Strawberry - A Shanghai Girl in America Ch. 02

Okay, I knew that Alan could tease me and excite me however he wanted. He could touch me however he wanted for that matter. Actually, he could do whatever he wanted to me. For my part, I'd do whatever he wanted me to do. Just like I had last Sunday.

But I wasn't going to tell him that. I didn't want him to think I was one of those easy gwei poh girls.

He'd have to find out for himself how easy I was. Easy for him. For my guy.

I was really looking forward to Alan finding out.

We parked in the restaurant parking lot. Alan's hand sat on my thigh. Now I turned to smile at him. I rested one hand on his where he touched me. My hand looked so tiny compared to his. So delicate. Like my xiǎo bī, so tiny and delicate compared to that big hard thing of his.

"I'm so wet," I whispered. I was. I was so so wet. I parted my legs a little, My hand urged his that half inch higher, so that his fingers touched me there. So he could feel how wet my panties were. "Feel me."

My other hand pulled my dress up so he could see those lacy red panties. So tiny. So cute and sexy. So wet now. I could see the excitement in his eyes. I could see the sudden bulging hardness held back by his trousers. I smiled, my smile as full of promise as I could make it. I parted my lips just a little, that wide-eyed breathlessly excited look that turns guys on. His fingers gently pressed my panties inwards. I felt myself part wetly for him, the red lace of my panties harsh against my sensitive lips. So good. So exquisite pleasure.

So loud my gasp.

I opened my door and slipped out of the car. I giggled when I saw his face as he stood on the other side. Now he was thinking about my bed and me.

"After dinner," I smiled, "greedy man."

"Tease." He laughed.

I giggled, giving him my very best demure and innocent look. Squeezing my legs together tight for just a second, shivering. Such joy in anticipation.

Alan was still chuckling when we walked through the restaurant doors. The maître d' took us straight to our table. It was fun watching all the men looking at me as we walked through the restaurant. So many older well-dressed men in expensive suits. The women they were with though, all so old. In Shanghai, in a place like this, half of them would have been girls like me. Girls my age, out for dinner with their zhaogu nianqingren. Here, it didn't seem like Americans did that so much. I had no idea why not.

Like all things in China, it seemed so sensible. Lots of girls need a zhaogu nianqingren. How else to get all those things you want but can't afford? But I did enjoy the looks I got as I walked through the restaurant with Alan. So many looks. So interested in me.

I'd always enjoyed that type of look in Shanghai, when I was out with Longwei. So lucky to have Longwei as a boyfriend, not like those girls with their older men. All the eyes looking at me, all the girls so jealous of my Longwei, looking at me enviously. So much fun to see that jealousy. All the men desiring me. So nice to know men find you attractive. Even hairy old gweilo men. So nice to know you were with such a shuài dāi le - and with such a wonderful di diao. Such a happy date tonight.

"Why's everyone looking at me?" I whispered in Alan's ear as we followed. He knew I was teasing him, he knew I knew why, he laughed, his arm around my waist so possessively. Such assurance. Such love for me. So happy.

We had a lovely little alcove all of our own, the windows overlooking the lake. When I sat down, my little dress rode up, exposing the bottom of my thighs. Almost exposing my butt. I could just about feel all those old gweilo men's eyes on my butt. So exciting to be looked at like that. I liked the feel of the cool leather seat on my butt. It made me want to wriggle. I liked the way Alan was looking at my dress too. I was going to leave a wet patch on that leather when I eventually stood.

Dinner was wonderful. I'd been to a few French restaurants back in Shanghai. I liked French food and this was almost as good as I remembered. Alan ordered this awful red wine though. Something from France. The label on the bottle said Clos de l'Oratoire. I knew that because I took a photo and emailed it to my friends back in Shanghai right away, along with Alan looking all blonde and hunky in his tuxedo. They would be so jealous.

About Alan, not about the wine.

That wine. Yes? Alan said it was a French wine from Bordeaux. Some place in France I guess. He said that it was really good. I took a little sip when the sommelier poured some into my glass. To taste, Alan said. I thought that was funny. In Shanghai, they fill your wineglass right to the brim straight away. Anything less just seems cheap. I guess it's different outside China.

Well, I didn't guess. I knew it was. I'd spent a couple of weekends before I left at a course on cultural differences and how to behave overseas. Not everybody was as civilized as us Chinese. The government now said that us students on Party scholarships should know what to expect when outside Zhongguo so as to make a good impression and cultivate a good image of Zhongguo. Longwei's Dad had arranged the scholarship for me through his Party connections. So thoughtful of Mr. Wang. My Dad had been so happy.

