Space Relations Pt. 18

"I think they broke my penis."

"We'll get some kind of plaster cast for it." Barbie said. "Until it gets better. Maybe I'll torture you by fooling around with Willow again. All you'll be able to do is watch."

"You're an evil woman."

"Hey, I'm not the one that let four Wrinkles jump my bones."

"It wasn't four. It was like six, or sevenish. Maybe fifteen. I don't remember any more. I blacked out when I saw a great wall of boobs."

"I'm going to punch you in the stomach." Barbie menaced.

"You know, we should get some fresh air." Washington activated the flying chair, set it to hover about a foot from the ground, and floated away toward the elevator. As they waited for the next one to arrive, he asked, "Would you mind checking on what the others are doing?"

Barbie activated her wrist bracelet, which the captain had presented her with as a sort of consolation gift. "Calling all hands from the Space Relations, the captain wants a progress report."

"Cruz here. Mary and I are taking a breather, but we should both be breaking triple digits during our next round. Margo and Thor are in the mix right now. They're going strong, but we've got still Wrinkles lined up all over the place."

"Tell them about Thor." Mary's voice came through.

"Right. Thor said he wouldn't mind being in a sandwich between Barbie and Willow. As long as the captain approves it in writing beforehand and as long as Thor has assurances that he will still be able to keep his post afterward."

"Not about that, you goof. Tell the captain about his Jimmy!"

"Oh, that's what you meant. Yes, well, one of the women he's paired up with is a biological engineer. This woman has invited our man Thor to her laboratory. She seems to think he might have some sort of blockage which prevents his penis from pumping out the necessary blood and engorging his pecker into what it should be..."

"That's enough detail!" Washington complained.

"Well," Cruz finished off. "The short of it is that she might be able to help Thor achieve his true destiny as a man. Thor may indeed be wielding a mighty hammer in the very near future."

The elevator door opened. A very pretty young woman peered out at them.

"Captain Washington!" She squealed, as she rushed forward and hugged him.

"Uh, hello." The captain said, grimacing a little from his bruises. "I'm in a little pain here from, uh, recent battles."

The woman released him. "I'm sorry, captain."

"And who is this one?" Barbie asked.

"I don't know." Washington said. He peered close at the girl and at her pretty green eyes. "Lora, is that you? My, you look like a completely different woman! I seriously did not recognize you at first!"

Lora looked like she was a very sexy and buxom twenty-five years of age. "How do I look?"

"You look gorgeous now, which is not to say that you didn't look gorgeous before."

"Ahem." Barbie said.

"Of course," Washington replied. "My Barbie is the most gorgeous woman in the entire known universe."

"This is your wife?" Lora asked.

"I'm hoping that she will be pretty soon." Washington smiled. "But she's not my wife yet. I may be able to meet you in a discreet place later, provided this flying chair can outrun her."

Lora laughed.

"Say something like that again and I'm going to elbow you in the head." Barbie threatened.

"That's what I love about her." Washington grinned. "The violence she brings into our relationship."

Lora held her hand up, palm facing out. "Well, it is very nice to meet you, Barbie."

"Likewise." Barbie nodded.

"I must be getting on." Lora walked out of the elevator. "I have a few building programs to update. After that, I'll be heading out to one of the empty cities and updating everything out there, too."

"That sounds interesting." Washington said. "I've never been to a gigantic, empty city before."

"I'll take you." Lora decided. "And I'll take Barbie, too. I will communicate with you when I'm ready to leave."

"Thank you, Lora." Washington waved her off. "I'll see you soon."

The captain floated the chair into the elevator. Barbie followed him in.

Knowing some of the basics, Barbie waved her arm and closed the elevator door. "She's really cute."

"Oh, you can ogle her but I can't? That is so unfair, Barbie."

"You know the saying, life's a bitch and then you marry one." Barbie teased him, before she spoke into her comm bracelet. "Calling all Willows."

A moment later, the ensign checked in.

"What are you doing, babe?"

"Oh, I'm helping set up some streamers and things, for an upcoming wedding that's taking place soon."

"Gee, I wonder who's getting married?" Barbie asked. "Hey, Willow, has anybody been hitting on you?"

"Oh, lots of people." Willow replied. "Luckily, none of them have been old farts."

"All of them were old farts." Washington reminded her. "Not too long ago."

"Well, they don't look like old farts now." Willow replied. "Some of these guys are really hot. Do you know that when I ask them who made they young again, they always say Cruz or Mary? Those two people must have screwed like a hundred people on this planet."

"Cruz said they'd be hitting triple digits soon. So it's closer to two hundred." Washington said.

"They are so crazy!"

"We'll talk to you later, hon." Barbie said. "Watch your butt out there."

"Okay, I will. Bye!"

Barbie clicked off her bracelet. "Braxton didn't answer. I'll bet she's with her Mister Man again."

"You mean, Mister Gar, the planetary leader for the month."

"She should be ashamed of herself." Barbie said. "That man looks to be something like twelve years younger than her now."

