Staring at the Sun Ch. 06

"Let me introduce you to Lisa," Mike said as he noticed my disquiet. "She's wonderful. I know you'll get on with her."

He led me over to another small table where a couple of women were chatting quietly. A pretty dark-haired woman turned to him with a smile and patted the seat next to her.

"Louise? Mike told me you were coming. How are you?"

I sank onto the padded chair and smiled at Mike's girlfriend. The atmosphere here was so much more relaxed and friendly and I wondered whether Lisa was a true friend of Jilly's or just an acquaintance.

"Did you have a good journey?"

I nodded and took another sip of my drink. "It's a long way though. I never realised France was so large."

Lisa told me about the house she shared with Mike near Avignon and I felt myself start to relax. The champagne was having an effect as well and I wanted to just go back to our room and sleep the afternoon away, hoping that when I awoke I would feel and look better. But I couldn't. I realised that I was now part of Jake's admiring audience and I would be expected to have a good time and enjoy myself. The freedom of our holiday was a distant memory and I shuddered at the thought of being with these people for the next six days.

"Have you met Jilly before?"

I realised Lisa was talking to me and jumped slightly. "No, I haven't, but Jake's talked about her quite a bit. She seems pleasant enough."

Lisa smiled. "Yes she is, but don't let her boss you around. Both of them like to surround themselves with crowds of people and she gets off on the fact that she's the perfect hostess. If you let her, she'll bully you into everything here."

I smiled and felt that I had an accomplice. "She's certainly a beautiful woman."

Lisa nodded. "She makes sure that a lot of Jake's salary is spent at their local health farm back home. Jake's always moaning but he puts up with it."

"What does Jake actually do?"

Lisa shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not really sure. Mike tells me he owns some sort of investment company in the City, but he's always down here or playing golf. And of course, Jilly doesn't work and never has."

I felt a shot of pure envy shoot through me at her words. Such an easy and charmed life they both seemed to have while we had to work hard for every penny we earned. And even that didn't seem to be enough.

"They love to entertain. A lot of the people here are ex-pats who live in the Dordogne full-time. There's only about eight of us staying in the house."

I breathed a sigh of relief at her words. I wasn't sure whether I could cope with this amount of people every day but was now glad that I had found an ally of sorts with Lisa. The other woman sitting with us was a friend from the village but she seemed to have the same opinion as Lisa. Every Brit who lived within a few miles radius of the Harpers had been sucked into their circle of friends whether they liked it or not.

The shadows lengthened as the afternoon turned into early evening and I went to find Richard who was now chatting to a short, stockily built man, dressed rather incongruously in a loud shirt and tight shorts. A fat cigar was wedged between his pudgy fingers and I shivered with distaste.

"Ah, Louise! Enjoying yourself?"

I nodded, watching Richard's companion as his eyes lit up. "I'm going to change and get ready for dinner. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, just give me another half hour and I'll join you. This is Rob, by the way."

Rob held out his clammy hand and I shook it, the touch of his skin making me flinch slightly. "Great to meet you, Louise. Your husband's been telling me about you."

I looked at Richard in surprise, wondering what he could have been saying about me that was so interesting. "Well, I need a shower and a change of clothes. I'll go and do the unpacking, shall I?"

Richard ignored my comment and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "I won't be long. I'll bring you a glass of champagne."

Rob laughed and looked me up and down, his gaze resting on my breasts and making me feel even grubbier than before. "I wouldn't leave her alone too long, Richard!"

I heard my husband laugh as I walked away and felt a quiver of dislike. Rob seemed too friendly with Richard for a first acquaintance and I wondered again whether this whole trip had been planned for a reason. The suspicion that I was just being used was growing stronger by the day...

*

Back in the room, I stripped off to my underwear and unpacked our suitcase. A lot of my clothes were badly creased from the journey but I picked out a dress for dinner that had always suited me, the tight bodice and full skirt making me feel feminine. Putting away Richard's trousers and shirts I had a sudden urge to check his pockets but knew that was being stupid. Perhaps I was being paranoid about this holiday, imagining all sorts and letting my mind carry me away with the doubts and suspicions. One thing I knew for sure was, however, that the lump in my breast was still there and I picked up my mobile and dialled my home number.

