So, I Bought This Bike

{I haven't been writing much lately, I have an excuse. Recently I made a trip down to northern California, I saw an ad for a Harley Davidson and for some screwball reason I wanted the thing. It wasn't exactly a normal motorcycle, it was converted into the tricycle type.

Harder to fall off of is what I was thinking. The idea of wind in my hair, my sexy wife Debra on behind, pressed up against me, Sun shining was the fantasy.

I am 74 years old, there was a flaw in my reasoning.

Debra was dead set against it, but I sometimes am as stubborn as she is. She finally shrugged and gave in. I probably should have taken her advice.

It was a hell of a trip, complete with another story I will write later. Back home, I got the thing cleaned up, running, took it out for a few spins. Everything seemed fine.

About three weeks later, I was riding, not far from the little coastal town we live in are some curves. Not real bad ones, I rolled into the first one, made that, set up for the next one, a bit fast but I thought it was OK.

Now, as I have learned, trikes don't steer real well, they like to go straight, but no problem if we ease off on the throttle in the turn to let the front wheel grab better.

I gave it a little throttle, just like a person might do in a car. At that moment, the rider shifts weight forward, to gain better front wheel traction. It's best to just let the machine roll around any turns.

I don't think I did that.

The landing in the ditch wasn't even all that fast, just fast enough for me to go ass over teakettle over the handlebars. It would have been way better it there hadn't been some fucking Blackberry bushes right there, those scratched the shit out of me.

My wrists hurt too, I did manage to crawl back up the bank and sit there as other vehicles stopped. That was when it hit me, both of my wrists were clearly broken, and I was bleeding like the proverbial stuck Hog from all sorts of places.

My right leg would not hold my weight, I glanced down, saw the odd angle, then passed out.

I remember looking up and seeing Kathy who works for the local ambulance service, pick up her end of the stretcher. We have known her for years, husky young gal, strong as a horse.

"You will be fine, Danny!" She gave me a reassuring grin. I was noticing how nice she looked, her slacks snug, showing her rather nice round booty. Big set of jugs too, no way for her to hide that even wearing her uniform blouse..

Yeah, I know. Thinking like that while on a stretcher, hell, I could have been dead.

Damn, I was hurting.

I think I passed out again.}

+++

Debra didn't chastise me about buying the bike, she didn't say I told you so, none of that. But I could tell.

She was pissed off at me.

Both arms in casts, turned out to be more broken than just wrists. My leg was seriously screwed up. How a fucking berry bush can cut a person so deeply it requires stitches is beyond me, I still think I must have landed on something sharp, there sure was one hell of a lot of cuts.

Yeah, I was a mess, and at my age healing quickly just does not happen.

A lady named Leann Conners is my new provider, I was in the process of writing a story about my first appointment with her when this latest crap happened. She stopped by every other day to see if I was still alive. I can't say as I mind, she is about 35 or so and on the cute side.

"Cute" is an understatement. Plus she has had my junk in her hands, and her fingers up my ass.

I guess that means we are friends?

If I sound a little screwy here, it's because I am and some stuff still hurts.

There were pills, too. Lots of them. Doctors think they can fix anything with pills, it seems. I managed to pretend to take some of them, the ones that made me feel ten feet tall I didn't like much.

So what if things hurt? All that means is I know I am still alive.

I expected to maybe stay in the hospital for a day, perhaps two, but not to be. Having a Doctor for a wife that runs the area medical clinic means a person gets pretty good care, I think.

Besides, with a leg in traction, you are not going anywhere. Casts on both wrists, 74 years old, healing is slow.

+++

"How long am I going to be stuck here?" I asked my wife Debra the 3rd day (I think)when she dropped by to visit. I was already missing my normal life, things like fishing, walking down to the cafe by the docks and swapping lies with whatever fishermen happened to be there.

Perch in the river, it was looking like I was going to miss out.

Hell, I even missed Connie, the 40 something slightly overweight waitress that everyone sexually harasses constantly, which doesn't matter since she gives it right back to the guys. That is not like being some elected official or corporate head, Connie is a waitress, a REAL woman, dealing with REAL men. I like going down there, those are mostly big strong guys, all of them in a dangerous profession. They spend their lives pulling Crab pots, nets, often in weather and waves larger than the boat they are on.

Wind howling, cold, working 16, 18 hours at a stretch, sometimes more. They all know that sometimes, they just might not get to go home. We lost one boat awhile ago, a half dozen good men on board. That was even on TV, that show about Crab fishermen. I knew some of those guys. So, none of them worry much about light hearted banter with a waitress.

