Stoned

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So I was all geared up to lecture her, and side with the teacher and Principal, when I arrived at the school. Except...well...I hadn't really told her how to handle defending someone else. Turns out my baby girl had stopped other kids from bullying a smaller, quiet girl whose name was Panda (yes, that's right...did her parents not love her?). So, not only was her height and slight frame a target for bullies, her name was just ripe for the picking. Still, I sided with the teacher and Principal, reinforcing to my baby girl that she was to inform the teacher should there be any problems with her or anyone else in the class. She'd earned two days of lunchtime detention for the physical altercation, with a warning about a future in-school suspension if it happened again. I assured them it would not.

When we left the Principal's office, I wasn't angry. Keni thought I would be, but I wasn't. We went to her classroom to pick up her things. She pointed out Panda, a very small, pretty thin, dark-skinned girl who seemed shy and withdrawn. She'd set herself apart from everyone else in the classroom. When Keni arrived, her face lit up, but saddened once again when she realized Keni had been sent home early. The girls exchanged a few words, Keni assured her she would be back tomorrow, and then my baby and I left. No, I wasn't angry. In fact, I was proud of her for defending someone else.

I told her as much as we walked to the bus stop.

"You're not mad?"

"I'm not mad. I don't want to have to leave work early again, baby, but what you did was a good thing. You protected that girl when the other kids were bothering her. If I happens again, though, tell the teacher, okay?"

She nodded, swinging her backpack as she held my hand, "it won't happen again. I punched the biggest guy in class in the face and he fell. I don't think he's going to bother us again."

I shook my head and smiled to myself, squeezing her hand, "no punching next time, right? What do you do instead?"

She sighed, "tell the teacher."

"Right. Good. Now...pizza for dinner?"

"Yes! Yippee!!!"

Keni loved pizza. Loved it. We typically went to the little pizza shop not too far from our apartment. The one I was pretty sure was owned by Vince's people. So we stopped by the pizzeria to order a small cheese pie and garlic knots. Keni ate a complimentary garlic knot as we waited for the pie. Once it was done, I tried to hand Paulie my debit card, but he waved it away.

"It's already taken care of," he told me.

I raised a brow, "I didn't pay earlier, Paulie. I'm sure of it."

"Got a call, so you don't pay."

Now I was confused, "a call? Who called?"

"Ms. Stone."

That information didn't help. "Ms. Stone?"

"Vincenza Stone?"

So that was her last name. And this information pretty much ensured I would be in her office sometime in the next few days. Not only had she absolved my debt, she was also paying for my food? That just didn't make any sense. No sense at all. But I wasn't going to argue with Paulie. So, I stuck $5 in his tip jar, ignoring his protests, grabbed the pizza and garlic knots, and Keni and I walked home.

I loved the pizza from this little restaurant. The crust wasn't too thick or too thin. They were generous with the cheese and it was a good quality, not cheap and oily. And the sauce? It was to die for. They didn't add too much and the flavor was straight from heaven. It was a great pizza. If I could afford it, I would eat it more often.

Pizza demolished, excellent garlic knots devoured, homework done (there was a little less of it thank goodness), Keni was in the shower when someone knocked at the door. I froze. I didn't get visitors. I was pretty friendly with the people I worked with, and a few of my neighbors, but they all had their own families and would not stop by unannounced. I quickly made my way to the door and checked the peephole. Someone was standing there in a uniform holding a lovely floral arrangement. I opened the door, certain they had the wrong apartment.

"Hi. Who are you looking for?" Our apartment building wasn't that big, I probably knew where the person lived...

"Uh..." he checked his tablet, "Georgia and Keni Adams?"

"Uh...that's me," I told him, a little confused.

"Cool, sign here."

I scribbled my signature on his tablet and took the gorgeous arrangement from him.

"Oh, hold on—" I told him, glancing around for my purse.

"Nah, it's already taken care of. Have a good night."
Again surprised, I put the flowers on the tiny table I'd set up in the small kitchen and looked for a card. I finally found it, opened it, and read only a "V" written in a wonderful, old fashioned script. What the hell? She'd paid for my pizza (and I wasn't even sure how she knew I was getting pizza tonight) and now flowers? For me and Keni? She knew my daughter's name? What the hell was going on?

