Stable Boy

"You're up early, sweetheart."

"Oh, hi. Yes, I couldn't sleep. Can I get you anything?"

"A cup of coffee?"

"Sure. Just a sec, okay," she said.

As she poured his coffee, she put it in his favorite travel mug. He was dressed in his uniform and ready to leave so sitting down with her was out of the question.

"How long will you be gone this time?" she asked him.

"Five day. A week tops. Just depends on how things go in Tokyo. With any luck I'll be out of there by Wednesday then head over to Singapore, spend two days then head back."

"And worst case is a week?" she said not wanting to get emotional.

"Yes. Why? Is everything okay?" he asked in his normal, always-kind, considerate way.

"Oh, sure. Just wondering. That's all."

She steeled herself, turned around, smiled and handed him the mug.

"There you go. Just the way you like it."

"Honey? You know how badly I want to make captain, right? And the only way I can do that is to show the airline I'm a team player. I hate being gone—away from you—but it's just temporary. Once I do make captain things will settle down. You'll see."

She smiled, kissed him on the cheek, then told him, "You better hurry. Don't want to be late, right?"

He smiled back then told her, "No. That wouldn't be good."

He looked down at the mug, thanked her for it, then said, "Hey. When I get back, maybe we can do something."

"Like?" she said almost letting herself feel hopeful—again.

"I don't know. Whatever you want. You choose. Think about it and let me know, okay? Gotta run."

"Okay, sure. Bye," she said weakly as the sadness engulfed her again.

After ten years of marriage she thought she'd have learned by now. They couldn't have children, and work was everything for him. Oh, sure. She knew he still loved her. In fact, he told her that all the time. He really was kind, caring, and polite. But his kindness was killing her while the endless loneliness was tearing her apart. Worst all, the continual self-deception was such a part of her life she now had trouble telling fantasy from reality.

Even now, she found herself believing he really would take her somewhere special. Somewhere they could talk and laugh the way they used to, and were she to push her 'new-normal reality' to its limits, they would go somewhere romantic and make love. But in her heart of hearts, she really did know that was nothing but wishful thinking. It had been so long since he'd shown any interest in her that way she had trouble remembering when things were different.

She'd tried to pinpoint when it all had changed several times, but she still had no answer. It had all been so gradual. It had snuck up on her slowly but steadily. Lovemaking became sterile then infrequent before just sort of...fading away. There were no more surprise phone calls, no romantic sticky notes, no weekend getaways. There were just these never-ending, desperate feelings of sadness and loneliness.

The trips grew longer and then they grew more frequent. He'd still shown interest in her when he came home, but that slowly faded, as well. Now, his time at home 'with her' was spent in their home office working on one thing or the other for the airline or hanging out with his new best friend.

It had gotten so bad that at one point about a year ago, she'd hired a private investigator to go through the files on his computer. She'd almost wished there'd been evidence of another woman; proof of an affair. But it really was all work related. Work was his mistress and his one true love. His beautiful wife was now little more than a comfortable friend. A roommate. A permanent fixture that was always there for him no matter how little he was available for her.

Parker Blackman had just turned 33. Her husband, Kurt, was now 37 and was finishing his last year of active duty as an Air Force pilot when they'd met eleven years ago. He was tall and handsome and she'd fallen hard for him. In less than a year she'd gotten engaged and married then moved away from her parents home in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. She'd left home to attend and graduate from the University of Florida in Gainesville, but Fort Walton was where she'd been born and raised.

She'd just come back home (out of financial necessity) and was knee-deep in student loans, and needed a temporary job in the worst way. She also needed as much time away from her overbearing, judgmental mother, so she took the first job she could find and ended up delivering drinks at a local bar where fighter jocks from nearby Eglin Air Force Base hung out.

In spite of growing up with military people all around her she'd never once dated anyone in the Air Force or any branch of the military for that matter. Her mother's home was just a few miles from Eglin, and Naval Air Station Pensacola was just a few more miles to the west. Parker wanted no part in moving around every few years, and while she'd planned to settle down near home, she was willing to relocate as long as she wouldn't be relocating very often. In fact, any relocation away from her overbearing, sanctimonious mother sounded pretty damn wonderful to her most of the time.

