Spreading My Wings Ch. 01

Once our intimacy returned and we discovered his difficulties continued and might become permanent, we looked toward another activity to provide satisfaction rather than just arousal. I'm referring to fellatio. I had some selfish reservations for most of our marriage because I didn't want to waste his orgasm. After getting over taste issues, I never fully adapted to the texture of semen. There was another issue I had but never made the connection before - hair in my mouth. I nearly vomit if I encounter hair such as mine while eating. My husband has hair on his lower penis shaft as I assume all men have. What used to be short lengths had grown with aging to long strands that reach my throat.

When I finally voiced my displeasures, he suggested we remove his genital hair. He can't see the area to shave himself so I tried ... once. I cut him in a tender place. He couldn't relax again when I held a razor. Thus began his manzilian practices, letting professional estheticians rip his hair out by the roots. I don't understand why he prefers that to shaving.

The only reason he continues today is the effect it has had on me; I've become an enthusiastic cocksucker. The visual absence of hairs around his cock alleviates my fears of encountering them. The undisturbed feeling of his smooth shaft sliding on my lips is enjoyable. I'm not anxious to pull off and the intended purpose to have him come in my mouth has me acclimated to the texture of his semen finally. I can swallow now without building up courage. His joking analogy compares it to having acquired a taste for sushi.

He has had four different women wax him. Despite being naked while a female works around and with his genitals, he didn't experience arousal from them handling his cock until recently. As a way to explain why an old fat man wants to be waxed, Jack has told each esthetician that I don't like hair in my mouth. All have had positive reactions to his declaration.

He has found a young Asian woman who owns a nail salon with her husband. She doesn't wear gloves while pulling and pushing his penis to stretch the skin. All four have touched him while working; it's a necessary part of the treatment, but she wraps her fingers around his penis or holds it down with her palm.

During one waxing this past summer, I was having a manicure from her husband in the salon while she worked on him in the back room. Jack reported that she seemed to hold him constantly that time and he got an erection. She declared it was normal and even joked about her husband and his wife being nearby.

At his most recent waxing, she again handled his member more than seemed necessary. Jack could not ignore the sensations of her pulling and pressing; he got a hard-on. He didn't feel it was necessary to state the obvious. She had her fingers wrapped around his glans and her grip seemed to squeeze him as she applied wax to his shaft. When she placed the paper tape on the wax and rubbed the tape to make the wax adhere, the up and down motion on his penis was too much like a hand job. He tried to stop the tingling in his groin but it only intensified.

With a whispered, "I'm sorry," semen spurted out of his cock. She didn't even let go of his penis; instead, she used her hand to point the ejaculation at his stomach. When it stopped, she grabbed a towel to wipe the semen away, and then continued waxing him as if nothing happened.

She wasn't angry or upset by his accident. In fact, she commented that is was good that he could still do that at his age. When she applied aloe at the end of the session, she rubbed it on his entire penis in a stroking motion for nearly ten seconds. For someone who warned him that any sexual expectation would ban him as a customer (as all estheticians seem to do), she escalated the contact herself and seemed comfortable with his resulting orgasm. We are both curious about what will happen during future waxings.

His gift to me.

I've described our sexual life in detail to prove my husband had always been a consummate lover who dedicated his lovemaking skills to pleasing me first. After some early experimenting, we considered sex and love interlocked at a personal level and we acted accordingly. Despite having a tolerance to include sexual play with others, for four decades neither of us stepped outside our marriage for sexual satisfaction. Even when both love and sex began to deteriorate, we stayed committed to our monogamy.

Many marriages break down for many reasons. The most common recourse is giving up. Despite the emotional pain, divorce is the easy way out; it's much harder to fix a relationship. Our story is not rare for the problems we encountered or even for having solved our differences, but exemplary for how our sexual relationship evolved because of first changing our attitudes. Our rebirth began with a gift of love.

My husband owned his libido issues. Even when he experimented with youthful partners, he couldn't always get it up. In his virile days, any woman who touched him or just looked at his cock got instant wood. Now a masseuse sees him flaccid for 30-40 minutes; a young woman holds his limp noodle for an hour. In our lovemaking, penetration was uncertain and orgasms difficult. His performance ability almost reached zero. Despite recent improvements, he knows he'll never again be what he once was.

The failures he was dealing with and the things we once did created his frame of mind when it came to deciding what he could do for me. He can give me plenty of orgasms; his tongue is a tireless magician. Yet, my perceptive lover knows my body craves intercourse to feel the deepest satisfaction. When we had success, he was romantic and nurturing in the afterglow. When we failed, he was romantic, nurturing, and sharing of his heart.

"You don't have to miss this. If I can have all the rest of you, someone should give you what I can't. It's the most loving gift I have to offer. I know you'll always love me, even without having good sex. I believe you can have great sex with another man without hurting our love. I even think our sex will be better for doing it."

I wasn't offended like the first time he suggested having other partners because I recognized just how generous and sincere his permission was. We finally talked at length about what such an arrangement entailed. We didn't have an agenda for implementing my freedom and I wasn't ready to actively search for a lover. He wanted me to understand a moment might come from anywhere. If I decided I wanted to follow an impulse, I had no reason to turn back and no need to clear it with him first.

My journey began when I went forth with an open mind. Whether with my husband or alone, I sometimes looked at other men. I asked myself, 'Would I have intercourse with that guy?' I didn't feel anything positive but didn't expect to get vibes from passing strangers either. I doubted I would be choosing from opportunities that never presented themselves before. I was wrong on all counts.

Several following chapters will describe the sexual experiences that changed my life, but at the time, they were only the first steps of my sexual transformation. The initial premise was for only me to receive sexual satisfaction. Jack did not seek the same permission in return because he only sought an occasional handjob. He wouldn't risk the embarrassment of failure with his current twenty-percent successful intercourse rate. Saving what he had left for me seemed necessary to keep us intimately connected. He misjudged our future.

After I began having extra-marital sex and we favorably accepted the changes in our lives, Jack met a woman at our community pool. He immediately recognized the possibility she would engage him in more than handjobs. We discussed our options. I was hesitant, not because I couldn't be as generous as he was, but I feared we would drift in different directions. Trusting that our love would survive anything, I granted him freedom too, completing the process that sexually opened our marriage.

The woman became more than my husband's sex partner, she was a catalyst that changed our sex in ways we never considered. She introduced us to swinging and strap-on sex. After starting slow, I have more partners than I know what to do with. Jack has multiple partners as well, and the boost to his ego has resulted in performance improvements and restored his confidence. He still has erectile dysfunction but it is not detrimental to our pursuits.

Lastly, I gained a new understanding about our relationship by logging all the experiences we shared in our marriage. When it comes down to it, exhibitionism is a form of group sex involving people outside the personal sexual relationship of the performer. After all the things we already did in front of strangers, it wasn't a far stretch to do something with a stranger. Our early tolerance of sexual play with close friends suggests we were predisposed to have an open marriage; we just waited over forty years to practice the lifestyle.