But it did seem cheap not to fill your glass up.

I remembered my lessons though, and I didn't say anything. Rù xiāng suí sú as they say. Which is of course why we Chinese fit in so well everywhere we go. Anyhow, I hadn't expected the wine to be so bad. Not at such a good restaurant. It was awful. It tasted of oak and tobacco like someone had smoked into it and it was so acidic and bitter. I didn't like it at all. Why would anyone drink this horrible stuff? Alan liked it though so he kept that bottle for himself. Gweilo tastes are so strange. I mean they eat this awful cereal stuff in the morning instead of a nice bowl of congee. But this was America after all, not the Middle Kingdom, I was sure I'd get used to the way they did things in time. But not to that horrible wine.

Thank goodness Alan learned so fast. It might not take too long to civilize him. He was already eating dim sum.

It turned out that they did have some nice wine though. No Swiss wine, which was a little disappointing. The sommelier kind of looked at me funny when I asked. That was probably because Swiss wine was a bit too expensive for most Americans and they didn't have it in their wine cellar. It was certainly expensive enough in Shanghai. Longwei had ordered some once to impress me when we'd been out at my favorite Shanghai nightclub, Richbaby. It had. I'd been very impressed. Actually, that had been the night Longwei had achieved his heart's desire.

Maybe it had been the Swiss wine. I'd been so impressed when I'd seen how much that bottle of wine he'd ordered at Richbaby where we were out dancing cost. My Dad was wealthy, even by Shanghai standards. Not rich, nowhere near as wealthy as Longwei's Dad, but well off. By American standards, very well off. Still, he wouldn't have paid what that Swiss wine cost. Longwei hadn't even blinked at the cost. When he saw I liked it, he'd ordered a second bottle right away. That had made me blink. I'd also drunk rather too much of it. Which was probably why, after we left that club, I'd let Longwei achieve his hearts desire with me, but that's another story for another day.

I sighed again, remembering Longwei.Remembering his passion for me, remembering the things we had done together, the eagerness he always showed when he was alone with me. Our parting had been so bittersweet. That passionate night together in a hotel at Shanghai Pudong International Aiport. Those sad farewells as a chapter of my life came to an end, as I flew out to America.

Was the achievement of those dreams of an eighteen year old girl worth that year of sacrifice? My father would have said yes, I knew his businesses had flourished. He'd never said a word to me after I started dating Longwei, but he knew. He knew that I knew that he knew. Neither of us mentioned it.

Ever.

Longwei and I, so not a topic for discussion.

As for me, I'd enjoyed being Longwei's girlfriend, but if I was honest with myself, I'd always known I was only temporary for him. However much he said he loved me, I knew it was only to make me happy that he said that, however much I pretended to myself otherwise.

Remembering Longwei, I brushed back a tear. With a struggle, I brushed back the bittersweet memories. That was a digression into the past. I didn't want to go there. Longwei was a long way away and long gone now. Meiying was gone now too.

Here, here in America, I was a new person. Here, I was Strawberry.

Alan's love for me was genuine, not a pretence, not to give me face. He didn't just desire my beauty. He really did love me for myself. For being myself, for being my own person, for being Strawberry. No duty to the family. No obligations. Just me. That was so wonderful.

I was in America, I was having a wonderful dinner with Alan and my girlfriends back home were going to be soooooo jealous. There was nothing to feel sad about. The food was just divine and the Austrian white wine the sommelier found for me was so easy to drink, ice cold and so nice and sweet. Not as good as that Swiss wine but then, I guess with China having all the world's money now, we had all the best wine too. The sommelier was nice though, he explained that Austria was right next to Switzerland and the wine was probably very similar.

That was funny. I always thought Austria was that place below Singapore on the map where we Chinese went for nice holidays and to play golf and stroke those cuddly little bears. Alan explained that no, that was called Australia. Austria. Australia. Seemed similar to me. Maybe Australians came from Austria or something. Whatever, it was one of those nice to know things that just wasn't that important unless you actually had to deal with gweilo's. The Austrian wine was nice though so I didn't mind if it was Austrian or Australian or whatever.

