Still Lost in Space Ch. 02

"Well of course, how do think I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?"

Kirk sighed. "Look Mr. Scott, Spock's discovered another ship in the void with us but it's nearly a light-year away. We need the warp drive to get us there, so take the stills off-line and divert the power back to the helm."

"Well you don't have to get all pissy about it. You put your pants on the same way I do. I'll have you know I was just working on the bottle you ordered for tonight. You have the tight assed bimbo from transporter room three coming to your quarters, remember? You said the last time you had her over, you needed to get her to drink half a bottle to get her out of her red tunic."

Sulu, Chekov and McCoy burst out laughing. Uhura covered her ears and Spock just stared off into the distance.

"Lower your voice, Mr. Scott," warned Kirk.

"Why? Ya gonna come down here and spank me or somethin'? Save that for the candy ass coming over tonight," he quipped.

"Look Scotty, just take them off-line long enough to get us to that ship."

"Oh, it's Scotty now. A moment ago it was Mr. Scott this and Mr. Scott that. Make up your fucking mind!"

"Scotty, have you been drinking?"

"What else do I got to do down here?"

"Just get me that power please?"

"Well, your bottle's going to be late..." Scott replied and closed the channel.

Kirk silently counted to ten and said, "Sulu, try it again."

Sulu slouched back down in his seat and hit the command. This time the groan from the engines was from the full power of dilithium focused matter and antimatter driving the ship into the other space known as sub-space. The ship's vibration increased as the ship sped its way to seven hundred and eighty times the speed of light. Sulu had a smile a foot wide on his face.

"What's our ETA Mr. Chekov?" Kirk asked.

"Ten hours, Sir," he replied.

"Good, that leaves me with some time for...uh...what's her name again?" he asked, snapping his fingers repeatedly.

"Who, Sir?" asked Spock.

"The technician from transporter room three," replied Kirk.

"Candy Ass," quipped Chekov.

"Right, Ensign Candy Ass," Sulu chimed in.

"Thanks guys," Kirk sneered as he headed toward the turbolift. McCoy stopped him and held out his hand. There was something in it.

"What's that?" asked Kirk.

"Tic-Tacs," replied the doctor.

* * *Back on the Jupiter 2* * *

There was a knock on Will's door. He'd been sleeping, dreaming of the vision of the 'little angel' that left. The knock came again and he answered the door. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you William, but I want you to know that... that... Gumby was lying about what I wanted," whispered Smith through the crack in the door.

"Dr. Smith, I don't care what it is that turns you on. To each their own, you know?"

"It's just... it's just that it was my turn!" growled Smith through clenched teeth.

"I don't know what to tell you," said Will as he yawned.

"Earlier, I could swear I heard the Major talking to someone on the radio," said Smith, hoping to get Will's attention.

"What?" asked Will, stifling another yawn.

"I'm sure I heard him conversing with another ship," cooed Smith.

"Why didn't he say anything!" shouted Will.

"I don't know, except it seemed he was more interested in what the girl he was conversing with was wearing rather than gathering information."

"Fucking asshole," Will muttered. He tossed open the accordion door and shouted, "Dad! We've got company!"

* * * A few minutes later on the top level * * *

"This is Professor John Robinson, Commander of the Earth ship Jupiter 2, does anyone read?" Everyone was waiting in a circle around the radio as the Professor repeated his call into the microphone as static came from the speakers. He looked at Don and started to swing the mic in a circular motion. "You know, I should hit you over the head with this."

"Hey, I was just having some fun," West replied.

"Such an asshole," mutter Judy. She turned to her Father and asked, "Dad, do know where your staple gun is?"

The professor leered at West and replied, "Sure I do and when I'm done here I'll get it for you."

Will leaned in for only the Major to hear and said, "If I were you, I'd make a steel chastity belt real quick or hide down in the reactor core."

West looked at the Father and Daughter smirking at each other and decided to take Will's advice. Slowly he stepped backward to the ladder as Robinson repeated his hails on the radio. Just as he placed his back foot on the rung...

"Warning, warning, we have a runner!" bellowed the Robot.

"Where're you going? Get your perverted butt back over here," barked Robinson.

"...Jupiter 2, this is the Starship Enterprise, Lieutenant Uhura speaking. In response to your previous query, I am wearing tall leather black boots, a standard Star Fleet issue biodegradable red tunic that ends at my upper thighs, standard biodegradable black bra and black panties. Does this satisfy your query?"

