Sisterly

"Neither of us minded giving up. I don't know how it happened. I was convinced for the longest time that I had failed him somehow. You know how he is. He is very... traditional? I was sure I had failed him. He didn't make love to me anymore, he didn't... Well, you have seen him... He doesn't even look at me anymore. I think I still look good. I'm not fat."

I wanted to say something but it wasn't necessary. I just let her continue.

"I was always sure I loved him and that he loved me. God, I shouldn't tell you this. You are just going to hate him worse."

"I don't hate him." "

Yes you do. And I hated Nathalie and that is just how it's going to be. It's fucked up and whatever but that's how it is, just don't shoot him. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Promise."

"I promise."

"So I was always sure he loved me but then I found the letters. You know he didn't hide them, he was sure I couldn't read them, but I figured out translator on the computer, you know its pretty easy and he has always loved someone else back home but he couldn't marry her because she was promised and this is all just so fucked up."

"Everyone is fucked up in some way." I didn't say it to make her feel better. It is one of my guiding principals. If you travel the world in a giant hunk of grey steel powerful enough to take out most of the planet in an afternoon you learn things.

"Are they all as fucked up as we are?"

"No." I said quietly.

After a long moment she continued. "So this is my room, really. I sleep in here when you aren't here."

"It's a nice room."

"I could sleep in here tonight." It was a statement but sounded like more of a question. I was just barely able not to respond. I was sure I was going to say no but instead said nothing.

"When are you due back?" she asked. Her hand was gently moving over my chest again. My hand had resumed stroking her back. I was tracing the outline of her shoulder blade. We were about to make love again. It was going to be sweet and soft again. I could tell.

"Three days."

"Truth gun."

"Two weeks I think, but I am going to go back early. It will be a long 'cruise.' It will be good if I am there to prepare."

"It will be different this time." She said.

"How so?" I wondered. I supposed I would be divorced this time, maybe I would find a girl in each port.

"I'll be waiting when you get back."