Listening to my daughter chat on about her day made tears spring to my eyes and I had a vision of the confusion on her face if I had to tell her I was seriously ill. I couldn't bear the thought of my children growing up without me and I sat down on the edge of the bed, forcing myself to remain calm and act normally. The problems with the business seemed to shrink and although I asked about how things were, my mother was predictably cheerful and dismissive.

"Just relax and enjoy yourselves. There'll be plenty of time when you get back to talk about how things are. Your father and I are fine, the kids are being angels and there's nothing to worry about."

How I longed to confide in her, but I couldn't. If Richard kept to our agreement, we would be on our way home this time next week, our disastrous holiday a thing of the past and I yearned for the days to go by quickly.

As I said my goodbyes and rang off, the door opened and Richard walked in, a smirk on his face as he saw me in just my underwear.

"Hi, darling. You OK?"

I nodded and went to make my way into the bathroom, a hot shower all I could think about now, but he grabbed me and kissed me hard on the lips.

"You looked lovely, Louise. All the men were envious."

"Don't be silly, Richard. There were enough attractive women there this afternoon to keep the whole of the Dordogne satisfied."

He held me tightly and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Don't put yourself down. You're beautiful."

I could see a repeat of yesterday happening and pulled away to go into the bathroom. "I'm having a shower. I really feel dirty."

Richard laughed and followed me into the bathroom as I took off my underwear. Turning on the shower I stepped inside and pulled the curtain along, enjoying the feel of the hot water cascading over my tired body. I closed my eyes and thought back over the afternoon, remembering my conversation with Lisa and her friendliness. I was glad she was there as Jilly had stayed with her bunch of cronies after our introduction and I hadn't spoken to Mike or Richard at all.

Soaping myself I turned and realised that Richard had joined me, his eyes alight with desire.

"Mmm, this feels good," he said as he grabbed the sponge and rubbed it over my back. I smiled but inside I felt a sense of dread build. I really didn't feel like being intimate with my husband but I knew that he was expecting more sex.

Moving closer he pressed himself into me, his arms wrapped around my shoulders while his hands caressed my breasts. I stiffened automatically and he noticed my reluctance, his semi-hard erection squashed up against my bottom.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," I murmured, squeezing some shampoo onto my hand and running it through my hair.

"You like your breasts played with, Louise. What's wrong?"

I suddenly wanted to tell him about the lump but I couldn't. Tears sprang to my eyes as I wished I had the sort of husband who would understand and soothe my worries away. Someone like Mike...

I felt his hands travel lower and brush against my vagina. His touch was practised but I didn't feel any arousal at all, just a vague sense of irritation as he continued to stroke and probe.

"You like this?"

I nodded, but knew that I was lying to him. I didn't want this at all but could see no way of stopping him now he was in full flow. The thought of Richard fondling me was just too much at the moment, so I turned to him and kissed him, my hands reaching down to stroke his cock.

He groaned into my mouth and I felt him grow beneath my touch. The water made it easy for me to glide my fingers up and down his thickening shaft and I kissed him deeply, our tongues mingling as the water gushed over us.

"Don't stop, Louise," I heard him moan, his hand seeking out my breasts, but I pushed them away, terrified that he would feel the small lump. I didn't want any dramatics now, I just wanted to get this over with and give him the release he was so desperate for.

I pulled away slightly but continued to caress and massage his hardness in my hands. Running my fingers over the tip, I encircled the ridge and tightened my grip, stroking smoothly downwards, my left hand playing with his balls. He groaned again and I kissed him, our mouths hot and needy as he tried to fondle me.

"No, no," I shushed into his mouth as I worked hard on him, my hands pumping up and down, feeling the exposed veins beneath my fingers, the wetness providing all the lubrication I needed.

"That feels good," he moaned and I smiled as I glanced at his face, his eyes closed as he concentrated on the pleasure I was giving him. "I needed this, Louise..."

"I know, shush," I murmured as I started to stroke quicker, my hands tightening even more, my fingers brushing the tip of his penis while my palm slid effortlessly up and down.

