Sisters

"I don't know what came over me when I saw the first video, Arthur, but I hated what I was feeling, and I tried my best to deny it. It was like a narcotic. I knew it was destroying me, but the pleasure of it overwhelmed me.

"When I watched your performances for Constance and then the videos later, I realized that I had changed. I was a different person from the Tina you thought you knew. You should have seen me when I was watching you with that midget. I was like a bitch in heat.

"You don't want a woman like me, Arthur. I'm going to have to find a man that I can use, way beyond the way I used you just now. He'll have to do things for me that are disgusting and degrading, and he'll have to let me do things to him. Not all the time, because I couldn't live with myself. I'm hoping I can control myself enough to limit the sessions to once a month or so.

"I've thought about this a lot. If I try to keep a lid on my sick needs, I can imagine getting myself into horrible situations with horrible people to get what I crave. I've had nightmares about that.

"I can't ask you to be the man who's going to give me what I must have, Arthur. The circle has turned. The good King Arthur has pulled the sword out of the stone, and now he is a wonderful, decent man who must stay away from the evil witch that I've become. I'm so sorry, Arthur."

He listened quietly, shuddering occasionally. He felt like a black fog was coming down on him and he couldn't breathe.

When she stopped speaking, he looked at her, and she looked at him. Then he leaned forward and looked closely into her eyes.

"What are you doing, Arthur?"

"I was about to give up hope," he said. "But I thought I saw a flash of something in your eyes, and when I looked closer, I saw it again. Your voice tells me we're through, but your eyes are telling me I have a chance -- if I take it now, before the flash is extinguished.

"I'm not going to pretend I understand everything you just told me, Tina. You're much more complicated than I am. All I know is how much I love you, and how much grief I've given you. Whatever you do to me, it will never equal what you suffered. I'm ready for you to use me in whatever way you want to use me."

"You don't know what you're saying, Arthur. You have no idea of how depraved I am."

"Do you like seeing me with men?" he asked, swallowing and trying to control his trembling.

"Oh no!" she cried. "I would never allow a man near you again -- or a woman. It would only be you and me. And I'm not going to wear a penis and pretend I'm a man. But I've thought of other disgusting ways to degrade you. And I would film everything so I could watch the videos later -- by myself, because I can't let anyone else know what I've turned into.

"I've started seeing a therapist, and I hope some day, with her help, I will stop having these desires. Until then, when I need to do these sick things, I would try to make it up to you later -- with anal and more. And don't tell me you don't want it. I know you too well. You can't fight what's inside you. That's the lesson I've learned. What are you doing, Arthur?"

"I'm putting the ring on your finger," he said. "You are so much smarter than I am, but I feel like I just ran back an interception for a touchdown. We're going to the party, so I can announce our engagement. I don't know how I did it, but I moved you from telling me why it won't work to finding a way that it can.

"You say I'm different from before, Tina, but I'm not. I'm still selfish. I want you all for myself. I don't want to share the most wonderful woman in the world.

"For me, it's as simple as I want you, I have to have you and I'll do whatever it takes to keep you. Why are you crying like that, Tina? Did I say something wrong?"