Sophia Pt. 04

Don finally returned from his distracting phone call with Megan only to find that his date was gone, the table had been cleared, and there was apparently no explanation. He asked at other tables, but no one had an explanation for Anna's disappearance, just that she suddenly got up and left. Almost all the remaining patrons in the Bistro this evening were plants, and they were all following the script that Freddie and Helga had prepared when speaking to Don. The wait staff at the café were overworked already and were kept busy by a sudden influx of orders at the tables furthest from Don's old table.

Three strikes and you're out,Don thought.It was probably for the best, because there always seemed to be something slightly off about her, but it is quite a blow to the old ego. Two girls I go out with leave me during the date, and one just blows me off with a lame excuse. Guess I should plan on being single for the rest of my life.

Don left deciding that he was not even going to bother with trying to call Anna. She had his number if she wanted to call him.

Meanwhile, Q programmed Don's cell phone to refuse all calls from Anna's cell, home and work phone numbers.

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This time only Vanessa accompanied us on our trip to the mountains. It was a lot like our weekend with Freddie, except that my girls were thrilled to be able to use their new saddles and I learned to walk and even trot with Joe, just a little. Then, of course, there was the giant Nerf gun battle that lasted from very early on Sunday morning, with everybody but me in their pajamas, until almost the time we had to leave.

I suggested to Maria at about ten in the morning that it was time to stop, as I was under the mistaken impression that she wanted to do some more riding that day. She shot me!

I was the only one awake on the ride home. I had to really wonder how long they had been playing.

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We ladies all woke up very early Sunday morning in the movie room, and went into the kitchen to sneak a piece of THE PIE. Somehow during our snack, the Nerf gun battles we had been having lately came up in conversation and Vanessa expressed some interest in seeing our arsenal. I'm not sure who fired the first shot, but eventually we decided that Don had been sleeping long enough.I didn't know that he sleeps with a Nerf gun under his pillow, the sneak!

During the weekend Don talked to me briefly about another date that he went on last Thursday. Evidently he wasn't sure about the girl in the first place, but the way she ditched him seems similar to what Eva did to him.

Don told me that the woman was an acquaintance of Freddie's who needed some website development done; evidently she knew Freddie back during her modeling days. He explained how, while things didn't feel quite right about the woman, he agreed to go on a date with her because he needed the experience. I remember thinking thatI'll give you all the experience you'll ever need, buster!He was pretty beat up about it, but I just couldn't find it in me to cheer him up too much about a failed date when I was happy that it failed. While I was relieved that it ended in disaster, I was also beginning to wonder if my friendsweredoing something to sabotage Don's dates, but I was too afraid to ask. If they were, I would have a hard time keeping it a secret from Don. Too many people have kept secrets from him and, while I'm keeping my own past a secret from him for little while longer, it ismypast. I don't think I could keep it a secret if I found out others were messing with his life, even if it were for my benefit.

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Don and I had been coordinating things all week long regarding Megan's upcoming birthday party. We had to keep Robin out of the loop, though, because she has such a hard time keeping secrets from her older sister.

On Wednesday night Megan had cautiously asked what were going to be doing special next week, and Don had said, "Well Honey your birthday is on Tuesday, so I figured, that since it is a school night, we would have a little party here Wednesday night next week."

Don is a wicked man! You could just see Megan deflate, and I had to back him up so I just nodded sagely and said, "That makes sense, since itisa school night." Robin was astonished at my reply and did her best to cheer up her sister; it was so sweet, while Megan did her best to hide her disappointment.

Then when we left for the mountains the next weekend, it was just the four of us, and Don made sure that all the Nerf guns were left home, complaining that things had gotten out of control last weekend. Up until that point I think Megan was having some secret hope that we were planning a surprise party. I could see how she had to visibly pick herself back up after we crushed her hopes. I felt completely miserable setting her up like this.

Once we arrived at our mountain home, Megan was so depressed that she even went to bed early, followed by Robin, instead of watching a movie with me.If this doesn't work out right, I'm going to kill Don!

