Speech and Debate Pt. 04

I turned on the water and stepped into the shower in one swift motion, uncaring of the temperature that went from arctic to lava while I let it hit my face, my palms pressed to the white tiles in front of me, the only things keeping me standing.

Maybe I didn't know him very well. I had spent the past two days simply trying to hang on as he yanked me down, around, under, and through this physical roller coaster. I hadn't had the time to really think on anything else.

His eyes.

Christ, they had been so...sad.

As if what I thought, what I thought it meant about him, actually mattered to him and had an impact. Could someone like me actually have the power to wound someone like him? My teenaged brain couldn't begin to fathom the possibility.

He WAS supposed to act like I predicted. That's what happened when a gay man found himself entangled in a straight man's web. It was supposed to be purely physical and forgotten as soon as it ended. That was the safest thing for all parties. No one got hurt that way, they just took it for what it was and never broached the subject again. Simply a one off, sexually stimulating, fantasy. I knew that. But Daniel's eyes had hinted...no, they insisted...that this was different. For him. And the fact that I had assumed otherwise had cut him, injured him somehow.

My head spun at my foolishness, my treatment of Daniel, the man who had been nothing but kind to me over the past two days and showed me places I hadn't ever explored within myself. I felt like such a fool, but I couldn't shake the assumptions and stereotypes of what this was supposed to be. It wasn't safe for me to harbor those fantasies, the hopes of something deeper and more meaningful from someone who stood so far above me. There were rules to high school and Daniel seemed uncaring as he began to shatter each one of them in turn. And to top it all off, he wanted, expected, and hoped that I would follow him down the new path he apparently wanted to forge together .

We had today in Boston. One more day of rounds and then one more night before we returned to school in the morning.

24 hours left and I'd ruined it all with my thoughtless assumptions.

I thought I would perish to a cloud of dust when I felt his hands at my shoulders, his fingers gently pressing into my skin as he traversed my body. Lighter than silk but with an effect like steel, his arms moved under mine and pulled me to him. Unlike the previous morning, I didn't feel his hardness press into my backside. Only the firm and now familiar strength of his muscles, the soft mound of his sex nestled gently next to me. He pulled my back too his chest, my hands coming to rest on his own, pressing them harder into my skin.

I wanted to apologize, to beg for his forgiveness and pray that I hadn't ruined everything. I wanted to, but Daniel kissed the nape of my neck and all thought vaporized. My head fell onto his shoulder as my knees sagged and I let his superior strength almost entirely support the weight of us both. I'd done my best to keep them at bay, but tears came hot and fast down my cheeks. Thankfully, they were silent and not the wracking sobs I felt I wanted to release, but Daniel still noticed.

He turned me to face him, his hips pressing into mine, his hands around the small of my back as he stared into me, seemed to take me apart and put me back together again until I couldn't recognize the man he saw.

"None of that," he whispered. He pulled me tighter to him. For the first time, neither of us were hard and sex-crazed. We were two men pressed together, seeking closeness, intimacy that I hadn't planned on and was unsure how to return.

"But...," I began.

"What happens, happens, David." He said, as if that was the answer. Maybe for him, it was. I was not so sure.

"What's going to happen?" I wanted that question to be taken seriously, but instead it left my throat mixed with the irrational fears of a child who's just discovered what comes after life. "I don't want...If you...when we...?"

"I don't know."

His hands traveled over my ass and up the small of my back. I struggled to maintain his gaze.

"I really don't know. But I can promise that it won't be what you said."

"How can you promise that? When we get back to school you could..."

"But I won't."

"Why not? What good will it do you to...keep me around?"

It killed me that in that moment I thought of myself as little more than a sexual plaything for Daniel, some THING that could be "kept around," like an old sweater, still unable to accept that this was anything more than physical for him. Confusion fueled exploration, easily forgotten. But even if it was, I wanted nothing more than to be that object for him. To be used like that. Like I'd come to expect, been told to expect, conditioned. It was Daniel who wanted something more.