"That man is a thousand years older than her." Washington corrected.

"Well, he sure doesn't look it!"

"True beauty is more than skin deep. Besides, they make a good couple."

"Yeah, I'll give them that much." Barbie agreed. She turned to the control panel. "Hello?"

"Hello." A man's voice answered. "Where can I take you?"

"What sounds good to you, captain?"

"How about a warm, tropical rain, and a wooden hut on stilts with a splendid view of sand and waves?"

"We have a floor that approximates that." The man's voice replied. "You'll be there shortly."

"Thank you, sir."

"Thank you as well, captain, for helping save our planet."

Barbie reached down onto the captain's groin and pinched his pecker.

"Ow!" Washington frowned. "What'd you do that for?"

"Oh, I'm just trying to see if that thing is really broken. You're going to be needing it in a few minutes."

"I think it's coming back to life. Pinch it again."

Barbie reached over.

"Hey! I was kidding! That hurt!"

The wedding was an extravagant and luxurious affair, taking place on a tall and wide mountain plateau. This lavishness wasn't entirely due to the beautiful scenery of the land below, with its tremendous density of deciduous trees, the great bustling swath of a river that fed them, or the abundant singing of the native birds that dotted and sometimes swirled the sky in vast groups. The site was also chosen because it was large enough to accommodate the population of the entire planet. This proved to be a wise decision, as the entire population did in fact show up.

Captain Tyrone Boom-Boom Washington stood proud and tall, his face beaming, and his body adorned with a royal blue tunic with splashes of gold and spots of colored glitter. At his side and holding his hand stood Barbara Bruxhall, the logistics officer of a tiny starship that didn't really need such a position, but welcomed her anyway. Barbie wore a dress colored in pleasant and cheery blues and greens in the style of a peacock. The fabric was light enough that it fluttered with the light breeze and clung to her heavenly proportions. His lover's contours nearly made the captain wish the ceremony were over, so he could take the woman somewhere quiet and ravage her once again.

"It is customary on our world to choose a second wife," Gar explained in a loud voice. His loudness was wholly unnecessary, as the edge of his tunic was equipped with a small microphone that helped to broadcast the man's words all across the plateau. "In the case that the first wife is unable to bear children or should a calamity occur. Have you a choice for a second wife, Captain Washington?"

"I have." The black man nodded.

At this, Willow Stevens, clad in a dress colored similar to that of Barbie's, but slightly less embellished, came forward and stood at Barbie's far side. Both women, it must be mentioned, wore soft veils that suppressed both their hair and their natural beauty.

Washington droned out a few of Gar's next sentences, as his thoughts centered on the word children. Many of the inhabitants of planet GB 1 had their DNA sufficiently recovered by then, enough that their sexual and reproductive organs were now fully functioning. There had been great fanfare only two days before, when the first official Wrinkle pregnancy had been announced. Soon, there would be children on that world again. (Of course, Officer Cruz had claimed to be the father of that child, and many more besides that one, but in that specific case DNA tests proved otherwise.) The population certainly couldn't be called Wrinkles anymore, either. Peaches, maybe, but not Wrinkles.

"Captain Washington," Gar motioned toward the two beautiful women standing beside the captain. "You may remove the veil from the women."

Washington stepped over before Willow first, as was customary. He was to pull back her veil and give her a kiss, before he moved on to his real prize.

"Don't even think about it." Barbie warned.

Worriedly, Washington glanced over. "I thought it was part of the ceremony?"

Instead of looking cross, Barbie was smiling at him. "I'm just kidding. Knock yourself out."

Before he could even turn back, Willow was already showering him with kisses.

"Oh, captain, I'm so happy for you." Willow smiled, once they'd taken a pause. "And for you and me, too."

"Thank you, Willow." Washington said, right before he fully drew her veil back to her shoulders and exposed her pretty face, as was the custom on that world.

"I'm your second wife now." Willow teased them both. "When you and Barbie get into a big fight, or when she can't satisfy you, you always can come over to my bed."

Washington turned toward Barbie, whom he'd expected to make some smart remark, but the woman remained strangely silent. "You don't have a problem with that?"

"I'm only marrying you to get to her." Barbie admitted. "I had it all planned out that way. Now, come over here and remove my dress."

Washington stepped before his new wife. "You mean, remove your veil?"

"Oh, this dress is coming off in a few minutes." Barbie replied. "Count on it. I guess you can start with my veil for now, considering the present company is the entire population of this planet."

Washington pulled the woman's shawl back. He kissed her, deeply and lovingly. At that moment, it could be said that this formerly angry black man was very much removed from that earlier state of crimson and violent emotion. In fact, it could be argued that Captain Tyrone Boom-Boom Washington, head of the SCS Space Relations, could at that specific moment be counted among the happiest men in the universe.

The End

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PS - The crew of the Space Relations makes a guest appearance in my holiday novella, A Corvus Turrim Christmas Carol.