Still You Want Me Ch. 08

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* * *

Buzz.

I can feel my phone vibrating while I'm attending an early dinner with some of my father's associates. It's a social call, I invited Colin, but he wants nothing to do with it.

Ah, Colin! It's been two weeks since the Club incident and things have been so good. Between work, working out, and Thursday night karaoke, we're spending a lot of time together.

I've been strong about not staying the night or doing anything physical. I'm respecting Colin's need to make sure his feelings are valid. I really want this to work between us and I'm doing everything I can, to not fuck it up. He's starting to get frustrated with me, but honestly, I'm afraid I'm a replacement for Jesse and that terrifies me.

Buzz.

[Colin] There's a water leak at home, can you come help me?

What the—?

What am I supposed to do? I've never used a screwdriver, let alone fixed a water leak. Where do you even start? I politely apologize to guests for texting at dinner.

[Charles] I don't know anything about that stuff, call a plumber.

[Colin] Shut the fuck up and come. I'm frustrated and need you.

Seriously? I'm literally no help at all, but it's Colin and I can't say no.

[Charles] Okay, I'm almost done with dinner. I'll be there in about forty minutes?

[Colin] Sure, don't rush or anything! It's not like it's an emergency. Damn!

Thank God he's cute because once you break his barrier, he's kind of a jerk with a potty mouth. I apologetically excuse myself from dinner for an emergency I can do nothing about.

* * *

Colin has given me the code to his door so I can let myself in anytime I want. The door tends to slam so it's become a habit to make sure I gently close it behind me. As I start up the stairs, I can hear an Ed Sheeran song playing, maybe Perfect Duet? I don't know, Colin's the music guy, but this isn't his normal playlist for doing home renovations.

I step into the laundry room, hear voices, and instantly stop when I recognize a voice I don't want to hear. The laundry room is fairly dark, allowing me privacy as I peek into the kitchen.

Oh. My. God!

I see Colin standing between the kitchen and the living room and Jesse's leaning forward so his forehead is resting on Colin's. Colin's half naked and there's little candles everywhere, so romantic.

"I'm such an idiot for leaving."

What in God's holy name is happening?

"Yeah, it's true."

Colin mumbles something else to Jesse, but I can't make it out. The blood is pounding in my ears. Jesse puts his hands around Colin's waist and pulls him closer.

Why isn't Colin stopping him?

"I should go before Charles comes. I love you so much! I really really do!"

Get the fuck out of here!

My stomach drops as Colin reaches up and cups Jesse's face and, for a moment, I think I might actually get sick.

"I know, and I love you, too. I always have."

My heart shatters into a million pieces as I can't believe Colin's response! He's still in love with Jesse!

I turn and leave the moment I see their lips touch because I can't watch anymore! There's no point in disrupting what they're doing, either, because Colin has made his choice. I let the door slam behind me because I don't care about being polite anymore.

When did Jesse get back? Why? Obviously, for Colin. I never stood a chance. It's always been Jesse. I pull out of the garage as Colin steps onto the street and tries to wave me down, but I pay no attention. I need to get far away from here...fast!

Fuck you, Colin.

* * COLIN * *

I yell at Brett.

"What do you mean he's taking a vacation?!"

"He called me Saturday. He has a bunch of vacation and personal time off days and he got a short notice exception from Human Resources. He said he'll be back next Monday. I figured you knew about it since you two are joined at the hip."

"Does it look like I know anything?"

I roll my eyes and storm out of his office.

After Charles left, Saturday, I repeatedly tried to call him, but he continually sent me to voicemail until, finally, his phone died. I'm assuming it died because he never turns it off. He wouldn't, right?

I went to his house, but he want there, so I waited. When he didn't show, I waited longer. I didn't get home until two thirty in the morning.

Sunday was a rinse and repeat. I repeatedly called his phone, even though it always went to voicemail, I sent him numerous texts, and I waited at his house.

God, he looked so hurt. I wish he'd let me explain!

Did he really leave?

* * *

Definition of Hell Week: When Charlie leaves town, unannounced, for presumably eight days and won't return any of your correspondences or give you a chance to explain things.

Let me explain! It's not what it looks like!

I hate how that sounds. How do you say that without sounding guilty? I swear, I'm not guilty. I can explain and it isn't what it looks like!