Robinson nearly collapsed with the response. He didn't expect anything at all. "Yes, miss Uhura, I apologize for..."

"That's Lieutenant Uhura. I'm fifth in command of this Federation Starship."

"Bitch," muttered Don by the ladder.

"That's enough out of you," sneered Robinson and then turned his attention back to the radio. "Lieutenant Uhura, this is Professor John Robinson of the Earth ship Jupiter 2. We've been lost out here for over a dozen years..."

* * * On the Enterprise * * *

"...We've been lost out here for over a dozen years..." Robinson's voice said over the comm.

"Did he identify the ship as the Jupiter 2?" asked Spock.

"Aye Sir," replied Uhura.

Spock made his way to the computer terminal and began a search.

"Veren't there a few Jupiter missions before the Eugenics wars began?" asked Chekov.

Sulu perked up. "Right! They were to colonize Alpha Centauri. None of the three attempts made it."

"The first Jupiter was a test craft that failed. The third Jupiter never launched as the Eugenic wars began. Only the Jupiter 2 made successful liftoff in October 1997 but disappeared from Earth's tracking stations as major malfunctions began at sixteen hours after launch. It's been missing since then and presumed destroyed," said Spock, as he switched off his computer terminal.

"But he just said they'd been lost for a dozen years," said Chekov, looking back at Uhura.

"We've been stuck in this void for a while now and we're hoping you can help us find a way out of it..."

Shit, they don't know how to get out either," mumbled Sulu.

"I think it's time we informed the Captain." Spock turned toward Uhura and said, "Lieutenant, please get the Captain on the comm."

"Aye Sir," she replied. She pushed a few buttons then said, "Bridge to Captain Kirk...."

Sulu looked at his chronometer and whispered to Chekov, "Isn't he with Ensign Candy Ass right now?"

Chekov nodded his head.

"Oh man, you know how he gets when he's interrupted," moaned Sulu.

* * * In Kirk's quarters * * *

"Yes that's right Ensign, a full house beats a straight," said Kirk, leaning back in his chair and admiring the scantily clad young woman, just a year out of the Academy.

"I can't believe I lost again. I don't have much left to take off and all you've lost is your boots," she said, pouting and hoping that he'd relent.

Kirk noted that she was down to a bra and her standard issue biodegradable panties. There wasn't much of interest about her boobs since she was basically flat chested, but he remembered that remarkable ass from the last time she was in his quarters. So far, it didn't seem that she even remembered that evening. He did manage to get a half a bottle of Scotty's hooch poured down her throat that night to loosen her up. Maybe that was why she didn't remember. He poured another glass of the unfinished bottle delivered to him a few hours before and held it out to her. She was on her third glass and he'd barely touched his first. "I'm sorry Ensign..."

"Weston, Julia Weston," she finished for him. "Why don't you remember my name?"

"The pressure of command Julia, and you did lose, so it's time to take something else off," Kirk said, looking apologetic, but not letting her off the hook.

"Okay," she said, standing. "What do you want me to take off?"

Kirk was getting worked up thinking about her butt. "How about turning around and removing..."

The Bosum's whistle went off."Bridge to Captain Kirk..."

Kirk shook his head. "Shit," he mumbled. "Hold that thought Ensign," he said, moving over to his comm center. He pushed a button and bellowed, "WHAT?"

* * * Back on the bridge * * *

"WHAT?" came the reply through all the speakers on the bridge. Uhura raised her hands up at Spock and shook her head, indicating she wasn't having any part of this conversation.

"Spock here, Captain."

"Spock, you know to never call me here."

"Sir, we've established contact with that vessel we detected earlier and it identifies itself as the Jupiter 2," Spock stated, as if that was all that needed to be said.

"So, what do you want me to take off, the bra or panties?" Ensign Weston could be heard saying.

"Slut," Uhura said, under her breath. Sulu and Chekov shook their heads.

"Bra," said Chekov, placing a five-credit chip on the navigation station.

"You're on," answered Sulu, tossing a chip on his helm. "Panties baby, she's got a great ass."

Chekov slapped his forehead with his hand. "That's right, it's Ensign Candy Ass!"

"Just hold on a second Ensign. Uh, the Jupiter 2? Weren't those things launched in the 1990's?"

"Correct Captain. 1997 to be exact."

"How long before we reach their ship?" asked Kirk.

"Another five hours, Sir."

"Well, that's plenty of time to figure out what to do when we greet them," Kirk said.

