Star Girl

“Yes.” She said. “Anything you want.”

What I wanted was her attention, constant, always on me. I wanted the same attention she gave to her stars. What I wanted was her fascination, her affection, the dreams she had about them, the beauty she saw in them. But I didn’t tell her that. I knew I’d never get it.

But if I couldn’t be up there with her stars, I would settle for bringing her down to earth where I was, just long enough for me to take what I wanted from her. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what I could get.

I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do with her. She noticed me looking at the bed, the armchair. She was anxious.

"Do you want me on the bed?" she asked me.

"No.” I said. “Stay where you were. In front of the mirror."

It was all the same to her. She was no longer in control of what happened. She would cede that to me,

"Face the mirror, just like you were." I said, and she turned her back to me.

I embraced her as before, this time with our naked bodies touching, my erect cock wetting her ass with its secretions, the smoothness of her back against my hairy chest as I again caressed her breasts and kissed the back of her neck, her shoulders. She brought her shoulders up to protect herself and I felt the goose flesh on the backs of her arms caused by my kisses. I found her nipples again, took them between my fingers and again slowly squeezed them until I knew I must be hurting her. I could see her face clenched tight as she fought the pain, and then she made just the smallest sound, the smallest acknowledgement that I'd hurt her.

I was flooded by a wild passion I can't explain, I kissed her, I kissed her shoulders, her back. That small whimper of pain, of acknowledgement set me off and over the edge. I had to have her, totally.

I took hold of the back of her neck and pushed her down until she was bent over the dresser lying on her chest, her ass in the air. I could see the pink flesh of her cunt nestled at the bottom of her dark crack, naked and moist, and oasis of glistening lust in the dim light, the bands of pale thigh above the tops of her black stockings.

She was breathing hard, panting, embarrassed and excited at being so exposed. She kept her legs straight and slightly apart, the curves of her calves accented by the heels she wore.

I sank down behind her, grabbed her thighs and reached my tongue out shamelessly for her cunt, hungry to taste her musk. I could barely reach her though and I pulled her ass back against my mouth, trying to shove my tongue into her asshole, making her utter a sharp squeal of surprise and dismay at the obscenity of what I was doing. I didn’t care. I couldn’t get enough of her. I wanted her inside and out, everything she had.

Her distance, her remoteness drove me wild, even as I shoved my tongue into her most secret place, shaming her and exciting her at the same time.

All she wanted was the stars in their regal glory, and what she got was her lover on his knees behind her, his face pressed animal-like into the crevice of her ass, licking her, tasting her as I held my hard cock in my hand and masturbated to her, the pre-sexual lubricant dripping over my knuckles.

It still wasn't enough for me. Eating her wasn't enough. I shoved my nose into her ass and licked her cunt from behind like a dog licks a bitch. I licked her and beat off and without warning I slapped her ass hard.

"Oww!" She moaned, rising up on her toes. Her bound hands were right above my head. I saw them twisting in protest.

"Oww! No! Please!"

I ignored her. This is what she wanted, just as much as I wanted to give it to her. This was the thing that had brought us together, the thing I never let her forget. She wanted sex like this: hard, violent and savage. Sex that took and hurt.

I slapped her again, and again, grabbed her cheeks and separated the pale moons of her ass so I could drink deeper of the dark nectar that flowed now with her growing excitement. Soon she would be there, she would be ready, and I slapped her ass again and again.

"Oh God!" she moaned, "Yes, please! Stop!"

"You hot bitch!" I hissed at her from my knees. "You cunt! You love this, don’t you? You love having me eating your ass and spanking you, because you're such a slut, don’t you? Tell me! Tell me you're a slut!"

"Oh God!" she moaned again. "No, no!"

She could have stopped me. She knew the safe word. It was her own full name, the last thing she would ever forget. She just had to tell me her name, the name everyone knew her by, and I would stop. I would remember who she was and stop. But until she said that, she was mine, and her protests didn’t mean anything. This was what she wanted too.

I spanked her until my hand hurt, until she was lying helplessly across the dresser, biting her lip, her face red and hot with excitement. With each slap she mewled helplessly and her buttocks trembled. The red print of my hand was visible on her even in the dim light of the room. I had to exert myself to stop.

I knew what I would do now. I knew what I would do with her on our last night together.

"Stay there." I said. "Don’t you fucking move!"

