Staring at the Sun Ch. 04

Chapter 4, Monday

The hot and sultry weather broke at 3am and I was awoken by a huge clap of thunder that echoed around our room, making my heart beat faster with the intensity of its power. The shutters were banging against the wall and as I went to close them, another flash of lightning illuminated the figure of my husband lying there with his eyes wide open but not saying a word. For one terrible moment I thought he was dead but then he looked directly at me and his face was such a picture of misery that I yearned to go and put my arms around him, but the memory of last night stopped me.

"Louise?" he said, turning to look at the bedside clock. "Are you OK?"

I sat on the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm fine, just tired. Are you alright? How long have you been awake?"

I heard him sigh. "Ages. The storm woke me up and then I just couldn't get back to sleep."

I went into the bathroom to get some water and stared at my reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under my eyes which were still red from crying. The dinner last night had been terrible, neither of us saying much, a tense and uncomfortable silence between us that seemed too thick to penetrate. I hadn't told Richard about my phone call to Jake, knowing he would find out soon enough, but the guilt I was feeling lay on me heavily, our short conversation haunting me throughout the evening.

I thought of the journey to the Loire ahead of us and cursed Richard again for agreeing to go to the Dordogne sooner. The Loire was one of my favourite regions and I'd imagined us exploring the beautiful chateaux of the area and sampling some fantastic wines. Now, we'd be hurrying to see as much as we could before we embarked on another long journey south.

Taking one last look at my tired reflection, I switched out the light and climbed back into bed. The storm was still raging and the thunder crashed above us, making me shudder with its force. I pulled the covers around me and felt Richard move closer, his breath warm in my ear. His arm encircled me and I tensed, not wanting any intimacy at the moment, too tired and wrung out to even consider making love with him.

"Relax, Louise," I heard him say. "Everything's going to be fine. I promise."

But how could it be? Maybe it was the time of night, but all I could see were problems ahead of us. The business failing and the house being sold to repay the debts. The children leaving the school they loved and the pitying glances of our neighbours as we moved from our home. And to where?

Cursing myself for caring more about the material aspects of my life than Richard's state of mind, I relaxed slightly and felt his lips on my neck. A sudden image of Jake sprang into my mind and I closed my eyes to further the fantasy. Talking to him on the phone had felt so intimate and he'd been understanding and sympathetic. I'd been surprised at his warmth and had expected him to barely remember me; after all we'd only met once and then for a few short hours, but when I introduced myself he knew straight away who I was, despite the bad line on the mobile.

Richard's arm held me tighter and I felt his hand brush my breasts, his breathing deeper as he continued to kiss me. I gave in to the pleasure but in my mind it was Jake who was kissing me, Jake's arms holding me and his hands playing with my nipples as I felt myself grow moist with arousal.

Turning, I almost pushed Richard back on the bed and started to kiss his chest, his skin slightly salty with perspiration. Working my way down I kissed and stroked him as he groaned with anticipation, my hands brushing over his erection, teasing him to full hardness.

"Oh, Louise," he muttered aloud, but I silenced him. This was Jake I was making love to, not Richard, and I needed the anonymity of the quiet, dark room to live my fantasy to the full.

I buried my head in his groin and rubbed my mouth up and down his cock without actually taking it into my mouth. All the time I imagined it was Jake, wondering how he would feel, smell and taste. Would he entangle his fingers in my hair as I went down on him, look at me as I lay there with his erection in my mouth?

Feeling myself grow more and more aroused by the minute I softly licked the tip of Richard's cock and felt his penis respond. My hands cupped his shaft and I stroked up and down, loving the velvety smoothness under my fingers but my eyes remained closed, my mind some 300 miles further south.

I concentrated on giving my best as my husband lay there in the dark, his moans obliterated by the storm raging outside. Occasional flashes of lightning lit up the room as I moved my mouth up and down his cock, coating him with saliva while my teeth grazed his skin and increased the pleasure he was no doubt feeling.

"Louise!" he murmured and I looked up at him at last, needing to have him inside me, my imagination crying out for the sensation of Jake pushing into me hard and fast.

