Stranger Things on Heaven and Earth

Another volley. Another spread of flares.

"Festina!" I said, snapping my fingers. "Is the main gun still online?"

"Nope," she said.

"Thrusters?"

"Nope."

"...speaker system?" I asked.

Festina nodded. "Yeah. Gonna try diplomacy?"

"Better than nothing," I said, then scrambled over Tali's groaning body to lean up to the microphone built into the dash. Festina, nearly elbowing me, flicked it on as another rain of missiles slammed into the Mako. I gulped, then said: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Otto! Stop firing -- your next volley will crack the hull, blow the reactor, and wipe your precious admin key out."

Otto lifted his hand. The Nazis stopped their volley fire -- and Otto clicked his heels. "Ahh, Mr. Fong, is that you in there? Did the good Princess not survive the gift General Sun Li left for you?" he chuckled. "I told him he would not be able to take the ship by himself. Even with help from, ah, Mr. Mordin's soldiers of darkness."

I shook my head. Of course they hadn't been Shadows. Shadows were way too smart to get sent into a meat grinder like the Normandy. Also, they had been, once I had gotten a good look at them, bipedal, not the quadrupedal insectoid beasts of Shadows. Soldiers of Darkness were...still pretty bad, but at least they could be killed without needing to get crazy lucky with a spray of bolt gun fire. I spoke into the PA more: "So, let me guess: you contacted Sun Li when you determined where the next artifact would be -- convinced him to work with us, and used the Soldiers of Darkness to fuck with the Normandy?"

"We simply needed to ensure that you were over my chosen home," Otto said.

I nodded. "Neat trick. But I've got each piece of the admin code here, with me, and we're going to blow it up unless you back the fuck off."

"That would be where you're incorrect," a new, oily voice spoke.

Stepping from the darkness in the corner of the busted up, smoke shrouded Nazi meeting room, was Mr. Mordin. He was dressed in his sleek, nice suit, and stood with the casual assurance of someone who had one to two immortal godlike beings standing invisibly around him, ready to murder anyone who so much as laid a hand on him. He smiled slightly, and nodded to the Mako. "Master Li ensured that we had access to as many parts of the code, as soon as he could. So...you going to come out?" He chuckled. "I have some measure of pull here, I can ensure you and whoever else is in there's safety."

"The Strange is a big place, Mr. Fong," Otto said, his voice cheerful. "I'm not going to go after you."

"Oh? Then what are you going to do with godlike power, huh?" I asked.

Otto chuckled. "Correct history's mistake..." he grinned, slowly, and even if he hadn't had his scar, the grin would have been twisted. "History's greatest mistake. Imagine it, Mr. Fong. I won't come to Earth Prime leading the forces of the Reich. I'll be coming...with the good Dr. Totenkopf and the charming Frau Engel! Why not throw in a Mecha-Hitler or two? Hah!" He flung out his arms. "Why stop at that! We'll be marching in with our allies in the Coalition States and the Galactic Empire -- Emperor Prosack can handle the occupation of your United States while Emperor Palpatine can handle Eurasia. Throw in the Redskull and Hydra for good measure, and wrap everything up in a nice pretty bow with some orbital supremacy from the Terran Empire circa the mid 23^rd century and we'll be ruling the world not just for ten years, not just for ten thousand years...but for ten million years!"

Otto's eyes gleamed as spoke, walking closer and closer to the Mako.

"And you don't need to worry about any of it," he crooned. "You can find a peaceful recursion and live out your life. Safe. Happy. All you have to do is..."

A hatchet slammed into Otto's back.

He pitched forward onto the ground.

The Nazis spun around.

Standing at the far end of the room, bold as brass, was a tall, blond haired, blue eyed, man with shoulders the width of a fridge. A heavy, boxy looking rifle was crooked in one arm, and a hatchet dangled from his other -- twirling around his fingers. Standing beside him was a panting, sweating, pony-formed Twilight Sparkle.

"Nazis always talk too much," William Joseph Blaskovich said. Then, nodding his head to Twilight Sparkle. "Thanks for the ride, Miss...Pony. Person."

"I'm so tired," Twi whispered.

Otto, groaning, stood. The hatchet had struck some of the armor plates -- leaving a shallow, broad cut in his shoulders. "Killl him!" he screamed. "Kill Terror Billy! Now!"

BJ sprinted for cover while Twi squeaked and flung up a glowing, purple telekinetic force field. Bullets sparked and whined as the Nazis opened fire. Festina, meanwhile, had grabbed onto the door. "Ready?" she shouted, and Adora nodded, looking nervous but determined.

"Let me go first, Catra," Adora whispered.

"Like-"

Festina flung open the door.