I leaned in and smelled the flowers...as odd as it was, the woman had taste. The flowers were stunning and they smelled great.

I saw Keni run from the bathroom naked, knowing she'd made a mess and left the towel on the floor. I shook my head and followed her into the bedroom we shared to help her get ready for bed.

*

I didn't wait to visit Ms. Stone again. I made my way through the corner store and up the two flights of stairs, only to be turned away by a different huge guy at the door this time. She was busy, I was told, and I didn't have an appointment. I asked if I could have her phone number so I could call her later and he told me if she wanted me to have her phone number, I would already have it. He was rude and brutish, so I didn't push it. I left and went to work instead.

Some days I was unable to pick up Keni from school. But I had a co-worker, Louise, whose son also attended the elementary school in the neighborhood, so she and I tried to make sure one of us was free to pick up the kids. She was also within walking distance of the grocery store and my apartment building. Sometimes she would take Keni home with her. Other times she would drop Keni off at the job and Keni would hang out in the break room until I was done. I typically worked the mid-morning/early afternoon shift, so she never had to wait long. She usually played a video game or watched television if she couldn't do her homework on her own (which she usually couldn't). Then we'd go home, eat, work on her homework, and she'd be in bed by 8pm.

On weekends, if I had to work (which I only did once a month), I had a few different neighbors with teens who would watch Keni for me for a modest fee. The teens would only watch her if a parent was home, someone who was keeping an eye on my baby girl just in case. It wasn't an ideal arrangement, but I'd been doing it almost since Keni was born, so we were used to it.

I hadn't been a young mother when I had McKenzie and I was smart enough to know that I wanted more for my baby girl. I wanted her to do well in school, to go on to have a decent career, not a 'job,' and to make a contribution somehow. I was honest with her about her dad, telling her that he and I hadn't been friends first which is probably why he hadn't stayed around. And that if he knew her, he would love her. I didn't know what I would say later on when she wanted more details, considering I didn't know his last name, but I would cross that bridge later.

But I was okay with my life the way it was. I hadn't been expecting Keni, but she gave me a reason to get up every morning. I was totally focused on her and her wellbeing, providing for her as best I could. I had momentary thoughts of what it would be like when she went off to college and my life was empty again, but I pushed those aside. I had at least 12 years before I had to worry about letting my baby girl go...I would worry about it later.

I was having these thoughts, staring at the flowers on the table, listening for the shower to turn off...and wondering what Vincenza Stone wanted from me. I had been willing to let the debt situation go, considering I was not the only one who'd benefited from it. But the pizza? The flowers? I didn't understand. And then her refusal to see me? I was confused, to say the least.

I heard the shower turn off and moved to intercept any chaos my beautiful child might create in the bathroom. An hour later, I was watching tv as she slept soundly in our full-sized bed. I would need to think about giving her some privacy soon. In two or three years for sure. At that time, I would move into the living room and let her have the bedroom. I'd been thinking about it for some time and had even been keeping an eye out for those fancy room dividers, you know, those huge screens? I could put them up in the living room so I could have some privacy. But the screens were quite expensive and I would need two or three of them...it was a long-term plan that I would have to save up for.

I'd straightened up the bathroom, washed the dishes and set them on the drying rack and was making Keni's lunch when someone knocked on the door. My first thought was 'again'? I stopped what I was doing and approached the door, opening it without checking the peephole. It wasn't another delivery. The woman herself was standing there. One of her huge guys, that appeared to never leave her side, standing not too far away, closer to the elevator.

I just stared at her. She was dressed in black, baggy jeans, expensive sneakers and a thick, black sweater. I'd liked the suit, but I liked these casual clothes more. They seemed to suit her better. And she was tall. Much taller than I'd thought. Not as huge as I'd imagined when she was sitting behind her desk, but quite large in her own right. I realized I was checking her out, so I returned my eyes to hers, my cheeks probably a little red with embarrassment. Her lips shifted slightly into a smirk.

"Ms. Stone," I finally said.

She raised a thick, dark brow. "Vince," she corrected.

I nodded, but didn't say her name again.

"You stopped by?" She offered.

Yes, yesterday. I'd stopped by her office and they told me she was busy. Or was that today? And why had I stopped by? There'd been a reason...

"Uh, sorry, do you want to come in?" I asked, forgetting my manners.

