Something Lasting Ch. 02

2

CHARLES

Shade was already at my door by the time I got home. I shook my head when I saw him, smiling a little.

"Desperate for an escape?" I asked.

"Yeah." He stepped aside and I unlocked the door and we entered. "Dad started ranting about Race."

"You know, you could move out of your parents' place."

"Can't. Saving up."

I looked at him as I hung my coat in the closet. "Why not? You make enough."

He worked for his father as a paralegal. It was something his parents had tried to foist upon his brother, but Race had instead gone to a four-year university for a business degree.

"I asked Letty to marry me."

I did a double take and Shade held out his coat. "What?"

"I asked Letty to marry me."

I took his coat from him. "And she said yes?"

He grinned. "Yep."

"Congratulations! Your parents know, of course."

He nodded again. I hung his coat up.

"I told them before I asked her. They're all for it; they adore her, thank God."

That made me chuckle and I made sure the front door was locked before leading the way deeper into my apartment. Shade followed me to the kitchen and we got sodas and popped up some popcorn, then went out to the living room to put a movie in. I let him choose. We slouched into my sofa and chatted over the movie while munching the popcorn, and I got up to pop up a fresh bag.

My phone rang while the new bag was in the microwave, and I eyed the number which had appeared. Race's. It had been a few days since the party, and I wasn't sure I could trust him to have gotten back to his senses. Besides, it wasn't a common thing for him to call me without reason, and I couldn't think of any reasons for him to call me now. He'd already apologized for being an ass, and he'd already thanked me for hosting him.

But curiosity got the better of me.

"Hey, Race."

"Hi, Chaz."

The conversation stopped there, and I listened to him breathing for a few seconds.

"Is there a reason why you called?" I looked at the bag of popcorn, but it was only halfway inflated. "You need anything?"

"Uh, no, I don't need anything."

"Then why did you call?" I shook the bowl to loosen stuck-in kernels and dumped them with a few taps of the bowl against the edge of the garbage can.

He sighed. "Okay, you'll probably think I'm coming onto you, but I'm not. I'd just like to get together with you to hang out or something."

I set the bowl on the counter. The pops in the microwave came at a fast pace, matching the beat of my heart. "Hang out?" The suggestion disappointed me, but I'd known better than to hope. I wasn't his type.

"Yeah. It occurred to me we've always kind of gotten along and maybe I've been kind of blind to the fact that you're actually a pretty good friend already."

I winced a little at the word "friend" and didn't reply right away. After a second, I realized the pops from the microwave had slowed, so I took the bag out and cleared the remaining time from the clock.

"Chaz?"

"Um, oh, yeah, sure, we could get together," I said, speaking without thinking things through. The moment the words left my lips, I flinched, regretting them. Just great. I looked around the kitchen and saw the calendar on the pantry door. I'd marked off Wednesday. "Do you have Wednesday night off?"

"Tomorrow night?"

"Yeah." I gazed at the note I'd made in Wednesday's block.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because you could meet me at Memorial Park and we could go to the Midwinter Play at the amphitheatre there."

Silence. I waited, wondering why Shade hadn't said anything about how long it was taking me in here. Maybe he'd heard me talking on my phone. I just hoped he hadn't heard exactly what I was saying.

"Okay. What time?"

I sighed with relief. For a minute, I'd thought Race would think it a stupid idea to go to the Midwinter Play. "What time are you off work?" I had the whole day off and didn't have to be in at work until the afternoon on the following day.

"Three."

"Okay, then let's meet at five at the concessions stand. Play starts at seven. We can get something to eat at the concessions stand before then." I spoke quickly, half afraid he'd rescind his agreement to go if I gave him a chance to interrupt me.

"Okay. Five at the concessions stand. Got it. Okay, I have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded, closing my eyes as my heart sped up again. "Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

I put my phone away and looked around, but nothing looked different. My heart kept its fast pace as I opened the bag of popcorn and dumped the contents into the bowl, then I took it back out to the living room.

"Who was that on the phone?" Shade asked.

I privately wondered if he'd heard any of the conversation clearly but didn't ask if he had. "Your brother." I sounded mystified because I was.

Shade started the movie and took the bowl of popcorn from me to dig in. "Oh, what did he want?"