Parker wanted a career, but even more so she wanted a family. When Kurt was hired by Northwest Airlines, she happily moved to a suburb of Seattle, Washington which was just about as far from her mother and her annoying self-righteousness as she could get, and where they'd lived ever since.

She didn't hate her mother, Sandra, by any stretch. In fact, she loved her a lot. Parker just couldn't take any more of what her mother called 'the Spirit-filled life.' When Sandra converted to Pentecostalism, Parker had just turned 16 and wanted no part of it. Her mom became so deeply immersed in the cult that her father began drinking heavily and moved out the following year. Every day had been a living hell as her mother removed all things 'sinful' from their home including their televisions, the stereo, the radio, and finally Parker's cell phone. All that was on top of the non-stop haranguing about lust, sin, and the evils of boys and fornication.

She'd gone across town to live with her father, but he'd turned to his own form of escape from the world in the form of Mr. Jack Daniels to the point where living with him was no better than living with her mom. Parker floated between parents until she went off to college where she worked full time while also taking a full course load. Her dad paid for most of her room and board leaving her with 'just' tuition, books, fees, and other essentials. Fun was an essential and she'd precious little of it even as her friends partied endlessly and studied in between.

So by the time she met Kurt, she was more than ready to fall in love and the hell out of Fort Walton, Florida.

She and Kurt had moved only once and it was a local move from a mid-sized city to a smaller, rural area about 25 miles southeast of the Sea-Tac Airport, which was Kurt's home base of operations. They were making decent money, and Kurt had always wanted a farm or a ranch so they bought a very nice home on a 10-acre plot of land. It was more of a small ranch than a farm, but there were no animals of any kind on it.

Three years ago, Kurt had bought her two horses when his time away was really getting out of hand as was his near-total-lack of interest in lovemaking with her. It was a sincere gesture on his part, but to Parker, it seemed like he was trying to buy her off or assuage his guilt. Either way, horses were no substitute for the love and tenderness she so desperately craved, but she soon found herself spending as much time with them as possible.

Parker had never even ridden a horse, but she found someone to teach her at the stables where the horses were kept and cared for, and soon found herself looking forward to going for a morning ride in the cool, crisp air as often as she could. There had been many days since when she'd felt closer to her horses than she did to her husband, and once Kurt was gone, she planned to head to the stables and go for a ride.

For now she was stuck at home, a very big home where, ten years later, she had pretty much everything money could buy. And yet in spite of all the luxury surrounding her, she was more lonely than she could have ever imagined. Yes, she had friends, but human friends were only slightly better than her equine friends as they couldn't hold her or love her, either—at least not the way she was dying to be loved and held.

She watched Kurt drive off then grabbed her coat and purse before setting the alarm on their state-of-the-art security system and leaving the house herself.

The drive to the stables was pleasant and she never tired of the evergreen forests on either side of the winding country road. The rain was another matter, but today it was unseasonably warm and sunny with an afternoon high of 62 degrees expected. That would be downright chilly in the Florida panhandle, but was considered rather balmy for northwest Washington state during October.

"Parker! Nice to see you," the manager told her as she made her way to the front office to pay the monthly boarding fees.

She only knew his first name—Pete—and he was as nice a man as she'd ever met. He was probably close to 50 and was unfailingly warm and friendly. He wasn't what she'd call attractive, but were he—and she—suddenly single and interested in her, she could see herself overlooking a whole lot of physical flaws to be around someone who made her feel like she mattered. Then again, there was only so much stretching she could take and Pete, as nice as he was, would push it to the limit.

"Good morning, Pete! How are you?"

"No complaints," he replied.

She knew what was coming next. It was his standard follow-up line.

"Besides, no one wants to hear my complaints anyway so why bother, right?"

Parker smiled then asked if her horses were ready.

"Oh, sure. My new hand just made sure they've got food and water. He might still be brushing them. Just um...tread lightly around him. He's done some time."

Parker stopped smiling and moving.

"Time? Pete, what in the world are you talking about?"

"He did two years in juvy for assault few years back. I don't know much about it, but his case worker said he did quite a number on some guy."

