Soap On A Rope - The Aftermath

I smiled at her and continued.

"So are you and the Thorkster planning on turning me into a cuckold wimp? It's gonna be hard to show proper respect to a guy I could beat up with one hand tied behind my back, but for you I'll try my best."

That earned me a hard punch to the ribs.

"Quit the bullshitting! I'm REALLY not in the mood right now. And stop at the pharmacy when we pass the mall."

I got worried for real.

"You still feel sick honey?"

Marie inhaled deeply.

"The idiot came inside me Dave. He fucking came inside me! Not the complete load, but I could feel his cock spasming a few times before I got him off me. I need one of those 'regret pills' a.s.a.p."

I couldn't agree more. The Thorkster was a creature that should have been culled from the gene pool long ago, and any woman helping him procreate ought to be tried for crimes against humanity.

****

When we finally arrived home Marie immediately headed for the bathroom. Before I caught up to her she was already naked and had just started running a bath.

"That can wait honey. I need to see you in the living room."

She put her shampoo, a washcloth and Soap on a Rope on the table next to the tub.

"I need a bath Dave. Lets talk later, ok?"

I leaned over her and turned off the water. Then I looked her in the eyes with a serious expression.

"Living room! Now!"

I was ready to grab her and carry her if I had to, but she complied without further protests and followed me with a worried expression on her face. I sat down in the couch and moved her in front of me.

"Stand right there," I commanded.

I did a quick visual inspection of her pussy, but from a standing position I saw nothing out of the ordinary. Her bright orange bush looked perfectly normal. Then I ran a finger along her slit and let it sink inside. Ok, now there was no doubt. This pussy had definitely been fucked recently. I drove my finger all the way inside her warm wetness and massaged the front wall of her vagina while keeping my thumb on her clitoris.

Marie started breathing heavy and closed her eyes.

"You're one sick bastard Dave, but please don't stop."

I smiled and used my other hand to open my pants and let out my steel-hard cock. Marie was now gyrating on my finger, totally absorbed in the act of getting ready for a massive g-spot orgasm. I could feel the sleeve of my pirate shirt becoming soaked with her juices as they seeped out of her and ran down my arm.

"Oh yes... oh yes... oh yes..." she moaned as I felt her squeeze my finger with her pussy muscles. That was the signal telling me that she was less than a few seconds away from climaxing. The signal I had been waiting for.

With a swift move I jerked my finger out of her pussy and pulled her down on my cock. Her own weight pushed me all the way inside almost touching her cervix and I proceeded to grab a nipple with each hand and rolled them between two fingers. My action obviously took her completely by surprise. She had worked herself up to orgasming on a finger but suddenly found herself penetrated by a thick hard cock.

That sent her over the edge like Evel Knievel at Grand Canyon and made her give me the lap dance of the century. She screamed and gyrated so violently I had to grab her waist in order to keep her in place on my cock. It took her almost a minute to come back down from her rocket ride of pleasure.

"Wow Dave, still shaking here. I can't believe you just did that."

I felt a familiar warm throbbing in my abdomen.

"Well honey," I rasped. "Better get ready cause I'm about to do some more right now."

And with those words I let it go.

All my pent-up sexual energy accumulated from watching the Thorkster bang my wife was unleashed through my cock and I roared out my pleasure while my entire stomach started pumping.

I heard Marie yelling in the background.

"Dave! I can feel it! I can fucking feel it! OH SHIT!"

... and then she came again like a waterfall all over my cock. It was effing spectacular I tell you. Almost better than Vegas. Maybe it was the pirate outfit that did it. Dave Sparrow was obviously a skilled lover as well as a fierce fighter. YARR!

Afterwards I just sat there for a while, enjoying having my naked and sweaty wife close. But when my cock finally fell out of her pussy it was like draining a sink so I figured I'd better save our couch from embarrassing stains. I carried Marie to the bathroom and ran her a bubble bath. She leaned back in the hot water and sighed from delight.

"Dave. I love you so fucking much, you know."

"Hah! I bet you say the same thing to the Thorkster."

Knowing Marie I immediately dived for the door and the Soap-on-a-Rope that came flying like a missile missed me by several inches. She continued to yell at me as I walked away.