I rose and sat astride him, closing my eyes again and sliding down onto his warm hardness, my own wetness making it so easy for him to penetrate me to the full. I gasped as I felt him enter me, my mind full of Jake as I started to move up and down, my hips held by his hands as he maintained my rhythm.

I knew he was coming and continued to ride him as he ejaculated his warm semen inside me, his moans echoing in the hotel room. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine how Jake would feel as he climaxed, how he would call out my name and look into my face as he attained that state of bliss.

I climbed off Richard and lay down next to him, my fingers searching out my wet pussy and rubbing my clitoris in small circles. Richard leaned over to kiss me, his fingers teasing my breasts and I pulled his head down to one of my nipples and felt him suck hard. The orgasm washed over me in a wave and it was all I could do to stop myself crying out Jake's name. His face filled my thoughts and the nagging ache that had been with me since dinner finally ebbed away and died, my fingers slowing and my breath returning to normal.

"Feel OK, now?"

I nodded and snuggled down into the duvet, feeling the warm satisfaction that comes after sex, allowing myself to fall back to sleep where I knew the troubles of the day couldn't haunt me.

*

The next morning I awoke feeling disgusted with myself. How could I have fantasised about Jake instead of my husband? And why did I have this awful fascination with him? His whole personality and looks were dangerous, the sort of man who left a trail of heartbroken women in his wake and I was determined not to be one of them. I thought back to my phone call with him, how angry my husband would be if he found out what I'd said and steeled myself for the inevitable explosion that would come later.

Breakfast was strained with neither of us saying much and I could feel the eyes of the other guests on us. Richard spent most of the time consulting his maps and guidebooks and I marvelled at how he seemed so unaffected by last night's argument. Perhaps he was in denial, I thought, watching the other British couple who seemed totally relaxed and happy, their smiles and laughter a contrast to the heavy and serious atmosphere at our table.

I felt a terrible sense of sadness at how things had turned out on the holiday. Marred by arguments from the very beginning, I honestly thought it would be best if we went home and faced the problems together rather than run away from them and pretend that everything was fine. We would save money and although it would be difficult to explain to friends what was happening, at least we'd be trying to sort out our affairs.

Back in the room, as I packed our clothes, I told Richard of my idea. "Let's just admit defeat," I said sitting on the bed and shoving some underwear into the case. "We can tell everyone that one of us felt ill."

"I'm not going home, Louise," he insisted. "This may be our last holiday for a few years. We'll just have to try and forget the problems and enjoy it while we can."

I stared at him in amazement. "How can you stand there and say that? I can't forget what's been said! Our life is falling apart around our ears and all you want to do is buy wine and have parties with your friend!"

"Don't be silly. This holiday will give me a chance to see things clearly. I was too involved with the problems at home. I couldn't think straight."

Again, I had that sudden feeling that Richard was more involved with Jake than I realised and the plans he had to go and stay in the Dordogne were not as coincidental as I imagined.

The rest of the packing was done in silence and all my attempts to make Richard see sense were futile. He was blinkered about the holiday and I knew it was useless to try and persuade him otherwise.

As we checked out, I held my breath in case our credit card was rejected but it went through and Richard grinned at me as we made our way out into the warm sunshine.

"See? Everything's OK. Let's just enjoy the day now."

The storm in the night had cleared the air and the sky was a beautiful blue as we left the hotel and made our way to the autoroute that would take us to the Loire town of Amboise. I glanced at my husband as he drove and was surprised at how calm he seemed. His look of anxiety from the night before had disappeared and he even whistled as he steered the car onto the motorway, pressing his foot down on the accelerator and quickly moving into the outside lane to overtake a lumbering French lorry.

"You seem happy today," I commented and he grinned.

"Yep, just looking forward to the next stage of our holiday," he replied and squeezed my knee. "I love the Loire."

"You seemed so worried last night," I continued. "Have you had any thoughts this morning about what to do?"

He sighed. "No, I haven't but when I have, you'll be the first to know, don't worry. I'm just enjoying the morning and the weather. Am I not allowed to be happy?"

