Speed of the Sound of Loneliness Ch. 02

Ch: 02 Who said it doesn't get any better than this?

The Second of Three Chapters.

I wasn't going to be late for my meeting with Molly. If I had to sit in the parking lot until 7:29, I wanted to make an entrance that she wouldn't forget. She threw me out like yesterday's newspaper and I wanted her to see what she had created. I secretly hoped she would be jealous, if not worried that I had pulled one over on her. I was determined that I was going to give her nothing in the way of information about my new life except the basics. I was going to teach her a lesson.

At exactly seven thirty I walked through the front door of Bruno's and looked over the sparse crowd trying to find Molly. I finally spotted her over in a corner, by herself and looking around as if she was trying to find me. I began to walk toward her booth without looking at her and got to within a few feet before she looked up at me. At first she didn't recognize me, but finally she blinked and realized it was me.

"Jack?" was all she could manage.

"Molly. How are you?" I asked politely.

"Jack. You look so ... different. What's going on?"

"Well, I guess I lost a bit of weight." I offered nonchalantly as I slid into the booth on the other side of the table.

"Yes ... I can see that. You look a lot ... better." she stuttered.

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself." I offered. In fact, she didn't. Her hair was a lot neater and she'd obviously dyed it to hide the grey. She might have lost some weight and she was wearing a much more appealing dress than she usually wore. I always thought she bought her clothes at the Salvation Army Thrift Shop.

"You've bought some new clothes." she commented.

"Yah, well the old ones didn't fit anymore, so I pretty much had to."

The waitress came. Molly was sipping some kind of cocktail, but I ordered an Ice Tea. Take that woman! The new, disciplined Jack.

"How's the job?" she asked.

Was this a trick question? Did she know something about my new job? I couldn't figure out how she could, so I told her the truth.

"I don't work for asshole Sandivale any more." I said bluntly

"What happened, did you get fired?" she said with a wrinkled brow.

"Sort of. He fired me for being on sick leave. I got a severance and I've got a new job starting next week." I gave her the minimum of information.

"Jeez Jack. Are you going to be OK?" she asked. Now I knew that she didn't know anything about Interstate.

"Yah ... I'll be OK. I'll make out." I offered minimally.

"Maybe it's just a well, Jack. You hated that job anyway."

"Yah ... no doubt about it. I won't miss SandStacker for a minute."

We looked at each other, sizing the other up and trying to see what was going on behind our facades.

"How's your health now? Are you alright?"

"Yah ... pretty much. Doctor Vic arranged for stress leave to give me some time to ... get better. That just ended last week, but they had to pay me some severance when they fired me, so I'm OK that way. I feel a lot better ... been exercising and diet and things." I made light of the effort I had put in.

"You happy with your new job?" I asked.

"Yes. It's a good job in a nice place. It's Marie's Sewing and Quilt Shop on Union Street. They've been around a long time and with my experience, they were happy to have me." she said looking at her hands.

There was something uncomfortably unfamiliar about this meeting. We were sparring without really saying what we wanted to say. She was obviously surprised at my appearance, but she was holding back. I was surprised at her appearance, but I wasn't that curious. For two people that had been married for as many years as we had, we didn't seem to want to explore the changes. Then Molly changed the topic.

"Jack, I sold the house this week. Finally! We got a little over two hundred thousand for it. Not bad according to the real estate agent."

"That's good ... I guess. Where are you living?" I asked.

"Well, that's the thing. This young couple bought it for their parents to live in but they aren't ready yet. It's kind of like an investment. So I made a deal with them to live in the house for rent while they wait for the old folks to come out. It was easier that way. I didn't have to move and I know the house, so, like I said, it was easier." she explained.

"Yah ... I guess so." I offered with a non-committal tone.

"Where should I send the cheque for your share of the house?" she asked. "Where do you live?

"In an apartment over on Olive Street ... for now. Call me and I'll let you know where to send it."

"Is it a nice place ... your apartment?"

"No ... not really. I'll be looking for another place ... my new job is in Drayton." I said simply.

"Are you going to move to Drayton?" she asked with a hint of concern.