"Because...I won't. You should know that by now. I thought you were supposed to be the smartest guy in the grade? Can't your nerd brain understand something as simple as that?"

It couldn't. But the smile he flashed me assured me that I was willing to try. We had been exploring unknown mountains for the past two days, climbing at dizzying heights, but still firmly planted on solid ground. Daniel was planning a trip to the vast unknown of outer space. But for that smile, I think I would have traveled anywhere and done anything.

I turned my head and leaned in to kiss him. It was gentle but persistent, not the lust filled animalistic kiss I craved from him every waking hour and in my dreams. Just a kiss that I hoped would convey what my bruised brain and self sabotaging heart could not. He sighed into our kiss and I felt him relax in my embrace as I, too, had done.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, our mouths pressed together, tongues dancing an easy tango. The water had lost some of its blistering heat when he finally broke our embrace and reached up to wipe a remaining tear from my cheekbone with a grin.

He reached behind me to turn off the water and stepped out of the shower silently. I found myself staring at the beautiful shape his back made, the wide shoulders tapering down into a deep V and then easing into his bubble butt. But for once, I wasn't overpowered by the desire to take him, touch him, devour him. Instead, something of a sense of comfortable...ownership... began to settle on me. Daniel had given something to me, a part of himself that I'd never received before. And he'd promised to give more.

He handed me a towel and we began to dry off in the steam filled silence.

As we dressed and readied ourselves to head back to the competition, I tried my best to keep the myriad emotions I was feeling from becoming too apparent on my face. Daniel tossed me a new jock strap, black this time, which he'd pulled from his suitcase. He presented it to me without comment and I placed it on the bed, fully intending to wear it today despite this morning's events.

With his naked back towards me, Daniel suddenly straightened from his suitcase, his hands going to his hips as if he was searching for something on the floor in front of him. He turned and looked around the room, found what he was seeking and made quick and sure movements as he approached me. He grabbed my cell phone from the top of the dresser and soon stood just inches from me, my phone in his hand.

I wanted to ravish him, his nakedness so close to my own. He stared at me in silence for a moment and I was unable to move or tear my gaze from his.

"You need to shut up and just go with it," he said in advance, his eyes dancing with mirth at whatever it was he was planning. Without waiting for my compliance, Daniel knelt in front of me, opened his mouth and took my soft cock into him.

Gently, he sucked on my length, working the flesh towards firmness, allowing it to expand into him. In my shock, my eyes traveled to the ceiling. If I thought too much about what was happening to me, I would surely find some way to ruin it.

In moments, my cock was fully hard and Daniel was bobbing contentedly down my shaft, his skills no less impressive than when we'd first awoken. The feel of him on my member so soon was almost too much. I was still sensitive and not fully recovered from my first orgasm of the day just minutes before.

Before I could react, Daniel raised my phone in his outstretched arm, placing it high above his head and aiming it towards his mouth wrapped around my cock. Without looking, he pressed a button and a bright white light suddenly illuminated everything from my waist down. Daniel pulled off of my cock and opened his mouth, doing his best to smile around my girth as he held my head on his tongue.

CLICK.

For once, my haziness came from the blinding flash of my camera phone and not the life altering emotions of the day.

Daniel made a thumbs up with his free hand. The white light threw his position into comedic relief.

CLICK.

As if he'd checked off a to-do task, he rose from his knees, my wet cock bobbing up and down between us. He handed me my phone, two new photos displayed clearly on the gallery screen.

"There ya go." He sauntered back towards his suitcase.

"What the fuck was that about?"

I must have been quite the site, my hard cock swinging in the breeze, holding my phone and staring at it as if I were a caveman discovering fire and not the technologically savvy man of the 21st century I was.

Daniel smirked as he pushed his arms into his sage green button-down shirt, my animal brain just registering the erotic movements of his muscles beneath his olive skin.

"Now you have something in your back pocket if I ever become an asshole. I don't plan on it, but if I ever do, now you have some ammunition. It's all I could think to do to ease your fears a bit, level the playing field. At least as you see it."

