tagHumor & SatireSnow White and the Seven Perverts

Snow White and the Seven Perverts


Once upon a time in a kingdom by the sea—actually it was Asbury Park, New Jersey—there was a beautiful young maiden whose nickname was "Snow White." Her real name was Shelly White, but both the boys and the girls in her high school had called her "Snow White" because of her high sense of morals—and her refusal to put out.

And everyone wanted her—at least all the boys did. Snow White was 18 years old, about five foot six with long blonde hair, blue sparkling eyes and the cutest little figure you ever saw. Her breasts appeared to be of modest size, but they also looked like they were perfectly formed. The saddest thing about them was that the boys were beginning to realize they would probably never see them—nor see her Little Beaver either.

At first, the boys had tried asking her out, but for the most part they got nowhere with their invitations because Snow White knew what their intentions were: a wrestling match in the back seat of a car as they tried unsuccessfully to "stick it in."

The few times Snow White went out with someone who she thought was "nice," she usually found out he was not so nice—and his intentions were the same as the others.

"I'm saving myself and my virginity for marriage," she told herself—and anyone else who would listen. And eventually, the boys stop asking her out, and some of the girls referred to her as "Little Miss Lock Box."

None of this was good news to Lucille, who was Snow White's stepmother. Both Snow White's mother and her father were dead, killed in a car accident, leaving only her cruel stepmother Lucille to take care of her.

And Lucille hated that job. She hated it mainly because even at the age of 40, she was a pretty good-looking babe, and it was common knowledge that she would put out to any high school boy who asked. Many of them did. But many of the others would not because they were still hoping to get into Snow White.

Lucille realized that as long as Snow White was around, she would be second best in that house—no matter what the mirror said. But how to get rid of Snow White?

And then the circus came to town. Lucille had nothing to do that weekend, so she decided to go see the circus for a little amusement. Naturally, she did not offer to take Snow White.

Most of the circus was deadly boring, but one amusing act in the sideshow was called "The Seven Little Pranksters." It consisted of seven dwarfs doing a bunch of silly things. They looked like a bunch of little perverts, as far as Lucille was concerned.

Hmmmmm. Perverts. That gave her an idea. The leader of the dwarves appeared to be a stubby little fellow with glasses called "Doc Feelgood." After the show was over, Lucille asked for directions and was pointed to a large motor home in which the seven dwarves traveled together.

Doc. Feelgood, who was the only one there at the time, greeted Lucille with a little suspicion, but a half hour later, he was quite interested in what she was proposing.

"She looks quite beautiful from this picture," he said, admiring the photo that Lucille had given him.

"She is beautiful. And she's a virgin. And you can have her. All seven of you. You can do anything you want to with her—as long as you take her out of town and keep her there—or deposit her a long way from here."

"And you'll pay us five thousand dollars?"

"That's about seven hundred for each of you. A thousand now, and the rest when I know you have her locked away and are ready to leave."

"It's a deal."


What Doc Feelgood did not tell Lucille was that all of the seven dwarves were drug or alcohol addicts—as well as being perverts—and he was their supplier. So figuring out a way to kidnap Snow White was an easy matter for him. They would go to the address Lucille had given them, tell Snow White they were delivering a singing telegram from a secret admirer, and when they were in the house, Doc would pull out his trusty bottle of chloroform and his flannel cloth.

Snow White greeted them looking like a vision of loveliness. She wore a pale blue dress with a white scarf about her neck and white slippers.

"Oh!" she said in delight when she saw them.

The chloroform worked like a charm—just like it always did. Throughout their lives, all of the dwarves had found they had a hard time getting dates—until Doc. Feelgood suggested chloroform as a dating "introduction service." Now, they had at least one date in every town. And this time, it was to be Snow White. They stuffed her into a duffel bag they had brought for that purpose, took her out to the motor home, and drove off.

Doc Feelgood collected the rest of the money from Lucille before they left town, but he had conveniently forgotten to tell the other dwarves about the money.