"I don't know. I'll wait and see. I can commute for now. I'll let you know where I work and if I'm going to move." I offered.

She looked at me and then down at her hands again. She picked up her drink and sipped it was she studied my face. I was hoping I wasn't giving anything away.

"Was there something else you wanted to talk to me about, Molly?" I finally asked.

"Yes. I guess you've noticed that the divorce hasn't gone through." she said quietly.

I was suddenly paying attention. I quickly realized that I hadn't seen anything of the proceedings since I'd signed the papers and sent them back to her a couple of days after she had asked me to leave.

"Yah ... I haven't heard a thing. Is there a problem?" I asked.

"No ... I never filed. I just never got around to it. I'm not sure why." she confessed. She looked like she might start to cry and I didn't want that. I waited for her to continue. She must have had a reason. Finally she looked up and tried to explain.

"I got to thinking. We had all those years and they weren't all bad years and ..." she began to cry. Her shoulders shook and her hands covered her eyes and I felt very sad all of a sudden. This was a shitty way to get revenge.

"So have you changed your mind, Molly?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't know. I've been so lonely and I've been trying to remember why I was so unhappy. I was lonely when you were there and now I'm still lonely. It doesn't make any sense." she cried.

"You hurt me pretty badly, Molly. You told me you didn't want me or need me or even care for me any more. You can't expect me just to throw that aside and say ... oh well ... that's OK." I said with some anger.

"I know Jack. That's what I've been trying to deal with. Why was I so upset? I must have been very angry with you and I can't remember why. I just remember feeling so empty... so lonely. Just like now."

"What do you want from me, Molly?" I asked fairly sternly.

She looked at me with a forlorn face and the first signs of a loss of hope.

"Maybe nothing, Jack. Maybe it's too late. Maybe it's over for us." she said sadly. She lifted her head from her hands and looked directly into my eyes. "When I saw you tonight, I knew something had changed. Not just your body, but your attitude. You're different than you were. You don't walk the same as before. You seem stronger and more confident. You're not the Jack that left that day in June."

"You're right ... I'm not the same Jack and I'm never going back to being him. I discovered I didn't like him very much and one of the reasons I made all the changes I did was because I saw what you saw; a poor, sorry, son of a bitch with nothing to recommend him. Well, I'm not that Jack any more." I spat.

"Good for you Jack. You sound like you could see what I could see. It wasn't what we wanted for each other." she said more confidently.

"You're right, Molly. One day I looked in the mirror and I saw the real me and I didn't like what I saw at all." I stated emphatically. "I knew I had to change and with a little help, I got it done. What you see is what you caused. I'm the new me because you kicked my ass out."

She smiled tentatively. I couldn't tell if she was frightened of me or she was respecting what I had accomplished. It didn't matter. I was nearly through and I wanted to go, but I didn't want to hurt her any more.

"What do you really want, Molly. I know you're lonely and to tell the truth, so am I. But I'm not going back to where I was ... ever. I'm the new Jack Tompkins and I'm going to stay the new Jack Tompkins." I was worried that I might have overstated my case, but I left it to Molly to decide.

"Maybe ... maybe we ... should try again. Maybe we should try ... dating. Just going out together and see how different we are." she tried tentatively.

I was quiet for a while. I wasn't looking at her directly and I was thinking of what kind of answer I could live with. I closed my eyes and let my breath out through my nose.

"I ... I don't know Molly. I'll ... think about it. That's the best I can offer. I still have a lot of pain from that Saturday rolling around inside of me. You said some things that burned me to the core. I don't know if I can ... get past that." I looked at her and she seemed on the point of breaking down again. I put my hand over hers and said my goodbye. I slid out of the booth and quietly left the diner.

So Molly wanted to reconcile, did she. How nice for her. How convenient. Even if she didn't know about my new life and my new job, it was bloody convenient, wasn't it. I wished I had someone to talk to. I needed to get this whole mess straight in my mind. She and I were lonely. She threw me out and that made things better except ... I was pissed off at her for doing it. It didn't make any sense.