I know I've been a total asshole all week. In a way, I wish everyone knew I'm Stanley Clarke's son, maybe they'd leave me the hell alone! Unfortunately, and fortunately, news hasn't had time to travel.

Finally, Bethany begrudgingly gets me to lunch. She wants me to divulge all of the juicy details, which is the last thing I want to do, but she's one of my work besties.

"I'm sure he's cooled off by now and he'll likely be home Sunday evening. That's only two days away!"

Bethany is trying to give me an encouraging smile, but it doesn't work.

"He should know I don't want Jesse! I'm frustrated because he wouldn't give me one, single, fucking minute before he jetted off to fucking Hawaii or wherever the hell his trust fund afforded him to go."

Bastard! I really hate you! I'm only kidding, please come home!

This is why I don't like rich people. Poor people don't do stuff like this because they don't have the money to afford it.

"Maybe, but I understand his position. We all see how in love he is with you. It's obvious to everyone, except you!"

She hands me an iced tea and we continue walking while she intertwines our arms.

"The guy was a champ the whole time you were twitterpated over Jesse. He would've been the best man at your wedding if you two would've made it that far! But, Jesse represents Charlie's biggest fear and he was supposed to be seven thousand miles away, not alone with you in your apartment!"

She shrugs apologetically and continues.

"I would've reacted the same way!"

Yeah, me too.

* * *

[Colin] Just two minutes. Please?

It's Sunday, he should be home or on his way home. I haven't texted him all week. I wait at his house most of the day, hoping to catch him. I finally go home at one a.m. after he's a no show. I'm fucking exhausted and not happy at all.

Tomorrow is Monday and Charlie's due back at work. I miss him so fucking much and I really want to straighten everything out. I'm going to freak the fuck out if he's not at work.

* * CHARLES * *

I smile, sympathetically, as I enter Monday morning's meeting.

"Sorry, I'm late."

I'm not very late, only late enough to skip being potentially hounded by Colin, beforehand. I see him in my peripheral vision and I can feel his eyes following me, but I refuse to acknowledge his presence. There's an open seat next to Colin, which I'm sure is intentional on his part.

No thanks cheater! I'd rather stand in a used porta-potty.

Brett smiles and gestures towards the open seat next to Cheater Peter.

"No worries, it's always hard returning from vacation. Why don't you take a seat?"

"No thanks, I prefer to stand."

I see every gaze is fixated on me. This is the first time, since Colin started working here, we aren't sitting next to each other, so yeah, they're all freaking out right now.

The apocalypse is coming!

As he hands me a folder, Brett says.

"As you wish. I'm passing out some new assignments."

Perfect, I hope I'm being moved from the Asia project and away from Colin!

"You're going to work on this project with Colin and Daniel and you'll report to Sharon. It should wrap up within two weeks, after which, you'll return to your previous project."

Well, son of a Baptist Preacher! Welcome back, Charles!

With that business out of the way, he continues talking about whatever. I don't hear anything else he says because I'm too focused on not paying attention to Colin. I'm starting to understand why office romances are frowned upon. They really are a terrible idea. Just awful! What happens when your office romance is the boss' son?

As a friend, I decide to send Colin a quick text. He hasn't taken his eyes off of me all morning, including now as he watches me text until he notices his phone and looks at it.

[Charles] Work is the only thing we'll be discussing today.

I silently curse myself when I realize it's a line Jan says to Michael, but it's unintentional and I hope he doesn't notice. I'm not trying to be cute or funny. After he's reads it, I glance up and see his facial expression. 'Seriously?!'.

Yeah, seriously!

[Colin] Lunch?

I don't respond.

[Colin] Two minutes?

I read the text, but I still don't respond because, obviously, we're in a meeting and I don't want to be disrespectful.

I can feel Colin's tension. I do feel bad, but I also don't care. I waited for him as he waited for Jesse. It's not complicated! I think back to the conversation I witnessed.

"I really really love you!"

Bleh.

"I know, and I love you, too! I always have!"

Double bleh.

I manage to work with Colin all morning and I'm able to make, completely professional, eye contact with him. In fact, I think I do a pretty good job of keeping everything very professional. Daniel looks a wee uncomfortable, though.