"You mention that asshole again and I'll fucking castrate you in your sleep with a dull knife. I'll rip your kidneys out through your ass and make you wear them as earmuffs. I'll kick your stinking worthless balls so hard they can taste your sperm on the International Space Station. I'll... I'll..."

My bitch-wife was back. Goody. I'd had enough mushy stuff for one day.

****

I was still curious though. I know things were unusual at that party because we all wore pirate costumes and half-masks, but how the hell could Marie mistake the Thorkster for me? We weren't even of the same build, I bet he didn't smell like me or kiss like me and he most definitely didn't fuck like me. I mean seriously; Marie and I had been together for sixteen friggin years! I pretty much knew every single freckle on her body and she had a shitload of them.

I HAD to know, and there was only one way of finding out. So the next day at breakfast I asked the only person who might be able to provide the answer; Marie.

"I know you don't like to discuss this honey, but I've gotta know: How the hell could you confuse the Thorkster with me?"

"I'm really sorry hon," she replied. "Thinking back I can hardly believe it myself, but I had no reason to assume it wasn't you. He was wearing the same costume, was about the same height and when he grabbed me and pulled my pants down I said 'Dave' and he nodded..."

"Everybody was dressed as a pirate. That was the friggin theme." I countered.

"Most were generic pirates Dave, but Jarrod was in a complete Jack Sparrow outfit, just like yours. In fact, I think you guys were the only ones who put that much effort into your costumes."

"Ok, I kinda see your point," I admitted. "But what about when he fucked you?"

Marie's face reddened a little.

"Listen Dave. All you men are so hung up on how very special your cocks are, but the sad truth is that unless there is a significant size difference they all feel pretty much the same when they're inside you. And of course it didn't help my perception skills that I had a few drinks earlier. It's the man that makes the cock; not the other way around."

"So it wasn't the Thorkster's cock, but his great qualities as a man that made you enjoy fucking him? Is that what you're saying?"

"Come on Dave! Of course not! The guy has the personality of a bedbug."

"Ok, whatever you say love." I said with a sad and thoughtful expression like a little freezing puppy in th rain.

We sat in silence for a while; I maintained the lost puppy look. Marie frowned at me.

"You are planning on milking this for every drop, aren't you Dave?"

"Yes honey," I smirked.

"Are you ever going to let me live it down?"

"Probably not," I said smiling and kissed her tenderly on the nose.

"I'll be off for work honey. You behave yourself, ok? No more secret lovers. Be warned that I reserve the right to search the closets when I come home. I'll probably look under the bed as well."

Marie glared at me with a look that could make plants wither while I walked out the door humming:

"Marie and the Thorkster sitting in a tree

K – I – S – S – I – N - G

First comes love

Then comes marriage

Then comes the Thorkster with the baby carriage"

As I reached my car I heard a loud crashing noise from inside the house.

"Was it the mug or the plate?" I wondered.

I was betting on the mug.

****

My workday started out pretty mellow. Sandra, my ever efficient secretary, and I went over the latest projects and at lunchtime we were satisfied that everything was on track. So it was in high spirits we entered the cafeteria where I almost bumped into Jarrod Thorkelson on his way out.

The Thorkster must have had a good day, because he seemed positively giddy.

"Hi Sandra; wassup Dave..." he greeted.

Then he added with a badly camouflaged smirk, "Please say hi to our little ginger vixen from me."

I turned to Sandra.

"Go get us a table Sandy; I'll be right there."

I put a hand on the Thorksters shoulder and walked him firmly back outside, out of earshot of anybody else. I kept a smile on my face so any on-lookers would assume that we were simply two colleagues talking shop.

"Listen carefully Jarrod cause I'm not gonna say it again. Your ability to have sex in the future could depend on you understanding what I'm saying to you. Are you listening?"

He nodded, looking more surprised than scared.

"You seem to labor under the impression that you conquered my wife or some shit like that. But I know you're lying. I know for a fact that you tricked your way into her pants, getting as close as possible to raping her without actually doing it."

"Oh yeah? Well she was wet and willing and she gave it up voluntarily Dave. She couldn't wait for me to fuck her. I've never raped a bitch in my life."