I got all giggly by the time I'd finished the bottle. I almost fell of my chair when we were having dessert. And Alan got me so excited. He kept saying "Fuck, Strawberry" under his breath. When he said that, I knew he wanted me so much and that just made me so wet. But he wasn't going to get what he wanted here in the restaurant. I wasn't THAT kind of Chinese girl. Although with another bottle of that Austrian wine I might be. Very easily.

That made me feel even more excited. So very wet. So wet patch on the seat beneath me. When I told Alan that and why, he said "Fuck, Strawberry" again, which kind of made me giggle all over again. I didn't tell him that one or two of my girlfriends back in Shanghai probably were that kind of girl even without the wine. Longwei was probably dating a girl like that right now, which didn't make me jealous. Not at all.

I had Alan now.

I almost fell over a couple of times when we were leaving the restaurant. Alan and the waiter had to help me to the car, which just made me giggle even more so that I almost fell onto someone else's table. "Sorry," I giggled. "So sorry." They were nice though, they smiled happily at me. The waiter was very nice too. So helpful and polite. He smiled a lot at Alan too. Maybe he was gay?

It dawned on me that that was why Alan was looking embarrassed. Our waiter was gay and trying to pick Alan up. No wonder he'd been blushing when we walked through the restaurant on the way out. Almost, I said something. I knew Alan wasn't gay. With Longwei, I could have made a joke about it to make him laugh, but American humor was different. If I said something and got it wrong, Alan might lose face. He was my guy, I couldn't risk that. I couldn't cause him to lose face.

I did wonder if Alan had drunk too much to drive back to my place. I wasn't going to ask though. Like I said before, I didn't want him to lose face. Besides, I knew Alan was a good driver. He'd driven all the way to the restaurant with one hand on my leg. He used two hands on the wheel to drive back to my house though so I knew he was being careful. Some of the cars around us sounded their horns now and then.

Maybe I should have waited until we got to my place to take my panties off. That seemed to distract Alan a little. But my xiǎo bī was so hot and so wet and I wanted him to touch me. I was so disappointed that he didn't, even after I told him how wet I was for him.

When we parked outside my house, he turned the engine off and slumped back in his seat.

I thought I heard him say "Thank Christ that's over" which puzzled me a bit. It would have puzzled me more except I wasn't paying much attention to anything he said. I was leaning forward over his lap giggling and trying to work his zipper down. It had been such a nice dinner and that wine had been lovely and he'd been so funny. And he'd got me so excited at the restaurant when he talked about fucking me.

All the way back, I couldn't stop thinking about what we were going to do. I wanted to give him his reward right there and then. I didn't want to wait. I was going to unzip him and get that nice hard di diao of his out and I was going to sit on him and cào him until he shèjīng in me.

Then I was going to take him to my bed and do it all over again. It sounded good to me.

His hand stopped me. "Let's go inside Strawberry."

That seemed like a really good idea too. Maybe better. There was a lot more room on my bed than in the car. I'd done it with Longwei in his Ferrari and it had been a bit cramped. Alan's car was bigger than that Ferrari, but Alan was a lot bigger than Longwei too. Bigger everywhere. That made me giggle again. Bed was better. And there was this thing I wanted to try with him that I'd done with Longwei that I thought Alan might like. I was sure I would. I had when Longwei did it to me. "Okay."

My legs didn't seem to be working very well. I almost fell getting out of the car. Alan was so nice though. He just picked me up and carried me in his arms, all the way inside, past my surprised looking housemates, up the stairs and into my bedroom. My guy. So strong. I just looked up at him, admiring that handsome face. Giggling. He put me down on my bed, which was exactly where I wanted to be. On my back, on my bed. Let my guy do the hard work. I'd make all the noise and do the biting and scratching and wave my feet in the air. That seemed like a fair trade.

All I needed now was Alan on me and in me and everything would be perfect. A perfect ending to a wonderful evening. I reached behind my neck and undid the tie there, pulling the front of my dress down to bare my breasts. The dress was so short all I had to do was part my legs to expose my xiǎo bī to him. I wanted him in my xiǎo bī so very much. Alan looked down at me and smiled.

"God, you're so fucking hot Strawberry, even if you are totally faceless." His eyes looked me up and down. I wanted to melt. I WAS melting. I could feel my xiǎo bī, all wet and slippery and hot and totally ready for him. I reached down with both hands, stroked my inner thighs, spread my legs wider apart. Alan was a big guy, he needed lots of room. I needed to spread my legs wide for him. I watched his face as my fingers traced their way up to my xiǎo bī, as I used my fingertips to ease my lips apart, exposing my pink wetness to him, shivering with greedy anticipation. I was ready for my guy. Totally ready.

