Stacy King and I Ch. 04

Stacy was still twitching and moaning as she grabbed at my hand to pull it off the thong. "Thomas! Stop!" Still twitching. "No! Stop! You can't!" Oddly enough her other hand was holding herself open for me.

I suddenly got another idea. I don't know what made me think of it. Maybe the devil on my shoulder, that one with his dick out. Maybe it was just because it was there. I backed away but before she could complain, I danced the tip of my tongue across her pink rosebud.

That did it "Ooooohhhhmmmmmmsssshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiit!" She exploded! Her hips pulled away from the edge of the couch, ripping her away from my mouth. Her ass danced wildly as her hand worked her clit and I could see her pussy clench and release, clenching and releasing. I'd never seen a pussy before, certainly never one in orgasm. It was a beautiful sight. I watched as she squirmed and cursed and screamed for what seemed like forever, although it was only a few seconds. Her thighs were soaked, as were her panties, but I didn't know how much of that was from her orgasm and how much was from my mouth. I didn't care. I just fell more deeply in love. Finally she collapsed sideways on our couch, a sheen of sweat covering her. It was hot in here.

Dammit, we'd forgotten to close the door. Hopefully we wouldn't get a visit from the landlord or police.

Stacy lay there and panted, her hair a mess, face red, exhausted. I simply stood up, walked to the glass door, and closed it, looking out over the parking lot. There were only two cars there: hers and mine. Everyone was out. At least in this side of the complex. If they were on the other side, they would park there, but they also wouldn't have heard us. I felt better.

I went to the kitchen and pulled two bottles of water out of the refrigerator, opened them both and then sat on the floor by Stacy's head. I stroked her hair. She rolled her head toward me and looked at me sheepishly. I continued to stroke her hair. "I'm tired," she said sleepily.

"Okay, just rest here for a little bit." She nodded. I held the bottle up for her to see it, getting another nod, and set it on the end table by her head. I stood up and kissed her on the forehead, walked over to the table and picked up her robe, then went into the bathroom to draw a bath. Looking through her basket on the counter I found some bath crystals that had lavender in them and sprinkled some in the tub. There was a very gentle lather as the faucet filled the tub. I got out a towel and lay it on the toilet seat and went into her room to pick up her Nook to take in there as well. Within a few minutes her bath was ready. Going into the living room I helped her off the couch and picked up her bottled water before helping her to the bathroom. I didn't even offer to help her undress. I kissed her on the head and backed out to leave her to rest.

I took my bottle of water and set it on the nightstand in her room, put my iPod on her speaker stand and started putting her things away. I stayed away from the clothes in her suitcase, but hung up her other clothes in the closet, put together her shoe tree before hanging it on the closet door, and put all her shoes on it. I hung her mirror over her door and pulled things out of the boxes and milk crates, setting them around her room so she could arrange them at will, but they were now readily accessible. I made up her bed and put her lap desk on it, setting her laptop on it and plugging it in to charge.

She was in the tub for nearly an hour. Every once in a while I would hear the water run, probably to warm it up. When she came out of the bathroom she walked into her room. "Why are you...Oh, my god. You're setting up my room?" She smiled as she looked around and I watched her. Her eyes lit up. She was again in her robe, her balled up panties in one hand, the Nook in her other. Her hair was pulled up in an impromptu bun, a tortoise shell clip holding it in place. She tossed her panties in the hamper and dropped her Nook on her bed before walking to me and giving me a hug around my waist as I put attached brackets onto a shelf board. "Thank you so much." She smelled like lavender.

"Sure. Did you have a nice bath?"

"Mmm. Wonderful bath. Thank you."

She let go of me and walked over to the suitcase on the floor, crouching down and grabbing a pair of pale green panties. She stood up and looked at me suspiciously, then spun her finger in a circle, indicating for me to turn around.

"Seriously?"

She just raised her eyebrow.

I sighed and turned around.

After a couple of minutes, she said, "Okay." I turned around and she was back in some shorts and a tank top, a bra line clearly evident. She smiled at me and dropped onto her bed, leaning against the headboard and crossing her ankles. Looking down at her hands, fidgeting with the string on the waistband of her cheer shorts, Stacy cleared her throat.