Colin looks downright desolate. Even his post summer tan can't hide the dark around his eyes—probably the Greek on his mom's side. Greeks are prone to dark circles.

Sucks to suck.

On the way to lunch, I enter the elevator and hold up my hand to block Colin from entering because it is already full enough.

"Better wait for the next one, this one's full."

Imagine my surprise when he's standing at the elevator door when I arrive at the lobby. Criminy, he's fast, too bad he didn't trip and fall down the stairs.

"Eat lunch at my apartment."

It's not a question, he's demanding me.

"No."

Colin gently grabs my arm, but I quickly pull away. I grit my teeth and silently bark at him.

"Please! Leave me alone! I don't want to cause a scene."

I smile for the audience we may have attracted.

"After work? Charlie, just two minutes. I'm begging you! Hell, I'll take one minute. Just give me sixty seconds!"

His face is so sad—I almost cave.

Almost.

* * *

I avoid Colin all week. I blocked his number so I'd stop receiving his texts and calls. He tries to talk, but I keep myself surrounded by other people who don't know anything about us. Well, mostly.

Bethany's helping me with some programming issues, she's pretty savvy and I'm no IT technician!

"You're coming to karaoke tonight. It's not an option."

While focusing on the computer screen, I reply.

"Maybe next week, this week is no good."

"No, Charles. You don't have to sit by Colin, I'll make sure of it, but you're going! Colin made last week hell at work and this week you guys are splitting the blame. You're not ruining Thursday night, also."

"Fine, but I'm not doing any duets with Cheater Peter over there."

We both glance where Colin's sitting, he catches my eye and tries to smile at me, but I pull my gaze away from him.

He's been wearing glasses all week (he's a real son-of-a-bitch) and his hair's a little messy. I'm sure he's doing it on purpose.

"I don't want to get in the middle of this, but you should talk to him. I don't know if you guys were ever together in the first place, but you don't have to take him back. You should be respectful and at least hear him out. He's earned that much."

She's talking in such a way that it sounds like total business to anyone around us. We're nothing but professionals over here.

"He's earned that! What, exactly, has he done to earn anything?"

I don't have the same ability to maintain a professional comsure when talking about things as serious as Colin cheating on me with his ex, or current, boyfriend.

"Don't be stupid, Charles. This is Colin we're talking about. If you don't give him a chance, you'll be no better than Jesse."

"That's low!"

* * *

Taylor Swift/Back to December

[So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying

I'm sorry for that night']

Nothing But Thieves/Sorry

[Maybe I'm defective or maybe I'm dumb

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done.]

Judah & The Lion/Take it All Back

[I'd take it all back, take it all back, take it all back.

I'd take it all back just to have you]

Colin's laying it on very thick tonight with his song choices. Natalie whispers.

"It's kind of sweet, if you think about it. He's really trying."

I shrug.

"Call me old fashion, but it would've been pretty sweet to not see him half naked while kissing his ex-boyfriend and exchanging words of adoration while wrapped in each other's arms, but that's just me."

Colin's singing to me, again. I think it's Kidswaste or something. Honestly, I don't care.

[This time I know everything you need to hear,

And this time I know everything you might fear

Baby you know I just need you here.

I need you to come back to me]

I reach for the karaoke book and flip through it until I find the right song.

Bingo!

I walk the paper up to the DJ and wait for my turn.

"Up next is, Charles!"

Well that was quick!

I decide to go with funny, but to the point, with Adam Sandler's, Somebody Kill Me, from the movie, The Wedding Singer.

I start out sweet and look at Colin in his eyes, but he knows what's coming. Everyone knows what's coming!

[And when I think of you 'Colin'

I hope you fucking choke.]

When I finish my song, I bow gracefully to the audience and leave the stage. I see Colin frantically writing down a song and running it to the DJ.

Game on!

John Legend/ All of Me

[What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawin' me in and you kickin' me out

Because all of me loves all of you.]

No one dares enter their own karaoke request. The audience is watching me for my next move.

The Vamps/Cheater

[Baby, let me tell you about your boyfriend

He's got another 'boyfriend'

I've really gotta let him go]

Colin counters with, Celine Dion/Because You Loved Me

[You're the one who held me up, never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through, through it all

I'm everything I am, because you loved me.]