On the way out of town, they waited for Snow White to wake up.

"Where am I?" she finally said groggily as she sat up in the center of the living room floor. She looked around her in disbelief. It was like she had arrived in Oz.

"You are with the Seven Jolly Pranksters, a traveling company of players" Doc Feelgood said, "But fear not, no harm will befall you, and in a couple of days in another town, we shall put you on a bus with a one-way ticket back to your home."

"What am I doing here?" Snow White asked as she got to her feet, noticing that her shoes were gone. "And how did I get here?"

"We have brought you here as our temporary date—until we get to the next town," Doc Feelgood said.

"Temporary date?"

"Exactly. And now, let me introduce your temporary boyfriends. Going from left to right, we have Mr. Happy, Bashful Foreskin, Sneezy Cokehead, Sleepy Qualude, Grumpy Alky and Dopey Mainliner. And I am of course Doc Feelgood."

"What are you going to do to me?" Snow White asked.

"No more than you deserve surely. We all have different sexual tastes, and we all have trouble getting girlfriends. So for the next two days, you will be our girlfriend—and satisfy our sexual tastes."

"You're kidding me."

"Sorry, no. But I have been told by...a certain someone that you are a virgin in all areas, so we will proceed slowly but methodically. Starting with Mr. Happy, I believe he would like to show you his if you will show him yours—and you can remain a virgin."

Snow White stared in disbelief as Mr. Happy opened his trousers and brought out what was truly his "Mr. Happy", a turgid penis that was ten inches long. Snow White gasped.

"And now you must show him yours," the Doc said.

"I will not!" she said indignantly.

"You can either undress yourself—or Mr. Happy will be happy to do it for you."

Snow White looked at Mr. Happy. She dreaded what his undressing technique might include, and she realized she did not have any choice. Reluctantly, she pulled down the zipper at the back of her dress and stepped out of it. She was clad in a yellow pair of cotton panties and a white bra. The dwarves looked at her admiringly. "Everything?" she asked.

"Everything," Doc replied.

Snow sighed as she unfastened her bra, let it drop, hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and pushed them down to her ankles.

"Wow," said Mr. Happy—and the rest appeared to feel the same. All of the dwarves stared in amazement at the most beautiful pair of breasts they had ever seen and the most beautiful little spun gold muff they had ever seen. Snow White knew it was pointless to try and cover herself, so she didn't.

"And now, Bashful Foreskin would like to take your first cherry by having you suck his cock."

"I will not!" Snow White said.

"I think you will—if you know what's good for you."

Bashful Foreskin shyly stepped forward, climbed up on a chair, unfastened his pants and pulled it out. His cock also was a good ten inches—and thick.

Looking around, Snow White realized again that she had no choice. She got down on her knees, moved over to Bashful...and took his cock in her mouth.

Luckily, she did not have to work at it very long. With a groan, Bashful shot a great load into her mouth. She tried to swallow most of it, but some still came dribbling down her chin. "Yuck!" she said.

"Sneezy likes to snort a little coke and then eat a little pussy, so I guess you can lie down for that," Doc said.

By this time, Snow White knew the drill, so she laid down on the floor and spread her legs. At least she could rest during this one.

Sneezy stepped forward and got down on his knees between Snow's lovely thighs.

Snow had to admit when it was all over that she had actually sort of enjoyed it, and the rest of the dwarves had enjoyed the show, applauding at the end.

"Sleepy likes to do it the easy way," Doc said. "He likes to come in your mouth as you're yawning."

"No way!" Snow said, sitting up.

Sleepy pulled out his member, which also was a stiff ten inches, walked over to her and pinched her nostrils. In surprise, Snow had to open her mouth to breathe, and after a couple of quick jerks, Sleepy shot a hefty load into her mouth. Again, she tried to swallow it all but could not, and some dribbled down her chest.

"Grumpy Alky likes to pour crème de menthe on a girl's pussy or asshole and lick it off," Doc said.