-0-

The next three months were a whirlwind of work, work and more work. I landed in the job and started running that first morning and by the Christmas – New Years break, I hadn't stopped. I got so much positive reinforcement from the people at Interstate that you'd have thought I was at a Dr. Phil seminar. The good news was I was making progress quicker than they expected. I had sourced and implemented a simple inventory management system; Windows based. I was hot on the trial of a shop floor system that they badly needed and at the same time, I was scouting for an order entry system and a sales forecasting system. They all had to work together and I was getting all the right promises from the vendors, but I'd heard this B.S. before and then all the "exceptions" and "you didn't tell us you needed that" would show up. I was determined I wasn't going to be fooled if I could possibly help it.

I dropped into Phil's office one morning and flopped down in the chair in front of his desk. He looked up from his papers and smiled.

"What's up, Jack?"

"I need some advice ... or a strategy." I explained my concern about the program compatibility and my determination to prevent the usual pitfalls. I did some "blue sky" thinking out loud and when I started to talk about using students in a co-op program from the technical school in town, I saw Phil's eyes widen.

"Phil, I need someone to do the grunt work on these programs. They'll need to have someone from our plant to make sure they're putting stuff in the right slots, but I want to take the time consuming work off our staff's hands. We pay them to make plastic containers, not build computer systems." I stated emphatically.

"I couldn't agree more. Do you think we could get some students from Drayton Tech to help us in a Co-op program?"

"I'm not sure, but it's worth a try. I just want to make sure I know what kind of budget restraints are in place so I don't spend money I shouldn't."

Phil smiled at that. "You are well under budget on this project Jack. Go talk to the school and give me a rough proposal. I'd be surprised if we couldn't afford it."

"Great. I really want to spend most of my time selecting and blending these systems together so they all work pretty seamlessly." I said, grateful for the support.

"Exactly why we hired you. Go to it and come see me when you're ready."

And with that, I headed back to my office. Even after three months, I was having trouble coming to terms with the differences in the two companies I had worked for. The attitude and confidence were contagious, but twenty seven years of inbred conservative thinking doesn't go away overnight. I picked up the phone and called Drayton Tech.

I talked to a Ms. Janet Zukowski and she was very receptive to the idea, but wanted to discuss the details with me in a meeting. We agreed on a time at my office for the day after next and I was satisfied that I had gotten the process started. I could give her a plant tour and demonstrate what type of work I was looking for and how much time might be required.

When I got back to my apartment that evening, I noticed an official looking envelope and the address on the outside told me that my new passport had finally arrived. I had been on a couple of trips out of Louisville Airport to suppliers in the east and one out to the West Coast for a meeting with a software company. I had been using my photo I.D. on my driver's license at Security but I knew that wasn't going to be good enough pretty soon. Aser had already talked about us going to Düsseldorf to the "K Show" next October to look at new equipment. Who knew where else I might have to go. Two of our main resin suppliers were in Canada and I was overdue to visit their plants. The passport just made my New Year's planning that much easier.

When Janet Zukowski was announced at the front desk, I walked out to meet her and I was very pleasantly surprised. She looked to be in her late thirties and with blonde hair and an athletic build, was a very attractive woman. Her nose had obviously been broken at some point, but it only added character to her face and with two bright blue eyes, I thought this was one fine looking lady. It was, I hoped, going to be a very productive meeting. I then had to remember that I was probably close to twenty years older than her and promptly pushed the growing lustful thoughts to the back of my mind.

We exchanged greetings and I led her back to my office, stopping to introduce her to Phil. Aser's door was closed, so I would check later to see if there was an opportunity to say hello. Phil and I had briefed him on my plan at the Monday morning management meeting, so it wouldn't be a surprise and he was very supportive of the idea.

Janet and I talked about the school and her students and what she hoped to achieve with her Co-op plan. Unfortunately, she wasn't getting much support from the business community which I thought was short sighted, if not foolish. We were going to have to find our future M.I.S. people somewhere and why not locally when you could recruit people you had already seen work and who knew something about your business. I said as much to Janet and you'd have thought she'd just won the lottery. I think she'd been waiting to find someone that could see the value and get the program launched. I got the impression that both of us were going to work very hard to make this idea a winner.