She shook her head, "got a meeting. You needed something?"

She was glancing past me into my tiny apartment and I felt self-conscious. Like it wasn't big enough, decorated well enough, or anywhere near adequate for me and Keni. I shook those thoughts away, knowing it was clean, my baby girl had a roof over her head, and it was the best I could do. I'd never been ashamed of it before, so...

"Needed something?" I repeated. "No. Uh, I was...I went to the pizza shop...I...and then the flowers..." I stuttered.

She could easily see them, sitting on the tiny table in the kitchen, considering one of the walls had a faux window cut into it, probably to give the apartment the sense of being larger.

Her eyes returned to me, the blue touching me in a way I wasn't able to understand at the moment. We stared at one another for a few moments until I was no longer able to play the game and lowered my eyes.

"Panda's my cousin's kid. Your girl looked out for her. No big deal."

The words surprised me and I looked up. "Panda is related to you? I had no idea."

She nodded, "I know. Most people do shit because they know me, they know my family, they try to cozy up. You didn't even know and your girl stepped up. I appreciate it."

I smiled. I could hear accolades about my baby girl all day and just beam with the joy of it. Not only had Keni protected Panda, they were friends now. Although now that I knew who Panda was related to, I wasn't sure how I felt about that friendship...

"Gotta go. You need something, you call."
She handed me a business card and then moved toward the elevator. It arrived as she approached and I watched as she and her huge guy disappeared into it. It dawned on me, after I closed the door and finished Keni's lunch, that she'd come over to see me in person. I wondered how often she did that. And I didn't know what to make of it.

*

Vince closed her eyes, leaning back against the soft leather of the passenger seat as Johnny pulled away from the curb.

"Got it bad, huh?" Johnny teased.

"Shut the fuck up."

She ignored Johnny's chuckle.

***

A few weeks passed and I had no further contact with Vince. Keni was part of a Martin Luther King pageant and she had to learn one line from the "I Have A Dream" speech. We practiced every night...and she still made mistakes. I smiled just thinking about it...six year olds, what could one say?

Our head cashier, Cheryl, quit and I was being considered for the job. It was a little more responsibility, but I would have more regular hours (considering I would be in charge of the schedule) and slightly better pay. Other than that, things were status quo, and Vince Stone had faded to the back of my mind.

Until one Tuesday evening.

Louise was scheduled to pick up the kids from school and take them to her place. I walked over there after my shift was over, two boxes of donuts that would have been discarded in my hands as I knocked on her door. She opened the door and looked at me with surprise.

"Uh, hey Gia, what's up?" She asked, looking a little confused.

I smiled as I handed her a box of assorted donuts, "brought these for you guys. Keni ready?"

She took the donuts, but still looked confused.

"Keni's not here. She's at your place."

My heart skipped a beat. Was she kidding?

"What are you talking about? Why would she be at home alone?" I asked, panic creeping slowly up my spine.

"She's not alone. Your new babysitter picked her up. I think her name was Anna?"

I stared at her..."what new babysitter?" I asked softly, trying to not let the panic overtake me.

"Uh, the one that introduced herself to me at the school, told me you probably forgot to mention her, and then took Keni home? White woman, around our age? She looked Italian? I've seen her around the neighborhood, but—"

"Louise, I didn't hire a babysitter. I don't know who you're talking about."

Louise stopped talking and simply stared, my panic finally registering to her. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my landline. It was answered on the second ring by the most beautiful sounding voice in the world.

"Hi Mom!"

"Baby? Baby? You're at home? Alone? Are you okay?" I was trying to calm myself. I didn't want Keni to think I was afraid or worried. I'd walked away from Louise's apartment door and was quickly leaving her building, practically jogging in the direction of my building.

"I'm not alone! Miss Anna is here! She's really nice. She helped me with my homework and bought me a snack."

"Miss Anna? She's there now?"

"Yea Mom. You okay?"

"Yea baby, I'll be there in a few minutes."

The amount of time it took me to reach my front door... I was panting, sweating, and about a half a second away from a full-blown panic attack when I slid my key into the lock and pushed the door open. Sure enough, there was a white woman, maybe a little older than me, with a head full of silver hair (it was actually quite gorgeous) and very kind blue eyes, sitting on my sofa beside Keni watching Sesame Street.

