Slave, I am Not

Sir wanted me to experience BDSM properly. First off, He introduced me to His partner (she is a switch), and we all got along pretty well. We sat around in her home for a while, and looked at some pictures of her and Sir. When He arrived, He held her, and kissed her. I cowered back into a different room to give them their privacy. I didn't want them to be bothered, but I didn't take my eyes off of them. He was so loving towards her...I didn't know how to take it. After a few minutes, He saw me. I saw a slight twinkle in His eyes as He began to approach me. He then lowered His head to me, and gave me a slight peck on my lips, then complimented on how pretty I looked. I was wearing a black button up shirt, the same shirt I had worn the day I became His sub, a black cotton skirt that was very risqué, with fishnet stockings and five inch stiletto heels with diamond studs on the heels. Then I noticed how He looked. I had not seen Him dress so formally, it took my breath away. He was in a black wool suit with light stripes, and a satin blue button-up shirt. His blond hair was combed, but His cowlick was unruly as ever. His blue eyes had that twinkle, and I didn't know what to make of it. The sight of Him took my breath away. He looked so handsome! For a moment, I lost my train of thought, and didn't really know what to say to Him. I wasn't even able to compliment Him. To this day, I still cannot compliment Him! He asked me if I was ready.

I told Him I was, and that I took the day off of work to prepare myself. Truth be told, I stayed home pretty much the entire week because I had lost so much sleep. Too many thoughts ran through my head as this day approached. He just smiled. After the smile, a wicked laughter erupted from Him. Chills ran down my spine as I hear His laughter resonate through my body. What have I gotten myself into? I asked myself. I then asked Him when we were leaving. He just told me to hush myself, and not ask questions.

After a few minutes, we headed out the door, on our way to my first BDSM club. During the drive, she had reinforced that I wasn't allowed to ask questions, so I sat in the backseat of the car, awaiting doom (lol, they both told me I was in deep shit!). They, however, said we were going to dinner. I thought dinner was going to be at her place, but I guess it changed. So...along the way, she said that she needed to stop by somewhere to pick up a few toys. Now, going to a BDSM club, they already had many many toys. But again, I was not allowed to ask questions.

We pulled up the building, and I noticed that it was a pretty dingy apartment. I believed that she was going to walk in by herself, but Sir said that we all were to walk in. We walk into the apartment, and I see that it was a studio. I walked through the door, and noticed that at the far end of the room, there was a mirror. Wanting to see how I looked like, I walked towards the mirror, w/o asking permission. Sir's partner, whom I was told to call Mistress the entire night, called out to me, and ask, "Where is kitty going?" I walked up to them, and was surprised by a blindfold. Didn't really know what was going on, but...I had full trust in them.

After being blindfolded, Mistress placed my hands on her waist, and led me across the room. I was VERY apprehensive with my steps as I was wearing 5" stiletto shoes that I bought from a porn/adult clothing shop. She led me to a cage, and she and Sir helped me go inside. Standing in the cave, gripping the bars, Sir reached out to me, and unbuttoned a few buttons to reveal my boobies. They, then, left the room. Not really knowing what was going on, I sat in the cage, with my thoughts at first, running wildly.

After what seemed like an hour, I hear footsteps coming back into the room. Still blindfolded, I used the bars to help me sit up. Instead of hearing just Sir and Mistress, I hear a third voice. Excitement and fear began to fill me. Then hear the third man say, "is this the property?"

Property? What the hell? I thought I was their sub!

I then hear a voice say, "Would you like to look at the property?"

He declined, and said its better if they had dinner first. So, I sat back down. As they chatted away, I hear footsteps approach me; I turned my head towards the direction where the footsteps were coming from, anticipating doom. I hear Sir's voice, and it calms me down slightly. Then, the footsteps move away.

What I heard next made my heart race! Apparently, He (the 3rd voice) was a sex trafficker, and He was here to pick me up. He was leaving for San Francisco that night, and He came to meet up with my Sir and Mistress to see if I am of any value! Bile started to rise from my throat. My heart started palpitating as it sank in that They had planned this! They made me trust them so that they can sell me!

