Space Relations Pt. 03

Impatiently, Washington asked, "Would you care to tell the rest of us why you kept us waiting, and why it took you so long to get to the command center?"

"I apologize for taking so long, captain, but I had to get something done first." Cruz admitted. "I might not have had the time to do it later."

"And what exactly did you do?" This ought to be good, Washington thought.

"I went into everybody's room and I lay down in their bunks." Cruz nodded. "At least one minute in each one, except for Mary's. I stayed five minutes in that one, and then I had to change her bed sheets."

Washington's brow furrowed in misunderstanding. "Why would you do that?"

"Well, just the thought of her makes me randy, sir."

Mary giggled merrily and elbowed the man in the side. "Ditto!"

Washington shook his head. "No, what I meant was, why would you feel the need to lie down in everyone's bunk?"

"Oh, let me explain." Cruz said. "Undoubtedly, someone on the Neptune will ask me if I'm currently in a relationship with anyone on board the Space Relations. They might ask me if I'm involved with Mary for example, and I'd reply that I have on occasion lain on her bed. If they ask me if I'm involved with Margo, I can reply the same thing."

The captain considered this. "But you just said that you lay down in everybody's bunk. That implies that you lay down on my bunk, and in the rest of the men's bunks as well."

"It will deepen the mystery, sir." Cruz nodded. "The women on the Neptune will be thrown off-balance. They'll be flocking toward me not knowing what to expect, while at the same time they'll be curious to find out what I'm all about. It'll create quite a buzz all over the ship. Trust me, I've done a maneuver like this before and it has gotten me excellent results. In fact, I suggest that you allow some of the other crew members to participate in this experiment as well."

"Hmm." Washington rubbed his chin. He turned to scan the faces of the rest of his crew. "Would anyone else care to participate?"

"Oh, I'll go!" Cummings jumped to his feet. "But do I have to lie down on the men's beds, too?"

"If you'd like both the men and the women of the Neptune to think of you as some sort of Mega-Stud," Cruz replied. "I'd certainly recommend it."

Margo crossed her thick arms. "I'd like to lie down on two specific bunks, Mary's and Willow's."

Ensign Smith turned and stared in horror at the smirking and unapologetic lesbian.

"That would almost assuredly backfire on you, Margo." Cruz shook his head. "Since you're already the dominating type, revealing such a thing to hateful carpet-munchers such as yourself would only create an unnecessary resentment toward Mary or Willow. You will create jealousy in the minds of any submissive women that might be interested in you otherwise."

The ship's chef threw up her arms. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Lie down only on the men's bunks." Cruz replied. "That way, you'll still be seen as a major player on board this ship, but you'll also be seen as being available to others of your detestable persuasion. And, nobody will be giving dirty looks to either Mary or Willow."

Margo thought this over. "In a weird way, that kind of makes sense."

"I don't want anybody lying down on my bunk!" Ensign Brukenfooken growled.

Washington noticed Mary's eyes shift to one side. He was certain that the psychic woman was reading the big combat technician's mind.

"I'd like to lie down on the captain's bunk." Ensign Smith revealed. Just as she voiced this, her cheeks started turning red.

The admission made Washington forget all about the enigma surrounding Brukenfooken, as he'd never even suspected that Willow might be attracted to him. She was always so quiet and reserved around him, and here she was, blushing over the thought of lying down on his bunk.

"Darling, you have to pick more than one bunk." Cruz looked hesitant to draw attention to Willow's feelings, and possibly leave the woman's sensibilities vulnerable to the others. "If you're looking to get laid on the Neptune, that is. If you give people the impression that you're in a monogamous relationship with the most powerful man on this vessel, then people won't bother with you at all. You would be much better off if you choose someone of your own rank."

"Oh." Willow looked thoughtful, but a moment later she perked up again. "Then I'll lie down on your bunk, and in Cummings' bunk too."

"Those are very good choices." Cruz commended her.

"I'll say." Cummings agreed.

"I said I don't want anybody lying down on my bunk!" Brukenfooken insisted.

"Well, nobody's going to, you big sourpuss." Margo growled back.

The two biggest frames on the ship stared at each other menacingly, until Brukenfooken finally broke the eye contact and revolved his chair toward his readouts.

Both Cruz and Washington deliberated whether to confront the big Viking and ask him exactly what his problem was.

"Just ignore him." Mary said, in a low voice. "For now."

