Special Weapons and Tactics Ch. 01

About six months ago the veil started dropping from my eyes and it was like I saw John for the very first time in our whole married life as he really was. He repulsed me now in so many ways. And he no longer even bothered pretending he wanted to touch me. He MUST be screwing someone else - and I got a little obsessed about that. Was it an affair - with just one woman? Or just many women like Jack Carter once did? I knew about Jack and his own divorce from Connie, of course. They were both our friends once.

Of course Edith and Janice fanned these flames - and suggested I get myself back in my best sexy shape and put myself "out there" a little more. Because "you deserve so much more in a man than John. Someone like Dad or Todd. A man who can really take care of you in all ways, with new cars and a nice big house and maid service - and also put YOU first in his life. Not just second to some shitty job."

And I did that. Got back in shape. John never even seemed to notice. And I just kept getting more unhappy. I started thinking back to all those GREAT times I had in college, before shithead John reentered my life. I was happy then. I was ecstatic then and would give almost anything to feel like that once more. Maybe I needed just a little ecstasy again - and a strange big dick or two...

I started going out for dinner with Janice and some of her richer girlfriends about once a week. Just us girls - a break from the kids and husbands. Well, those of us still married. Generally one or two divorcees were included and they always wanted to eat some place that also had some dancing and singles action. Even Janice liked that idea. About four weeks ago Jack was at the club we were all at. Janice and her friend Vicky were already dancing with some guys who had asked them. I had been asked but was playing it coy. Jack came up to our table and after a little smalltalk asked me to dance, and I decided to accept. He was a handsome man, even out of uniform. In good shape and very strong like John, but sweeter, somehow. Also more "dangerous" since I knew he screwed around on Connie.

It was a really nice feeling being in his arms while we slow danced - and I even felt a little stirring in his loins. I liked that too and I thought maybe I could trust him, or at least control him, good enough for what I wanted.

"I'm having some issues with John..." I started out.

"Sorry to hear that." Naturally.

"We haven't been happy together for a long time...and he never touches me anymore."

"Oh, gee."

"I...used to be pretty wild back in college. You probably think this is terrible of me, now a wife and mother - but I was wondering if I could trust you?"

"Absolutely," he replied rather passionately.

Yep. He wants in my pants. Good - maybe he will get there and maybe not, we'll see.

"I just feel like taking a little ecstasy again - know where I might safely and discreetly find some?"

He smiled kind of triumphantly.

"Ecstasy? in my pants, honey," he just said, and I blushed and started acting all insulted.

And he laughed and said "my pants pocket, sweetheart - that's all I meant." And he casually handed me the pill acting like he was just tenderly touching my open hand for a moment. And I casually swallowed it down and took another big gulp of my margarita, fourth one of the night.

Jesus, I finally experienced a little feeling of joy again in my now dreary, dreary life. Jack and I danced some more and I purposefully tilted my hips, my mound, into his cock and massaged it pretty good. Jack wanted some private time with me now, and I decided I did too, but only to a point. Janice had driven but was now busy dancing with the same guy for quite a while. I just told her Jack was going to drive me home and she smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I could read her mind - Jack wasn't marriage material but good enough as a toy and to really get over John and then dump him, finally. Maybe, I thought as well.

In the car we just petted pretty heavily. He kissed very enthusiastically and mauled my breasts. He finger fucked me and I FINALLY had some actual response down there and my juices flowing again. It wasn't quite orgasmic but good enough layered on top the ecstasy effect. He pulled his cock out of his unzipped pants and it was nice and hard - maybe a little longer than John's but not as thick. I made him come with my hand - and then insisted he drive me home. I kissed him long and deep while he parked right in my driveway and actually hoped John might notice, the dickwad.

After a few minutes of this I went on inside. It was about midnight and everyone was pretty much sound asleep, of course. Even John. I was still feeling pretty good and I was "hot and bothered". Well, fuck John the husband and provider, but he DID have a pretty nice dick, and I wanted it right now, probably for the last time. I pulled the covers back and just caught him with a sleep hardon. Maybe he was dreaming about one of his bimbos but I could care less - thinking about Jack's cock and when I WOULD let him put that in my pussy. It was on with Jack now and it was going to happen. I started sucking John's cock and needed him to wake up. I even slapped his face a little TO wake him up, and when he started mumbling finally I just said, "shut up and fuck me."