Teasing some waitress that is every bit as tough as they are is just a way of letting off steam. Besides, Connie's husband is the Captain of one of the big Crab boats, close to 240 pounds and well known to be on the mean side if crossed. Wise ass banter is all in good fun, touch Connie and you might find yourself Crab bait on the next trip.

For some reason I fit right in, part of that being my wife Debra runs the area medical clinic and she has the respect of all of them. At one time or another, Debra has had their dicks in her hands, or a finger up their ass.

Her job is to try and keep them strong and healthy, way it is.

Yeah, I was missing the hell out of my normal life.

+++

"It's going to be awhile, with your leg up like that, we don't dare have you up and around. Plus both wrists, I hope you learned your lesson about that damned motorcycle." She slipped that last in there, I could see she was itching to give me the "I told you so!" bit.

"What, a week? Maybe 10 days?" I asked.

"At your age, honey, you body heals rather slow. Probably longer, plus we are going to need a nurse for you when you do come home."

"Hopefully a cute one?" I wisecracked, managing to stifle a chuckle because I had already found out that doing that hurts. Yeah, ribs bruised too.

"I will see what I can do." Debs laughed, she leaned down and kissed me, then headed off to do her rounds. More patients than just me in this hospital, I guess.

Ten days became 5 weeks, then another two weeks of working to get my legs going again. One complication was due to an accident I had decades ago, I was in a wheelchair for nearly two long years. Yep, spinal problem and the same damn leg, that time it took me forever to relearn to walk.

At least this time I could feel that leg. I was also up and walking long before anyone expected. I had already been through this, so I was an expert.

+++

At around two weeks or so of lying there in that hospital bed, Debs came in, she pulled the drape around us. Let's just say she knows me and some things need to be taken care of.

I got one of her glorious combination blow job and hand jobs, having my physician wife do that would almost be worth getting hurt. Being a Physician, she knows exactly what and how to do that. Nothing underneath her smock, either. There never is.

Sure, we are older, but we are also extremely active, likely more so than most couples half our ages. During my flat on my back stage in the hospital, Debra took care of me several times. I wanted to help her out right back but I had casts on both wrists, no way in hell could I do anything.

The other nurses, they all knew very well what was going on, things happen in hospitals. It even got quiet out there.

A few times I got bed baths, of course. The one nurse named Martha (I am sure they all use fake names) was matronly and no nonsense, she washed my balls, my butt, skinned back my foreskin and washed there too, all matter of fact with no reaction on her part even when she got one out of me.

The one named Katrina came in and did the job, I think she enjoyed that because she always took her time when things began to grow. I know Katrina got me to leaking pretty good, and she had a big smile on her face as she used a soft cloth to wipe that up.

There was a candy striper named Tammy that came by after about 3 weeks. I hadn't seen her before, Martha was with her. They rolled me back and forth, by then my leg was out of the sling but still in a cast. The two of them then gave me a rubdown, back, legs, butt, the works. Martha was training Tammy, I guess, because after that, Tammy came in by herself and rubbed me down each night.

Bed sores is the concern there.

Debs arrived one evening as Tammy was working on me, we were all chatting away as Tammy worked. Then Debs gave me a kiss, I noticed she had a grin on her face. I heard them murmuring outside for a few minutes, then it all got quiet.

That is one thing about being stuck in a hospital, you get to spend a lot of time all by yourself. Then a few hours later, Tammy came in. She pulled the drapes. I had already had the bed bath, and the rubdown to help stop any sore spots earlier, so I had no idea what was up.

"Your wife asked me if I would help make you more comfortable." Tammy said, I saw she had a mild blush on her face.

Now knowing my wife very well, I got that.

"I see." I said, having a pretty good idea of what was coming.

So, I lay there as this rather cute young candy striper did her level best to give me a hand finish while pretending to wash me. It was amateurish, interesting, but she managed to do it. Amazing, the second time this happened to me in less than a couple of months. Stephanie, the nurse at the clinic helped during my physical exam from my new Physician, Leann Conners. . Now I have known Stephanie for maybe a decade, that was the first time for anything like that with her.

Surprise to me, I am rather certain that my wife Debra is involved in that somewhere. In fact, I am sure of that.

"Have you ever done that before?" I asked her as she was wiping me up. The pretense was pretty much out the window.