"For the Honor of Grayskull!" Adora bellowed, leaping out of the narrow hatch as if she had been fired from a canon. She was finished transforming the instant she landed -- and her sword smashed into the floor, which bucked and rocked. Nazis went tumbling -- Otto managed to keep his feet by throwing out one arm, his other hand gripping a sleek Nazi pistol. Festina skidded down the belly of the Mako, firing bullets wildly into the air to send Nazis scrambling for more cover. I popped out next, with Bow right behind me. He started launching arrows -- goo arrows that stuck Nazis to the floor.

"Hah!" Bow said.

BJ leaned around cover and fired a beam of coherent energy into a Nazis' head that caused their entire torso to become glowing, smoldering meat.

"Auuh!" Bow yelped.

I dragged him behind a pillar moments before a rain of bullets slammed into the ground and walls around us. He pressed to me. "I prefer how the Horde fights, honestly," he whispered.

"Me too!" I knelt down, reached out, and grabbed a heavy Nazi assault rifle by the barrel -- it had been dropped by someone the good Mr. Blaskovich had gunned down. I popped it to my shoulder and sighted down range -- aiming at a Nazi who was scrambling for cover. The rifle kicked like a mule and sounded like a pissed off industrial print machine -- and where its high caliber bullets slammed into Nazi armor, Nazi armor and Nazi flesh went flying to pieces. I ducked back behind cover, while Bow knocked another net arrow. He leaned around and caught two Nazis up in the same net.

"So, other than the guns, what do they got?" he asked.

A grenade clunked into the pillar by our head -- magnetically attaching to the rebar that the bullets had revealed by blowing apart concrete.

"That," I said.

A glowing field surrounded the grenade and chucked into the air. Twilight Sparkle fly by overhead. Bullets whined and sparked -- and I took a moment to glance around. BJ had swapped out his laserkraftwerk for one of those fully automatic shotgun beasts that the Nazis had made for some fucking reason. He held two, actually -- one per arm, and was advancing towards of Nazis, his face set in a fierce, intent expression as the guns roared in a steady chunk chunk chunk chunk pattern. I saw Festina peeking out from behind the half destroyed desk. She-Ra, meanwhile, was standing at the largest doorway leading into the room. A massive, sheet metal robot dog thing -- a panzerhund -- had reared up and tried to bear her to the ground. But she had grabbed onto his head and angled it up and away. A jet of jellied gasoline belched past her head, shooting over her shoulder and coating the carpet behind her with flames. If the Nazi robot knew or cared it was dangerously close to setting a bunch of its allies on fire, it didn't seem to mind.

Catra sprang onto the back of the panzerhund.

"I hate dogs," she muttered -- and then grabbed onto a single knot of wires and wrenched them free with a shower of sparks and a spray of hydraulic fluid. The Panzerhund's head twitched and groaned and it stopped spraying flames.

"Some summer vacation," I whispered.

"You're telling me!" Bow said, nodding.

A Nazi ran up to the Mako, grenade in hand -- clearly planning to toss a grenade in, after Princess Glimmer and Tali. "No!" I yelped, then lifted my rifle at the same time Bow knocked an arrow and fired. His arrow thudded into the Nazi's back and my bullets ripped into his side -- and the grenade tumbled into the Mako's open door.

"Glimmer!" Bow shouted.

Glimmer appeared in the air above the thickest knot of Nazis, holding the grenade. She threw it down, then vanished again -- appearing next to BJ, who had gone to single handing an automatic rifle. "Hey," Glimmer said -- then winced as maybe six Nazis exploded in a concussive blast of electrical energy.

"Good throw," BJ said. "You from the pony place too?"

"No," Glimmer said.

"Huh," BJ said, taking the existence of other dimensions, pony princesses, teleporting teenagers, and tanks from space with the same stoic determination. "Well. Glad to have your help, ma'am." He shouldered the rifle and started opening fire.

"Bobbie and Verse reporting in, Admiral!" Twi said, flying low over Festina's cover. "They and Tracer have acquired a helicopter, we can-" Twi cried out -- one of her wings bursting with a flare of red. Her other wing beat wildly, sending her swiveling and spinning out of control, smashing face and chest first onto the ground. She skidded to a stop and, before anyone could react, Otto grabbed her around her equestrian neck and hauled her to her...hooves. His pistol pressed to her temple and he glared over the field of his dead Nazi pukes.

"Anyone follow me and the Princess gets it in the neck," he growled, walking backwards. "Mordin? Mordin?" He looked around and, seeing that Mr. Mordin had wisely vacated, swore in German. "Scheisse."

"Otto!" I said, stepping around the corner, my rifle in my hands but not aimed at him. "Let her go."