"Um, Thomas?"

I stopped messing with the book shelf and looked up. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

"Okay." I set the bracket on the dresser and sat on the bed at her feet.

"Uh. About earlier....I....well....that wasn't what I wanted." She continued looking down at her hands, avoiding eye contact with me.

"What do you mean? You seemed to enjoy it." I wasn't trying to be argumentative and I wasn't bragging. I was sincerely confused about the problem.

"I know, and I'm sorry about that."

"Whoa! What do you mean you're sorry? What's there to be sorry about?"

Stacy sighed and looked at me. "I'm...enjoying spending time with you. And I love what you do to me, but I pushed things too far this morning. I'm really trying to reconcile some things here, and I'm having a tough time with it.

"I was thinking while I was in the bath. As soon as I settled into the water, I realized that my vulva was burning. I guess it was from your beard. It had gotten a little irritated. That had never happened to me before. I'm sore down there and I know that it's because I've never used it like I have this weekend. Obviously I've pleasured myself, but I've never been with anyone and now all of a sudden...I started thinking about where we were just a couple of days ago and the fact that we...now you were performing oral sex on me. That's too far."

"I'm sorry, Stacy. I don't mean to push. Or maybe I do. But you were enjoying it, and..."

"Don't, Thomas." She placed her hand out flat toward me as she said it. "Just don't."

"I guess I'm just confused."

"Okay. I'm just thinking out loud here, and trying to wrap my head around something. Hear me out, all right?"

"Of course."

"I've been in love with you for a long time. At least the whole time I was in high school, and even before that. I've never known what to do with it. At first I passed it off as a stupid crush. You're my brother. But I couldn't get over it. None of the guys in school caught my eye. Part of the reason I wanted to go to England was because home wasn't going to be the same without you there. The opportunity presented itself and I took it. I figured that if I could get over there and wrap myself into what I was doing there, my focus would shift and I'd outgrow my thoughts, mature emotionally and everything. But even there, no one grabbed my attention. I spent the whole two years longing for the day when I could be back here with you. I chose my college based on the fact that you were going to be there.

"I fantasized about the very things we've been doing this weekend. I longed for it. And now it's here and it's incredible." Her voiced choked and her eyes started to well up with tears. "And all of a sudden this morning, I freaked out." She sobbed for a moment. I reached out to touch her hand, but she pulled it away. I was shocked. I must have really fucked up this morning. I reached too far and it bit me in the ass. Taking a breath, she continued, her voice still squeaky and ragged as she spoke while crying. "I wanted it and didn't want it, all at the same time. Everything else up to this point was different, I guess, but today something changed." She burst into uncontrollable sobs, tears flowing freely and her shoulders shaking as she hung her head into her hands.

I sat silently, guilt creeping up inside me, creating a knot in my throat and in my stomach. I was such an asshole. Stacy room blurred as the tears welled up in my own eyes. I called myself every name in the book. Just two days. I'd promised to protect and care for her and I was now her greatest threat. What a piece of shit.

"Stacy, I'm so sorry," I cried. "I'll stop. I'll back away. I'll do anything! Please, just tell me what I can do to make you..."

"It's not you!" she screamed, jumping up off the bed, rage in her eyes as she yelled. "It's me! I'm the freak! I'm the freak who wants to fuck her own brother! How could you even look at me?!"

I just stared wide-eyed, terror-stricken. I'd never seen her like this before. The only words that crept through my brain were, "Son. Of. A. Bitch. Where the HELL did that come from?"

"For two years I tried to get you out of my mind! TWO GODDAMN YEARS, THOMAS! There was nothing I could do! Even leaving everything I knew couldn't do it! I didn't take any pictures of you with me, none of the gifts you had given me, not your college t-shirt from when you got accepted here. That's why I never called or wrote, T. Just the sound of your voice or reading you tell me you loved me at the end of a letter would be too much for me. My heart jumped every time I talked to mom or dad and they said, 'Thomas says to tell you hey and he loves you.' God, I'm such a freak. I should be institutionalized. Who the hell wants to fuck their brother?" She dropped to the floor in a fit of sobs again, leaning her back against the bed and pulling her knees up to rest her head on them as she cried.