I looked at him. He hadn't sounded really very curious, and that made me suspicious. "He wanted to hang out with me."

He didn't glance at me. "So, you going to?"

"Shade, did you put him up to this?"

Now he looked at me, and I could see uncertainty on his face. "No." I held his gaze, and he averted his and sighed. "Okay, maybe I suggested he should at least befriend you."

I groaned. "Why?" I wasn't really angry at him, but it would have been nice if he'd warned me he was going to so I could have prepared myself for it. Now I was committed to an event I wasn't sure I wanted to really participate in despite the fact I was more than a little excited at the prospect of spending time with Race.

Shade set the bowl on the table and picked up his soda. "For a couple of reasons, okay?"

"And they are?"

He heaved a great sigh. "Well, I think you're not giving each other a chance, and you both deserve chances with each other. I think if you do give him a chance, Race will see you as more than a friend and my best friend, and I think if he gives you a chance you can at least bring some happiness back into his life. I saw him Saturday night, Chaz, and he when he met Letty and I, he was smiling. Over something you'd said to him. He hasn't smiled like that in years, and he was more relaxed and cheerful the whole time he was with us. I think you're good for him."

I gazed at the TV, not really seeing the picture as I listened to Shade's explanation. When he finished, he slumped back against the sofa.

"I could leave if you're angry."

I shook my head. "I'm not angry." And I wasn't. A little irritated, yes, but not angry. "You could have warned me."

"I didn't know I'd get a chance to push Race any."

"You could have called after the fact!"

"I'm sorry!" He sat up. "I'm sorry, Chaz. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, an opportunity I didn't expect to get."

I glared at him for a moment, then grabbed a handful of popcorn. "I would have just liked to have been a little more prepared. His request caught me off guard."

"Would you have refused if you'd been prepared?"

I nodded. "Yes. It's bad enough being infatuated at a distance. I'll probably make some stupid mistake when we're together tomorrow night." I threw myself back into the sofa and sullenly munched the popcorn I'd grabbed. Apparently, things besides parental nagging could devolve one's maturity level.

"Sorry."

I shook my head. "Mostly my own mouth running off without my input."

"Are you going to call him back and say you can't do it?"

"No." I sounded sullen again and tried to push it away with a deep breath and a slow sigh.

"What about after? You going to refuse to see him again?"

That was a good question. The sensible part of my mind said I should. The other half, the excitable half, gleefully latched onto the idea of encouraging more contact with Race. I groaned and dropped my head onto the top of my sofa's back.

"You don't know."

"No, I don't." I raised my head and finished the popcorn in my hand. "I suppose it depends on how well I think things go tomorrow night. If I don't throw myself at your brother like some desperate fool, if he doesn't try and come on to me again."

"He came on to you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He wanted an ego boost."

Shade sighed and nodded. "That's Race. He's always been like that after a breakup. If I'd known him and Clarence had broken up, I wouldn't have let you drive him home."

I waved that away. "Not your fault. Neither of us knew. Anyway, he apologized."

"He's good about that."

I sipped my soda and took the bowl of popcorn off the table. "We going to watch this movie?"

"Oh, yeah, right."

We did watch it―for about five minutes―then we started talking once more, but Shade didn't bring up his brother again. That was one of the things I liked about him. He didn't harp on things after I'd decided that a change of subject was in order.

*

RACE

I saw Chaz before I reached the area in front of the amphitheatre. He was pacing back and forth along the path which crossed in front of the plaza, under one of the lights, which was a good thing. His black corduroy coat and his jeans or slacks made him into a silhouette under the light and the only reason I recognized him at all was because of his hair. He called it auburn, but it was very nearly the color of the leaves which turned red in autumn. Close enough it could have been the same, especially under the path's lamp.

I stopped walking for a moment and just watched him. He seemed to be focused on watching his feet, so he didn't see me. I wasn't sure he could have even if he'd looked up as I'd made sure to stop between pools of light. A part of me wasn't sure this thing I'd suggested was wise, not after the way he'd shot me down last weekend. He'd been right. I'd been looking for an ego boost, and I still wanted one. It wasn't the depressing need it had been that night, but it was still there, and I didn't want to ruin this, especially not after the warning my brother had left on my voicemail. He'd told me if I screwed this friendship-with-Chaz thing up he'd never speak to me again, and he'd sounded grim enough I couldn't help but believe it was a promise he'd keep. If he hadn't been the only member of my family whom I wanted to associate with, I would have called Chaz and backed out of this.

