Socks and Stockings Ch. 06

"No, not at all. This is Dr. Gunter Hitzig, a sex-therapist and psychologist. He is consulting for a few weeks and taking some notes for some research he's doing back in Germany."

"How interesting," I said, smiling. I looked Dr. Hitzig directly in the eye as I'd done with the last two people but he didn't flinch. Something jumped deep inside me and I found my body was heating. Maybe I sensed someone who would challenge my new-found power.

"It is vonderful to meet you," he said in a deep, velvety voice. In a few great strides, he crossed the room and extended his massive hand. I placed my tiny one inside of it. Instead of shaking it he kissed my knuckles.

"You'll have to forgive Dr. Hitzig, he likes old customs," Dr. Morgan said, not looking up from his clipboard.

"Something we have in common," I said, chuckling. It was completely unlike me to flirt, but in this super-Eve mode, I couldn't stop myself from saying exactly what was on my mind.

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in just a moment. Have you had a good day so far?"
"Wonderful," I remarked, looking at the German doctor again.

Dr. Morgan turned away from what he was doing, picking up a clipboard and approaching the couch, upon which I was sitting with my legs crossed. He sat in his chair and Dr. Hitzig sat in a chair beside him.

"I've discovered something new," I began, without waiting for his questions. Dr. Morgan's eyes darted up from the paper holding his attention.

"My husband confessed to me that he likes role reversal." I said matter-of-factly.

"Hm. Well, role-reversal is something that some men enjoy," the doctor said, sitting back in his chair. "Sometimes they arise out of gender confusion, insecurity. These are all issues with which most people grapple. Some people just deal with them in different ways."

"He cross-dresses," I said.

"How does that make you feel?" he asked, scribbling something.

"At first it made me feel nervous. Now it doesn't so much. I finally feel like he's being honest. For the first time ever."

"I can tell by the way that you're carrying yourself that you feel different. It is as if you feel... what's the word, I'm looking for?"

"Powerful," interjected Dr. Hitzig. "You exude an aura of strength. I may not have known you before, but I can sense instinctively that you were powerful before this event, even though you might not have had the chance to express it."

"So now that you're empowered sexually, do you feel as though the conflict has resolved itself? Do you think things will improve?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to understand, a little more, the psychology of what he's thinking and what type of role I'm assuming. I don't know anything about role-reversal. I know he wants to be told what to do... but I'm not sure why." I felt suddenly disarmed by my ignorance.

"Well, as I said before, men do it for different reasons. Boys are conditioned to be as masculine as possible. Oftentimes, men aren't allowed to express femininity without being labeled homosexual. They appear weak or soft. They aren't allowed to cry. For at least a little during role-reversal, they can let go of their masculine burdens."

"Don't they understand that women have burdens too? Sometimes moreso than men?" I asked.

"Role-reversal allows them to pretend they understand. On top of all this, men know that women can influence others sexually and men covet that power. Engaging in role-reversal allows them to dabble in it."

"He was wearing my panties," I said, flatly.

"That's just another way they express their femininity. Keep in mind that when a superhero like Batman or Superman puts on his superhero costume, it's to conceal their everyday identity but it also helps represent their powers. Without their costumes, they appear to be just like everybody else. The clothes help them feel the power more distinctly. It helps them actualize the feelings they feel and distinguishes them from others. This display is actually common and occurs all over the place. Even your father or brother might be secret cross-dressers. I wouldn't let it worry you. Use it to your advantage. If it gets him off, let me him wear panties."

"Well, it's not just that. He... likes to be punished for it," I said, scratching the back of my head. I hoped I wasn't crossing a border. Dr. Morgan smiled and stood, then walked to his desk.

"Dr. Hitzig is an authority on this subject. You're lucky he's here," after shuffling with some papers on his desk, he came back with a book.

"On male cross-dressing?" I couldn't suppress the look of surprise on my face as I received the book.

"No, no," said the foreign doctor with a chuckle.

"The Mind of the Submissive," I read aloud.

"This refers to de submissive role in a Dominant / submissive relationship. I've done thorough rezearch of de lifestyle over a period of ten years. This has some qvuite revealing facts and studies. I vill give it to you gratis, if you promise to tell me vhat you think of it aftervard," the handsome German doctor said.

"Okay," I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

I left with some fresh perspective and a new book. I couldn't help but feel like I was already in over my head, but my power returned. 'But maybe,' I thought, 'power is really just courage under a cape...'

I devoured the book over the next few days and what I learned opened my eyes. I'd been seeing our whole relationship wrong. While relationships were about equality they were also about movement. Perfect equality is stagnance personified. Things needed to be tipped in one direction or another once in a while. It was true that he'd hidden an important part of himself from me for a while, but now all was out in the open. After I closed the book, I couldn't believe how little I'd known... how little I'd allowed myself to feel just because I'd allowed society to dictateto me foryearswhat was "normal". Well no more. I had always had the power, now it was exposed, raw and real. The days of the questioning, unsure woman I'd been were gone.

"Long live the Queen!"