And I climbed on and went at it. I still had my party dress on and probably smelled like Jack's cologne. My panties were off - and actually in Jack's car as a souvenir for him. I pulled the top of my dress down to free my breasts and placed one over John's mouth and kind of hissed "Suck it!"

And he did. Then he did the other one and was squeezing them rather hard. He was starting to get a tad frantic since it was literally months since we had had sex - though I was absolutely convinced he was getting his rocks off elsewhere - with someone else. At that thought I leaned down more and started kissing him, deepthroating him with my tongue and thinking in triumph, "you asshole - you're actually practically kissing Jack! The man who really turned me on tonight, you little nothing."

And that's when I really started coming, over and over for a long timeless interval - and he finally grunted and filled me to overflowing as well. Almost like he hadn't had any sex at all with anyone for months...

About a week later I was out with "the girls" again while clueless John watched our kids. I didn't even much like my own KIDS anymore and that as much as anything made me feel like crying, day in and day out. And I blamed that on John as well. It was all his fault - all my misery. Damn him to hell.

I had traded texts with Jack after our session last week - and he knew where we were going to be tonight. Janice was driving again and two other and different girls were joining us. They wouldn't notice Jack as anything but just another guy trying to hit on us - on me. And Janice heartily approved of a "little on the side" for me. And by now I HAD figured out that's exactly what she was doing herself. After our dinner Jack appeared, and soon we were dancing again. It was so funny and typical. He was rock hard immediately. Yep - I knew he was thinking about last time and now drooling for more. I started telling him more how terrible life with John was, and had always been. How he just made me - and our kids - SO unhappy. I even hinted at physical abuse, at times. He ate it all up. He got red and looked madder about John than ME!

It was almost funny but now it was time for a little joy.

"You got it?" I shlyly asked.

"Yep, but I'm not giving you any unless we go somewhere private first."

Oh ho - a little blackmail pressure? I could play this game...

"Oh, Jack - don't be like that. Please. I AM still married, even though I don't feel like it anymore."

"Suzy, baby - I want to make you happy in every way. I don't want to just fuck you, I want to love you and MAKE love to you, properly. Not just making out in a car..."

"Where would we go?" shyly (HA!) again.

"Let's just go to my place. My apartment's not far."

"Maybe - but I can't stay all night and not even real late. 1AM at the latest until I walk in my own front door. Do you understand?"

"No - and yes. I'll do what you want, dear."

"OK - let's take it now, OK?"

"Right - I can't do fun drugs myself much, career wise. But I will tonight so we can really share this experience."

And we did, and I HAD HIM, I was thinking to myself. I went in the restroom before we left the club and took my panties and hose off. I then found Janice on the dance floor and said I was leaving with Jack again. She actually noticed my pantyhose was off me and just smirked and said "fuck his brains out, Sis. I'm going to fuck this guy senseless tonight." Wow, I had NOT guessed that before about my baby sister.

Jack discovered my pantieless pussy soon enough in the car - and even before the ecstasy hit I was feeling really, really good and fluid. As soon as we got in the apartment our clothes came off and Jack picked me up and carried me into his bedroom. He was between my legs slurping away when the ecstasy kicked in - and right then I had a screaming orgasm. Before it even ended Jack was in my cunt and pumping hard. And it all started again for me - ecstasy ecstasy but also sexual orgasmic ecstasy. He was in the thralls of the drug as well as the thralls of my wet and spasming pussy, and that feeling of almost unlimited energy and joy fueled our own abandonment to pure lust and now drove us for the next 3 hours. I didn't make it home till 2AM and still couldn't sleep, even then.

But as always John was sleeping like the dead and I didn't need him or his cock anymore either. I was satiated sexually but still felt strangely unfulfilled.

And the next morning I felt even more depressed and only the thought of the next time with sweet Jack made any of it bearable. I could also barely talk I was so hoarse from all the constant yelling I had done last night AND the two deepthroat suck-offs of Jack's cock I accomplished.

