Stalk

You really should feel sorry for these guys. Here they are just trying to have some fun and get a rush out of provoking fear from someone and feeding on that. I have an understanding of how energy flows in a body. Take the energy of thoughts, I don't have to read them, but I can drain them or amplify them. I can blow thought patterns like fuses. I can reach in and…twist. Put me among humans and…well, I can have fun.

I feel like an older sister who looks at my younger brothers and I can't bear to watch them destroy themselves or others. So I try, in my way, to teach them. I feel too close to the damage to just let it happen.

I know what I need. Breakfast. My cotton comfies can pass for public attire, so I just head out in search of food I don't have to make myself. The best kind. I put on his leather coat. My life is probably an elaborate hoax just so that I can reach the moment of what it feels like to put my arms through this coat and bask. If this is true, I decide life is worth it.

He was waiting in the hallway. I close the door as if I don't see him, wondering if he'll make a move. When he doesn't I sigh and turn to face him. "What is this, enlightenment by tantrum?"

He smiles and walks toward me. "Haven't you ever heard of Tantrum Yoga? I tried Tantric, but it hurt my back." He held out a hand. "Dance with me."

I smiled at his tone of voice. "Do you ever say please?"

His smile widened also "Only if you're very, very skilled, and I'm incapacitated."

I started to laugh and reached up to grasp his hand. He pulled me to him with a strength and grace that made the bottom of my stomach fall out. Free fall.

"There's no music." I observed.

He snorted "Who needs music? This is dancing. We only need a beat."

"There's no beat."

He took my hand and put it on his heart. "Yes there is. A very strong one. Perfect for dancing."

I looked at him, felt his heart under my palm, and I started to cry. "I miss you. I'm so sorry. I miss you."

He held me and kept rocking back and forth to the beat of his heart. "I miss you too. You're babbling. You know I'm always with you. Shut up and dance." He tipped up my chin and then held my face in his hands. He smiled gently. "I said dance, not cry."

I felt a wobbly smile escape. "Well, maybe it's just 'cause you didn't say please. I'm not skilled enough, and you're not incapacitated by me."

He laughed then. "Not incapacitated? No fishing for compliments. You know just how much you incapacitate me and you also know that you are skilled."

"I'm skilled?"

"You're skilled."

"I'm very skilled?"

"You're very skilled."

"I'm very, very skilled?"

He hesitated dramatically and I stepped on his foot.

He winced dramatically. "Okay, you're very, very skilled."

"I'm very, very, ve-"

He looked exasperated and just said "Please shut up. Listen to the beat. Step on my foot again and you'll lose a toe." So we danced. He sighs. "You really don't know. You're so stupid. If you weren't so stupid this would be easier."

I snuggle "So I've been told."

"Wench."

"Asshole."

"Let's get something to eat. My coat looks good on you."

We walk hand in tingly, crackly hand to a diner. Two folks sitting down to eat. Nothing out of the ordinary. He's got sunglasses on and I reach to take them off. "Hate those."

His hand shoots out and he grabs mine. "No touching the glasses."

I shrug. "Okay, but I'm not talking to you until they're off."

He shrugs back. "You don't have to talk. It's nice to know the code. I'm never taking these suckers off now."

I stick out my tongue and all I hear is the solid "chunk" of his teeth biting together.

We look at our menus.

He swears "It's too dark in here, I can't see."

The sunglasses come off.

I start to whistle innocently. I stare at him. "You're so handsome."

He smiles and goes back to the looking for his breakfast choices. "Flattery will get you everything on the menu."

"All at once?"

"Bite by bite."

I sigh. "Why are you here?"

He looks me in the eye. "Because you're an idiot."

"Oh. I try."

"You succeed."

My voice gets smaller. "What am I an idiot about? Please don't make me bleed."

He relents. "No blood. Eggs. Time for ordering."

I look up. "Where's the waitress?"

It was a trap. "No, time for ordering you."

My eyebrows raise. "You can try, I'm not very good at listening."

His head shakes slowly. "Not that kind of order. This one happens whether you hear it or not."

I scowl.

His voice is sharp. "You know those morons you talk to? The ones that you cut on and cut on, they're bleeding out into the emotional water, they're dead but they don't know it? But you do? You're the moron. I'm the knife. Listen or bleed to death."

My voice is very small. "Okay."

"Okay WHAT."

"Okay, I'll have eggs."

"Wench."

"I can't help it if you're so easy to set up."

His foot met mine under the table and we both just sorta smiled and went back to calmly reading our menus. Peace.

After breakfast he smiled, paid the bill, and walked away. Even took his glasses. Didn't leave anything behind this time except for the emptiness I felt when he was gone.

I went through my day and went on being human. Watched some TV, ate some ice cream, fell asleep on the couch. I heard soft whisperings in my sleep, but I always do. Someone's always trying to tell me something, get me to pay attention, entertain me.

I don't wake until I'm being lifted in his arms and I stretch and put my arms around his neck, starting to nibble there.

He smiles.

I growl. Soft growl. Baby tiger kitten growl.

He says this softly. "One rule. No words from you. Nod your head if you understand."

I nod into his neck and I'm silent.

He sets me on my feet and removes my clothes with care and reverence. His hands pass over my body like ghosts, leaving a chill where they pass. I resist the urge to cover my body from the cold, because I just want to belong to him, belong with him. I hope my body pleases him

He closes his eyes as if he's memorized me. "You're so beautiful. This is the only thing I know I can do for you."

He lifts me in his arms again and lays me down on my bed, his eyes never leaving mine, and I'm hypnotized. Only when his head bends to kiss a part of my body that arches up to meet his lips do I close my eyes and give myself to him, give him my body, draw from him what he wants me to take.

His hands slide up the outsides of my thighs and draw my knees up to rest on either side of his chest, open and waiting beneath him.

His slide into my body was a yielding from both of us, a conquest of both of us, giving and taking and I couldn't get enough of him. He gave me all his strength, all his heat, all his love with his eyes, his hands, his force and restraint. An eternal blur of skin and shivers and moans.

He took my mind from me, where I was overburdened, and gave me back a clean slate, a beloved woman, a forgiven temptress and a criminal granted clemency. He was my judge and my jury and he took all my sins into himself and showed me love that didn't have to bleed, a life that didn't have to revel in pain. He showed me what we could be together and it was perfection again, of a different sort, a different breed.

My eyes opened to a new world that I could explore, a new way to be. I was breathless and helpless as a baby.

He draws back and whispers "I love you."

He smiles down into my dazed eyes and his humor casts a line through his tenderness. He shakes me gently and says "Say it."

My softest, most reverent whisper. "I love you."

And then he was gone. Really gone. Nobody to hold me up, nobody to push against, nobody to fear, nobody to hide from or run to. Just me. And…more. I was more. I didn't know what it was, but I was more and I didn't know myself. My body knew what to do, but I was clueless, and I had to learn to keep my mouth shut and just live this. Through this time whispers in my sleep guided me, helped me keep going. Muscles ached, blood, pain and tears flowed through me, and a child was born.

I looked into his eyes and I saw. I saw. I stared for a good long time with tears running down my face, but what mother doesn't do that? It's normal. It's the way of things. It's horrible, it's wrenching, it's beautiful. He's so small. He's so helpless. He's newly born.

He doesn't know anything. He can't be taught, he'll only learn what he wants to. He's stupid like his mommy.

But he can be protected. I could protect him. I could understand him. I could shelter him in my arms and smile. I could be terrified at the truths he doesn't know, wonder how he's going to grow up. I look down at his little face and he's blowing bubbles. I smile. His eyes are crossed. I smile more. There are no words. I belong to him.