"Sir, they have hailed us. We have responded and under protocol, you should talk to the Commander of their ship," said Spock, getting formal with his Captain.

Kirk's sigh was audible. "Okay, patch it down to my quarters Uhura, please."

She punched a few buttons and said, "Go ahead, Captain."

"Jupiter 2, this is James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise. We are on route to your position and should arrive within the next five hours. In the mean time, allow my crew a chance to rest so that when we meet, we will be refreshed and ready to discuss anything you desire."

"Captain, time to choose, panties or bra..."

"Uh, panties... Kirk out."

Sulu collected the chips on the console and pocketed them.

"Uh, okay, I guess," said Robinson over the channel."We'll meet in five hours...Jupiter 2 out."

"Captain, I believe we should..." started Spock.

"Spock, we've got five hours," came the Kirk's voice over the comm.

"Sir, either that ship is two hundred and fifty years old or we are both trapped in a time void. They have either come forward in time or we've gone backward."

"Alright Spock, meet me in the conference room in two hours. Have Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, Mr. Scott, and Doctor McCoy meet us there as well," ordered Kirk over the comm.

"I'll see that all are notified, Captain," replied Spock.

As he reached for the button to close the channel he heard Kirk say, "Oh, very impressive, Ensign. Now try touching your toes..." Spock closed the channel.

"Thank you," mumbled Uhura under breath.

Sulu leaned over to Chekov and whispered, "Man, what I would give to see the sweet ass on her."

Chekov fished in his pocket a moment and produced a small screen pad. "Check this out," he whispered to Sulu as he turned it on. An image of the young Ensign's ass swaying back and forth filled the screen.

"What the..." Sulu chuckled.

"I put a sticky cam on the Captain's shirt before he left the bridge," whispered Chekov, as he heard the turbo lift doors open. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed that the Doctor had returned to the bridge. "Doctor McCoy, could you come over here a moment?"

"Sure Chekov, what seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor as he headed in his direction.

"This," Chekov replied, pointing to the small screen he and Sulu were watching while trying to conceal it from the rest of the bridge crew.

"Is that Ensign Candy Ass?" whispered McCoy. The navigator and the helmsman both nodded. Just then, the Ensign bent way over for Kirk and the voyeurs on the bridge. Sulu moaned.

"Are you quite alright over there Lieutenant Sulu?" asked Spock from his station.

"Yes Sir," he replied, snapping upright in his seat.

Spock wandered over, stood next to McCoy, and peered over his shoulder. "Is that what I think it is, Mr. Chekov?"

"I'm not sure vhat you think it is, Sir," he replied.

"Is this a live transmission?" Spock asked.

"Aye Sir."

"Wouldn't this make watching it much easier for everyone?" Spock asked, making a few adjustments to Sulu's controls. He pushed the last button and Ensign Julia Weston's candy ass was up on the view screen, bigger than life.

"Vhat a great ass," sighed Chekov.

"My, oh my," moaned Sulu.

"Good muscle tone," McCoy chimed in.

"Indeed," agreed Spock.

"What the hell?" bellowed Uhura, jumping to her feet. "What are you doing? Turn that off this instant!"

"We were just admiring the excellent physical condition of the Ensign, Miss Uhura," replied the Doctor using his southern gentlemanly charm.

"Yes and her personal hygiene appears impeccable," noted Spock.

"That does it. I'm going to my quarters and having a drink," she said, heading to the lift.

"I'll go with you," replied Sulu, heading to the lift as well.

"Back off, pervert," she snapped, pointing a finger at him in warning as the doors whooshed shut.

"Sulu, check it out, she's using her fingers now."

"No wait, she's got a data wafer in her hand. Don't tell me she's gonna..."

"I hope she sterilized that before she uses it in a manner not recommended by Star Fleet."

"I trust it does not contain important information, seeing as the data is most assuredly being corrupted at this moment."

"Oww," they exclaimed, as the wafer was suddenly thrust up her pucker.

"I better get back to sickbay, something tells me I'm gonna have an emergency extraction to perform."

* * * Back on the Jupiter 2 * * *

"Why wouldn't they talk to us?" asked Robinson.

"I don't know. Maybe they've got a ship load of little kids that need their nappy time," sneered Judy.

"I don't care, it's a ship and they can help us," said Penny.

"Who asked you, Vacuum Butt?" griped Will.

"Now Will, leave your sister's anus out of this," chided Maureen.

"Dad, the staple gun?" asked Judy.

