Slime of Your Life

"Forgive my impertinence, leetle one." The troll apologized. "I will not make such a mistake again."

"Apology accepted." She shrugged, wobbling a bit to shake the troll blood off her face. The goblin screeched at him, apparently wanting the fight to continue. "What about him?"

The troll picked up the goblin in his surviving hand and put him on his shoulder like a parrot. "He will get over it." And they moved to the back of the car, the goblin shaking his tiny fist and cussing impotent threats at her.

Sly counted the condoms inside her again. Fifteen. She hadn't lost any of them. But now she had to find that centaur again. It was a handsome lad centaur with a vest and a shaved chin, unlike most of his kind.

"You were really going to fight that guy to protect me?" She asked.

"If I had to." The centaur nodded. "But it was evidently not necessary."

"I still appreciate it." She set her hand on his horsey breast and patted it, feeling the warmth coming from this handsome...

"Do you have a condom?" Sly whispered to him.

The centaur looked about, and they trotted together to the lavatory. The brave centaur was prepared, though he could never put on condoms by himself for obvious reasons. Birth control was an entirely new concept to centaurkind following their assimilation into the city, along with barbershops and trousers.

Spread out on the lavatory floor, Sly was getting pounded mercilessly by the chivalrous centaur. Sly tried to protect her other condoms from him, but there was only so much room she had inside her. He was afraid his powerful thrusts would break one of them.

Sly turned her head around to face him without moving the rest of her body, a startling and unerotic image. She suggested a new position. The centaur gentleman was on his back now, and Sly was atop him. It could only be called 'riding' by anyone who didn't know the first thing about horses. His hooves kicked in little circles like the legs of an upturned spider. She started to feel herself loosen again, as her arms and hair started to drip about the floor.

Sly stretched out her arms to hold his hooves, and two further extensions behind her to hold his rear legs. She rocked them around as she continued riding him, her goo growing so loose, her arms dangled like loose clotheslines.

The centaur finally released himself into the condom, filling it like she knew he would, until it was the largest balloon inside her by far, like a hot dinosaur egg floating freely in her system. She tied it off once he was satisfied and moved it into her abdomen. It would be big enough to imply a pregnant belly look all by itself.

She collected her droplets, helped the nice centaur up to his hooves and planted a sweet berry-flavored kiss on his lips before she sauntered off.

Sixteen, she thought. Not a bad day at all.

The centaur's heart fluttered. The sex he was used to, obviously. The joke was that once archery became obsolete, centaurs could no longer say that was what they were best known for. But that kiss... that sort of intimacy was mostly absent from his society. That kiss would be what he would remember this day, and what would make his heart beat harder.

That and why in the world was this woman sequestering semen, anyway?

-

Only one elevator stood between Sly and her apartment now, and thankfully, she was in this one alone. New Mureybet at large was not ready for a woman like Sly, even if she wasn't eccentric. And what slime that chose a life outside the low-level forest would not be eccentric?

Sly reached her front door and brushed some of the dirt and dust that always accumulated on her "feet" as she walked through the city. If she didn't do this, she'd eventually be filled with straw wrappers, pebbles and cigarette butts. Then, the only way to get clean would be to pass through a thin wire strainer. That could always be fun, but it was easier to stay clean in the first place. She could hold all the strange metahuman semen in her without the use of condoms, but the simpler solution prevailed.

With no purse to hold keys, Sly crept her foot under the tiny space between the bottom of the door and the floor. Pulling her foot back upwards and shaping it into a hand, she opened the doorknob from the other side and walked in.

Sly lived in a one-bedroom apartment with minimum décor and amenities. It had a television watch and a bucket to watch television in, but not much else in the apartment served her any use. Most of that was for her roommate.

Spread out on the couch, listlessly looking at her phone, was Lani. She was, far and away, one of the rarest minorities in New Mureybet. Not because she was a human of no particular metahuman combination, but because she was an all-human who did not become a bloodthirsty adventurer who killed monsters like cockroaches any time a dragon had the impertinence to try to take over the world. Maybe it's because her parents were well-to-do merchants to sold incrementally better equipment in different cities across the continent. If she'd instead been born to someone slain by the dragon when just a whelp, perhaps everything would be different and she and Sly would never have crossed paths.