If I had been able to speak, I wouldn't have. I just stared at him aghast. The power he had just willingly placed into my hands, literally placed into my hands via telephone, was a show of trust that I didn't know how to return. He dressed completely and motioned for me to do the same. I was actually thankful of the reminder as I may have spent the day glued to that exact spot, staring at the photo of my cock in Daniel's mouth until the sun set and rose again the next day had he not provided it.

I was still making sense of the way the game had changed when we got to the Competition and headed to our separate rounds.

My first two rounds of the day went well, ending in two more pointless victories and two more inferior debators garnering the points that were rightfully mine. It didn't phase me as it should have. After I handily won my third of four rounds for the day, I didn't even wait for my score before I gathered up my coat and bag full of research materials and notes and strode quickly from the auditorium.

It took me a minute to get my bearings along the winding hallways of the massive building, but I soon found myself standing in front of room 314. I'm not sure why my feet carried me there, or where I found the strength to complete the journey despite my brain screaming in terror at what I had planned.

I entered the room from the first of the two doorways, ensuring that I wouldn't be seen as I snuck in the back. I turned the handle quietly and opened the door without incident. I scanned the room to make sure I was in the right place and then slid into an empty desk in the last row.

Daniel was unmistakable, even from behind. His short black hair was styled perfectly and his broad shoulders cut a striking figure in his charcoal grey suit coat. I tried not to sigh as I stared at him and rested my chin in my palm. Being in the same room as him had a profoundly unsettling quality for me, transforming me into a mindless drone of hormones and fantasies. I normally resented those sappy, brainless guys and girls. Now, I had become one.

The student, who had been speaking when I entered, finished their speech and there was a smattering of half-hearted applause that died down as quickly as it had begun.

One of the two judges in the first row scanned their roster and turned to the small group behind them.

"Daniel. You're next. Commentary only. Yes?" he asked.

Daniel stood and my heart began to race. In a moment he would be facing me.

"Yes." He replied as he walked to the front of the classroom, his stride long and confident. Unlike the previous competitor, Daniel did not hold a stack of index cards in his hand. He would deliver his Original Oratory from memory.

He stood with his feet shoulder width apart, as we'd been taught, his eyes on the floor as he gathered his thoughts for a moment. When he raised his eyes to begin, his sight landed on me and his mouth remained open for a moment.

It happened slowly at first. Like watching a glacier break apart, starting from a small, barely noticed crack and widening into a schism that sent huge sheets of ice crashing to the sea below, Daniel's nerves became increasingly and more obviously flustered.

I refused to break my gaze from his. He stared straight back at me, the words coming to him on auto pilot, nearly monotone as he rattled off his opening statements.

Pity.

It was an impressive performance. I'd watched it a time or two back at school when we did peer evaluations.

"How can we, then, ascribe those values to ourselves when we wallow in hypocrisy," he intoned. "How could a people still claim to be noble and good...,"

He paused. He cleared his throat.

"Noble and good when...umm...sorry...noble and good."

I couldn't help it. I chuckled to myself.

He was shaken. Truly shaken by my mere presence. His invasion of my round yesterday was being paid back in full and with satisfying results. Very satisfying.

"Fuck it," he said. "I forfeit."

That cut my mirth short. Daniel strode from the front of the room, the other students becoming aware that something new was happening to cut the drudgery. He barely paused to grab his bag and coat and headed straight towards me, each step more sure and growing in speed. His brown eyes burned into me and my breath became stuck in my lungs.

Like a bull running down a Spaniard, he made it to me in record time. His grip closed around my wrist and yanked me from my seat in one smooth motion. He didn't stop to see if I was following, he just dragged me bodily from the room. Not with violence or ill intent, his grip was firm but not painful. He knew I would follow. He was just giving me very firm instructions to do so. In a flash, the door was opened and he lead me into the hall, letting it slam behind us loudly, echoing down the empty hallways.