"Of course. It's just that you were so quiet last night."

"Well..." and he sniggered slightly, "you certainly made me feel better, darling. I'd never fault you in that department."

I felt myself blush at his words, the images of Jake springing back to my mind. Richard would never forgive me if he knew and I steeled myself to stop the stupid fantasies and concentrate on my ailing marriage.

The journey was fast and comfortable, the roads almost empty. The drawback to the speed was the high cost of the tolls, but Richard never seemed to worry, his faltering attempts at conversation with the toll booth operators making me smile. It was lunchtime when we finally arrived in Amboise, a market town dominated by the beautiful eleventh century chateau and where Richard had already picked out a hotel for two nights.

We parked the car by the river and strolled into town, admiring the architecture and picking out some restaurants that looked good for a meal. I relaxed, feeling for the first time as if I was really on holiday.

"I've chosen a hotel," Richard said, as we walked. "I just wanted to see it first before we decide."

Allowing him to make the decisions, I noticed the small chic shops that lined the street, wondering if it was in our budget to take some French clothes home for the children. I felt a sudden disappointment and sadness that I now had to question any spending we did. Normally I wouldn't think twice about putting all my purchases on the credit card, but the realisation was dawning that I would have to watch every penny I spent.

"Here we are!" Richard stood aside to let me through the gates of a small hotel. "What do you think?"

I gazed at the old mellow stone house, taking in the small terrace in the front, the scattered but artfully arranged pots of plants and flowers, the various Mercedes and BMWs parked outside.

"I thought you said a cheaper hotel? This looks way out of our budget."

"Special deal!" My husband grinned and I followed him up the small flight of steps that led to the Reception area. "I looked this up last night and hoped it would be good. With the stay at Jake's house, we can easily afford it."

I quelled my desire to argue and waited as a member of staff greeted us and took our details. She spoke perfect English and informed us that our superior room was ready for us.

"Superior?" I hissed as we made our way to the lift. "Richard! What have you done?"

"For God's sake, Louise! Stop worrying! I haggled a bit and they did me a deal!"

"How much?"

"Just be quiet. We're here now; it's only for two nights. Relax."

The room was wonderful, with views over the town and the river beyond. A huge bed dominated the room and the bathroom was awash with marble and expensive toiletries.

"It's beautiful, but it makes me feel uncomfortable."

Richard took me in his arms and kissed me on the lips. "Shhh...just think of the fun we can have in that bed..."

I smiled and felt a small twist of desire shoot through me at his words. I tried to think of the old Richard, the man who had managed the business so well and tried to relax. Perhaps he had a plan that he wasn't telling me about in case it didn't work. Trying to be optimistic I returned his kiss and felt the warmth of his body pressed against mine.

"Later," he said and smiled. "Right now, I need a cold beer and some lunch."

*

The restaurant was hidden down a tiny alley and as we ordered the drinks, I felt the tension drain away from me. We were here, there was nothing I could do and the last thing Richard wanted was for us to return home. I was in his hands and despite hating myself for my inaction, what else could I do?

"What are you thinking?" Richard looked at me over the rim of his glass and I smiled.

"I'm just realising I actually feel on holiday at the moment. For the first time."

"Good, I hope the feeling stays with you."

I looked around and watched the other diners. The restaurant was cosy and dark, a welcome relief after the heat of the day. Delicious smells wafted around us and I took a sip of my wine, the cool liquid easing the dryness of my throat. A French couple opposite were obviously on a clandestine meeting, their hands meeting over the table, their eyes locked on each other as they whispered and giggled.

"What are you looking at?" Richard asked, motioning to the waiter.

"Oh, that couple over there. They're almost eating each other."

Richard laughed and looked over. "I'd like to eat you," he whispered and I felt the desire twist inside me again. What had come over him? He never said anything like this to me, his liking for oral sex confined to enjoying it himself.

I raised my eyebrows at his words and he laughed again. "I knew you'd be surprised.

Why don't we go back to the hotel after this and see what happens?"

"What's up with you? You don't normally say things like that."

"Why does there have to be something "up" with me? We're on holiday, we have no kids, let's enjoy it."