How sad Sly would be then. Lani was a wonderfully beautiful woman, slender like an elf, hair blonder and softer than a mermaid, with the generous bosom as well. She tended to wear less clothes than a nymph and enjoyed the city nightlife more than a werewolf. Lani was neither graceful nor motivated, often spending her afternoons puffing on her pipe, loaded with a mix of slimweed and Kobold white tobacco. It calmed her nerves. That's what Lani said. Not sure what she had to fret about, being effortlessly beautiful and unemployed.

Lani turned her head towards the sound, tossing a few strands of straight blonde hair about. She smiled as she saw her roommate come home bearing 'groceries.'

"Heeey." Lani jumped up and trotted over to Sly, wearing her tiny thong panties, a lacy bra and an open sweater that was probably meant for a larger ensemble. But what did Sly know about clothing? For Lani, this was 'dressed up,' which was a euphemism for 'actually broke out the bra today.'

Her arms wrapping around Sly no less defly than if she herself was made of goo, Lani pressed forward and kissed her on the lips. She'd come to really love Sly's fruity taste. For an example that would make sense to someone not from New Mureybet, she tasted something like the mixed berry toaster pastries that would dare advertise something coming out of the toaster as 'wild.'

The long kiss made Sly feel weak and more fluid. Maybe it was the heat from Lani's body, but maybe it was the fact that she had been nursing a serious crush on her roommate for over a year. Perhaps it was silly to say she was crushing on someone with whom she'd had sex many many times, but Lani was not a romantic person. The hazards of courtship in a world with so many mixing cultures had led her to live free of the trappings of dating.

Sly would still call Lani her 'girlfriend' on occasion, but never without the quiet wish that it could be even more someday.

Lani stroked Sly's back and saw the multiple condoms floating inside her. "Busy day at work?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "How's the job search?"

"I had a remote interview today." Lani said. "They talked to me from here."

"Did you get dressed for that?"

"I couldn't see them, so I assumed they couldn't see me." Lani said. "Anyway, I had to take a wavescan so they knew I wasn't a shapeshifter."

If there was an underclass below slimes, it was the shapeshifters. Too often had they impersonated someone important for some ill-gotten gain. Most shapeshifters worked in the entertainment industry, imitating the shapes of politicians and other famous individuals for the purpose of comedy, satire, but most often... novelty pornography.

In this area, those who were not roughly human-shaped, either too small like goblins or too large like orcs, were afforded a huge advantage. Shapeshifters could imitate their shape, but not their size or mass. An attempt to fake the sex tape of the second female orc Chief Consular was performed with two shapeshifters on a purpose-built miniature bed and set.

Nobody was fooled. Even in the industry of dead ringer pornography programs, nobody believed the celebrities and political figures were actually participating. But to pretend it was authentic was not aboveboard; the shapeshifter society shunned them for this chicanery. Perhaps ironically, they were driven into hiding.

Hiring shapeshifters outside of what they collectively called "the business" wasn't uncommon, but the law insisted that a shapeshifter had to disclose that information at the time of the interview. The same general rule applied as before: a shapeshifter could look like whatever he or she wanted, so long as they did not pretend to actually be someone else.

This led to the use of the wavescan, a marriage of computers and magic that could verify via a scan of brainwaves and aura if they were the person they were pretending to be. It was the closest thing to universal metahuman fingerprinting. Shapeshifting identity theft vanished overnight upon its inception.

Sly couldn't extinguish a little disgust in her heart at what shapeshifters had forced everyone else to go through. Even the name bothered her. SHE was a shapeshifter. Sometimes, she took the shape of a cube or any other Platonic solid. It could be relaxing to be something so perfect and regular. Sometimes Lani would stack Sly's rectangular form at the top of a shelf for fun. Let's see those facestealers do that.

"Shapeshifters wish they could be as beautiful as you." Sly cooed.

"Oh, they can be." Lani let Sly slip out of her grip. "So, hopefully, they'll call me soon, and then I'll have a job again."

"All this for a job as a waitress?"

"I know! I couldn't believe I had to get a wavescan for that. What's the world coming to? So many freaks out there." She took a seat on the couch. She hooked both hands into her panties and slipped them off her legs. "You want to get started?"

"Definitely." Sly said eagerly. "I need to unload all this."

Lani spread her legs apart, hooking one leg over the edge of the sofa. Sly reshaped herself to give herself a new addition, the natural device that would be used to inseminate her not a few hours ago, and also that one time on the train.