As I tried to push the thought out of my mind, I hear footsteps walking towards me. Cowering slightly, I move back inside the cage. Then I hear Sir's booming voice, telling me to get up, and move towards the bars. So...I got up from my sitting position, and walked towards the bars. As soon as I walked up to them, I feel rough hands squeeze my breasts so tightly, I thought they were going to explode (and no, I have no implants). He squeezed, twisted, and pinched my nipples so hard, I cried out. Then I felt a hand grab a fistful of my long black hair, tilting my head back.

Groaning, I held on tightly to the bars to keep me from losing my balance. As scared as I was, my body reacted to their abuse. Then I hear Mistress's voice in the back, "well, what is her worth?" the trafficker said that my value depended on how much my Owners are going to allow. Sir said He had His limits. The trafficker studied my hair, my breasts, my lips...then Sir told me to unbutton the rest of my shirt. They continued for a while, while negotiating on what They will allow. after what seemed like an eternity, they finally stopped their prodding, and focused on dinner. as soon as they let me go, I cowered away, and hid behind a curtain in the cage.

oh, I was scared for my life, and my safety. and I questioned my Sir and Mistress. would they REALLY send me off in the slave market? they talked of selling me to older European men, and the thought of being savagely ripped apart by random men sent a chill down my spine. cold sweat beaded out all over my body as I listened to them talk of how merciless European Doms are.

out of nowhere, Mistress tells Sir that She can't see me. SHIT!!! I hid further into the curtain, freaking out. Sir came up to the cage, and told me to come out. "kitty," He cooed with His soothing voice, "come out here." at first, I didn't listen to Him. the second time He said it, I still resisted. the third time, I walked towards His voice, and held the bars. I think this time around, they got me out of the cage.

when they took me out of the cage, I felt a man grab me by the hair, and shove me to the wall. He pulled my hair so violently that I could not differentiate whether this man was my Sir or the trafficker. but by His scent, I could tell it was not Sir. panic started to build up inside me, but I behaved. He kept touching and prodding, kneeing my butt. because of my extreme fear, my body reacted to Him. I began getting turned on. and I absolutely hated Everyone for the way They were making me feel. He then asks my Sir how many holes They wanted to sell. there was slight hesitance from my Sir, and then He says He was going to sell 2 holes. the trafficker said that the Europeans would pay extra money if assplay is allowed. My Sir said no, that my ass belonged to Him.

They then moved me from the wall next to the cage, to another part of the room where there was a medical bed. They plopped my body on top of the medical bed, with my legs still touching the floor. after a few minutes, They hoisted me up on the bed to tie me up. panic set in, and I fought. if they were going to take me, I was not just going to let them.

as they tried to wrap cuffs on my feet, I kicked and hit as hard as I can. I fought with all I had. It was a terrible struggle to keep me down. Sir, His partner, and the trafficker definitely had their work cut out for them. During the entire time on the table, the thought that kept reverberating in my head was 'Don't let Him win,' Him being my Sir. The three of them were trying to hold me down, but I kept slipping from underneath them. There were many times I almost fell from the examination bed.

During that fight, someone (I think it was Sir) tried to remove my shoes. The shoes I had on were 5' stiletto stripper shoes that were pointy enough to puncture skin. And I tried to use that to my advantage. I kicked harder, trying to find skin, and They knew that. So one of them held on to my feet while another tried to remove my shoes, and the third person held my chest down to make sure I don't injure anyone, including myself.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, my legs were strapped onto the table. Now, it was time for the hands. Just like when they were while they tried to strap my feet onto the bed, I fought. This time, I fought harder because they had already bound my ankles. I tried to hit, claw, bit, scream...I tried ANYTHING I possibly could to keep them from cuffing me. After a few minutes of struggling, the cuffs were on my wrists...oh, I was MAD!!!! Then, my right hand was attached to a piece of chain. I grabbed the chain quicker than they could, and held it with vice-like grip. The sex trafficker urged me to let go, and stop fighting. He had said that if I behaved like a good girl, I wouldn't get hurt. I scowled at Him as a reply. Then Sir's partner threatened me with the taser. I gave them All a look of contempt and hatred. They had power over me, and I couldn't do anything about it.