The lubricant was in my bag, unopened. It was thicker than normal lubricant, made to stay on her skin, and she moaned when she felt its coldness on her anus.

"No!" she said. "No! I can’t do that!"

"Quiet!" I ordered her. I slapped her again.

I smeared more lube over my cock, and then on my finger. I bent down behind her and pressed my finger against her asshole.

"No!" she moaned. "Oh no! Ohhhh!"

My finger popped into the tight orifice, and she jerked forward, her mouth open in shock. She rested her cheek on the cool top of the dresser and groaned as I rotated my finger slowly inside her.

I left it like that until her rapid breathing slowed, then I moved my finger inside her. She was slick with grease, hot. I would stretch her a little bit, arouse her, and when she was ready I would put another finger inside her and get her used to that. I had never done this with her but I had done this before. I knew the routine, and I wanted this from her. I wanted her to remember me.

She couldn’t think of the stars now. The constellations wheeled slowly overhead, the fixed signs of the zodiac in regal procession. In this room in this hotel I smeared lubricant on my hard prick and prepared to fuck the ass of this girl whom I loved so hopelessly, hoping that by making her feel my desire she would also feel my heart, my inexpressible joy for her.

I don’t know what I am. I don’t know what love is or what the stars are like in their remote perfection. I only know that I had to have her like this, that I was rooted helplessly in the earth and that I had to have her like this.

"Oh GOD!" she screamed as the head of my cock pushed inside her. "Oh God, go slow! Go slow! Please!"

She was panting like a woman in labor, frantic, her teeth clenched. Her buttocks quivered from the strain as I pushed my thickness into her body.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked her, breathing hard. I would have stopped then had she asked me to, safe word or no. The point was to have her, not to hurt her..

"No!" she snapped. "Just go slow. Please. You're so big!"

Everyone’s big when they’re trying to get into your ass.

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

She licked her lips and nodded. "I want this.” she said. “I want you like this. Just go slow."

It would have been easier to stop altogether than to go slow. I tried to hold still as she quivered beneath me, adjusting to me. She wanted to do this for me, to hurt like this for me.

Slowly I could feel the tides changing in my blood. I could feel them changing in her body as well, as she grew accustomed to me. She put her cheek down on the dresser and I looked at her face, beautiful and savage, no longer in pain. My cock was up her ass, where no one had been, not like this. No one had ever owned her like I did then. Others might own her, might have a claim on her body. Other things might have a claim on her heart. But at that time and that place no one owned her like I did. I was her entire world.

Things are hidden. There are secrets in the earth and in the lights of heaven. I flexed my cock within her and she squeezed me back so hard she made me gasp. I saw her smile a wicked smile. She was showing me she wasn’t helpless. She could bite me back.

If it was war she wanted, she had no chance. I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me and another inch of my cock disappeared into her rectum. She cried out and lifted her leg as if she were going to kick back at me to try and dislodge me. Her arms were pinioned behind her back and she clawed at my stomach with her nails, her hands twisting in her bonds.

"Slow!” she cried out. ”Please!"

I pulled her head back by her dark, rich hair. "No." I said. "That's enough time. You're ready. You're ready aren’t you?

Her mouth is open but she doesn’t say anything as I pull slightly out of her and push into her ass again. Her mouth twists into a feral snarl. "Oh Fuck!" she spits. "Oh God it feels so fucking dirty!"

"It is dirty, baby.” I whisper. "My prick is in your ass. All the way. How do you like it?"

She bites her lip and whimpers.

"What are you doing to me?” she moans. “You treat me like such a whore! This is so bad! It’s so wrong! Fuck me! Just fuck me!"

I can look down and see where my cock disappears beneath the moon-white globes of her ass. I know it hurts her, stretching her like this, but she loves it too. She loves to hurt for me. That's why she loves me, because I hurt her and make her feel so wonderfully dirty.

Oh God she feels so good! Her young, tight ass, my prick inside her, the look of animal lust on her face. Already there are beads of sweat on her forehead and wisps of her dark hair are stuck to her face. I can reach beneath her and find her heavy naked breasts where they're pressed against the smooth top of the dresser and I fill my hands with them, catching her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers.

"Oh yes!" she says through clenched teeth. "Do it to me. Pinch them! Hurt me! Make me bad for you baby. Make me bad!"

