Slave Diary

July 7th 2003

Today my life changed. I am in Brazil and Elizabeth is in Canada, at home. This morning we agreed to hold an erotic late night conversation about our bondage desires. Both of us would think of 2 or 3 new things we would like to bring into our already dominant and submissive relationship. The idea really excited me and I spent quite a bit of my spare time during the day thinking about my little list. By the time midnight in Rio rolled around I had collected about a dozen items on mine. I wondered how many Elizabeth had collected.

I waited expectantly for the telephone call. It came at precisely midnight. Elizabeth sounded very sexy and throaty as we said hello. No chat tonight about the kids or the cats. Just a brief conversation about the fact that tonight she is alone in bed - no cats around.

"You sound very sexy, have you got your infernal machine out?"

"No, but I am smoking a cigarette."

"Mmmmmm, that sounds good, are you going to get your infernal machine out?"

"Maybe not tonight. Well, actually, I have already had it out!"

"Should I light my cigarette?"

"I think so."

As I lit my cigarette, well two actually, Elizabeth continued, "So, have you been thinking about things?"

"Yes, have you?"

"Oh yes, I think that top of my list is taking another lover and putting some severe restrictions on you."

"That's great, it's time that you took another lover. It's a pity about Mike ..."

"Yes, but you never know. Maybe I'll give him another call. See if he wants to have lunch. And then I think you need to eat me more."

"Just like I did when we were in Paris."

"Exactly. So what have you been thinking about?"

"Well, as we said earlier today, I think it would be good to be used as human furniture by you, as a footstool or as your seat, as well as being your ashtray."

"Sounds good to me. What else?"

"Well, Mistress, I think that all the time we are alone, I should have to call you, Mistress. And that's all the time, not just when we are having one of our special days."

"I think so too. That sounds very submissive. I like that."

"I really want to have to address you as Mistress, all the time. You know, we both really love this dominance and submission, and I think that it's time we took it to the next level, don't you? We both love this stuff - it's when we are the most passionate, so why not explore it more. If this is the one time we pass this way, let's not miss out on the opportunity."

"You're right. And I want to as well. I think that we could arrange that.

"You should have a nickname for me, as well maybe."

"That sounds good, I'll have to think of one."

"May I suggest one, Mistress?"

"Well?"

"Ashtray ..."

"I'll have to think about that. You should also wear your cock rings a lot more. I don't think you have been wearing them enough."

That sounded very good to me, and gave me the opportunity to bring up one of my favourite bondage themes.

"And maybe when we're alone I should wear chains more often."

"Oh, absolutely. That can be arranged. What other ideas have you had?"

The conversation was getting quite wild. Mistress's voice was becoming more throaty, and I was masturbating furiously. My cigarettes were developing nice long pillars of ash at the ends.

"Mistress, should I flick some cigarette ash onto my tongue?"

"Of course."

The ash tasted so good in my mouth, a salty, gritty, dry bitter taste, the kind of taste that slaves should have in their mouths.

"Mistress, should I buy your cigarettes from now on, maybe a pack a month, knowing that I am your one hundred percent human ashtray Do you think that you could smoke a pack a month, as we've talked about?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You really want to smoke a pack of cigarettes a month from now on?" I was very excited at the prospect.

"I think so, why not? And you know, I think that I should tie you up a lot more when we are alone. More than in the past."

I flicked more ash onto my tongue. I continued to masturbate, a shiver of wild anticipation running through me. "Well that brings me to the number two item on my list, Mistress. I was wondering if I shouldn't go out this weekend and buy one of those large cages they use for big dogs, such as great danes. Then, when we are alone, you can put me in my cage sometimes. We can keep it in the shed, and if anyone asks, we can say we are keeping it for a friend."

"Hmmmm, we'll have to think about that." But the tone in Mistress' voice suggested a high degree of interest in my proposal.

"Should I go and buy one when I return this weekend?"

"I think that I'll decide when. It's not for a slave to make that decision. But it sounds like a good idea. Could be fun. Just like going outside and playing like we did last year. We must do that again sometime soon. I like tieing you down to the ground."

"Of course, we've also talked about the crucifixion scene. You know, the proper cross, not an X frame."

"Yes, but you know that I really like the X frame."

I flicked more ash off onto my tongue. It tastes so good! Being an ashtray is unbelievably submissive, I thought yet again.

Now I felt a need to make sure that this time our discussion was not just a sexy bedtime conversation. Was this the real thing? The adoption of a really dominant and submissive lifestyle I'd always dreamed of?

"Is this conversation for real," I asked, "Are we really going to do the things we are talking about tonight? I really want this to happen. As I said, we both love this kind of thing, and I really want to take it to the next level. Which of these things do you really want to do?"