Robinson shot the Major a huge grin. "I'll get it for you honey."

"No way," mumbled the Major and headed to the stairs.

"Halt," commanded the Robot as energy crackled from his claws and cut off the Majors escape route.

"I thought you liked me," huffed West.

"Not particularly," replied the metal man.

"You just better watch you back, Robot," growled West.

"My sensors work in all directions, Major," replied the Robot.

"Oh Don!" came Judy's voice in a singsong fashion from below. "Come on down!"

"There's no way I'm going down that ladder," stated West just before the Robot pushed him to the hole and down he went.

"You're going to be sorry, Robot!" shouted West from below.

"Not likely," muttered the tin man.

"I'm going below, are you coming Maureen?" asked the Professor.

"Are we going to be doing anything other than talking?" she asked, with sarcasm so thick it made Will and Penny wince.

"Well, It said that you like it all night long. How about an hour or so instead?"

Her reply was to shove her husband into the lift and slap the down button. "See you kids later."

"Okay, now what do we do?" asked Penny.

"I think I'm just going to take a nap," replied Will, heading for the ladder.

"Sounds good," Penny replied and followed Will down.

The Robot stood still near the suspended animation tubes as Smith stood alone by the radio. Smith looked over at the Robot and wondered what it was thinking. Soon he was lost in his own imagination as to what would be transpiring at that very moment if 'Guy' hadn't taken 'Gumby' away.

A blood-curdling scream came from below causing Smith's heart to skip a beat.

"Oh mother fucker...Judy you fucking promised not to do that!"

Judy's voice could be heard but the words were intelligible coming from the lower deck.

Another scream followed causing Smith to head for the lift. "Well Booby, it looks like I'm going to be needed. Do we have a staple remover onboard?"

"I do not believe so, Doctor Smith. However, I recommend a screw driver or a claw hammer," the Robot replied.

"I'll relay your concern to the Major and convey best wishes on your part," said Smith as he disappeared down the lift.

West screamed again.

"Come on Judy, one more," muttered the Robot.

Another scream.

"Yes! Thank you, thank you. My kind of gal," said the Robot gleefully.

* * * An hour or so later below * * *

Smith was seated in the galley drinking some Earl Grey, still in shock at all the staples he'd removed from the Major and the bulkhead. He'd given him a local pain-killer and a sedative. Judy was banished topside until West could defend himself again. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Penny heading toward Will's cubicle. She was carrying something under her arm.

'Here we go,' thought Smith.

Penny knocked on her brother's door.

The door opened a crack. "What?" Will said.

"Can I come in?" asked Penny.

"I guess," answered Will, opening the door enough for her to enter and then snapped it shut.

"Better keep the medicine bag handy," Smith muttered between sips.

*

"What have you got in the bag?" asked Will.

"In a minute. We need to talk," said his big sister.

Will motioned for her to take a seat in his chair by his desk and he flopped on his cot. Penny sat the bag down on the floor. "Okay, what?"

"Look, I know you think I'm a pervert..."

"No, a fucked up in the head individual," Will corrected her.

"Okay, whatever, but I can't go on the rest of this voyage without someone to help me with..."

"Oh no..."

"Wait! Hear me out. You don't want to still be jerking off when you're thirty do you?"

"No but..."

"Like it or not, I've got the same problem Will." She leaned closer to him and lowered her voice. "Why don't we call a truce? Whenever you're horny, let me know and I'll come here and give you a handjob."

Will stared at her.

"Or a blowjob, if that's what you'd prefer," she said reluctantly, upping the ante to try to win him over.

"Let me get this straight; you want to milk my doodle and in return I shove a baseball bat up your ass?" he asked, not believing those words just came out of his mouth.

"Something like that," she replied with a small smile on her face.

Will looked away from his sister and gave the proposal some real thought. "You know, we're going to be rendezvousing with that ship in a few hours. There might be someone on it that you may like and shares your...fetish," he said, without any sarcasm.

"Maybe," she answered, looking down to the floor. "You know Dad's never going to abandon the Jupiter and he won't let us either. So, after our encounter with them, we'll be back on our merry lost way."

"You don't know that," replied Will turning back to face her.

"Will, the only way we're getting off this ship for good is if we return to Earth or make it to Alpha Centauri."

Will knew she was right, he'd just refused to acknowledge the thought before she mentioned it. "Okay, your argument makes sense. What's in the bag?"

"You mean you agree?"

Will nodded. "What's in the bag?" he asked again.