She had asked me to get her a vibrator. Why I was blessed with this task I don't know but whatever reason she had it was my task and I must get her a good one.
But how am I supposed to know what is a good one, are there brand names? What if I get her the wrong one and it shorts out... while in her... yipes!!
There must be some logical process to it thought, I mean usually the more expensive the better, right, ok so I will just get her one that's of medium expense.
But what size? Would she want the jumbo goliath vibrotron 8000? Or a more modest one she could fit in her pocket? What about width the girth, the girth of the damn thing!! What if I get one that is too wide and she can't get it in or it hurts her?
Must stay calm, must relax it’s not the end of the world, Armageddon will not come because I got the wrong vibe for my girlfriend. Crap the store is coming up soon and I still have no clue.
I’ve never been to one of these stores; will they look at me funny if I buy a vibrator? This is worse than the time she sent me to buy her some lingerie, I have no instructions I am not ready to do this!, but if I go back without one she will think I’m a wuss and might even break up with me.
Why, why WHY did she ask me to do this? Guys aren't good with this, we think the only toy a woman needs is in our pants, oh my god, I must be inadequate she needs to resort to electronic stimulation to stay happy.
OR what if she wants to use it on me; I knew I shouldn't have asked her if she would like to do anal. If that's the case maybe I should stick with a smaller one, but then if it is for her she might not like it.
Maybe if I beat my head against the door for a while some nice person will help me, yeah help me to the loony bin. She’s so nice most of the time how did she ever come up with this task for me?
Ok I just gotta walk through that door, that's all, the answer will present itself. Ok here I go...
OH MY GOD!!
There are so many!! I'm verging on a nervous breakdown here! Which one to choose, the 8' slimline vibemaster, the 5' pussrouter with detachable spikes, the 15' monster cock?? Vibrator or dong? Realistic or designed for comfort.
Tempted to just assume the fetal position in a corner and wait for it all to go away. I bravely browsed, looking at first one row and then the next hoping to find something that stood apart from the rest.
Hmmm this one has adjustable speeds, this one doesn't but it has a bigger motor this one has no motor but it has realistic testicles dangling, they even feel real... I was this close from feeling another man's testicles, sigh what power women have over us to make us do such things.
There it is the ultimate vibrator the silver bullet, 8' long polished ummmm chrome or something, but its called the silver bullet, adjustable speed powerful and it even looks good, hell of a lot nicer than that ball thing back a few aisles. It’s perfect she'll love it... maybe... maybe she'd like the ball thing, maybe she wants the pussrouter, I just don't know.
In retrospect falling to the floor with a vibrator in each hand and then banging my head against the floor until the paramedics came wasn't such a good idea. But when I regained consciousness there at the foot of my hospital bed in a box all nicely wrapped, lay the silver bullet and I knew that I had gotten the right thing, even though it did disturb me that I didn't remember anything after collapsing in the store.
My girlfriend came to see me today, the nice doctors allowed me to have visitors today although I had to stay behind the protective glass. She said she was very happy with the silver bullet and she was glad she sent me for it. I can't say I liked the look on her face when she said that I will enjoy it to.
Oh well I survived it and now well she could have at least taken it out of the box before she used it on me, but it is over and we are happy, and that's what really matters, isn't it?