"OK," I agreed, pouring out more wine for myself. Richard's words had had an effect on my body and I felt the beginnings of arousal stirring below. The thought of an afternoon spent making love was heaven, it happened so rarely.

The tension of the night before seemed to disappear as we ate our lunch and chatted about the plans for the next day. The vineyards of the Loire surrounded us and I was determined to take back at least a couple of bottles of Vouvray, even if it meant we never bought any more wine for the duration of the holiday.

Over dessert my attention returned to the other diners and I listened as Richard told me which vineyard he wanted to go to and which chateau was the best. The restaurant had emptied out as it was the middle of the afternoon and I noticed two men on the far side of the room. The light was particularly low, the owners aiming for a warm seductive atmosphere, but there was something familiar about the man with his back to me. His hair and broad shoulders made me catch my breath but as I ran through all the men I knew in my life, I became more puzzled. Willing them to get up and leave before we did I asked Richard if he looked familiar too.

"That man over there..."

Richard turned and followed my gaze. "Yes, what about him?"

"He looks familiar to me. Why?"

Richard turned back to me and shrugged his shoulders, but there was a strange look on his face that surprised me. "No idea, darling. How would we know someone here?"

"Well, we don't, but you look guilty Richard..."

He laughed. "Just your imagination, darling. I'm fine!"

I continued to look, the man facing me noticing my stare and meeting my gaze. He was attractive, his brown hair falling over his eyes while his face held an unmistakable air of intelligence and honesty. I felt another surge of attraction and quickly glanced away, but for the short time we had left in the restaurant, I felt his eyes go to me constantly.

*

After lunch, we collected the car and drove the short distance to the hotel. I felt pleasantly sleepy and hoped that a nap was in order after our disturbed night. Heaving the suitcase into the lift, my husband took me in his arms and kissed me.

"I haven't forgotten what I said, you know. Let's get unpacked and then relax."

Half an hour later, we were lying on the bed, the curtains drawn against the afternoon sun. Richard was lazily stroking my naked stomach, making small circles over my skin which was still damp from a shower, and I could feel the start of a delicious tingle deep within me. This was how I imagined our holiday to be, lazy afternoons spent together, recapturing the early days of our marriage, before the children came along and our lives became full of endless chores and stress. I could feel my nipples harden and an ache start deep inside me. I looked at my husband and he smiled before leaning down to kiss one of my breasts, his breath warm against my skin.

"Do you ever fantasise when we do this?" he asked as he kissed me, his tongue slowly licking around my areola and making me shiver.

I looked at him in surprise and felt myself grow warm. "No," I lied. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondered." He continued to lick his way down to my stomach and I opened my legs and felt the warm dampness there, my pussy aching to be touched.

It had been so long since this had happened. I couldn't remember the last time and it was something I did fantasise about, but how could I tell Richard my fantasies involved Jake?

I slowly stroked the mound of my vagina and felt that wonderful feeling start within me.

Delicious tingles of pleasure were streaming through my body and I arched my back, willing Richard to go lower.

"Mmm, I think you like this," he smiled and I moaned.

"Oh, yes. You know I do."

When his lips touched my labia I almost cried out with the intense pleasure. His warm breath made me open my legs even wider and I took his head and pressed him into me, feeling his tongue slip inside. It felt so good, so erotic to have him there between my legs, kissing me and giving me such a feeling of bliss. I lay back and closed my eyes, my hands lazily stroking my breasts as Richard worked away on my wet pussy, his tongue flicking over my clitoris and then probing deep within me, his fingers opening the folds of skin and laying me bare for his attention.

With two fingers and his tongue my husband brought me to an intense orgasm that had me crying out his name, this time all thoughts of Jake forgotten. I looked down as he held me tight and noticed his erection standing proud. I pulled him up to me and he entered me at once, his face showing the pleasure he was feeling. He thrust into me slowly at first and I savoured the feeling of his cock deep inside me. My pussy was still tingling from my orgasm and it felt wonderful as he repeatedly pushed into me, his rhythm smooth and steady.