"Best do what he says," BJ said, coming from the other angle.

"Back! Back!" Otto snarled, drawing back the hammer on his gun. BJ froze and I froze with him. Adora and Catra joined us at the ring, Catra glaring murderously at the Nazi. Adora was only a fraction less furious looking. Otto stepped back up to a door, his eyes narrowed.

"Otto," I said. "I am going to fucking kill you."

"Yes. You are. Aren't you." Otto's tongue darted along his lips.

And then he fired four rounds into Twilight Sparkle's belly. Her eyes widened and blood started to flow past her teeth -- and then Otto shoved her forward towards us and turned and sprinted. BJ fired a few rounds over Twilight, but they clipped the wall and the metal door. My stomach turned over as Twilight fell on her side, blood pouring from the wounds in her flank. I scrambled forward and fell to my knees beside her. She looked up at me. Her eyes were fading.

"M...Mal..." She coughed.

"No, no, no, no," I whispered, cradling her head in my arms.

"Key..." Twi whispered. Her horn glowed purple.

Her eyes closed.

She was gone.

I trembled. Festina walked slowly up behind me, and BJ knelt beside me. His hand went to my shoulder. He didn't say anything. I looked down at my hands -- slick with her blood. And then, wordlessly, I grabbed onto the laserkraftwerk. I stood, and BJ blinked as I jerked the shoulder harness from his shoulder and started forward. My feet pounded as my eyes burned -- but I had no time to shed tears. My shoulder smashed into the door and it sprang open -- and I saw Otto at the far end of the corridor, pushing several Nazi goons to cover his escape. They brought their rifles up. I fired and the laserkraftwerk bucked against my shoulders. The searing hot, anti-tank beam struck a Nazi in the chest and blew him into chunks, causing the others to stagger.

I didn't even wait. I ran past them -- pausing only to grab at one of their grenades, finding and yanking the pin. I slammed the door behind me and the explosion was muffled by thick steel -- blood and smoke dribbling under the jam. The door had opened out onto a narrow catwalk that ringed the outer edge of the massive Nazi structure -- I think it was the London aeronautica. My heart hammered as I looked down the catwalk and saw Otto scrambling onto a window cleaners lift that would take him up to the roof.

I slung the kraftwerk over my shoulder, tapping at my omnitool. It started fabricating as I sprinted towards the lift.

Otto lifted his pistol. He fired three shots at me,but I ducked low. One wined past my ear -- and then the elevator started to rattle upwards. I sprang to my feet and tossed out the grappling hook the omnitool had fabricated. It snagged onto the elevator, then the loop of cord around my wrist yanked me up. I held onto it with both hands, gritting my teeth. The elevator reached the top of its track and Otto, unaware I was following him, sprinted onto the roof.

I dragged myself onto the elevator and stood.

"Where is the damned helicopter!?" Otto snarled.

"I think Verse stole it," I said, panting heavily. "You Nazi dipshit."

Otto spun around -- aiming his pistol at me.

"Your laserkraftwerk is almost out of batteries," he said, his voice gloating. My eyes flicked down to the tiny, red flashing light mounted on the side of the experimental Nazi laser weapon. "And I do not plan on giving you time to recharge, Mr. Fong."

He shot me.

The bullet slammed into my gut and I stumbled backwards, then fell onto my back. The pain was incredible. Burning in my gut. No air could reach my lungs for a second -- and I dragged in a harsh, staggering breath. Through blood red eyes, I saw Otto walking casually towards me. He stood above me and aimed the pistol at my head. His grin was wicked.

"This is not a game for erotica characters, Mr. Fong," he said.

He pulled the trigger.

And his pistol clicked.

I clenched my fist. "Focus," I hissed.

My omni-blade sprang out and time seemed to slow as Otto released the magazine -- reached for a new one at his hip. He moved with a fluid smoothness -- but I was just a bit faster. The tip of my omni-blade slammed into his chest, even if the effort caused pain to explode through my body. I gritted my teeth against the pain, roaring with fury as I twisted and pushed -- and Otto stumbled backwards, his scarred face a picture of shocked pain. His hands gripped his belly -- and his butt hit the railing of the elevator. He flipped backwards.

He fell.

He was gone.

I sagged slowly back to the ground, gasping heavily. I tried to find the medigel button on my omnitool.

"Looks like you're out."

I lowered my arm and groaned -- my breathing coming slower and slower. I felt like my life was ebbing out of me as, stepping up to fill the place that Otto had moments before, Mr. Mordin looked down into my eyes.

He smiled that oily smile of his. "Now is as good a time as any, Mr. Fong, to ask..." He knelt down. "What do you want?"