After I had shown her around the plant, introducing her to the various department heads and we had looked at some of the proposed programs I had selected, we returned to my office. I asked Janet if she'd like something to drink and she was happy with water. It was my turn to be host, so I fetched the water and a couple of Aser's favorite biscuits and brought them back to the office. We sat and chatted and I found my mind wandering to lustful avenues again. I looked at her hand and could see no wedding rings. I know she could easily see the wedding ring on my hand and I wondered why I hadn't removed it by now.

After an hour of sketching out a plan for the program, I noticed Aser's door was open and I tapped lightly on it. He welcomed us as he always did; with a genuine smile. I introduced Janet and he asked her a couple of thoughtful questions about her school and her students.

"I just want to tell you how grateful I am for your support Mr. Rothmann. I'm hoping it really is the start of a great program for our College." she said enthusiastically.

"Well, you can thank Jack. It's his idea and he's the sponsor. I really hope it works too. We plan on expanding this business and I want to be able to hire, train and promote people from within the local community. There are benefits for everyone if we succeed."

We left Aser's office with Janet looking a lot like I felt the day I was hired at Interstate. I don't think she could believe all this was happening, but she wasn't going to stick a pin in the balloon to find out.

"We'll get this going right after New Years, Jack. I'll select the three students I think will be the best for the application and I'll give you a call. We can work out the details and the schedule from there. OK?"

"Very OK! Thanks for coming over today. We're going to get this launched very quickly, so if you think of anything we've overlooked, call me anytime." I handed her my business card with my office and cell phone numbers as well as my e-mail address. I smiled as I shook her hand at the front door and watched her walk to her car. I was going to enjoy working with Ms. Janet Zukowski; of that I was sure.

-0-

I wasn't really ready for Christmas; at least not mentally. We'd put up some decorations around the office and I got lots of cards from our suppliers. I didn't do anything at the apartment and I only sent out a few personal cards to the immediate family; including Molly. I sent a couple of small but nice gifts to Bonnie and her husband and the grandchildren in Oregon as well as son Brent in Iowa. I thought about buying something for Molly, but I couldn't think what to get her. If I didn't really know her for these last few years, how was I going to know what to get her? Finally, I decided on some perfume I knew she liked. It was expensive and I remembered it smelled nice on her and I thought at least she would wear it. In fact, I bought a whole gift set with powder and cologne and cream. Money wasn't the problem it used to be.

Aser had arranged for a Christmas Party the third week of December. It was a Saturday night and for about one millisecond, I considered not going. I didn't relish the idea of being a single at a Christmas Party but I wasn't going to try and fool anyone by inviting Molly and pretending we were still a couple. I hadn't really gone into any detail about my marriage with anyone. Chuck Freeman knew more than most people did, based on our conversation at lunch before I was hired. I had listed Molly as my dependent when I filled out my employment and health insurance forms at the office. She was listed as the emergency number to call in case of accident simply because I didn't have anyone else locally. It dawned on me that Molly would still be covered under my health insurance and that she may have taken out private insurance when we split and she went to work at the store. I made a mental note to ask her. It might save her some money. In any event, I knew I was going to the Christmas Party because I owed these people a great deal. I had a new lease on life and if everything wasn't perfect, it wasn't because of them. I was enjoying every minute of my new job and I could only hope they were equally happy with me.

The party was fun and I got to meet a lot of the wives of the people I worked with. Aser's wife Rebecca was particularly nice; but then what would you expect married to a great guy like him. Phil's wife Diane was very quiet and a bit shy, but she was nice and we had a nice chat about the weather and raising kids and the usual domestic things. I met Keith's wife Sherry and she was a hoot; full of life and ready to party. I caught Keith giving her the evil eye once or twice, but to my mind, she wasn't obnoxious; she was just having a lot of fun. I had to work hard to understand her sometimes; she came from a small town in the north of England and her accent was as thick as marmalade. Keith was from the south and much easier to understand. I had a few dances with some of the ladies and realized how much I was enjoying myself. These people all got along with each other and it was obvious they all wanted to be there.