"So do I. I mean what I'm saying. There's no reason why we shouldn't do all of them is there?"

"You really mean, that, all of them?" I couldn't help myself, this was everything I'd ever wanted to hear my mistress say.

"Absolutely," came the reply in her firm voice, "Now, tell me what's top of your list."

"Well, I really think that I should have to sign a slave contract for my birthday. A very tough one. For example, maybe I must be very subservient all the time from now on, no questioning where you've been, or getting angry when you are out later than I expect. Of course, I should be punished severely for transgressions."

Are you sure that won't just give you even more of an excuse to get angry, so you can be punished?" asked my Mistress.

"Not at all," I responded, "I really want to be much more submissive."

"Very well, then I'll present you with one for your birthday. But you must sign it." She added in a firm tone. "And do you have any more ideas?"

"Well, just that someday it would be great to go out to a fetish night somewhere together with you as the dom and me as the anonymous leather slave. And of course, more of the noose. It's amazing how that seems to arouse us both more than anything else. You really like that don't you."

"As much as you do," she replied.

"It's, so near the edge, about as close to the ultimate submission as we can get. You have me completely at your mercy."

"Uuuuh. Now, it's getting late. Is that cigarette ready to stub out yet?"

"Just a few moments, Mistress."

"Good and then it's time to go to sleep."

"So have you any commands for me?"

"You'll just have to wait and see until you receive the contract."

"I'm stubbing out the cigarette right now... It feels so good."

"That's great. Do you have a cock ring with you?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Well, wear it all day tomorrow."

"Yes, Mistress. Goodnight Mistress. I will call you in the morning."

"Goodnight, my love."

What a conversation, I lay back in bed, wildly excited. Would we keep it up tomorrow?

July 8th

The first thing that I did this morning when I awoke was put my cock ring on. Then, as I drank my coffee, I started to write this diary, playing with my cock, and luxuriating in the glow of knowing that finally, when we are alone together, Mistress intends to make me her full time slave and inflict on me a world of submission and cruelty that I may still not fully comprehend, and all because we love each other so perfectly. She can be scarily dominant and me, I want to be so submissive. Yet you have to be cruel to be kind, as they say, especially to a slave. My sense is that my Mistress not only is a most caring, loving woman, but that she has a wonderful capacity for inflicting exquisite cruelty, and I'm about to find out what that means. I can't wait to phone her and say, "Good morning, Mistress." Words that I want to say every morning for the rest of my life.

Mistress was quite sleepy when I woke her with my call. I think she was amused when I said, "Good morning Mistress." And we talked about the day. I took pains to address her as Mistress at the end of each sentence, almost. She had enjoyed her cigarettes and the conversation. I asked her about the diary and she said that it would be fine to keep it. I read her the opening sentence, and then the first paragraph of today's entry. Then I asked her if I could make one more request.

"Sure."

"Well Mistress, if I am to be your slave then it seems only right that I should serve you more, so maybe I should be the one to get up and make the tea and coffee in the morning."

We talked once during the day. I was very careful to address her as Mistress at the start and end of the conversation. I think she likes the idea!

Yes, she had been thinking about our new arrangement along the way, but I would have to wait for our bedtime call to hear what she had been thinking. And she was still serious about the arrangement.

As I lay waiting for her call, I completed the first day's entry in this diary, and lit a cigarette, which I flicked the ash from onto my tongue as it slowly burned down before stubbing it out, very deliberately, as always on my tongue. I keep wondering how Mistress will react when she sees the new mark on my chest! 11.53, and still no call!

Finally the call came. Another fun discussion with my Mistress. Snippets of the conversation that I remember:

"From now on, you will buy all my cigarettes, and you will be my ashtray."

"I am going to turn you into a total smoke slave, gradually increasing the numbers you have to smoke each day until you are smoking five or six packs a day, maybe more."

"From now on, when we are alone I will call you Ash, and you are going to be spending a lot more time as a totally anonymous leather slave."

"Sooner or later, I will find that new lover, and then you'll become totally submissive - totally cut off sexually, married in name only."

"You have to take your cock ring off for the evening, but wear it tomorrow, and positively no more cigarettes tonight."

"Have you thought any more about the cage?"

"Yes, but you'll have to wait until you get home to hear about that."

July 9th

In our wake-up conversation I asked my mistress if she would like me to bring back a package of the Brazilian cigarettes that I have been using. She thought that would be a good idea. I also asked if she would like me to find the article in Secret magazine that outlined over 100 possible clauses in a slave contract when I return home.

Mistress told me that we would have some fun on our drive to and from Ottawa on Saturday night. I'll have to wait and see what she has planned!