It’s what she always tells me: make me bad, hurt me, show me how dirty I am, what a whore I am. As if she needs a vacation from her stars, from their awful inhuman purity. She wants to be down here, feeling my cock in her ass, my hands on her nipples, reminding her of her body, of the clay we’re made of, our own brief mortality, of the exquisite pleasure we can take from each other in this cold and empty universe.

“You’re going to come in my ass too, aren’t you?” she asks in a groan, but she’s not really talking to me now. She’s watching herself from a distance, telling herself what’s happening, her own little perverse narration. “You’re going to come in my ass, aren’t you! You’re so bad to me, so dirty. Why do you want to make me bad? You treat me like a whore! I’m not that way. I’m not, baby! I’m not that way!”

Even though she’s talking to herself her words inflame me. I am bad to her, I love being bad to her, love to make her want my cock, want me to make her bad..

I grab her hair, pulling her head back and driving my prick into the tight clutch of her anus, spearing all the way into her. My balls are soaked with the juice from her cunt and I can barely move inside her she’s so tight, but she can feel every jerk and twitch of my prick inside her

She’s not lost in the stars now, and she’s not at home being non-sexual. She’s hot and panting and feeling my hard cock violating her ass. She’s losing control, reveling in the way I use her, feeling the violence of my desire that won’t let her hide.

She begins to shove her ass back impatiently against me, grinding slave-like, subserviently, back to take me inside, groaning at her own shamelessness. I find her pussy, empty and sopping wet, spread her swollen labia apart and find her clit. I begin to rub her, sliding my fingers up and down her greasy slip, feeling her little nub slide beneath my fingers, feeling her shudder.

“Yes oh yes oh yes!” she chants, her tongue coming out to wet her dry lips.

She squeezes me tight inside her and I get so frantic I almost pick her up off the floor with my hand at her cunt, digging my fingers into her, feeling my cock inside of her ass, my own hardness imbedded in her as she’s bent over the dresser. She’s frantic now and I feel it too. It’s just so impossibly obscene, so overwhelmingly perverse the pleasure I’m taking from her body, and I know I'm going to come, I'm going to lose it, and I want her to come with me.

It is like stars: hot and bright and burning with intensity, incandescent with pleasure as I feel my nerves go taut and short out burning pleasure in my legs.

“Oh God! Bitch! I’m going to come in you!” I spit down at her.

She answers me with a strangled snarl of pure animal excitement. I grab her hair and push her chest down onto the dresser again, seeing red. She can feel me swell in her rectum. She squeezes her eyes shut and her mouth opens in a soundless scream.

My universe comes boiling up from the ground of my being and I throw my head back, roaring, not seeing anything, lost in possession of her. I throb once, twice, and then I spit my semen into the darkness of her body with terrible force.

She tries to scream: cannot, her voice sticks in her throat. Her mouth hangs open and she doesn’t breathe, every muscle tense, then a single sobbing exhalation and she takes another breath and is paralyzed again. Her entire body spasms against me in deep, wracking shudders.

I’m still holding her hair, pulling her head back like she’s a wild horse, my cock spilling its seed deep within her, pulsing inside her as she rears up and shudders against me, again and again, her buttocks trembling, both of us locked together like that, every muscle quivering, the apex of being.

She collapses, sobbing on the dresser, her legs going weak, and my deflating cock falls out of her, spilling the last of its ejaculate down the back of her legs and onto the carpet. I lean on her heaving back but she can’t hold me so I force my legs to bear me up, grab her arms and pull her to the bed where we both fall on the mattress panting and gasping for breath.

I can’t speak for her but now I can feel the light and the shadows of those remote stars raking over us both as we lie in sweaty exhaustion on the bedspread. They’re like searchlights sent from the heaven, hunting us out, hunting all of us out.

The great moon, large and almost full is heaving its bulk through the firmament, rolling from house to house across the belt of the zodiac. The hands of the clock are moving, bringing me closer to the time when I must leave her.

Later I’ll make her tell me about the stars, about the nebulae, about the giant clouds of incandescent gas spread out over light-years of distance, lit with the powers of millions of suns. In her rich, sweet voice she’ll take me there while I play idly with her pussy, my head on her stomach. While I kiss her breasts, she’ll tell me about the stars, so incredibly far apart, each one blazing with its own mysterious energy, perfect, astonishing, alone.