I hate that I'm falling for this bullshit. There's a part of me that's about to break down (it's been a very emotional two weeks), but I fight back so I don't.

The whole crowd is silently watching us duke it out. I hated it when Colin and Jesse sang to each other...now look at me! And honestly, this is worst, fighting in public. Yuck.

Eamon/Fuck It

[Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now

Fuck the presents, might as well throw them out

Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack

Fuck you, you ho, I don't want you back]

Except, I do want him back, but betrayal is too hard to overcome and I'll always be second to Jesse.

I can't stick around for his rebuttal. All of this back and forth bickering has gotten the best of my emotions and I'm not about to break down in front of everyone. I need to go home, so I set the microphone down, exit the bar, and walk toward my car. The next thing I know, I'm being thrown against the concrete wall.

What the hell!

Colin screams into my face as his hands, pressing against my chest, hold my back against the wall.

"You don't get to do that! You don't get to do this!"

He's strong when he's angry!

"You don't get to treat me like this. I didn't fucking do anything wrong and now you're treating me like a pariah!"

His eyes are welling up.

"You didn't do anything wrong?!"

I spit.

"You did everything wrong! Jesse left you! I was there for you, through it all! Every minute of it! He shows up and it's as if nothing ever happened between you two or between us! 'Sorry, Charles, Jesse's back'. I'm nothing but Jesse's 2.0!"

With a sudden burst of control, his voice slowly lowers as he says.

"It's not what you fucking think."

A typical response! Only an idiot falls for that! I roll my eyes and respond.

"Classic!"

"Charles, it's true. I promise!"

His eyes are pleading.

Those giant, freaking, hazel eyes!

"I don't see how that's even possible! It looked like you were half naked, standing in a room with candles and love music, and with your arms wrapped around each other. I definitely heard him say he should go before I got there and that he loves you, he really really loves you. And I definitely heard you tell him the same thing and that you always have. That was all before I definitely saw you two kiss!"

I feel as though I'm talking too fast, trying to get all of the awful memories out.

"Yes, I admit it sounds fucking bad, really fucking bad, but Charlie, baby—"

He cups my face, he's breathing rapidly with emotion.

"Only because it's out of context."

He lays his head on my shoulder.

"I'm begging you! Please, let me explain. Let me tell you all of the events of that evening. Then, if you still want me gone, I'll leave, but not until you listen from start to finish."

I cross my arms. I'd like to hear what kind of bullshit he has to say.

"Fine, explain!"

He looks straight into my eyes and takes a deep breath.

"That evening was for you (he firmly presses his finger to my chest). The candles, the playlist, the new bedding, me half naked, everything! It was for you! I knew my feelings for you weeks ago, but you were forcing me to take all of this fucking time to think it over, which is fucking garbage! Anyway, I was over it and I was ready to move this shit up river."

"You're so romantic. Please, continue wooing me!"

I roll my eyes and, at the same time, my heart is betraying me. It's fluttering like a field of butterflies. He shoots back.

"You don't get to talk, asshole! You ghosted me for two weeks! You completely shunned me so don't try to talk now!"

His lip curls enough to let me know he's not really mad. I think he's mostly happy to have the chance to talk.

"This is exactly what happened that night, so listen closely! I pretended to have a water leak so you'd come over, which you almost ruined by suggesting I call a damn plumber, you jackass. I lit exactly one thousand candles, made snacks, and spent all week making the perfect playlist full of the best, corny, love music. I mussed my hair, put on jeans that would sit low on my hips, and lost the shirt to try to seduce you."

His hands very cautiously smooths the shirt on my chest.

"Charlie, I knew you were on your way. Why would've I decided that would be a good moment for a fling? I had no idea Jesse was stateside. When I heard the door unlock, I thought he was you! I thought you were taking my water leak seriously and arriving in record time!"

He watches his fingers fidgeting with my shirt buttons. I'm trying to keep my breathing level, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult. Between his fingers gently teasing my buttons, his body close to mine, and hearing him explain the romantic evening he had planned for me, I'm practically melting into the concrete wall.

"He told me he came back because he made the wrong choice and he's regretted it every day he's been gone. I told him it's too late, that I'm with you. He didn't seem surprised, by the way!"