The next morning, I told my babies to get up. They were visibly dragging and Robin was even acting more depressed than Megan. Here we had taken her out to a very expensive restaurant in a chauffeured limousine and now apparently we were blowing off her sister's birthday.

My babies could barely eat any of their breakfast, and I felt so bad for them that I couldn't eat anything either. Don on the other hand was shoveling food in his mouth like it was coal and he was an old fashioned steamship. He even winked at me when the girls weren't looking.What a wicked man, would he play the same type of tricks on me when we get married? Hold it, I like that thought, but I truly hope that it will be more than wishful thinking.

We walked out to the garage to get in my SUV and instead of hitting the garage door opener; I hit the overhead light switch.

"SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!" Everybody screamed out.

Standing there were, Vanessa, Freddie, Kathy, Carl, Lucille and Nancy. I reached behind a tool box and picked up my new Nerf gun ala Helga. It didn't look like much, but it was sweet. Megan turned to look at me and I said, with an evil grin on my face,

"Do ya feel lucky, punk?"

Robin looked even happier than her sister, if such a thing were possible! On tables set up in the garage were all their personal Nerf weaponry; our friends had picked them up at Don's apartment early this morning on their way here. On other tables was a larger assortment of Nerf guns for all our other guests. Sitting on the table with Megan's guns was a large wrapped box. I nodded at the box to direct Megan's attention.

"You'll get the rest of your presents later, but we thought you might need that one this morning."

She ran over to open it and you could tell that she was a little disappointed. It was nowhere near as cool looking as the gun that I had gotten Robin.

"Megan, let me explain, that gun was invented by Freddie's sister Helga, just like she invented Robin's gun. She calls it Nerf Storm and says that she got the idea from a real gun system called MetalStorm."

"This gun I'm holding and yours are identical. Instead of loading a magazine in the gun, you change out the big barrel, which is actually a bundle of seven smaller barrels that you preload. One shot is actually seven Nerf darts. The gun barrels hold six shots each, so seven darts times six shots is forty-two darts." I pointed the gun at Don. "Now you can just shoot off one shot," and I shot Don once with seven darts; he fell over theatrically, "or you can shoot off all forty-two darts in less than two seconds." I slid the selector switch to the end and shot Don's 'corpse' with the remaining thirty five darts.

Suddenly Megan's eye lit up and she started ripping at the remaining packaging around her own gun. "Helga gave you four large spare barrels, and you can change them real fast." I showed Megan all she needed to know to work her gun. Then the Battle Royale commenced! Carl had been sure to set up Lucille with one of those belt fed Nerf guns and she took a positive delight in shooting people.

We never did go horseback riding that day.

At lunch time a temporary cease fire was declared while Don, Carl and Lucille made lunch. After lunch we tried playing outside for awhile, but we were losing too many darts so we had to take it back inside. One must keep one's priorities straight, right?

For dinner we had Dungeness crab, an old favorite, and Don made a huge CAKE as the birthday cake. He had to be declared a noncombatant during the afternoon in order to be able to make it.

As was the case with Robin, Megan got the usual gifts and, as with Robin, she got a platinum locket from me. It was slightly different, but a similar inscription and an identical photo. I had hoped that she wouldn't be unhappy with an almost identical gift as Robin, and I was relieved that she seemed to be overjoyed.

We had another great movie night, too. Don had made THREE of THE PIES for us. He and Carl stayed in the kitchen until three AM keeping us supplied, while playing gin and drinking beer. We even managed to get in some horseback riding the next day before heading home.

For dinner that night Don made his custom burgers and fries, and for dessert we had THE CHEESECAKE.

There was one troubling thing that happened that weekend. Lucille made it a point to talk to me about Don and his problems with dating. Evidently Don had drunk a little too much Saturday night and let a couple things slip to Carl that he in turn had passed along to his wife. She sat me down and quietly told me, "Maria, I love you like one of my own daughters, but that poor man thinks that he is going to be single for the rest of his life. You told me some of his history so I know why he doesn't confess his love to you, but you don't have the same excuse." Then she got very sexually explicit in what I should do. I had to wonder if she ever spoke with her real daughters like that?