Still, the captain felt he should say something, until he felt a gentle wave of reassurance sweep over him. He glanced at Mary, who quietly nodded that yes, she was sending that emotion toward him, and toward Cruz as well. Reluctantly, Washington allowed his concern to fade, and he left the subject behind. "Well, anybody who would like to participate in this experiment may do so in a few minutes. But first, I'd like to tell you the reason why I asked for Willow to call you to the hub in the first place. We'll be docked on the Starship Neptune for approximately two days Earth Standard, or forty-six hours. I would appreciate if all of you were on your best behavior while we interact with their crew. Please remember that any detrimental behavior on your part is going to reflect back on myself. Are we clear?"

Several heads nodded, and several mouths chorused, "Yes, sir."

"Then you may go ahead and play your little game of musical bunks." Washington dismissed the small group.

"Captain, you should come with us." Cruz invited him. "If you'd like to increase your chances of getting laid while you're on the Neptune."

"What makes you think that I can't get laid on my own?" Washington asked.

"Well, it's better if people have a clear idea of what you're up to, than to leave them with all sorts of questions and doubts to start rumors with." Cruz suggested.

"So, you're saying that I should go bunk-hopping with the rest of you?"

"No, no. Only one bunk for you, Captain."

This ought to be interesting, Washington thought as he crossed his arms. "And why should the captain of this vessel be limited to only one bunk, when the rest of you want to give Starship Neptune the impression that we're in here breeding like rabbits?"

"Because you represent the authority here, sir." Cruz explained. "If you were to go around saying that you're sleeping in everyone's bunk, it would automatically demean you in their eyes. You have to project being a pillar of stability and strength to any potential conquests. You have to wow them with your air of confidence and might."

"I suppose that I can follow that line of reasoning." Washington nodded. "Whose bunk do you suggest that I lie down on?"

Cruz turned to Mary for help. "Sweetheart, of all of us on the ship, who do you think needs a confidence boost the most?"

Mary tipped her head toward the brooding and oblivious Combat Tech, who had his brawny arms crossed and his back turned away from them.

"Are you out of your Zorg-infested mind?" Washington balked.

"It's in the name of science, baby." Cruz reminded him.

"Science, my ass!" Washington cried out. "What you just implied is preposterous!"

"Captain, we should get going." Mary suggested.

Washington caught the following words from her mind as well. I need to talk to you, away from Brukenfooken.

"Captain," The burly navigator reported. "Oxygen levels are now at an optimum level. We can disembark at your command."

Washington shook his head. "Let's get this over with."

He waved his crew toward the sliding doors.

Cruz took the lead. While most of the crew eagerly went with him, Mary hung back and paced the captain.

"What is the problem with Brukenfooken?" Washington asked. "I know, that you know, what I'm talking about."

"It's a... vulnerability, sir." Mary conceded. "He's not ready to talk about it yet, because it's very personal to him. It wouldn't be right if I just blurted it out to you. He'd be deeply hurt if he found out I told you."

"I see." Washington sighed, as he was no closer to learning the truth than before. "And do you agree with Cruz's bizarre assessment, that I should go and lie down on my combat technician's bunk, so that I can brag about it later?"

"Well, sure." Mary nodded. "I mean, just look at the guy; he's big and buff, and he looks like a Viking warrior. Who wouldn't want to say that was their partner in bed?"

"I'm not very comfortable with telling people that I'm sleeping with another man."

"Then don't." Mary shrugged. "But people will be talking a lot more about you. That is the whole point of the exercise, to get your name on everybody's lips. You know how fast rumors can spread in a confined working environment, right? Well, flying through space in a giant metal box is as confined as it gets."

"I'll, ah, I'll give the matter some thought."

"And unless you find someone really attractive in the lower ranks, I suggest you aim high." Mary added. "As high as you think you can get away with."

"Really?"

"Well, sure. How many crew members does the Neptune carry?"

"Around five hundred."

"And how many top level administrators are there on the ship?"

"Oh, I don't know. If I had to guess, I'd say somewhere between twenty-five and thirty."

"So, if your name was being passed around in conversations, who would you rather have passing it, the regular crew of the Neptune or the higher-ups? Which one would be more beneficial to your career?"

"I see your point."

"Lean down for me, captain."

Washington thought this an odd request, but he did it regardless.

Mary kissed him on the cheek. "That's for luck. And remember what I said; Aim high and you'll reach the stars."

"That's one of my favorite credos." Washington nodded and smiled. "I will aim high. Thank you, Mary."

The two hurried along to catch up with the others.