tagHumor & SatireStory Closure by Comment

Story Closure by Comment


Hi Wako's

I was going to just post a comment about the story "John Carter". After typing for a while I found myself getting carried away with my comment. I then decided to post it as a humor-satire story. I asked for H2Owader's permission. This is the email I sent to H2O;

Dear H20wader ©,

I love your screen name. If I used WaterWader, would that be an infringement?...ok here is a rambling comment of the story, "John Carter" by H20wader ©. I want to know if you would have any objection to me submitting this as a posting in the humor/satire category.

This is the email H2Owader sent back;


From: H2Owader(actual e-mail address removed)

Date: Fri, 16 Dec 2005 20:12:07 EST

Subject: GO 4 IT



if you include this email you can post the humor and satire comment


my blessing. it does not harm the story and it is damn fun.

matter of fact I Double Dog Dare you

if you wish to create a water wader go ahead.




This will not make much sense unless you read "John Carter" before or after reading this thing.

This is written much the same way I might write a comment on a story.

Now, here it is.

"The ravings of a lunatic." This is the ravings of a certified lunatic commenter. Someone commented that we readers should seek professional counseling after reading "John Carter" by

H20wader ©. I read it and by coincidence had an appointment with my therapist later in the day. She backed into the corner of her office and just stared at me with an "oh shit, I'm going to die" look while I described the story and what I thought about it.

I agree that this is your story and you have every right to write the way you want to,,,,but it sure would be kinder to give the poor abused and tortured reader some closure. Some of this comment might do that but most likely, it won't.

I think a great way to close this story is to somehow make Sindi out to be a great international secret agent hero that was sexing up a bunch of bad guy agents so she could make the world a safer place.

Bill, the investigator was a bad guy that was going to give John DNA tests that showed that his 2 kids were both the results of a cum-cock-tion deposited by multiple penetration couplings by large groups of well hung, multi race men. This information was supposed to send John more over the edge if that was possible. Bill the PI was taken out by the good guys that the FLCSoaB worked for. Bill the PI was driving down the road when a sexy good guy girl jumped out of the bushes naked. Bill immediately whipped it out to start wanking but got it caught in the steering wheel. As he was negotiating a turn when this happened, Bill the PI's car continued turning and went off the road, then climbed a ten thousand foot mountain and came to rest on the peak. When Bill the PI was later found, it was determined that he died of de-hydration caused from too much ejaculation from way too much chicken choking.

The Indian soldier was one of the bad guys that the FLCSoaB was screwing. The Indian soldier fell in love with the FLCSoaB but the FLCSoaB would not returned his love. The Indian soldier went to war with John and shot John's balls and little cock off thinking that this would give him a better chance with the FLCSoaB. The FLCSoaB was upset by this because she really loved John and his little cock.The FLCSoaB shot the Indian soldier's big cock and balls off in a fit of anguish. Because the FLCSoaB was such a good shot, the Indian soldiers genitals were removed as if done by a surgical procedure. The secret agency thought to keep the Indian soldiers tools for future use. Because of the FLCSoaB's marksmanship, the Indian soldier did not die although I bet he wished he had.

The Bosson family murdered the Indian Soldier because he didn't have the balls to do his job anymore and because they couldn't stand to hear his high squeaky voice. That got The Bosson family busted but they were let go on a technicality(Their Uncle was a Senator). It is rumored that the Indian soldiers last words were, "THANK YOU".

Carla was a secret agent for the good guys and was trying to placate John so that the FLCSoaB could finish her work. As it was. the pictures that she left in Bill the PI's mailbox accomplished her objectives.

John's kids were not really his kids but were actually secret double agent midgets that in time could go either way.

The RB was the special agent in charge of...of...of...shit, where is that "special agent in charge" job description. Anyway, the RB gave Sindi the secret agent job when Sindi threaten to show the world explicit pictures of Sindi and the RB together doing naughties.

John got his equipment fixed up and sported a nice big fat long cock and a serious ball bag that looked, worked, and felt just like the real thing. This took some getting used to for John. When John went to the john, his new balls were so big and heavy, they would sink into the water(brrr). The secret agency's secret plumber fixed him up with one of those $20000000, high rise toilets. Shortly after John's salami was replaced, he found himself wanting something called fire water rather his normal daily barrel of scotch. He was also found doing some exotic dance in the rain. This was just attributed to his high fire water consumption.

Sindi Had a brand new procedure done to her Grand Canyon pussy to tighten it up for Johns little cock. John and Sindi finally got together again but Johns new large cock wouldn't fit into Sindi's tiny new pussy. John accused Sindi of tightening up her pussy just to give him a hard time. In a rage(again), John tried to shoot off his new cock and balls with a salad shooter and a nail gun. They locked him up this time and threw away the key. The medical staff never ate salad again.

Sindi was thrown out of the house by the midget kids when she legally changed her name to FLCSoaB. Sindi ...er......FLCSoaB started drinking heavy and now is attending AA meetings. Someone said that a guy named Willie was her sponsor.

The TGDJP was really a patient in a doctor disguise. He was committed for constantly disturbing the peace with his loud shouting.

The double agent midget kids sued the good guys and the bad guys for something or other. They won and were awarded $1000000000000000 from each party. They are currently working on their auto-biography.

I heard the title is, Stretch Thyself".

Maria was a midget groupie.

Doctor Johnson went on to work for the secret agency developing a new eye blinking secret communications system. Her answers to John's questions were, yes on the virgin question, definitely yes on the 3 inch cock question. When asked why she would go for a 3 inch cock, she said to see the answer to the "are you a virgin" question.

Willie was chosen as AA poster boy of the decade.

Mary Sue didn't give a shit about the work. She heard that John was getting newer and bigger love tools. Rumor has it that she had convinced Sindi to get the pussy tuck.

All other characters in this story were just innocent, trusting, every day taxpayers that were funding all this bullshit except of course, the enemy soldiers that were funding bullshit somewhere else.

Great story H2O. A good write!


Anyone want my shrinks phone number?


I hope I made you smile,


PS if any one uses this posting in any manner what so ever, report it to me so that I can brag to my friends.

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