Study Break Ch. 01

A few days into the New Year, we received some news that put a halt to our whirlwind romance.

Under-staffed, the university assigned me to teach a 200-level American Literature survey... and because it was necessary for the general education requirements for her art degree, Vicky had to enroll in my class. I had no choice because teaching undergrads was not only my day job but also required for my Master's degree. Vicky had no choice either because nobody but me was teaching that class. Her student visa and scholarships also meant she couldn't wait to take the class another semester. Against our wills, we officially became teacher and student, and our relationship was unsanctioned. Good thing we had kept it a secret till then, even from our friends.

I'll admit the notion to break up and let the system win occurred to me, but before I could pull the cord Vicky said she wanted to hold out, to endure. Vicky cared about me that much, she believed our relationship was worth it.

Although I didn't say it out loud until nearly a month later on Valentine's Day, I knew at that exact moment that I loved her.

Even still, it was very risky, with a lot at stake. While our relationship wasn't technically against the law, it might as well had been because of the consequences. I could be fired from my job, both of us could expelled from our majors, and possibly blacklisted from enrolling in another school, and to top it all off: Vicky could have her student visa revoked and she'd be deported back to the UK, and worse, possibly barred from re-entering the States for a long time.

We had to be chaste, innocent, and professional on campus to avoid attracting suspicion. We couldn't hang out much outside of campus either—the university was located in the center of the city and it was too easy to run into someone who attended or taught there.

In addition, Vicky lived in the dorms so our only refuge was my apartment located in the suburban outskirts of the city. The commute was brutal for each of us and the separation was just as bad. It was like we were having a long-distance affair.

Looking back, I sometimes called it a blessing and curse... If we had kept going at that rate we were back in December, we probably would have burnt out on sex, gotten bored of each other, and the relationship would have sizzled. I'd made that mistake before. Ever hear the phrase, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder and familiarity breeds disinterest"?

But by the time my thesis deadline was nearing, we had already been living that way for four months—only seeing each other on the weekends, which some couples would consider good enough, but for Vicky and I, it was a sexual and emotional drought. The final revision on my thesis was putting a wedge between us. In the midst of the stress and tension, I could feel Vicky's resentment for the situation. Going into this, she knew it would be hard to see each other, but the project was taking up every spare minute of my time, and she didn't sign on for that.

I felt like I was losing her to my work. Vicky had a libido I struggled to keep up with even when nothing was keeping us apart. She may have been an alt girl, but she was beautiful and charismatic regardless. If she couldn't get satisfaction from me, she could easily get it from someone else.

Vicky wasn't just the best sex I'd ever had in my life... she was the first and only woman I had ever truly loved.

So was three years of work—my Master's degree, my career, my reputation—worth losing her?