I took a moment. Took a moment to take a deep breath. I put my purse on a kitchen counter and then made my way to the freezer to remove the chilled shot glass and bottle of vodka I kept there. I poured myself a shot, just one, and swallowed it in one gulp. Then I replaced the bottle and put the shot glass in the sink.

"Uh oh, Mom only drinks when something's wrong," Keni warned the woman sitting beside her. The woman stood and approached me.

"Hi, I'm Anna."

I nodded, but didn't say a word, waiting for her to continue. I watched as she reached for her purse, sitting on the small table in my kitchen, and removed a thick envelope.

"My resume and list of references."

I opened the envelope and quickly looked over the very nicely typed resume and a list of five references.

"Although Ms. Stone already called them, I invite you to do so also for your own peace of mind."

And finally, finally, I began to understand. Vince. Vince had hired her? Vince had hired a stranger to pick up my daughter and bring her home? To help her with her homework, get her a snack, and watch Sesame Street with her?

I wasn't a violent person, but I was going to kill Vince.

"Vince hired you?"

"Yes. Didn't she mention it?" The woman asked, confused.

"No. No she didn't. She didn't mention anything about it," I informed her.

The woman nodded, smiling a little, "ah, hence the anxiety?"

I nodded, looking over her resume again. She certainly was qualified to babysit. Over qualified actually. I sighed.

"Ms...?"

"Mauro. Anna Mauro."

I hesitated...Mauro? I knew that last name.

"You're related to Paulie, from the pizza shop?"

She nodded, smiling, "my brother."

I nodded, but sighed again, "Ms. Mauro, I can't afford—"

"Ms. Stone said she would be paying me. She wanted me to check with you about which days you needed me to pick up Keni. She also mentioned I might need to work some weekends? And possibly overnight?"

I raised a brow, "overnight?"

She smiled again, "sometimes couples need some alone time, don't you think?"

I stared at her and it took me a moment to realize what she was suggesting.

"I'm not dating Vince," I told her.

She was surprised for a moment and looked at me with doubt.

"I'm not," I insisted.

She nodded, not saying anything else about it, picking up her purse and moving toward the door.

"Okay, I'll let you get settled. Please text me tonight to let me know if you want me to continue, okay?"

I nodded, following her. When we reached the door, she lowered her voice.

"No pressure, but I haven't worked in a few months. I could use the money. Please call my references. I assure you they will vouch for me. And please let me know no matter what you decide, okay?"

I nodded, feeling like an ass. It was a recession. Everyone was desperate for work. I shouldn't be so self absorbed...

I closed the door behind her and took yet another moment. I wasn't being an ass. Vince had hired someone to watch my child, the love of my life, without consulting me. She'd made decisions about my daughter, changing her schedule, altering where she should have been spending her time, without talking to me first. That was not going to go over well with me. Ever.

But I put it aside, made my way to the kitchen, and started dinner. Pan seared chicken breasts and a salad. And FroYo afterwards. Chocolate chip this time. I checked Keni's homework as we ate, talked to her about Miss Anna (who she clearly adored), and then ordered her into the shower. I washed dishes, straightened up, and made Keni's lunch while she showered. I allowed her to watch another 15 minutes of television once she was in bed. And finally, finally, when she was asleep, I located the business card Vince had given me weeks ago and dialed the number.

"Talk."

I took a moment. Trying to remember who she was. Trying to remember she had the best intentions...

"You hired a stranger to spend time with my child? To travel with her, buy her food, help her with her homework...without discussing it with me first?"

I was seething. I could hear it in my voice, which was low and tight.

She said not a word.

"Are you nuts?" I demanded.

More silence.

"Are you there?" I snapped.

"Hindsight. Should've checked with you first. My bad."

"Your bad? Your bad?"

I had nothing left to say. Nothing productive anyway. Nothing that might not get me killed considering who I was talking to. So, since I could not squeeze out another word without screaming, I disconnected the call. I stood staring at the phone, trying to breathe in and out with some regularity. Thirty minutes later, I stood beneath a hot shower, still trying to calm myself down, before crawling into bed. I texted Anna my schedule for the week (I wasn't an idiot, I was just pissed) and then turned out the lights. Shockingly, I was asleep almost immediately.