************

I caught Jack in the restroom and beat the crap out of him. He tried to defend himself but I had all the rage on my side. I tried real hard not to break anything important, job wise, but I think I probably did get his nose. After he woke up I told him, "You can do what you want with that crazy bitch, now - but I better never ever hear the slightest rumor it's being discussed in our locker room again. And if it EVER gets back to me you hurt my kids by word or deed - I will fucking put a bullet right between your eyes. You remember Haran in Iraq?" At that, he turned white. Message delivered. I had done it before.

So, Susan divorced me and Jack moved in with her. After a fairly lengthy CPS investigation I could finally see my kids again with only chaperoned visits first. Kimberley especially seemed to hate me now. She wouldn't hug me and only answered like her Mom would - basically in acid-filled tones of disgust. The smaller kids were a little happier - but almost acted scared of me. It didn't take a genius to figure out Mom AND Grandma Edith AND Janice were bad-mouthing me constantly - and some of it MUST be true because I had abandoned them. Maybe even my own Mom was on Susan's side.

My life was pretty much in purgatory right now - that gray nothingness between light and darkness, between happiness and utter despair. I sure as hell couldn't lose focus at work. Had to meet my child support payments plus I might just get killed or get some of my team killed if my mind ever wandered. I didn't have enough money to even consider dating someone else, nor even the energy or interest. Let's see, only 13 more years until little Abbie turned 18...I was sure by then none of my kids would ever even talk to me, so might as well look forward to the end of that pure financial burden. Thinking like this were the only times I cried a little, drank too much, and occasionally found myself staring at a 9mm bullet and my Glock out in my hand...

About a year into this so-called life was when I got shot. I was lead as always bursting into a commercial real estate office with an unknown number of perps and a multiple hostage situation. After all negotiations had failed, and every attempt at gathering 100% accurate intel, the exact number and location of the perps was still uncertain. The tear gas and flashbangs went off inside and the door was breached and I went in with shotgun at the tactical ready position.

Brandon and Jack were right behind me, I thought - but they somehow got hung up a tad. Then a perp appeared at my six and looked to have a gun pointed right at that back of my head. Brandon nailed him center target with his single ought buckshot load, right in his upper back. Autopsy showed one pellet severed his spinal cord just below his neck level and instantly paralyzed him - as well as killing him. So his trigger finger didn't even twitch.

But Jack's shot was way off target, only half hit the perp hip level and the rest hit me in my right upper leg and hip, below my vest. Broke my pelvic bone and thigh bone and all the pellets missed anything TOO vital - like my balls and penis. But a bone fragment did knick the femoral artery and I almost bled out right there. Only the fact fire and rescue paramedics were on sight and ready saved my life.

I was unconscious for about the next 48 hours, as two surgeries were performed on me.

When I finally half way regained consciousness, I had a strange dream Susan was in the room with me kind of crying and moaning to herself, "Oh, John, oh John, oh John, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I just didn't know what was wrong with me..." and I faded back out.

Dimly remember hearing stuff like that over and over again. Just a strange post anesthesia dream, I thought, when I finally did wake all the way back up.

A few days later Susan and Kimberley and JJ did come to visit me in the hospital. JJ was really excited because I had been shot and was now a celebrity "hero" on all the news. Thank God none of the hostages were harmed. But two perps were down forever and the third was also wounded and even in this same hospital. Even Kimberley seemed somewhat pleasant and even happy to see me. I did not have a clue what to say to these people who were once my family and my blood. I tried to make a joke and said something like "Well, Jack had his chance and missed..." but Susan turned red and then white and ran out of the room. It almost looked like she had tears in her eyes.

Kimberly just said "Mom's not too happy right now. Jack's not living with us anymore and not allowed to come around us. Mom hasn't been happy for a long, long time - since you went away and left us."

I was too tired to argue with crazy people and even try to set the factual record straight and basically just told them I needed to rest now.

Susan kept bringing my kids back to see me every day but we didn't talk. What was the point? I mean we were WAY beyond "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus" - it was more like I was from a regular matter Universe and Suzy was from a Bizarro anti-matter Universe. What could we possibly have in common to talk about?