"I know it wasn't real rape and that's why you're still breathing. However I also know for certain that you tricked her. I'm no fool Jarrod; I'm aware of the possibility that Marie could decide to leave me some day if she fall in love with another man. Hopefully she won't but there are no guarantees in life. If you want a guarantee, buy a fucking toaster. But I can guarantee one thing: She would NEVER choose a pathetic looser like you over me."

"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?" Jerrod snapped.

"I'm Dave, and I'm giving you your one and only warning. You took a chance and got away with it, good for you, but don't push your luck asshole. If I hear ANY gossip or see ANY people looking at Marie or me in a weird way, I'll know whom to blame. And I can be one vengeful son of a bitch Jarrod."

Still smiling I loosened my grip and he backed away a few steps. The distance fueled his bravado.

"You try anything and I'll have the cops on your ass right away. But don't worry; my cock will be ready to entertain your redheaded slut while you're in prison."

I couldn't help laughing.

"If I'm in prison and Marie finds out that you helped put me there you'd better run Jarrod. Run like your ass is on fire. Oh, she'll entertain herself with your cock alright, but she'll cut it off first."

The Thorkster glared at me defiantly for a few seconds before walking off with angry steps. I had hoped a threat would suffice, but unfortunately the guy was even more stupid than I had suspected. I guess I would have to make him suffer. The only sin worse than fucking my wife is fucking my wife AND giving me attitude afterwards.

****

The workload picked up after lunch and dark had fallen before I made it home after a long day. On the way I started sensing a creeping uneasiness and as I turned down my street the eerie feeling was almost palpable. Marie never replied to my text about being late, and that wasn't like her. Not like her at all. Something wasn't quite right. I was sure of it.

That's when I spotted the strange car in our driveway.

Some European tin can, a BMW by the looks of it, and it was parked in my spot! What the fuck? Unless the driver of the Beemer was a representative from the State Lottery coming to inform us that we had won the main price, somebody's ass was going to be in the ringer very shortly.

I parked at the curb, apologized profusely to my poor car for the indignity and walked slowly up to the house. The door opened on silent hinges, thanks to my OCD when it comes to squeaky noises around the house, and I tiptoed to the living room. Through the door I heard voices; one was Marie and the other was male. They were clearly engaged in some sort of activity, the nature of which I couldn't identify by hearing alone.

The male voice didn't sound familiar, but then again I don't socialize with Beamer owners. What can I say? I'm a classy guy.

Well, time for action.

I yanked the door open and was going to say with a loud voice, "Who the hell put that piece of Euro-junk in my spot?"

But when I saw Marie sitting in one of the easy chairs hooked up to a lot of wires and hoses, I momentarily lost my ability for coherent speech. What the fuck was going on here?

"Oh hi honey," she smiled. "You're just in time. Allow me to introduce you to doctor Benton Burke; member of the American Polygraph Union and one of the states leading experts in his field."

A man who had been sitting in the other easy chair got up and shook my hand.

The guy looked like a TV doctor or the hero in a courtroom drama and practically oozed credibility. I had no problem at all believing that he was the expert he claimed to be. But I did have a problem with him hooking my wife up to his weird Electro Stim contraption, and I told him so much.

He looked questioning at Marie who smiled reassuringly at me.

"Please don't be angry with doctor Burke honey. He is here at my request. I hired him to verify my truthfulness, and coincidentally we just finished calibrating the equipment. Ask me something easily verifiable."

"Do we have three kids?" I complied.

"Yes."

"The probability of the subject being truthful is better than ninety-one percent within an error margin of..." Burke began.

"Doctor?" I interrupted. "A simple true or false will suffice, please. I will accept your personal assessment of the accuracy based on your qualifications, so there is no need to record them every time."

"Ok, it's true then," Burke said stiffly.

I turned back to Marie.

"Are their names Huey, Louie and Dewey?"

"Yes," Marie said.

"False," Burke countered.

Marie smiled again and handed me a piece of paper.

"Please check this, and if you're satisfied with the wording of the questions hand the paper to doctor Burke."

I glanced through the text and raised my eyebrows.

"Fuck Marie. I can't believe you're doing this. It's not necessary; honestly. I've never doubted you and I'm not angry. Not at you anyway. I was just bullshitting."