I now knew I was out of time if I wanted Donald, and I DID! I had to make my move.

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I didn't even really like the woman, but here I was all depressed because of my third rejection.I don't think I can handle it anymore. This getting chiseled and having practice dates nonsense, it ain't working for me. None of my three real dates lasted more than a half hour, and one of them got canceled before it started! I think it's time that I stopped my undorking lessons. Hmmm, I've got a little bit of money; maybe I should start thinking about one of those mail order brides, I don't want to grow old alone. Find a woman so desperate that she would go out with a dork like me. I'm not saying that some people don't find true love that way. But it is awfully scary and I won't know my intended bride's true feelings for a long time, plus then how would my daughters and my friends react?Those were my thoughts as I dragged my ass up to my front door Wednesday evening.

Okay, Don it's showtime, your babies are home and Maria wants to have another birthday party for Megan the day after her real birthday. She promised she would make lasagna with all the trimmings, so put a smile on your face and make it a happy day for the three of them.

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Don was coming through the front door. Tonight was the night; it was time to start operation "Get Don, Marry Don!"Come here little birdy, the kitty is hungry.

Just for a change I made a Black Forest cake for tonight's dessert. Robin and Maria had been oohing and ahhing over it, and it had been necessary to chase them out of the kitchen. I had made them a vegetable and cheese plate for an after school snack, but they hadn't seemed too happy with it. Well, tough, it was time that they ate something a little bit healthier. There would be plenty of grease, melted cheese, fat and sweets with dinner.

"Welcome home, Don. How was your day?"

"It was fine, but I'm beginning to wonder if I can't spend my time more profitably. Richard and I've been talking about my programs and tweaking them a bit. He's now using them himself and he's been encouraging me to be more aggressive in my own trading practices. If I do that, though, I will need to more closely monitor the markets as well as to just be more available to make decisions. He's certain that I would make more money that way than with my current job, but I like being conservative in my investments. That's something I just have to think about, I guess. Boy, whatever you're cooking smells wonderful, and you lookgorgeous."

I had to do a mental double take as he changed topics so swiftly, but it was about time that he noticed the smells and my new wardrobe. I had bought it especially for him the other day; it could be best described as a demure housewife in lust outfit. I couldn't cross any lines because of the presence of Megan and Robin, but I could imply a whole bunch of things with my new clothes.

Dinner went off perfectly and then we presented Megan with a couple more small presents. I gave her a pair of earrings and Don gave her some gift certificates for the local mega-mall.

We went downstairs for our dance lessons and as usual the girls got bored and headed upstairs first, exactly according to my plan. When they left I set up Moon River to play repeatedly in the CD player.

"Don, I've been thinking. I'm the only one that you haven't been on a practice date with yet. I was wondering if you would like to go out dancing with me this Thursday?"

"Maria, I've been thinking about that too. You're a wonderful person and I would love to go out with you, but after what happened with me and those three other woman I'm beginning to wonder if I can ever be attractive to any woman."

"Oh Don, don't think that way!"Oh shit, please don't think that way. I'm certain that my friends have been messing with your dates and I know at least ten other women who have met you casually that are drooling at the thought of you being available, but you're just too blind to see. I've got to boost your spirits like Lucille warned me I'd have to do."Please, Don, I know that there is someone out there for you, just give me a chance, okay?"

"Anything for you Maria, you know that. I might not be the best company, though - will that be okay?"

"That's fine, Don, I know we'll have a wonderful time. What can you make me for dinner?"Damn it! Just like Pavlov's dogs again, I can't seem to help myself. I'm probably going to have to bring this up with my therapist, too!

Don looked at me and started to roar with laughter. He couldn't stop. He had to back out of my arms and was half bent over with his hands on his knees. He just kept laughing. He would calm down for a bit, take one look at my face and start laughing again.Ididn't think it was that funny!

What I should have done was just spend the entire day at Don's apartment and maybe cookhimdinner. However, I wanted the entire 'practice date' treatment that everybody else had gotten. I wanted to show up at his apartment door looking my best. I wanted the polite kiss at the door,but an impolite kiss would be better.I wanted Don to cook me dinner and I wanted to drive him to the club in my brand new car. AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING TO GET!