"Whatever," Snow said with a sigh. She turned over and presented her upraised ass. Grumpy took out a minature bottle of crème de menthe from his pocket, carefully poured it into the tiny cup of Snow's asshole, then licked it out.

"As long as you're in that position, I can tell you that Dopey likes it just the way it was done to him when he was little," Doc said. "In the ass."

"Oh no!" Snow said, leaping to her feet and clutching her bottom. "I've never done---"

"We know that—but you have no choice. We need to get to the bottom of things—so to speak."

Snow looked around at them...then got down on her hands and knees. Dopey pulled out his roto-rooter, which was naturally ten inches.

"Here, use this," Doc said, and he tossed Dopey a tube of KY jelly.

Dopey lathered up Snow White's asshole, then greased his pole. Then, with a silly look on his face, he slammed it into her.

"OWWWWWWWWW!" Snow cried.

Dopey plunged it back and forth like a piston, while the rest of the dwarves applauded in time. When Dopey pulled it out, the end was wet and dripping—as was Snow's asshole.

"Finally, we come to the piece de resistance—so to speak," Doc said, as he unbuttoned his trousers. "The highlight of the evening. I like it the good old-fashioned way, so I'm going to take your virginity, pop your cherry as they say. Any objections?"

"Bring it on," Snow said with resignation.

"I'd rather you said: 'Please fuck me, Doc.'"

Snow sighed. "Please fuck me, Doc."

Two of the dwarves hurried to the couch, pulled off the cushions and lined them up on the floor.

"You may lie on the cushions," Doc said, pulling out his cock, also another ten-inch wonder. "And I think I'll use a little of that KY to make it easier on the both of us."

Dopey tossed him the tube as Snow White laid down on the cushions. Doc greased up his organ, then slathered some on Show White. "Here we go," he said.

Doc was not one to spend much time with preliminaries or foreplay. He wedged the large head of his cock into Snow White's tight and furry little pussy, took a breath—and plunged it all the way in.

"AAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Snow White cried.

A few moments later, Doc filled her pussy with warm semen. Then, knowing that she would be dripping and bleeding for awhile, the dwarves gently carried Snow White, who had fallen into a sort of coma, to the warm and soapy bath they had prepared. For the next 40 minutes, they tenderly bathed and anointed her with body oil. Finally, they carried her sleeping form to the bedroom and laid her carefully on the bed. They covered her naked body with the bedspread. In case she woke up hungry and thirsty later, they placed a large shrimp cocktail and an opened bottle of fine French wine on the nightstand beside her.

Then, after making some popcorn in the kitchen, they all retired to the living room to enjoy the video of the evening that Doc had carefully arranged for by setting up a camera in the bookcase.

"This is going to be good!" Happy said.

And it was good. And it was going to get even better.

"How are you feeling?" Doc asked Snow White when he visited her room the next morning. He was carrying her clothes in a bundle.

"Sore...and hung over," she replied. "I drank that whole bottle of wine."

"It was probably good for you. But I wanted to tell you that you've been such a good sport about this whole thing that we've decided to send you back to your hometown today if you want. I brought your clothes for you, and we can put you on a Greyhound in the next town if you like. We will take care of the ticket of course." He put the clothes on the bed. "Just let us know when you're ready."

After he had left the room, Snow White began to think about it. She could return to her hometown where everyone treated her badly and where her stepmother Lucille was cruel to her. Or she could become a sort of den mother to these seven little perverts who after all had treated her well and with respect—and had taught her a lot. Plus they truly seemed to like her—and all of them had big dicks, which was beginning to sound good to Snow. A girl could do worse, she thought. She could return home and continue to be miserable...or she could stay here and become "Queen of the Dwarves"—so to speak.

A half hour later, Doc knocked on her door. "Ready, Snow White?" he asked.

"I sure am." She opened the door and stood there in the doorway leaning against the doorjamb. She was stark naked. And smiling. And fluffing her muff. "Any of you little perverts up for some fun?" she asked.

And that's the true story of Snow White.

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