Through rigorous testing, Sly had learned the exact hardness, thickness and length that satisfied Lani the most: nine and three quarters inches. Upon this discovery, Lani made a joke about something called Harry Potter. Sly had never heard of it.

Sly rested her hands on Lani's shoulders, brushing her hair back over the edge of the sofa. Sly pressed herself inside Lani, who grabbed onto the crook of Sly's elbow and nearly passed right through it. Sly happily pounded herself against Lani's wet slit. Watching her cheeks color, her eyes squint, her toes flex... she felt herself softening again, except for where it counted. That would stay solid until the end.

"What do you want to start with?" Sly asked, acting like a sommelier.

"What's on tap tonight?"

"The usual. Elf, goblin, dwarf, minotaur... centaur."

"Let's start with the centaur."

"Coming right up." Sly felt the many condoms inside her shift in position until the largest one filled with centaur semen descended into the small pouch of slime that represented Sly's testes. The size of this condom distended her simulated scrotum, hanging down like an apple from a skinny branch of a tree. Sly pumped harder, feeling herself start to drip and leaving pink-purple dots around Lani's perfect belly button, the engorged scrotum sloshing back and forth.

Unable to hold back any longer, Lani cried out in ecstasy. That was Sly's cue. A thin tube formed inside her slimy penis, leading from the tip to the centaur-strength condom. She undid the knot and pointed it at the hole while compressing the condom with the surrounding slime.

Once the ejaculate was being transferred, Sly stopped her humping and held herself against Lani, forming a barrier from which no sperm could escape. Lani cried out as she felt the torrent of lukewarm splooge flush inside her. The pressure inside her increased as the condom emptied.

"Oooh... come on, every last drop..." Lani begged, and Sly complied, eventually passing the condom itself into Lani's insides, where it would surely not help prevent a pregnancy.

Lani looked down at her abdomen. There appeared to be no change.

"Ugh." Lani groaned. "Still flat as a board."

"A flat stomach seems to be the goal of everyone in the world but you." Sly pointed out, still locked inside Lani, holding the dam of semen inside her. "Here you are, trying to make yours round."

"Nobody ever gets what they really want." Lani said. Sly knew that feeling very well. "No matter what I try, I'll never have a round belly. Every time I see that orangutan at the zoo, I'm jealous."

"Well, he's fat because people throw popcorn at him." Sly said. "You want more? Because I'm holding it all in right now, so if I let go, we're going to have a mess."

"Go for it. Let's get some... werewolf in here."

"I've got two of those." She dropped them into her scrotum, giving it the pleasing upside-down-heart shape. "We'll have to do the jackhammer."

'The jackhammer' was a sexual position named named after an obsolete tool, in the proud position of the wheelbarrow and the ice cream scoop. Having formed a semenproof seal around the edge of Lani's vulva, Sly was free to pound her inside by extending herself into her without actually pumping with her hips. This left her free to rapturously kiss Lani on the mouth and massage her breasts. For Sly, to touch anything was to taste anything, and her palms sucked on Lani's nipples with gentle pressure.

Lani only had but her tongue to taste, but she made good use of it, tasting the neverending fruitiness of her lips. No wonder young adventurers loved hunting them. They probably never knew the carnal pleasures she and Sly had shared on this couch, their bed, the bathroom floor, or wherever the mood struck them.

The Jackhammer picked up speed, squishing noisily around inside her rapidly. Sly's lips met Lani's neck and kissed it below her ear. Lani's muscles tightening, she howled again, and Sly let loose her twin payload of fresh-squeezed werewolf semen. Lani's insides filled to where her appendage was no longer touching any of the sides, awash in a sea of ejaculate. Her seal was straining under the pressure, but held with no leaks... so far.

And Lani's stomach was still flat.

"Let it never be said that my understanding of anatomy is that robust," Sly said. "But my understanding is that to make a round stomach, you must go through the mouth first." Sly presented a finger, which Lani dutifully sucked. The finger grew longer and reached further into her mouth, but was pulled out to let her speak. "Which one do you want?"

"How about some elf?" Lani said. "Wish I'd saved the centaur. I wonder how it would taste."

