Star Trek, An Untold Tale

Captain's Log, Stardate 87210.7: The Enterprise has entered orbit around a mysterious and distant planet. Two small federation vessels have disappeared in this area and Starfleet has asked us to investigate. The people who live on the planet below are not members of the Federation and may not be willing to assist us. They are a quiet people and have previously resisted all Federation contact, their only response being a desire to be left alone.

"Orbit established, Captain," Data announced. The planet below was a swirling mix of green and blue, a planet rich in plant life with abundant bodies of water.

"Open hailing frequencies," Captain Picard instructed. Before the command could be carried out, a bright flash of light blinded the bridge crew through the view screen. Picard, out of his command chair to greet the natives of the planet below when visual communication had been established, stumbled momentarily but recovered quickly. A few seconds later, another explosion rocked the ship, this time unaccompanied by any flashes of light.

"What's happening, Data..."

The bridge crew scrambled to their stations.

"Unknown, sir. Ship sensors are not responding."

"Red Alert," Picard announced. He stabbed the button on the arm of his command chair. "All hands to battle stations."

Picard's orders were not carried out and the alert system remained silent. Data's attempts to regain control of the console in front of him failed. Wesley Crusher, sitting next to Data, was also mystified.

"I think our computer system crashed," Wesley said. "But that's not supposed to happen..."

No further explosions took place. The ship stood eerily silent, still in orbit around the planet. Every member of the bridge crew reported the same thing: They no longer had computer control. Major catastrophic failures in the computer network on starships were unheard of. There were redundant systems everywhere, and computer glitches were always corrected quickly. It became quite obvious to the crew of the Enterprise that they were facing a crisis caused by an act of terrorism, specifically designed to thwart these many redundant systems.

Suddenly, the computer consoles lit up and roared back to life. For a brief moment, the crew thought that they were back in control of the ship. The displays were providing all of the necessary readouts, but the controls were still completely inoperative.

The communicator insignia on Picard's uniform activated.

"La Forge to Picard..."

"Picard here."

"We have a complete computer system failure, Captain. I manually plugged in a backup drive and the ship is currently operating on the programming we have archived for the previous hour. The computer will be using this information to begin rewriting itself and we should be okay. But -- for the next hour, we have to leave the computer system alone."

"Understood, Mr. La Forge."

Picard sat down. He made a general announcement to his crew to avoid all interactions with the ship's computer systems for the next hour. This would inconvenience many people aboard the ship, but it would not be critical. Picard considered checking up on Beverly Crusher in the medical wing of the ship. Perhaps she would need assistance with patient care while the computers were down.

"Captain," Data said abruptly.

"Yes, Data, what is it?" Picard responded impatiently.

"The first explosion appears to have been a focused tachyon burst of a type that we have not seen before. This burst created the computer memory damage we are now experiencing. The second explosion was designed to push us out of our proper orbit. I don't have the sensor data to calculate exactly, but I estimate that in forty minutes our orbit will decay and the Enterprise will begin overheating in the atmosphere below. In ninety minutes, the Enterprise will be destroyed."

"Ninety minutes. That should be enough time. When the computer system is finished rewriting itself, we'll leave the area and repair any physical damage."

"Uh -- there is a problem, sir," Wesley said quietly. Wesley was usually unwilling to speak up as a part of the bridge crew, mostly out of respect for the experienced members on board. Occasionally, his knowledge demanded that he assert himself.

"I studied holodeck software at the academy. I remember that the holodeck records these kinds of catastrophic failures and writes them into the software for study later. It's very useful for..."

"And what does this mean for us now, Mr. Crusher," Picard answered, sensing young Crusher's excitement but wanting him to get to the point.

"One hour from now, when the ship has finished rewriting its own programming, the holodeck will again cause another catastrophic failure. I think..."

"Then, we'll have to reboot again, but we will be out of time. The Enterprise will burn up."

"Yes. I think so."

"Who is in the holodeck right now?" Picard ordered.

"Commander Riker, Sir."

Picard considered for a moment. He needed more information. He needed his best minds working on this immediately. Picard called for a meeting.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Riker had been enjoying his time in the holodeck thoroughly. This particular holodeck program created four of the most sensuous women he had ever seen. Riker justified his passionate love-making session with the four women as pure exercise designed to keep him in top physical shape. He kept his use of this program a secret. He dreaded having the conversation with his Captain where he had to explain this sort of behavior.