Taking a deep breath of the cold air to fortify myself, I headed for Chaz. He happened to be pacing away from me, so I did my best to scuff the soles of my shoes on the path, but he didn't seem to notice. I cleared my throat.

"Chaz."

He turned around but didn't approach. He looked, for lack of a better word, wary. Well, I couldn't really blame him, not after the way I'd behaved this past weekend with him. Why he'd even agreed to meet me like this―suggested this, in fact―was beyond me. He regarded me for a minute, then slowly came over, still wary. After getting within a comfortable distance for conversation, while still at a wary distance, he spoke.

"Behave yourself."

I nodded. "I'll do my best."

"Have you eaten?"

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry, though." My stomach had spent the day being too knotted for me to get much more than a bowl of mushy corn flakes into it this morning. "You?"

"Had a very late lunch." He took the final two strides to me and hooked one of my arms with his hand to turn me around, then grasped my other arm. "Come on, let's walk."

I nodded. It was a reasonable suggestion and offered some distraction in case we didn't chat. And we didn't, not at first. Chaz kept pace with me, hands in the pockets of his coat, and it took me a few minutes to realize he'd matched his pace to mine. I slowed my stride, he followed suit. I slowed further, so did he, still matching his movements with mine, so I sped up. He did, too. I kept speeding up, altering my paces to try and make him lose pace with me, but he matched me quickly each time.

"Stop that," I said with a chuckle.

"No."

I glanced at him. He grinned at me. I shook my head and sped up further. He kept pace with me, still matching his movements to mine. I finally started trotting, and he matched that. Giving up, I stopped and just laughed. He grinned at me.

I averted my gaze, looking around. "Where the hell are we?"

"On a branch off the main path to the theatre."

I sighed and punched my pockets, then looked at the ground. Neither of us spoke for a minute, then we both started speaking at the same time.

"Sorry, you go," I said.

"No, you."

I regarded Chaz. He wore a small smile and looked ready to argue me into it.

"Shade told me not to ruin this."

Chaz nodded, looking away, and sighed. "He told me he thinks we'll be good for each other."

I lowered my gaze. "You sound like you're not sure about it."

"Honestly, Race, I'm not. I can't see what real good I'll get out of befriending you like this."

When I raised my head, I found him frowning at me. He looked wary again. And a little irritated. It was an expression which encouraged me to promise to do whatever it took to deserve his friendship, but the truth was, I wasn't sure what I'd get out of this, either. A part of me urged to dump this and go home, pick up the pieces of my life, and try and find the lasting relationship I wanted with someone else. The rest . . . well, the rest consisted of an odd determination to stick this out and see if maybe Shade had been right, try to find out if maybe, just maybe, I needed to start looking at character instead of outward appearance.

"I'm not sure, either," I said.

For some reason, my reply made Chaz smile a little. He turned to face the way we'd come and I walked with him. We didn't walk very fast, more a very leisurely stroll. Snow began to fall, and it pricked my face with pinpoints of cold. I tightened my fists in my pockets, resisting the urge to wipe at the cold pinpoints.

Chaz had apparently been paying attention to our path, because he brought us back to the main one to the amphitheatre. We didn't encounter anyone else until we reached the courtyard in front of the theatre, and he led the way to the concessions stand. He held the door open for me, and I stepped into the warmth and stopped a couple paces within. Chaz entered behind me, gently pushing me forward.

A line stretched along the front of the ice cream bar. The combined scents of ice cream cones, cotton candy, and popcorn, mixed liberally with chocolate and cider made my stomach lurch and I swallowed what rose to the back of my tongue. I briefly considered turning around and leaving, then Chaz stepped around me to head to the end of the line. I forced myself to follow him.

We shuffled our way to the head of the line, me pinching my nose to try and escape the scents which were making me feel sick. It would have worked if the flavors in the air hadn't induced a worse reaction. Still, I somehow managed to reach the front of the line and requested a hot cider. That seemed safe enough. As soon as I had it, I headed for the door, passing Chaz, who'd stopped a few paces away.