"Like grass." Sly said. "Trust me. You didn't miss much, even when it was fresh. I mean, there's much of it, as you can tell." The tendril returned and the condoms jostled within her, Marcc's bubble of emissions rising into her arm. "Should I just let loose? Even you're not going to orgasm from this."

"You leave what orgasms I am currently having to me." Lani announced. "Just dispense with the stolen elf jizz, please."

Sly complied, and squeezed out the elf sperm into Lani's open maw. She squirted it out in several forceful bursts, like the blasts from a water gun. Lani's mouth rang out with the white noise of filling a shallow glass over and over. She swallowed each mouthful before receiving the next until the condom was emptied.

"That's half-elf, isn't it?" Lani asked. "What kind of scam are you trying to pull here, Sly?"

"I wasn't trying to pull a fast one. You asked for elf. I saw a half-elf today." Sly leaned back. "How the hell can you tell them apart, anyway? I can't, and every cell of my body is a taste bud."

"Half-elves can't have children." She said. "Just like mules, almost all half-breeds and quarter-breeds are infertile."

"I guess it's good we're not wasting it down there, then."

"This is taking too long." Lani said. "Just go down there and shoot it all in."

"Before I block your mouth, should I try filling your ass, too?"

"Go for it. Let's do it all. Bring it on." She encouraged, gesturing with both hands to hurry it up. The tendril entered Lani's mouth, and a second extension appeared between Sly's legs and slithered gently into Lani's butt. She slightly reduced the size of her first extension to give a bit more room for Lani's second-favorite slimy substance.

Sly wrang out condom after condom, slinging the kobold and minotuar ejaculate down Lani's throat and into her stomach. The merman and human fisherman's sperm were sent into Lani's slit to resolve their differences. The leprechaun sperm would be delivered, unluckily, into Lani's ass. The remaining balloons were squeezed off into whichever orifice they were closest to.

Lani's stomach was pleasingly full, her ass had plenty of room for more, but her pussy was as strong as ever, only Sly's plug holding everything inside. And still, her abs were flat as the side of a bookcase.

She sighed. "Why doesn't anything work? How much more jizz do I need?"

"Can we go to the bathroom?" Sly asked quietly.

Lani squinted at her. "You don't use the bathroom."

"Yes, but I can't hold this inside you much longer, and I'd rather let go of it in there."

Lani got up, holding Sly by her back, and carried her into the bathroom. Stepping into the shower, Sly released her hold on Lani's vulva. A slurry of mixed sperms splattered coldly at Lani's feet.

They both sighed with obvious relief. "I'm sorry, Lani." Sly said, bringing her goopy cheek against Lani's shoulder. "There's no way. Even if I packed it all in there, it's not going to give you that big bloated stomach you want. It's just too strong."

"Cursed with a flat stomach AND a tight pussy..." Lani pouted. "Has ever a girl suffered as I have?"

Sly slid her head towards Lani's and pecked her on the cheek. "I have." She thought, keeping it to herself.

Lani stroked Sly's extrusion of goo that was meant to be hair. "Thanks, anyway." She kissed her again, letting her down to the bathroom floor.

"Anytime." She smiled.

"Ew, you have two dicks?" Lani pointed with a gentle sneer.

Sly looked down. She had forgotten the equipment she'd created for her double penetration. "Well, yeah. You wanted two insertions, so why not?"

"That's weird." Lani shrugged.

Sly split the penises into quarters, leaving multiple thin strands hanging like tentacles. "Look at me, I'm Octo-penis!" Lani snickered, and Sly wrapped the eight appendages together and drew them back into her body. Her height grew by an inch of two from the mass returning to her trunk.

Lani was silent for a second, wiping her feet free of the ejaculate on the bath mat. "You hungry?" She asked suddenly.

Sly wondered how she could be hungry after filling her with so much semen. Her body must absorb it like a sponge. "I'm OK. But we can go grab dinner if you want."

"I have to get dressed?" Lani released a dramatic groan. "I guess so." She went off to their bedroom. Sly returned to the living room and plucked a single round lollipop from the bowl on the coffee table. She pitched the wrapper in a nearby waste basket and put the lollipop between her teeth. It was 'mystery flavor,' but there was no mystery to her. She could taste all the individual fruits that were in the remnants of each lollipop batch, her analogue to those 'everything bagel' that were so popular with humans. Sly swirled her tongue around the pop, waiting for Lani to return.