At least the kids WERE talking to me and not acting scared of me or just hating me. Susan finally asked, "Where are you going when they discharge you? You will need somebody to help you. Kimberly and I would like to do that..."

"I've already arranged to go into a live-in VA rehab center. So, not necessary." Now what was wrong with Susan? Planning on murdering me if she got me in her power?

I tried to remain civil but my skin was crawling a little. Just a little too weird after the past 16 months - not to mention the previous 13 years...was she schizoid?

"Look, once I get all situated I'll call Edith and give her the info on visiting hours and maybe she can bring the kids for a visit one day on the weekend. OK?"

Well, I was trying to let her off the hook - I wanted to see my kids but not her. I just figured the stress of being around me was making her all weird - and I sure didn't need her fucking pity just because I was wounded. I WAS alive and I'd be OK again. But I was definitely leaving Dodge, after I did recover.

Susan didn't look so relieved as they all left - just depressed. Welcome to my daily world. At least Susan had had LOTS of "hot sex" since I "walked out on all them". I had a left hand for a hot date once a week, if it was a GOOD week.

Although every once in a while I would go out for a drink after work and still in uniform - and let some woman pick me up. One night stands and NOT dating - it really was amazing how the uniform was such a turnon for some women. Maybe that's all Susan ever really saw - just the uniform - not me and then not Jack, not really. And she could find another man in uniform or not for that any time she wanted - like right now tonight. So don't emote some "I'm depressed" BS around me. Please.

Brandon had been by a couple of times to see me but Jack hadn't. Jack was on administrative leave right now while the whole thing was investigated. The other officers behind Jack testified they thought Jack kind of stumbled and then fired totally accidentally. But there was just no way to spin it good. He was probably going to be kicked off the SWAT team no matter what. Control of one's weapon at all times was THE critical skill and ability. Or just purposefully wounding a fellow SWAT team member for personal reasons wasn't too good either. Duh. Best case - off SWAT and just another police officer job. Worst case - firing from the whole force and possibly a "negligent firearm assault" charge because he shot me in the ass.

I also found out Susan had literally made Jack crazy. She NOW had a restraining order against him to stay away from her and was evidently frightened of him. Damn it. My kids might really need me and I was pretty helpless. I only hoped he remembered Haran. Dead Haran, another scumbag who wouldn't be hurting anyone else ever again.

I think I could figure out what happened. Jack believed every lie Susan told him. She was just a poor helpless Damsel-in-Distress, I was the Dragon. And he was her Knight-in-Shining-Armor rescuing her and her educated pussy, which really, REALLY sealed the deal when he finally got in it. He was convinced she really loved him as he loved her and that I somehow was "mind controlling her" to reject him now. Even before I could walk on my own again Jack had already been arrested once for violating the restraining order.

He was now on notice at work. One more violation and he WOULD be summarily fired for cause - and the Police Union couldn't help him one bit either. Poor Jack was literally addicted to Susan. He couldn't stay away. He was arrested again trying to break into her house when luckily a patrol car got there in time. He was now sitting in jail while the ADA and his lawyer argued over bail. The Judge sure didn't want some more bad nationwide publicity about a "bad" cop in St, Louis, like one out on bail who then killed another cop's ex-wife - so he set bail at $1 million cash and Jack stayed in jail.

Susan's mom did bring the kids by just about every weekend - sometimes both days. All of a sudden dear old "Mom" Edith was a lot friendlier to me. About the last time we were together she said to the kids, "Wait outside the room for me just a little bit. I need to talk to your Dad privately a minute."

I was sure THIS was going to be interesting.

"First, I want to apologize to you for believing all Susan's lies."

I remained silent.

"Susan's not well, mentally. She has been seeing a psychiatrist and is on some anti-depressants now that seem to be helping a lot. She had developed a bi-polar condition no one recognized - and was in a manic phase when she totally lost it. It may have been kicked off or made much worse by her birth control pills. Those hormones affect the brain as well as the body. That might have been what contributed to her problems in HS and then college as well. I am ashamed to admit I put her on the pill back then just to "keep her out of trouble"." And the old witch almost shed a tear here.