Staring Into the Abyss

The two sat for awhile without speaking. They were gorged with emotion, but starved for words. Finally, John spoke again.

"The doctor said to just take it a step at a time."

"I think that the doctor's wrong." Rose said. "I think that we should answer this for ourselves before you talk to him on Thursday."

"What do you want me to say, Rose?"

"Nothing right now." She said. "We're not ready to talk about it. We'll sleep on it tonight and discuss it later. We have three days."

After another silence Rose spoke again.

"Whatever it is, we have to be together on it. There can be no regrets. We'll live with it for better or worse, just like we always have. It may be hard, but we'll find a way to take care of it. We've had harder times than this."

At that moment John knew that, despite his impotence, he had just received a gift that some men never dare hope for. The gift was Rose. It wasn't just her body or her desire. It wasn't only her devotion to him or her caring. It transcended her needing and wanting him. It was all of her. She encircled all that a woman can in desire, love and devotion and placed it in him. He realized that it had always been his. He felt himself foolish to have ever doubted or abused it. He knew that he would never have to stop and look behind him to make sure that she was still there. He no longer thought himself damaged or impaired. Rose made him whole.

"Rose, I'm a lucky man to have you." His statement failed in eloquence, but it satisfied her.

She stood and kissed him on the forehead. "We're both tired." she said. "We can talk later."

She silently cleared the dishes, happily singing to herself. Now, she was certain, John knew that she was in him.

*************

On Wednesday night they retired early. It was not because they were tired. They had promised themselves an answer. They wanted to lie together. They never tired of being in bed together. They lay together nude.

They had no unreal expectations. It was warm; no covers were needed. The fresh air on their bodies felt good; the contact of bare skin was comforting. They caressed, not in a sexual way at first. They spooned on their sides.

After a time John reached around Rose to caress a breast. Rose felt him do it. She was unsure if it was right, but it felt good and she didn't stop him. Before, she would have welcomed this first move. After the explosion of the other night, she was unsure how she would respond. She craved the pleasure that she knew he could give her, but it was hard to accept the taking of delights without a way to give them.

"Rose, you've always had nice ones," she heard in his deep voice behind her. She had heard it many times before. It seemed like old times. Her nipples were stiffening despite her misgivings. She decided to allow herself an indulgence. She let the pleasure seep into her. It was so relaxing. She had done without it for so long. John continued, serving one breast, then another. Rose felt herself moistening.

John's hand left Rose's breasts and stroked its way down her body past her hip. It finally rested on her flank and he cupped her cheek. His penis rested in the crevice of her buttocks and despite his softness he felt some pleasure at the contact.

Rose wondered how far he would go. It felt good to have his hand probing her, his penis contacting her. She thought for a moment to just allow him to take her wherever he wanted to and enjoy the ride. His caresses were so practiced and filled with predictable pleasure. Part of her told her to stop, but she could not leave the welcome delight behind. By now his hand had reached into her vulva and was probing all her right places.

"John, it feels good," she uttered languidly.

John didn't answer. He only increased his motions with expert precision. The end of his penis, still lodged in her crevice was sending warm pleasure to his brain. Her small movements against his hand increased it. He sensed small rushes that once had signaled an impending hardening. Despite the sensations, it remained flaccid.

"John, how will you get your satisfaction?" she asked.

John had no answer. He hadn't thought of it and didn't know. He only kept at her in silence.

She repeated. "John, how will you get your satisfaction?"

"I don't know, Rose; I just know that I have to do this for you."

Only when he gave the answer did he understand his own emotion. He was man, the provider. He furnished shelter and food. Pleasure would be his task, as well. No one in his charge would go without it. It brought him satisfaction. He continued.

Her moans and movements grew stronger. His answer had portrayed the strength of his instincts. His primal drive unleashed her own as she allowed herself to give in to her passion. Soon he felt her hold her breath and tense every muscle. She released her breath with a pleasured sigh and John knew that Rose had climaxed. His work was done.

**************

She turned to face him and affectionately kissed him.

"Thank you, John. That was very nice!"

"I'm glad that I could do it for you, Rose."

"I wish that I could do something for you, John"

"I know Rose, but look at me; I'm so pathetic."

Rose pushed John on his back. She propped herself on her elbows and hovered over him.

"You must never say that again! You are not pathetic! You never have been. I won't allow you to say that. Promise me now that you won't!"

"I'm sorry, Rose. It's just self pity. I won't happen again."

Nothing was said for a few minutes as Rose rested her head on his shoulder. His answer satisfied her.

After a little while she spoke, "It's too bad you can't feel any pleasure. You always liked this."

She reached down and with the gentle pads of her fingertips caressed the soft skin on the underside of his scrotum. She drew her fingers slowly and lightly over it many times, and then repeated the motion with the tips of her nails. He spread his thighs apart to allow better access. It inspired her to keep the contact going.

"Oh Rose, that is so good. Please don't stop."

She kept her fingers going on him, but rose up from his shoulder. She leaned forward and brushed her hanging breasts across his face. She bent down, her lips brushing his earlobe, and whispered to him.

"Perhaps, I no longer excite you."

Before he could answer she was over him again, dipping a hard nipple into his eager lips.

John threw his arms around her shoulders and devoured the breast. What she had said was untrue; hard or soft, she surely excited him.

Rose continued to caress his sack, but pulled her breast away from his hungry lips. She eased her body down his.

Gently, she took the bulb of his glans between her lips. Although it was soft the feeling thrilled him. She carefully suckled him, testing for the depth and pressure that would best suit him.

From John's increased panting and his forward-arched pelvis she knew that her efforts were bearing fruit. She continued as his passion grew. She felt herself remoistening and understood the pleasure that her husband had felt as he sated her earlier. She had no idea how long she would continue, or to where their activity would lead them. She abandoned all expectations, preferring to act and respond.

John's hands were on her head and he pressed up at her. She was suddenly surprised that he hardened as she held him in her mouth. From his movements and breathing, Rose knew John was approaching climax. It gave her an excitement that she had never known. For a moment she was tempted to halt the fellatio and impale herself on him. She thought better of it, lest she risk losing the surprise erection.

An impulse struck her. She kept him firmly in her mouth and pivoted over him. She swung her leg over, presenting her sex to him. He threw his arms around her hips and thrust his tongue into her. She felt her climax start. She moaned her pleasure on his organ. It started John's orgasm. His semen erupted into her mouth and she gratefully swallowed every drop.

She lay atop him for some minutes while they both recovered.

She climbed down and retook her place along side him.

"Rose, I wouldn't mind doing that a few hundred more times again before I die."

"You old coot!" she retorted. "If we did it one more time before the end of the week you would probably die of exertion."

"Try me!" he said.

"We'll see." She pulled a sheet over them and they fell asleep together.

*****************

On the following morning John's doctor called to tell him to pick up his prescription.

John told him of the prior night's success.

The doctor explained that he was not surprised. Periodic recoveries would come and go. In time, they would become less frequent and strong. In the meantime, they would work to straighten out his dosage.

John sat back relaxing. Rose had been right. They had pulled through together. Separately, they could not have done so. They had uncovered fields in each other that had lain fallow, even through their long years together. He wondered what more awaited discovery.

They had stood at the edge of the precipice staring into the abyss. The view had not been what they expected.

THE END

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, I welcome your comments and questions.

Autumn Writer