I wracked my brain for everything I knew about Mordin. About his masters, the Shadows. About the TV show he had stepped from. And the realization hit me. I grinned, ever so slightly, and whispered around the pain. "What...do you want, Mr. Mordin?"

Mr. Mordin chuckled, dryly. "Do you know?"

"In..." I gritted my teeth. "In one of the books, I think...it mentioned your family..." I hissed. "Trapped in some kind of...hyperspatial hell? That's the term...I kept hearing?" I nodded. "The Shadows said they'd get them out."

Mr. Mordin nodded.

"Give me the key..." I held out my hand. "I...I'll save them. Mordin. I'll save them. I'll save everyone."

Mr. Mordin nodded again. "And the Nazis?"

"Fuck em," I whispered.

"I knew I could count on you, Mr. Fong," Mr. Mordin said, reaching into his vest. He set the water monk amulet and the credit card down on my hand. "My...associates didn't appreciate the idea of anyone seeking to build an empire that would last ten years -- let alone ten million." He smirked, slightly. "You and your friends did quite the job of dismantling their cross-recursion efforts. And there's nothing quite as...chaotic as what your Estate is trying to do. Keeping the Strange as it is -- wild and dangerous...and a perfect defense."

"Defense?" I asked.

"Ask your Admiral," Mr. Mordin said, then lifted his wrist. Despite being from the year 2259, he still had a wrist watch. Because he was from a TV show from the 90s. He pursed his lips. "You don't have much time, Mr. Fong."

I reached into my vest.

I had no idea how, but the screwdriver had gotten there.

Then it hit me.

Twi had said it.

Key.

She had put the key there.

So...

I pressed all three items together.

The glow in my hand was every color and no color. It washed over me. I screamed as I felt power overwhelming. It burned and it grew and it burned hotter and it grew still more -- and I focused my entire being on one thing as the admin key roared through me.

One thing.

One thing.

One...

CHAPTER SEVEN: Strange Epilogues

"Maaaaaaaaliiiiiiiiik!"

I groaned as I was jerked from a fantastic dream of being smothered to death by Twilight Sparkle's amazing, amazing titties. My head snapped up -- and then I felt a lurch. My eyes widened and I tumbled from bed. I stood and scrambled over to the alarm clock beside my bed and looked at it. It was, currently...June 24^th.

The day after the end of the school year.

All the weeks, the months, I had spent on the Normandy...with my friends...

It...

Was it a dream? Was...had it all been...a dream?

The door to my room opened and my Mom walked in, humming cheerfully. Her dusky, golden brown skin was mostly on display and looked freshly oiled. She was dressed in an incredibly sheer sling bikini, which looped between her legs and up and under her breasts. The thin strips of the black fabric just barely covered her nipples -- and showed quite clearly that she was completely hairless. "Malik, honey, do you think my-" She stopped, her eyes widening as she saw me. I was completely naked, after all.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, grabbing a pillow to cover my junk.

Mom bit her plush, kissable lips, her nipples puffing up and growing hard. "S-Sorry, honey..." She murmured, huskily, then stepped backwards, then closed the door behind her. My cheeks burned as my cock twitched, growing slightly hard. I shook my head, then started to dress, tugging on my clothes. As I rummaged in my hamper, I found a weird looking braclet in my dirty clothing. I held it up, my brow furrowing as I started to the door. Downstairs, I found Mom wearing an apron that covered her chest and her thighs -- but made it clear she was almost naked from behind. She stood in the kitchen, humming as she cooked breakfast.

"Uh..." I said. "I...met a cute girl yesterday..." I said, hesitantly.

"Should I be jealous?" Mom asked.

The doorbell rang.

My cheeks heated and I hurried to the door. When I opened it, I found myself facing...

Tabitha.

Twilight.

She grinned at me. "It worked," she whispered.

"Holyshit!" I squealed. "It wasn't a dream!"

Twi snorted. "That'd be a lame ending, wouldn't it?"

"Who is it, honey?" Mom asked, walking over to the front door. She slid her arm around my shoulder, mashing her breasts against my arm as she leaned in close. Her voice was a warm, hot purr in my ear. "Should I really be jealous?" She crooned.

"Auuhhh gottago!" I squeaked, grabbing Mom's arm and wrapping it around me, then backing away. "Bye Mom! Spending summer...with friends!" I made finger guns, backing up hurriedly as Twi laughed and took my hand. Mom shook her head and did look pretty dang jealous.

We walked, together, to the car that was parked out front. Festina sat in the front seat, reading a newspaper -- whose headline and text looked like tiny, illegible squiggles. As Twi and I came to the side door, Festina crumpled up the news paper. "Print medium is dead in every recursion," she said, then grinned wryly at me. "Hey kid. You look like you're about to piss yourself with relief."