Riker usually spent three hours "exercising" in the holodeck . The women were knockouts, and they were tireless. They were not human, of course, but holodeck constructs that looked and behaved realistically. They smiled, flirted, kissed, made love and climaxed as other women might. Well, no, Riker supposed, that's not quite right. The programming was tweaked somewhat to make sure the women were a little more enthusiastic and energetic to meet his unique physical demands.

Riker tried to end the program when he recognized that something was wrong with the holodeck software, and perhaps the entire ship as well. All four of the holodeck women had disappeared abruptly, leaving him nude in the center of the holodeck floor. His attempts to interact with the program were met with silence. A minute later, the women reappeared, along with the oversized waterbed, star ball and stereo system that had been programmed as the scene for his extended sexual calisthenics. "Afternoon Delight" played loudly in the background while the women prepared for Riker's return to bed, betraying his passion for twentieth-century pop music.

Riker recognized immediately that something else was wrong. The women were partially clothed again and repeating dialogue from much earlier in the scenario. The women were acting as if the scenario was just beginning. Riker had already climaxed several times, and felt capable of several more (he was, after all, a well-trained Starfleet officer). The sexual challenge took a back seat to his concern for the vessel, and he wondered what had occurred onboard the Enterprise for the holodeck to reboot as it had.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"We can not permit another computer crash," Picard said. "We must find a way to end the holodeck program before it crashes again. Suggestions?"

Wesley Crusher and his mother, Dr. Beverly Crusher, were present for the meeting, along with Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge, Lt. Commander Data and Counselor Deanna Troi.

"I have studied the software that Commander Riker is currently using. There is a way out," Data announced.

"What is it?" Picard asked.

"He is using a holodeck program that allows him to copulate with four women at the same time. The program..."

"Wesley, leave now," Beverly Crusher said, pointing his son toward the door.

"Mom!" Wesley screeched. His face turned red.

"Enough!" Picard interrupted. "The boy stays. He is young, but a valuable member of this crew. Continue, Data." Wesley stuck out his tongue and his mom folded her arms in disgust.

Data was a robotic humanoid and didn't understand the subtle nuances of human social interaction. He shrugged and continued. "The program is designed to end after three hours, but there is a bypass. The program will end automatically once the four women have experienced a total of thirty orgasms between them."

"We'll talk about this later." Beverly whispered to her son. "This must bring up all kinds of feelings..."

"I'm almost an adult now. Leave me alone." Wesley whispered back.

Picard was aghast. "Are you saying the fate of my ship is completely dependent upon my first officer's sexual prowess?"

Nobody said a word. Picard considered the scenario. "Geordi, is there any OTHER way for you to get us out of orbit?"

"Captain," La Forge said. "I can't change the laws of physics. We've got to have thirty orgasms"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Riker was considering his next action when the communicator fastened onto his uniform bleeped. He leapt across the room, retrieving his uniform from the floor. He found the communicator and responded.

"Riker here."

"Are you okay, Number One?" Picard began.

"I'm fine, but I'm trapped in holodeck three. The software seems to have looped..."

"Yes, Data has updated me on your situation. I am fully aware of your program and your situation."

Riker suddenly felt exposed.

"I, uh, Captain...it's an exercise routine..."

"We don't have time for this discussion, Number One. We need you to end your program within forty-five minutes, before the holodeck software causes a fatal ship-wide computer crash. Our orbit is decaying. The only way for you to end the program is to..."

Picard stalled, suddenly aware of the bizarre command he was about to give. The fate of the ship hung in the balance. So to speak.

"...to get your four women to have thirty orgasms..."

"In forty-five minutes?" Riker asked.

"Yes. We need thirty orgasms in forty-five minutes or we're all dead."

"Good god," Riker said.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Riker signed off and began working on the women. He dove into bed with wild abandon. He slid his erection into one woman, the blonde. He positioned himself so he could lick another, the brunette. He reached over and slid his fingers inside the redhead. He talked to the women, wooing them with words, pulling every trick out of his playbook. The women responded, moaning under his touch, writhing with pleasure. The fourth woman, the green skinned alien from the Andromeda galaxy, spread her legs and both pussies were open for him. Riker knew that mathematically this woman might be very useful, but it was hard to consider mathematics at a time like this.

The blonde climaxed loudly, followed by the brunette, then the alien. You could always tell when the alien woman came, because electricity danced between the two tall antennae located at the top of her head. Riker kept going, changing positions, wooing the women further. The group flowed together like one large, strange creature, and orgasms emanated from the pile periodically.