Wait a minute.

He'd said I was faceless?

What did he mean, faceless?

I had face. I hadn't done anything to lose face. Had I? He was laughing. At me.

I sat up.

"What you mean, I faceless?" I was upset now. And my English was starting to slip. It did when I got angry. Now, suddenly, I was angry. Faceless? He was insulting me. "I am not lost face? Why you being rude to me Alan?" I stood up. My dress fell to the floor, pooled around my ankles, leaving me naked.

"You think because I let you have me I have no face, you think that? That is so rude Alan, you ... you ..." I was so angry. So upset. My perfect date in ruins. So rude. He was so rude to me. I burst into tears. He thought I had no face! So little respect for me. "Out ... out ... you leave now ... Go ... Go ... Out ... how you be so mean to me ..."

"Strawberry ... Strawberry ... that wasn't... I didn't ..."

"Out ... out ... go now ... So mean ... so rude ...I not lose face ... I not..." I felt like my heart had been broken. Felt? My heart was broken. Shattered. I'd thought he cared for me. I thought he loved me. But really, to him, after I'd let him have his way with me, I had no face. I had no face? Longwei didn't love me, not really, but he'd never told me I had no face. No, Longwei had given me lots of face. So much respect. So nice to me. So thoughtful. Alan so mean. So disrespectful.

I was so desolated. So angry. So upset. So furious. So loud. I was yelling. Me!

"I think you better leave now." Linda's voice, so cold and authoritative. My housemate.

"But ... but she ...I mean ..." Alan sounded upset.

"Leave now, please." Linda had his arm, she was taking him out of my room. I wanted to throw something at him. So I did. The first thing I could find. My tài dí xióng. My little teddy bear that Longwei had given me. That he'd bought for me when he'd taken me to the Shanghai Takashimaya to go shopping. It bounced off his head. Cathy and Ramona came rushing in as Linda led Alan out. I sat down on my bed and burst into tears. I hated Alan. I hated him.

"What's wrong ... what happened Strawberry?" Cathy sat down next to me, an arm around me. Ramona picked up my poor little tài dí xióng before she shut the door and draped my robe around me. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't talk. I just wanted to die. Leaving Longwei had been nowhere near this bad. I cried and cried and cried.

Linda came back in, closing my door behind her. "He's gone." She sounded satisfied. She had a mug in her hand. "Here, I made you a cup of your tea Strawberry."

I took it from her, sniffling. I sipped gratefully, inhaling the scent. Jasmine tea. I took another small sip. That made it easier to tell them the awful thing that had happened.

"He said I had no face." I was sobbing again. Crying my heart out. "I sleep with him last weekend, I think he so wonderful, so great, he love me. I love him. Tonight he tell me I have no face." I buried my head on Cathy's shoulder. "I want to die ... I feel so bad ... He break my heart."

Linda sounded puzzled. "Strawberry ... Strawberry ... tell me .. tell us ... what did he actually say ... can you remember?"

I did. I remembered every cruel word, every single heartless word, sliced into my heart as if by a razor How could I bring myself to repeat those horrible horrible words he'd used? I sniffled. "He said to me, he said 'You're so fucking hot Strawberry' and then he said ... ohh so horrible ... he said 'even if you're totally faceless'. He say that to me." I wailed into Cathy's shoulder. "He tell me I have no face. He so cruel, so heartless. I want to die."

"Oh Shit." Linda's tone stopped my crying. I looked up, still sniffling.

Linda and Ramona and Cathy were all looking at one another. I couldn't understand their expressions. Gwai poh all look the same to start with, until you get used to them. I looked at them.

"What?" I sniffled.

"Uhh, Strawberry, in America, we don't say someone has no face," Ramona said. She sounded very strange. Not like Ramona.

"Uhh, when he said you were faceless, he meant you were drunk," Cathy added.

"And you are, Strawberry," Linda said reprovingly. "You are very very drunk."

They were all looking at me.

I knew right then that I'd made a terrible terrible mistake.

"Daxiang baozhashi de laduzi!" Then I threw up.

On the floor. On my dress. On Cathy. On Linda. On Ramona. On me. In my hair. On my bed. On my little black dress. On my poor little tài dí xióng. Everywhere.