I sat silently for a minute, listening to her cry and mentally abusing myself for being such a dumbass. What had I done to my sister? I stood up and walked around the bed before settling in beside Stacy. I sat there on her left, my back to the bed. I lay my head back against the edge of the mattress and stared at the spinning ceiling fan. For the longest time neither of us said anything.

Then she reached for me. Her hand found my arm, which had been propped on my knee. I brought my arm back so that she could hold my hand, and I squeezed. Just a little.

"If you're a freak, than so am I."

She sniffled, but didn't say anything.

"Does it seem like I've been putting up any kind of fight here, Stacy?" I asked, still looking at the fan. No response. "The only reason it was so easy for you to seduce me is because I've wanted the same thing. If I wasn't such a chicken shit, I would have been the one to make the first move." She looked up at me on that one. "Yeah," I nodded, eyebrows up, "when you showed up on campus I saw you get out of your car, but wanted to just watch you first so I could settle down before I said anything. I was afraid I would give myself away. Wait right here." I got up and went to my bedroom, grabbing a shoebox off the top shelf of my closet.

I returned and sat on the bed with the box in front of me. "Come up here," I called as I moved her computer out of the way, setting it on the floor. Stacy sat down across from me, crossing her legs before looking at me, her brow furrowed. I took a deep breath and opened the box. Stacy gasped when she saw it. Inside was a stack of pictures and some trinkets from her room. I put the box lid to the side and reached in without looking at my sister. She immediately recognized some of the pictures.

"Where did you..." she started to ask.

"I printed them off so I could have them. I missed you badly when you left. I was heartbroken when you went to England, Stace. It wasn't because I didn't want you to have the opportunity. I did. It was just that I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing you for two years." I looked up briefly and her eyes were on mine, still red, but the tears were fresh. I cleared my throat so I could continue on. "Every time you would e-mail mom and dad, mom would forward those on to me so I could keep up with what was going on. I printed up some of your pictures, so I was able to watch you grow up. And, um...and I fell more in love with you. I've been beating myself up for more than two years for being in love with my sister. I haven't dated anyone and I haven't made a lot of close friends. I've had a few buddies, guys I play football with or eat lunch with and stuff, but mostly I've kept to myself. The less people know about me the better. That's the way I see it."

"Thomas..." she reached for my hand, but I immediately began flipping the pictures back and showing her the images of her and her friends.

"This is you staring down the palace guard in London," then dropping it, "and you and your friends at Edinburgh castle." I dropped it. "You on the hunt for the Loch Ness monster." Dropped. "When you decided to make a trip to Germany for Oktoberfest." I didn't drop this one. I turned it around and stared at it. "This is my background on my computer. You look so good in that German barmaid dress, your hair in pigtails." I started to mumble. "It took me a little while to realize there was anyone else in that picture. This is my favorite." I followed it as I put it down before picking up another one. "Here you are trying to keep the leaning tower of Pisa from falling over."

"I had no idea..." She leaned in and took my hand, not letting me pull it away from her. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Probably the same reason you didn't! I don't want my sister thinking I'm a freak or pervert! I already told you that I didn't want to lose you. You're my best friend." My eyes misted up again.

"I'm so sorry. You won't lose me, I promise."

"I don't know. This morning I did a pretty good job of pushing you away. If I need to back off to keep you, I'll do it. I'll move out and you can find another room mate. Keep the furniture. I'll transfer schools. I'll do anything, Stacy. Please don't hate me." I lost it. The thought of my sister not wanting anything more to do with me broke my heart. She was on me in a heartbeat, wrapping her arms around me and cradling me to her chest. I was embarrassed to say the least, crying like a baby. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be the one to care for Stacy and in the middle of her own crisis, I made this about me. What kind of dick move was that?

But more than two years of guilt and hiding came pouring out. I'd had no one to talk to since Stacy left. We had had a very close relationship growing up and it was suddenly severed because of my own cowardice. If I had only told her not to go to England, to stay with me, I could have maintained our relationship. Even if I had never told her how I truly felt, I would have been there for her, talking and laughing, holding her, walking with her through crises. But I didn't. I chickened out and let her go to Europe, not speaking with her for two years. Yep. Dick move.