Riker glanced at the time. Eleven orgasms in twenty minutes. Not fast enough.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Picard paced across the bridge. There was nothing to do except wait.

"Data, if that were you inside the holodeck, would you succeed?" Wesley asked with bright-eyed curiosity.

"Yes, I would. I have been programmed in thousands of advanced sexual techniques. It would be a simple matter to isolate the particular technique that worked best on each female."

"Wait," La Forge interrupted. "Are you saying that you are better at sex than Commander Riker?"

"Of course. Like chess, it's a matter of sifting through possibilities and locating the best move as quickly as possible. Each female is different and would require a different technique, but I would sort through a matrix of variables and be able to isolate the optimal choice within a few milliseconds. I am physically inexhaustible. If the transporter system were operable, I could take Riker's place and save the ship."

The entire bridge crew rolled their eyes. Data had the feeling that he'd violated some kind of social etiquette.

"Sex is more than just technique, Data," La Forge said.

"I do not understand. Sex is basically an algorithm in which..."

"Sex is like humor," Picard interjected gently. "It's hard to describe, impossible to quantify. Algorithms will never work."

"Man, that fucking sucks," Data responded, shaking his head dejectedly.

Picard checked the time. Six minutes left. They had no way of checking on Riker's progress and Picard would not interrupt him. The hull was beginning to overheat.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Riker was aware that he wasn't going to make it. He needed a new plan. He stepped away from the action and considered the situation. He remembered that he had programmed into his holodeck women a bit of a bisexual streak. Every now and then, watching two women was fun. He didn't use this function much because his athletic routine was not supposed to consist of "watching" anything.

"All right, alien lady, on the bed," Riker ordered. "Now!"

The green alien woman responded by positioning herself on the bed, laying on her right side.

"Okay, blondie, on the bed. Get your face between her legs and begin licking her front pussy. Brunette, lick blondie's pussy. We're going to form a circle here. Lick that pussy good, we need results and we need them now!"

Riker began thrusting inside the aliens back pussy. The alien woman clicked a few times and screeched at a frequency that was very high, nearly outside the range of human hearing, but Riker detected it. It meant that the alien was getting really horny.

"Redhead, lick brunette's pussy and rotate your body so alien lady can eat you..."

The holodeck women were artificial constructs, but they reacted to Riker's authoritative tone. They enthusiastically followed his every command.

"That's good, ladies...I want some hot girl-on-girl tongue action. That's it redhead, don't be shy, get your mouth deep in there and start sucking. Make it good."

"Ooooh, you're so commanding, Mr. Riker," the redhead responded seductively.

The brunette smiled. "I love that. I'll do anything you ask, sir!"

"Me, too." The blonde offered excitedly.

"Good," Riker responded. You can all begin by eating the girl in front of you and making her cum. Use your tongue and make it good..."

"Yes, sir!!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Picard watched time slip away. Ninety seconds remained. He slumped in his command chair, feeling defeated. As a man of action, he didn't like standing by helplessly while the fate of his ship and crew were at stake.

"Captain, the ship is back online," Data announced.

Picard perked up. "Impulse power, now, Data! Get us the hell out of here!"

Data's hands danced across the console. The ship lurched and slowly moved away from the planet. The Enterprise had sustained minor hull damage due to overheating in the planet's atmosphere, but the ship was out of danger.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Approximately one hour later, Riker rejoined the bridge of the Enterprise to a chorus of clapping and whistles that quickly died down the moment Captain Picard flashed a disapproving look.

"I guess I should commend you, Number One," Picard stated skeptically. "You saved the ship."

"Anything for the safety of the Enterprise and its crew," Riker responded with a smile.

Geordi interjected. "May I ask how you accomplished this...feat?"

Riker considered his next words carefully. "An old Vulcan proverb, Mr. La Forge. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few..."

Picard slapped his forehead and sat down. Young Wesley approached Riker and asked for an autograph. Data waited patiently for the next command.

"Ahead warp two for the nearest star base, Mr. Data. Riker, you take the bridge. Alert them that you are coming and that you have reached the climax of this mission." Picard turned and left the bridge.

The entire bridge crew looked around at each other, wondering if the Captain had just made a joke. Riker shrugged.

"Engage, Mr. Data."

"Yes, sir!!" Data responded.