Daniel still held my wrist in his grip, his arm extended behind him as he strode surely. I watched the muscles of his legs and ass as he moved, covered by the suit pants but doing little to actually hide their magnificence. We'd gone about 25 yards in this fashion, Daniel leading and pulling me from behind when I finally found my voice.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

There was more than a little desire in that question and I felt my cock start to swell in my pants, beginning to fill Daniel's loaned jockstrap to bursting.

Daniel was silent. He lead us around first one corner and then another as my trepidations and desire mounted in equal measure. After a third turn down a hallway I hadn't seen before, Daniel's pace quickened until we were almost jogging over the linoleum tiles. With a grunt like a football tackle, Daniel suddenly turned and pushed open a bathroom door I hadn't noticed. He yanked me into the room before I had a moment to adjust.

I heard, rather than saw, Daniel's coat and bag as he threw them inside the small two-stalled room. I remember the sun through the clouded windows made a bright but still somehow dingy rectangle on the floor, but everything else escaped my notice. Daniel released my wrist and gripped my face between his palms as he pushed me to the wall, using his mastery of my body to ensure I didn't slam my head into it.

He pushed his mouth onto mine and kissed me deeply, his tongue forcing its' way inside. My muscles turned to water and my own bag and coat crumpled to the ground at my feet. His scent was intoxicating, the heat and pressure of him as he ground himself into me a shock like the first blast of Boston cold at the airport. My body shivered uncontrollably in the same way. His tongue traveled my mouth and I returned his advance as best I could in my hazy state.

When he released me I mumbled: "What the hell was that for?" as I tried to catch my breath and calm my racing heart.

His hands were still on my face but had softened their touch to a gentle caress.

"I need to get you out of my system."

As high as I had just been, I came crashing down just as far.

"Why?" I struggled against the rising tears. He would not see me cry twice in one day. I wouldn't allow it.

"Because, I can't be thinking about you all day, every day. I can't be thinking about what I want to do to your body in the middle of AP English. Or what I want you to do to mine. I'll fail inside a week."

And just like that, I was soaring again.

Daniel's troubled expression was the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. He was really going through something. What it was, I couldn't begin to define, but it was writ large on his features. Lust was there, passion as well and the usual fears of reproach and rejection. It looked as if he were mapping out his possible courses of action. The steps and reactions and counter reactions that could take place should he choose to go one way down this crossroads as opposed to another.

Though I was far from sure which road we should travel, I knew which routes to avoid. And in that moment, I desperately wanted to lead him away from the more nasty options. So I relied on that most sacred of teenaged social skills: the obtuse question.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not really wanting him to answer and fearful he would.

"I don't know," He answered, leaving the space for my heart to begin to beat again. "Maybe nothing. Probably nothing. I mean...," he faltered.

I stared at him in the silence, memorizing his face at that precise moment, bathed in dusty afternoon sunlight from the windows, just in case this was all about to end.

He sighed deeply, as if he was releasing all of his anxiety in that one long breath.

"Don't look at me like that, David, " he said in mock desperation. "It's not fair."

"I'm sorry," I said, and meant it, truly afraid I was the cause of his turmoil.

"Shut up. You have nothing to apologize for."

Before he'd finished speaking, his words obviously meant to soothe me despite his own discomfort being more crucial, he pressed his lips to my neck and kissed the space behind my ears. His open grip moved through my hair, starting at the base of my neck and traveling slowly until he held the back of my head in his open palm. His other hand found the front of my black dress pants and covered my throbbing erection in his grip.

His lips at my throat, kissing lightly and then moving to a new location before I got used to it, over and over again ,made my skin tingle.

"Daniel," I sighed into him.

His fingers fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, working from the top down. His lips never left my skin as he licked my collar bones and showered a line of kisses down my sternum, each new contact sending me to my toes.

His hands found my hips as his fingers tried to undo my belt, a race to see wether the pants or the shirt would succumb first, but sure that both would eventually give way to his assault. Daniel pushed me away from the wall and towards the window sill at the far end of the room, directly facing the still unlocked door. The backs of my thighs hit the tiled windowsill and I sat down hard.