She continued to stroke my back, her cheek resting on my head. She hummed a song that mom used to hum when she was soothing us growing up. She never taught us the words, only hummed it. And now Stacy was doing that for me. My best friend. By the time the song was over, I was feeling a little better. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, embarrassed. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't be," she replied. "I never knew."

"I know. I should have..."

"No more," she said. "No more...regrets. No more fears. No more doubts about us. No more. We're here now. Together. We can't change the past. But we can do the right thing now. Today."

I took a deep breath and nodded, still looking down.

"About this morning," she sighed. "I think I just got overwhelmed. I don't have any kind of sexual experience at all. I've never had a boyfriend and I've only touched myself. I guess I was okay with everything as long as I could tell myself it wasn't sex, you know?" I got the sense that she was waiting for me to agree with her and would know what she was talking about, but I couldn't catch on. I just shrugged and shook my head a little.

"Like, up till now I've had something covering me. You've touched me over my clothes, even last night, putting your mouth on me, I could tell myself you were feeling me up. I could draw a boundary around it. Even this morning I was wearing underwear. But all of a sudden, you were touching my naked pussy. It was like a line had been crossed in my head, even though you hadn't done anything that different than before. I guess all of a sudden, this is sex with my brother. I know it's stupid but everything else was just playtime. Yeah we kissed and touched, but there were always clothes. When you made contact with skin, I panicked."

"So, just so I'm clear, the panic came because I was touching you without your underwear as a protection?"

"Yeah, I guess. Something like that."

"But you took my underwear off and touched me without it. Why didn't that bother you?" I asked, genuinely wondering.

"I don't know. I think it's because it wasn't MY body. I felt protected in my underwear, but when that was taken out of the picture today, it's like it actually became real sex to me. Does that make sense?"

"I...think so...." I replied with uncertainty.

"Well, that's the best I can do right now. I can't think of anything else it could be. It's almost like, when that curtain goes up, so to speak, the show is starting. In other words, I almost feel like sex is inevitable now whereas before I could pretend it wasn't going to happen."

"So you're saying..."

"Patience, brother. What I'm saying is IN MY MIND I'm now in a sexual relationship with my brother, and that didn't happen until you touched my naked pussy. Nothing more."

"Oh. Okay."

"Just let me think on it some more and if I need to talk about it I'll let you know. How's that?" she asked with a compromising smile.

"Sounds fair." I breathed out a sigh.

She stroked my cheek and softly affirmed, "I really do love you."

"I love you, too."

She moved her hand from my face and stood up.

"Well," I said, clearing my throat, "if it's all right with you, I'll just put this shelf up later," as I scrambled to put everything back in my box.

"Yeah, no problem." She could sense my uneasiness it seems. "Thomas," she said, walking toward me. I straightened up and turned toward her. "Just so we're clear." She put her hand on the back of my head and kissed me fiercely, her tongue invading my mouth, which I returned with equal fervor. My hand made it's way to her waist and I pulled her close against me. After a few moments, she released her grip and pulled away, then smiled and winked at me. I felt better after that. I understood that she wasn't putting an end to our sexual relationship. We both just needed to understand each other. "Now, go get dressed. We need to go to the store. I'll call mom and dad on the way." She swatted my rear end playfully as I exited her room. I turned around to see her bent over, rummaging in her suitcase again.

I returned to the living room to find Stacy sitting on the couch writing on a notepad, wearing a short denim skirt and burgundy halter top. Her feet were up on the ottoman and as I approached, she said, "I'm making our grocery list." She listed off the things she had put on there already and asked for any additional suggestions. I threw a couple of ideas at her. She got a kick out of the fact that I mentioned Pop-Tarts, but put them on the list anyway.

I helped her up off the couch and she looked me over. "Mmm, I like you in this." I was only wearing a t-shirt, board shorts and flip flops, but apparently she appreciated it. "When we get back, I'll show you how much." She leaned in to kiss me, dropping the notepad on the ottoman and wrapped her arms around my neck. One hand traveled down and squeezed my cock, ensuring that I was hard. I responded my squeezing her ass through her skirt. As if sensing my hesitation, she reached back with her other hand and raised it up a little while looking me in the eye. I took both hands and pulled her skirt up, feeling bare skin.