He saw the concern on Parker's face and tried to calm her.

"I believe in second chances, Mrs. Blackman. He hasn't been a lick of trouble since he got here two days ago and he's been nothin' but polite and courteous. He's a darn hard worker, too. I gotta give him that much."

"But still, assault is very serious, Pete," she said, her concerns not fully met.

"I also heard he claims he was just defending someone. But a judge did find him guilty so I just felt I should let you know. If his being here bothers you I'll send him out to the fields until you're done. Lord knows we've got plenty of fence line that needs mending."

"No. That's okay. I trust your judgment, Pete. And to be honest, I believe in second chances, too. But thank you for letting me know."

"Well, if you have any concern, no matter how slight, let me know immediately, okay?" he told her.

"I will, Pete. And thank you again."

He smiled, tipped his hat, and headed off toward the barn as she went inside to pay her bill.

That taken care of, and now on high alert, Parker walked slowly toward the stables, looking left then right after every step, and she hadn't even stepped inside yet. Once she did, she knew her horses were four and five stalls down. She didn't see anyone but looked into each stall for this mysterious new ranch hand but saw no one.

As she approached her first horse's stall, she heard a voice and froze. A feeling of near panic welled up inside her until she heard a deep, baritone voice gently talking to her horse.

"Good boy, Dawson," she heard him say as she walked up to the stall and saw him brushing the gelding. Parker had had the biggest crush on James Van Der Beek when he starred as Dawson Leery on the teen TV series Dawson's Creek, and had named her male horse after her one-time heartthrob.

It was a logical choice to name the filly that was in the next stall, Joey, after the lead female character named Joey Potter played by Katie Holmes.

"You are a very handsome guy, buddy. Did you know that?" the young hand said as he continued brushing.

Parker stood there for nearly a minute just watching and listening before he noticed her out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, hi there!" he said with a smile. Then he stopped, turned around, and stared for a moment. "You must be the owner."

"Um...I am. But how did you know that?" she asked almost afraid to find out.

"Pete showed me your picture."

"What? Pete has a picture of me?" she asked now on the verge of freaking out.

"No. Not of you," he said. He sat down the brush and moved a couple of steps closer.

"Whoa! That's close enough!" Parker said reflexively.

The young man put his hands up as he stopped.

"Okay. No worries. I'll stay right here," he assured her.

"So tell me about this...picture,"she said partly intrigued and partly disgusted at the thought.

"Well, Pete was telling me about the horses and their owners when he mentioned the woman who owns these two is from London."

"London? I'm totally confused."

The boy laughed and Parker noticed for the first time he was a very good-looking young man. 'Gorgeous' was the first word that came to mind. 'Felon' was the second even though it had been juvy and not prison.

"That's what I thought he said. London. You know, like the city. Turns out he was talking about someone from back in the day he said you look like. Joan—Lunden with a 'u' and an 'e'. I'd never heard of her so he showed me a pic from the internet."

"Oh, okay. Now it makes sense. Pete's told me that at least twice before. He's even showed me the pic. But I don't think I look like that. I mean, back in the day as you called it, she was truly beautiful. It's very kind of him to say, but..."

"No, Pete pretty much nailed it. You do look a lot like her. Well, like she used to anyway," he said flashing a perfect smile at her. "In all honesty, I'd say you're by far the betting looking of the two."

His smile was incredible and for a brief moment she let her guard down.

"That's very kind of you. I don't think it's true, but it was still very nice of you to say it."

She realized she was standing there staring before she spoke again.

"Oh, I'm Parker, by the way" she told him through the slats in the wooden gate.

"Oh, right. Mrs. Parker. I couldn't remember anything but London. Or maybe Lunden."

Parker actually came close to laughing before correcting him.

"No, Parker is my first name. My last name is Blackman."

The young man rubbed the back of his head and said, "Boy. I'm oh-for-two. I should probably quit while I'm still only behind, huh?"

Parker was having trouble picturing this very pleasant, very handsome young man assaulting anyone and yet Ted Bundy, the infamous serial killer from an area just a few miles away, had also been a rather attractive man who'd used his good looks to his own sick advantage. Bundy was nowhere near as handsome as this...this...stable boy, but he'd been attractive enough to lure many young women into his VW bug only to viciously kill them. The thought sent chills through her.