With every will I had, I still said no, despite the fact that I was looking at a very evil-looking piece of equipment head on. And because I didn't listen, I felt the taser on my boobs, and everywhere else. Yelping, I let the chain go. I still didn't want them to win! But I was too late. They had gotten a hold of the chain! They compiled on top of me, and held me down as someone chained my other cuffed wrist beneath the examination bed to the other hand.

Afterwards, they all removed themselves from on top of me to take a breather. I had worn them out. I pulled on the chain, trying to break the cuffs, and heard a sing-song voice yell out to me from across the room, "you are not going to get away, kitty, so don't even try."

This infuriated me. I pulled on the chain harder, and screamed a bloodcurdling scream. I pulled harder and harder, until the cuff on my right hand got loose. I pulled a final time, and finally I was free!!! I heard an evil laughter coming from the other side, and from the baritone sound of the tone, I knew it was Sir. They all rushed towards me, and tried to pin me down, one person at a time. Sir threw His body on top of my stomach, and His partner held me either by my hair, or by my chest, and tried to pull me down. Defiantly, I held on Sir's shirt collar, and pulled Him as she pulled me. The thought going thru my head was, if she was going to induce pain on me, it will bypass me, and hurt Him. She pulled over, and over again, and I pulled His collar over and over, inflicting pain on Him. He then told me to let go of the collar. So, I let it go, and held Him by His neck.

I think they electrocuted me, I'm not particularly sure...I just remember that they laid me down uncuffed, and Sir was standing over me, with an ice pack on His head (He had gotten hit earlier). He was looking deep into my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was the medication that He had taken, fatigue, or wine, but the expression in His eyes made it difficult for me to breathe (and yes, I completely understand the fact that I fought three people for with my life). It was soft, caring....if I'm not mistaken, I think I saw love...but maybe I was imagining things. I returned His look with scathing hatred...how dare He hurt me? I challenged His gaze, daring Him to look away.

He never did.

"Why are you staring?" He asked me softly. I didn't really hear Him, so I gave Him a confused look. "What are you trying to prove?" He asked me.

I pierced Him with my eyes, and replied with, "You are not going to win." He strained to listen to what I had said, so I said it a little louder. The expression in His eyes didn't change, even as I said that. He still gave me a loving look that almost melted my scathing gaze.

Almost.

He moved His free hand, and tried to caress my hair. At first, I flinched at His touch, thinking He was going to hurt me, but after realizing that He was being completely gentle, I calmed down. He ran His hands all over my face, trying to calm me down, and then He moved it downwards. He was showing me kindness, gentleness, compassion...

But I didn't believe that. All I know is that He is an evil man, and He will not win!!! I steeled myself, with my hands crossed across my chest, took a deep breath.

"I hate you," I said.

"Why do you hate me?" He asked me.

"Because you are doing this to me..." I whispered quietly, my strength fading.

"What am I doing to you?" His expression not wavering, He continued His quiet assault on my body, and continued to look into my eyes, slowly trying to melt my determination. My mind was alert, and wanted to blame Him for my hurt. I wanted to hurt Him as badly as He had hurt me. He had betrayed me, and He was going to pay.

BUT I WILL NOT LET HIM WIN!!!

After what seemed like an eternity, the scene began once more. Everything else felt like a haze...I believe I had said "fuck you" to the trafficker, and my got my pussy caned... Ohhh....I believe I remember getting my pussy caned...they loved it when I cried. Later on, they had flogged me...

Everything is hazy after I promised Sir He wasn't going to win.

That is a promise I keep to this day...