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Click hereAnd Jake finally said something.
"Aw, Jeez, Jenny - everything looked just fine. We didn't see anybody or anything suspicious and we couldn't follow her into the restroom."
Dad spoke up, "You were watching out for them?"
"Sure, Jenny asked us to, after what happened last week."
"OK, Jenny - let them stay with me and I'll see if we can view any security video right now."
Dad hugged me again real tight and Jenny put her arm around me and helped me carry all our bags out to her car. I would have traded the new clothes and shoes for my Mom back in a heartbeat.
******************
John:
As we headed to the Mall's security room I asked Billy and Jake again, "You didn't notice anyone else tailing them?"
Billy answered, "This isn't my first rodeo. Whoever they were, they were pretty damned good. And there must have been a team - no way a single psycho could have done it unless he was just fantastically lucky."
Yeah, psychos don't snatch women from the Mall. But I wasn't worried about psychos but rather JFO's goons. This couldn't have been planned out like the Butler heist, it was handled on the fly and pretty damn well, evidently. Modern cellphone communications alone made it all much easier. I would guess a woman was the primary tail - swapping out periodically with someone else though, which is why Billy missed it.
The video of that restroom area caught it. Jenny going in, then another woman wearing sunglasses and with short blonde hair who never looked near the camera. Then Jenny coming out looking different but definitely her, with the blonde and another guy helping them as they went through that "employees only" door. The camera in that hallway was "nonfunctional". It had been spray painted and the security folks couldn't say when.
Not much help but I got a copy of the video before I left. I'd let Kevin and his people go over it.
Susan was gone and there just weren't any leads to follow up on right now. I thought I was going to throw up as the adrenaline and my professional focus left me. I wanted to break something or someone really badly.
********************
Author:
One more chapter will wrap this tale up. I am thinking of continuing the Frenchie-Gigi story separately. One of these days I might actually just write a short story.
Anyway, based on so many comments I will endeavor to finish any future stories completely before posting any separate chapters. That does seem fairest to those readers who actually read my stuff and hate to be kept waiting. Shoot, as a reader I'm like that myself.
- COMMENTS
Onethirdover 7 years agoSome readers complain about the abrupt changes in the story- sure it isn't a nice compact linear story, but why all the suggestions to shorten it? Reading is very easy, writing well is very hard. I will follow the twists and not bitch about them. I don't need a Cliff Notes story- I have time and patience and enjoy what you've done so far. Now, making Gigi a shallow starry-eyed wannabe, that was too bad and a bit of overkill, but I really don't have a back story on her and Frenchie. I look forward to it, and kind of wish for a bit of good old fashioned payback for her leaving.
patillieabout 8 years agonow Gigi has a secret second life? Really? She was so devoted to Frenchie in the beginning, now she has wanderlust? Dont know how you can possibly wrap this in one more installment, and you foreshadowed that the Gigi angle will not be dealt with as you are considering a separate treatment for her and Frenchie.. Too much man, but I do like your style. Just would like to see some threads concluded.
Anonymousabout 8 years ago...and would love a following story with Frenchie-Gigi at the center.
I also feel there is much more story to be told here. Even if you wrap it all up, I was intrigued by the obviously arrogant, amoral and narcissistic personality of the orchestrator of the whole crime spree. That the "former Govt professionals" foobared the whole thing so badly, suggests their planning and preparation weren't up to snuff, and I think there's another story there.
In any case, I'm sure to enjoy whatever you decide to pursue.
Thank you!
Anonymousabout 8 years agoI have been enjoying this story. But the time between chapters combined with my bad memory, means that whenever a new chapter is posted, I have to go back and re-read a chapter or two so I can follow on to the new chapter. Thankfully, you do not make us wait three to six months between the chapters like I have seen here on Lit. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Anonymousabout 8 years ago... One of the previous commenters talked about a good story line. Maybe he was drunken?
It's very hard not to cancel reading after some paragraphs. Simply said: there is absolutely no story line! Your story - and thats also true for the earlier chapters - is quite exhausting as there is to much confusion, too many protagonists who act like puppets. Then there is also more confusion caused by mixing names and other deal breakers. Get at least a better editor!