"Sorry, Mrs. Blackman. I'm Austin. And please don't laugh, okay? My last name is White. But unlike Blackman, it isn't Whiteman, like the Air Force base in Missouri."

Again, Parker came very close to laughing and when he saw her smile Austin said, "Whew. I was beginning to wonder if I'd offended you or something."

"No. Of course not," she said pretending all was well. Then again, maybe all only seemed perfectly well.

"So which horse did you want to ride this morning, Mrs. Blackman?"

"Oh, well, I rode Joey last time so I guess it's Dawson's turn."

"I take all the horses that don't get ridden that day out for at least a short ride, so you really could ride her again if you'd prefer."

"Oh, okay. I had no idea," she told him. "But I think I'll take this beautiful boy out today."

"Exercising them is one of the many hats I wear around here," he told her as he tipped the cowboy hat he was literally wearing. "I'm not much of a cowboy and this thing on my head is pretty much just a prop."

He smiled but his next comment caused her to stop smiling.

"I'm sure Pete told you about my past," he said as he turned away and started getting Dawson ready for her to ride.

"Oh, um...yes, he mentioned something about something. I didn't really pay much attention," she said feeling guilty for thinking he could be another Ted Bundy. Then again, it wasn't out of the question.

"I told my side of the story many times before I went to court where the judge told me it was my word against the word of the other guy—the guy my mom was dating. Well, that month anyway. He had my mom pinned up against the wall with his forearm on her throat. I'd seen her get pushed around many times and even slapped once or twice. But this time I saw fear in her eyes so I...took him down—hard.

She tried explaining that she couldn't live without him and if she told the judge the truth, he'd go to jail. I guess letting me spend two years in juvy was worth it considering how he bailed on her the first month after I was gone."

He managed to smile again before throwing a saddle on Dawson. He cinched it up then said, "I don't expect anyone to believe me anymore, and I've made my peace with it. You just seem like a really nice lady, and I could tell you were afraid of me. Don't worry. I'm harmless. Most people won't even talk to me once they find out why I'm here. In fact, you're the first person who has."

He finished up then said, "Okay, Mrs. Blackman. You're all set."

"Oh. Wow. Thank you, Austin," she said. She stepped aside a little too quickly when he opened the gate and apologized.

"It's okay. Really," he said. "Enjoy your ride, ma'am."

As he walked away she felt terrible again and called his name.

"Ma'am?"

"Have you ridden Joey yet today by any chance?"

"No, ma'am. I was going to take her out as soon as I finished brushing her, but since you'll be out on the trails, I'll wait until your back."

"Well, listen. I...I really feel awful about, you know, and well, please don't wait just because of me. In fact, it...it might be nice to have some company. I mean, if you don't mind or if you even want to or..."

Austin smiled but didn't laugh.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure. Please go ahead and tack her up and we can ride together."

"Let me just tell Pete, okay? I'm sure he won't believe me unless I give him advanced warning and he might still ask you if I'm telling the truth. I'll just be a minute, okay?"

"Sure. I'll go look in on Joey while you're checking with Pete."

He seemed very well mannered and quite well spoken, and none of that fit with the image she'd conjured up of an angry, head-strong kid ready to fight at the drop of a hat. Something just didn't fit, and Parker was as sure as she could be that Austin wasn't a bad kid let alone Seattle's next Ted Bundy. He may have made a mistake, but he'd paid for it, and if was telling the truth, how could she justify being afraid of him? After all, she had to admit she'd been given a second chance a time or two herself. How could she not extend the same courtesy to him until she had reason to do otherwise?

"Okay, we're all set," she heard Austin announce as she was putting a bridle on Joey.

'I'll get that Mrs. Blackman. I don't need to give Pete any reason to say I'm not doing my job. Oh, he gave me 30 minutes."

Austin smiled and said, "Pete wanted me to tell you he wouldn't do that for just anyone. but for Joan Lun..."

Parker couldn't help but laugh as she stepped aside to let Austin take over.