"Yes, with.. you know, a couple of boyfriends." She admitted, her face flaming.

"My wife told you to, didn't she?"

"She said it was up to me."

"My wife is naughty." I laughed. Tammy just grinned, covered me up and left.

+++

After nearly a decade with what I suspect is the most uninhibited female on planet Earth, I have to say I was not all that surprised. Now some will say that stuff like this never happens in the medical profession, but I know for a fact it does. Way back, during my own Medicare physical, I was surprised when my Doctor asked for a urine, stool, and sperm sample.

Here I was, 65 years old, and no Doctor ever wanted me to supply a sperm sample.

Two things I learned that day. Yes, in certain situations, a patient just might find themselves assisted. The other thing, a male does NOT need to be fully erect to supply the sample.

I suppose that anyone reading my tales might think it's all made up, and I admit some of it is. But, getting surprised by an older nurse "assisting" in giving a sperm sample during my Medicare physical happened. Then, when I went for a colonoscopy up in Portland some years back, I got surprised by a tiny little black nurse who saw to it that things didn't come up during the procedure.

Debra had nothing to do with that, she was a couple of thousand miles away in school at the time.

Then, I posted a tale the other day, sort of out of sequence but I can type again a little bit so I wrote that one, about it happening again when Nurse Stephanie "helped" me.

Then, Tammy? Just the one time, my wife Debra had something to do with that, plus the situation with Stephanie.

Now Debra and I have massage therapists over, regular as clockwork although we are in a long dry spell in finding any of the more uninhibited ones. So, it really is no big deal to her, and to be frank, I happen to know that stuff like this turns my wife on, if any of her reactions are a sign.

+++

I was out in the garage, sorting out my fishing tackle. The box usually ends up in a mess, bits of line with sinkers, hooks get wadded up with other hooks, usually when fishing I am always trying different tackle setups so the box becomes a mess. Plus, hooks rust, so I have to sort things out.

Debra came out, wanting to know if I wanted to have a massage this weekend.

"Sure, fine. Did you find someone new?" I asked.

"Yes, remember Tammy from the hospital?" Debra grinned.

"Yep. Sure do."

"That's who is coming over."

I laughed.

"Fine with me."

"Great. I will set it up. Catch us some fish for dinner, OK?" Debs gave me a kiss.

I hopped in my truck, headed for the jetty. Usually I walk, it's only a few blocks, but my leg is still not 100%.

I figured it out. My Debs has been looking for someone to come to the house, massages roughly twice a month is part of our lifestyle, have been for close to ten years. But, those come and go, they move away, they get married, things happen.

We have been in a long dry spell. Sure, there is close to a dozen pros in our area, good at their jobs but one thing is clear, there is NO hanky panky of any kind with any of them.

We are naughty, we both LIKE the hanky panky.

+++

I put a sand shrimp on my hook, tossed it out past this big rock I know about. There is a huge hole under it, if I get it just right the bait drops down another six feet or so, and the bite is instant. Get it wrong, I get hung up and have to tie on another hook.

I got it right, managed to worry a 15" long Greenling out of there. That is dinner, neat. An hour later, I had four of them, enough. Mixed in there was a half dozen of those ugly Bullheads, those I toss back. I cooked and ate one of those once, or I should say, took one bite.

Yep. I toss those back.

On the way back to my truck, I was thinking.

Tammy, huh? I had been thinking it might be Stephanie, the nurse from the clinic, since I had a pretty good idea what my naughty wife Debra had been up to. She loves her massages too, so getting one for both of us works just fine. Now I don't mind doing that for her myself, plus vice versa. But, different hands is nice, too.

Tammy is young, and on the cute side, and the way her face pinked up after taking care of things was delightful. Something to look forward to. I realized I was humming as I climbed into my big old Dodge Ram.

No one would ever believe what my wife and my sex life is like.

"Sexuality is just a part of life!" I have heard Debra say literally dozens of times. She spends a lot of effort seeing to it that I am well taken care of, and in the process, herself. Knowing me very well, it is always females, since I admit to being a bit homophobic. Debra I know doesn't mind either way, so the only time she ever gets touched by any male is with Jack and Terry down in Reno. Of course, that is both of us at the same time.

Yes, Jack and Terry are totally uninhibited, it's great.

I was healing up, life was getting back to normal. Yep, humming to myself. Bag full of fresh fish for dinner, Sun shining, Tammy coming over to give us both rubdowns, what's not to like?