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Thank you guys for reading and commenting. I know this chapter wasn't that exciting however I am working on character development. Trust me it gets good and there will be the first actual problem in 4 or 5. It is always interesting trying to figure out where to break it up since I know the entire story and have written an ending. If there is anything you think you need to know before I start to get into the meat of the story please let me know via email or comment. I read them all and do listen to advice given. I hope this was still entertaining enough to make you want to read on. If not please let me know what you would like to see. This gets very bloody and so I wasn't sure if I should add all of it in. I guess I will just give you all a heads up for the really bloody ones.
Thank you to Lord Desh for inspiring this story and I hope you like the new additions and where it goes. I kept pretty close to the original for the first chapter but develop more starting with chapter 2. Thank you for letting me use this as I still think it was a lot of fun to write and read.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 10 years agoally - alley, strait - straight?! I think both of you are like Rom and can't read. I give up.
Anonymousabout 12 years agoThere are so many grammatical mistakes in this series! Please tell your editor not to rush as the errors are ruining your story.
Anonymousabout 12 years agoI love the way this story is beginning. I will say I had a slight tickle at the idea of an "impenetrable tent," with no explanation of such a thing might work. But then, this is your world and I'm thoroughly enjoying my visit. Looking forward to more--this has the feel of being a major epic in the making.
lonesomedove66about 12 years agoLooking forward to seeing this develop more and now am intrigued,,,,
LordDeshabout 12 years agoI loved doing this with you and I love where you taking it. I guess to make a story from a RP you have to change things. It can be a bit strange to read it otherwise. And I must point out to the others who is reading that it will get A LOT better. I really hope you don't take out all bloody parts.=). Keep up the good work and again...I love it.