"Put me in your mouth," he groaned and I looked at him in surprise, his face screwed up with desire, his hands reaching for my shoulders and applying pressure for me to sink to my knees.

I did as he asked and kneeled in front of him, the water hammering down on my head as I took him into my mouth. He was warm, smooth and wet beneath my lips and I sucked on the head of his penis, my tongue swirling around the tiny hole at the tip before licking the length of him.

"Oh God, yes..."

Grasping his thighs, I took as much of him into my mouth as I could and sucked hard, my teeth grazing his skin slightly as I moved my head up and down. I knew he was close now and I felt him tense up, his body pushing his cock harder into me as his feelings intensified.

The first spurt of semen caught me at the back of my throat and I swallowed quickly, the warm gush tasting salty as I wrapped my lips around his shaft. Above me, Richard was moaning and another spurt found its way down my throat as I licked and sucked on him. His hands were a vice-like grip on my shoulders and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable kneeling on the hard floor of the shower basin.

"Louise...oh God, that was good."

I looked up at my husband to see him smiling at me, his features relaxed now as he came down from his orgasm. I stood up shakily and he kissed me, no doubt tasting his own juices on my tongue.

"I'm sorry...I needed that so badly."

"It's OK," I replied rinsing my hair under the water, my lower regions aroused despite my earlier reluctance.

"I'll make it up to you." He kissed me and quickly soaped himself before reaching for one of the thick fluffy towels stacked up next to the shower cubicle.

Turning the water off, I wrapped myself in a towel and went into the bedroom to see Richard lying on the bed, a glass of champagne in his hand.

"I've brought you one, too," he said, pointing to a flute standing on the bedside table. "Dinner's at eight."

"I sank down onto the bed and lifted the glass to my lips. The earlier intake of alcohol had worn off and I felt the cold liquid hit my empty stomach, a sudden light-headedness making me close my eyes with the dizziness.

"Are all those people going to be there for dinner?"

"No," Richard assured me. "They were leaving as I came back. Just eight of us, I think. Nice cosy number."

I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes, the room spinning slightly as I imagined the evening ahead. I felt Richard lean over and stroke my upper chest and stopped myself from wincing, his fingers making small circles over my warm skin.

"Richard, please..."

I looked at him and saw the hurt in his eyes. "Just thought I would relax you, that's all."

"I know, but I really don't feel like it at the moment. I'm just so tired."

I felt him swing his legs to the floor and watched as he stood up, his towel dropping to the floor. "I'm going to get dressed and then I'll see you on the terrace. OK?"

I nodded and fell back onto the pillows, my eyes closing as I relaxed into the bed. What would I give to just stay here now? To curl up under the heavy sheets and drift off to sleep, all my worries shelved for the time being, a long sleep of nothingness...

"Don't fall asleep," Richard warned as he buttoned his shirt. "We're expected in twenty minutes."

"Expected?"

"Uh-huh. Strict orders."

I turned and buried myself deeper into the mound of pillows, wanting desperately to hide and just forget the whole experience that awaited me. The long evening of small talk, the endless prying and probing about our circumstances.

"Right, I'm off. See you in a minute, hey?"

I waved my hand at him in a gesture of dismissal without looking up and knew he was watching me from the door.

"Don't let me down tonight, Louise. Promise me?"

I nodded, my head barely visible from under the huge pillow and felt my stomach churn.

*

At exactly the agreed time I locked the door of our room and made my way over the gravelled courtyard to the main house. The sun was low in the sky and swarms of insects buzzed around me, the warm night air full of the smells of cooking.

At the end of the narrow walkway I paused for a second and smoothed out my dress again. It was a beautiful jade colour, the tight bodice decorated with tiny pearls that shimmered in the evening light. The low neck revealed the tops of my breasts and I was finally happy with the way I looked, my skin luminous in the dusky light. A heavy aqua stone necklace nestled in my cleavage and the shower had softened the skin on my face, smoothing out the lines of worry that had appeared over the last few days.

With my hair washed and teased into loose curls, I felt more confident than I had this afternoon. But would my husband give me the attention I needed?