I arrived promptly at six o'clock, wearing a short green silk dress that showed plenty of cleavage, and I had on the jewelry that Don had bought me. I wanted Don's tongue on the floor and I wanted him leave puddles of drool when he followed me around. I had been very careful in what I requested Don to prepare for me this evening, too. I didn't want something too greasy because then he would answer the door in his 'cooking clothes' and I wanted him looking his best when he opened the door. I got my wish.

He answered the door in the body hugging white silk dress shirt that I had bought for him, the blue-gray silk tie that so beautifully matched his eyes and the gray pants from his suit.Whoa, Momma, I'm going to be late coming home tonight!We just stared at one another for the longest time and then his lips started to form those words from that damn song again.I'M GOING TO PUT A HIT OUT ON JOE COCKER!I stopped him the only way I could - by giving him a kiss on the lips. It wasn't too long, but it wasn't short enough to be called polite, either, and there was definitely no tongue action; well maybe I licked his lips just a little, but it was by accident, I swear.

I pulled back from Don and his eyes were sort of glazed over, and he just stood there staring blankly into space for a few seconds. After a moment he finally said something, "Wow", but it was long and drawn out like a steam engine letting off pressure. Am I good or what? One of these days, Don, I'm going to show you just how good I can really be!

I wanted to take him by the tie and lead him into his apartment and then into his bedroom, but that would really be rushing things for a first date. Don might be thinking of this as just another foolish practice date, but I sure as hell wasn't. Today was opening day of hunting season, I had my prey selected, and there was no way that he was slipping away this time.

"Don, aren't you going to ask me inside?" I asked sweetly.

"Huh, what, uh, maybe, of course, uh, I'm sorry, I was uh, just thinking about work for the moment and got confused."Yeah, sure you did, heh, heh, heh.

"Please come in, Maria, WOW, you lookgreat." Yep, his tongue is hanging out. I hope he has plenty of paper towels to clean up the drool.

"Is dinner ready yet, Don?"

"It will be in ten minutes, I didn't want to risk it getting cold."

"Wonderful," and I walked over to his stereo system to put in a Eurythmics CD; I thought the music appropriate for my feelings and for the evening. I wanted Don, and while I wasn't quite ready to flat out say it, I would do my damnedest to communicate it in every other fashion that I could think of!

Don served a wonderful dinner. It wasn't his normal calorie laden fare, but something healthy that he could prepare without getting messy. He had made baked salmon, baked potatoes, asparagus and THE PIE for dessert. He had had to make THE PIE last night after I placed my order. I thought he would have to chain Robin and Megan to their beds, and I almost had to bring out Roscoe to defend it. Megan was thrilled that I was finally going on a date with her father, but Robin didn't know it was for real yet, so she was a little more ambivalent.

After dinner we both carefully brushed our teeth before leaving. Going on a date with a big hunk of asparagus stuck between your teeth is a definite turn off!

We left the apartment and I led Don to my new car. He was surprised; it was a Lexus IS F, in mercury metallic, kind of a silvery white.

"What happened to your SUV?"

"Oh, I still have it, but I like something with a little more performance. I really wanted a Mercedes, but they don't make a four passenger roadster and this was the closest I could find for now." He gallantly opened my car door for me and I carelessly showed him a bit too much leg when I sat down in the driver's seat.Oh my, how clumsy of me, heh, heh, heh. Come here pretty birdy, I just want to take a little bite.I didn't look at Don, but I could hear him take a deep breath and let it out with a whoosh.

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I'm going FUCKING NUTS! I know this is just a practice date, I know that Maria isn't attracted to me, but damn! How much is a fella supposed to take before he goes off the deep end? I feel like Bluto after Popeye hits him with a spinach powered punch.I was afraid of getting in that car and going on a date with Maria because I didn't know if I could control myself. On the other hand there was NO WAY IN HELL that Iwasn'tgetting in that car. It would take the 82nd airborne to stop me!