"Wait," he said.

I slowed a little, reached the door and pushed it open, then held it while he followed me out. As soon as he'd exited, I crossed the courtyard to join the line for the ticket booth, which took me out of the immediate vicinity of the scents from the concessions stand. My stomach unclenched a bit and I inhaled a deep breath, relieved to be free of feeling sick.

"You okay, Race?"

I nodded in response to Chaz's question. It was either that or confess I'd been half ready to dump my guts on his feet inside the concessions stand. I felt a little lightheaded now and rubbed my face to try and banish the feeling.

"You sure?"

I nodded again. "Yeah. I'm fine."

This bit of conversation got me to the front of the line and I took out my wallet. Minimum donation was one dollar, but I passed a five between the bars and accepted my ticket. Our walk away from here and back had taken just enough time that things were really starting to set up for the play, so I stepped aside, waited for Chaz to get his ticket, and then led the way to the nearest entrance into the seating area. The employee at the head of the stairs checked my ticket, passed it back, and held out a cushion which I accepted before descending a few stairs and stepping out of the way of others entering the theatre. Chaz joined me a few seconds later.

"Where do you want to sit?"

He looked around a little. "As close to the front as possible."

I nodded and we left the bench we stood on to descend further. We ended up on the third bench from the ground floor, which had been blocked off by removable rails so the lights in the front of the bench's riser could illuminate the stage. Torches, flames flickering in the darkness, had been inserted at the ends of the benches, and Chaz tapped me with his cushion until I reached the other end of our bench. I set my cushion down and dropped onto it, then sipped my cider, which had cooled somewhat.

People packed the lower tiers of seating. The doors in the wall backing the stage opened, and chatter ceased. Actors poured out of the doorway, beginning the Midwinter Play.

Chaz leaned against me, and I turned my head to find his face very near my own. "They always do a musical on Midwinter Night."

I nodded, not knowing if he expected a reply. He sat up and faced the stage. I gazed at him for a few seconds, then turned my attention to the play.

It was, to say the least, a new experience. It wasn't that I hadn't been to plays here before―I'd come quite frequently with my family as a child―but I'd never been to a Midwinter Play. It was quickly obvious they did things differently for this play when the actors pulled people out of the stands to dance with them. The rest of the audience clapped to the beat of the songs until they ended. After the first song, the actors climbed into the seating to draw others down, and once Chaz pushed my back when an actress grabbed my hands to pull me down. I went, not wanting to upset him, and she sang as we danced.

"Have fun?" Chaz asked upon my return.

Still a little out of breath, I nodded. "Yeah." I even smiled, because I had had fun.

The next time a song began, someone drew him down onto the stage, and I watched him spin around with her. He smiled the moment she came to fetch him, and the smile never left his face the whole time he was down there. When he returned, he was laughing breathlessly and dropped onto his cushion with a grin. It made me smile to see him so entertained and happy, and I returned my gaze to the stage so he wouldn't see me smiling. It seemed somehow wrong for him to know that seeing him happy had made me a little happier.

After the play, we waited while most of the seating cleared out, then climbed with the last few people to hand our cushions back. I checked my watch to discover it was just past ten, which meant I'd missed the next to last bus, which meant I wouldn't be able to take public transit home. The bus I needed to transfer to would be on its last run by the time it got to the stop I needed to be at in half an hour.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

I looked at Chaz. He smiled a little. After a minute, I nodded, chewing my tongue. I already wanted to invite him into my place but knew damn well it would ruin things.

"Hungry yet?" he asked as we headed for the parking lot where he'd parked. "I could go for something now."

I nodded, though I wasn't sure I could actually eat yet. My stomach did feel calmer, however. "Yeah."

We didn't speak again until he pulled out onto the road, and then it was only so Chaz could ask if I cared where we went. When I said I didn't, he chose for us and pulled into the parking lot of a Patty Palace. I got out with him and we entered, then took our time making our selections. Actually, I think he knew what he wanted right away, but he waited for me to consider what I wanted. I let him take the place in front of me and fretted the whole time in line, worried I'd blurt out the wrong thing once we sat down and really started to chat.