"With the intention of rubbing the Thorkster in my face for the next two years whenever you don't get your way, right?"

"Well, kinda... yeah... that too," I smiled sheepishly. "Can't blame a guy for seizing an opportunity, right?"

"Not gonna fly any longer Dave. Get ready for the complete and undiluted truth about the incident. And after this, I don't want to hear a word about the Thorkster ever again."

"Come on honey; allow a man to gloat a little. Think about the trauma I suffered watching my unfaithful wife having hot and dirty sex with another guy right in front of me. I might never fully recover."

"Oh I know all about your 'trauma' Dave. I rode it to orgasm after we returned home, remember?"

Uh oh, busted! I wisely remained quiet while Marie made the last preparations.

"Shall we begin gentlemen? Please read the questions doctor."

"Did you intend to be unfaithful to Dave?" he began.

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Do you love Dave completely and exclusively?"

"Yes."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

Then we got to the more spicy questions. I watched Marie carefully, but she appeared completely relaxed.

"Were you aware at the time that the person you had sexual intercourse with wasn't Dave?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Would you ever have wanted to have sexual intercourse with Jarrod Thorkelson?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Will you ever have sexual intercourse with Jarrod Thorkelson again?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Do you have any feelings for Jarrod Thorkelson apart from loathing and disgust?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Will you ever have sexual intercourse with any man other than Dave?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Have you ever considered leaving Dave?"

"No."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Do you plan on staying married to Dave for the rest of your life?"

"Yes."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

"Does Dave satisfy you in bed?"

"Yes."

"The answer is true," said doctor Burke.

Marie looked at me triumphantly.

"Are you satisfied Dave?"

"I can't believe you did this," I mumbled, still baffled. "A friggin home polygraph test! I didn't even know that shit existed."

"Well, I assume this took care of all your little manly insecurities," she said, and started disconnecting the wires.

"Stop!" I barked.

Marie sat back down and gave me a puzzled look.

"We're not quite done yet honey," I informed her. "That was YOUR ten questions. But now I would like to ask an equal number of my own, if you don't mind."

I could tell she was getting ready to put up a fight, so I quickly added:

"... unless of course you're too chicken to deal with questions that you haven't pre-cooked in advance."

She was positively glaring at me now. I decided to push a little harder and gave her a dose of my best chicken imitation.

"Cluck... cluck... cluck... "

"All right. ALL RIGHT! Gimme your goddamned questions!" she sneered.

"Excellent honey. Ready for round two doctor Burke?"

"You may proceed at will Mr. Connor."

I cleared my throat and began the interrogation.

"Honey, did you borrow a screwdriver from my toolbox two weeks ago and left it outside to be run over by the lawnmower?"

"Huh? What? I'm not responsible for your goddamned tools."

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

"Well?" I looked at her questioning.

"Ok, it was me. I forgot it," she admitted. "Sorry. I'll buy you a new one."

"No problem honey. Nothing a good blowjob won't fix," I smiled.

"Do you like riding in my car?"

"No! I wish you'd sell that rolling midlife crisis."

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

"Interesting indeed. So would you like to have sex in the car sometime?"

"NO!"

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

"Well well my beloved wife. I think we need to go cruising the neighborhood in the very near future," I said with a cheesy smile. "Panties optional of course."

"That's IT!" Marie snapped. "I'm NOT answering any more stupid questions about your goddanmed gas-guzzling planet-killing waste-of-money shit car! Get to the point or we end this now! Capiche?"

"As you wish; new subject. Did you enjoy fucking the Thorkster?"

"No, of course not!"

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

"That's an unfair question! I thought he was you Dave. It was like fucking you by proxy. He would never have gotten within six feed of me without mask and costume."

"Did you orgasm more than once while fucking the Thorkster.

"No!"

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

"COME ON! It's a goddamned mechanical process.," she pleaded. "If somebody keeps pounding you long enough, you're gonna orgasm whether you like it or not. That's not something you can control. I couldn't help it. It doesn't mean it felt good or anything."

"If you say so honey," I smiled and asked:"

"Did orgasming with the Thorkster feel good?"

"No."

"The answer is false," said doctor Burke.

I could tell that Marie was getting desperate.