The group of people was smaller this time and I walked towards the table, smiling at Lisa as she glanced my way. Mike was standing behind her and I could see the look in his eyes as he watched me approach, his smile warm and friendly. There was no sign of Richard or Jilly, but the other couple, who turned out to be the smarmy Rob and his pretty dumpy wife, were chatting to Jake, their laughter carrying in the peace of the night.

"Hi! You look gorgeous," smiled Mike as he handed me another glass of champagne and planted a kiss on my cheek. "Richard's no fool, is he?"

I laughed and accepted the glass, wondering where my husband was. He'd promised to stay close to me this evening and already he had disappeared. "Where's Richard?"

"He's gone with Jilly to look at the vines. I think he's got it into his head that he's going to buy somewhere down here and start a vineyard!"

I laughed along with the others but I felt a growing unease. What was my husband playing at?

It was almost half an hour before Jilly and Richard re-appeared, his arm around her waist as they made their way over to us. She was gazing into his eyes as he spoke animatedly to her and I recognised the expression on his face from earlier. Had my husband been on the phone to Jilly when he said he'd been talking to my father?

Dinner was a long, drawn-out affair with Jake and Jilly holding court like Lord and Lady of the Manor. The heavy oak dining table was sumptuously decorated with a starched linen tablecloth, clusters of candles and beautiful china and occupied pride of place in a long low-ceilinged room with views of the terrace and the fields of vines beyond. An ancient stone fireplace at one end was full of family photographs and the three dogs quietly snoozed on the rug, their presence adding to the homely feel of the room.

Most of the cooking had been done by Jilly's French housekeeper who served the meal and kept our glasses full of the rich red wine that Jake produced from his vines. I sat opposite my husband but he was engrossed in talking to Lisa on one side and Jilly on the other while I struggled to talk to Rob who was seated next to me, his leering eyes resting on my cleavage every so often and making me cringe. He only seemed to want to talk about his business and I felt sorry for his poor wife Diana who had to put up with him full-time. His monotonous voice droned on and I felt angry that he was acting as a barrier to Mike who was entertaining Diana and Jake at the far end of the table.

Jilly still remained elusive, her attention wholly focused on my husband throughout the meal and she barely said a word to anyone else, her hand occasionally resting on Richard's arm while she simpered and laughed her way through the evening. As coffee was served everyone moved out onto the terrace and I realised I was alone in the room with Mike.

"Stay there," he said, pouring me another large glass of wine. "You look so unhappy Louise. Not really the sort of holiday you had planned, is it?"

I shook my head, the wine making me feel reckless. I was enormously attracted to this man and his caring attitude was addictive. I wanted to sit and confide in him but felt it wasn't fair on either him or Lisa.

"You know, you can tell me, Louise," he said as if sensing my thoughts. "I know we've only just met, but I have this strange feeling with you. It's difficult to explain."

I hesitated and watched as the dogs yawned and stretched, my hands twisting a napkin into a tight spiral.

Mike noticed what I was doing and took the creased linen from me, his hands holding mine. He felt so warm and capable and I didn't know whether he was just being kind to me or whether he felt the same attraction as I did.

"Tell me," he urged. "I may not be able to help, but I can listen."

And so I poured out all the anxieties and worries I'd been feeling over the past few days; my marriage problems, Richard's news about the business, the lump I'd found in my breast. He sat and listened to me, never interrupting, just holding my hands as I finally gave vent to the frustrations and fears inside me.

When I ground to a halt, the tears glinting in my eyes, he kissed me softly on the cheek and then the lips, his touch making me melt inside. He held my hands tighter and leaned his head against mine so I could smell his clean scent. He held me close and we stayed like that for a long while, saying nothing, just enjoying the caring togetherness that made me feel better than any words could ever have done.

A loud bark from one of the dogs finally interrupted us and Mike took my face in his hands, kissing me again on the lips. "I'm here, Louise. Never forget that, OK?"

I nodded and kissed him back, but as I reluctantly pulled away I saw Rob standing by the open terrace door, a strange look on his face. He smiled - a nasty leer that told me he'd been watching us for a while and I saw Mike's face turn pale with shock. With a short laugh, Rob turned and walked back onto the terrace and the feeling of contentment I'd just experienced vanished like a candle snuffed out in the wind.