Sufferance Ch. 11

"Meaning what? What's a conduit?"

She sighed softly, reaching for a towel to dry her hands. She turned around to look at me. "It means I'm a useful tool, like you are, except you get to go outside more."

Gaelan was being obtuse with intention, but rather than getting annoyed with her I considered what I'd seen before. Lelinahdara with her hands on Gaelan's shoulders, D'Shea was nearby. I knew they had been responsible for the magical communication between all the Red Sisters during the most recent battle with the Illithids but I'd only ever heard D'Shea's mental voice. In the afterglow of the battle, a horny Jaunda had wanted to put me beneath her immediately, but D'Shea had claimed me instead, handing our Lead the "conduit" Gaelan instead...

...who had been drunk on magic, lethargic, aroused and pliable.

I couldn't have known it before, but if I had to guess, it was not unlike the effects of the incense Wilsirathon had used on me, and not unlike the arousal I'd witnessed in Kerse as he served as the magical feedback loop during that Abyssal ritual. His sexual release had wrecked it.

I blinked at my roommate, who'd now come closer to me, her face set firmly.

"You can channel magic, strengthen or stabilize it," I guessed. From the surprised look on her face, it was a very good guess. "But yet...you're not a mage, Gaelan?"

"A minor one," she said tightly. "A stronger mage can use a weaker one as a conduit. You're lucky you only have Nobles' inborn abilities but no stronger magic, Sirana. With D'Shea as your Elder...you're more lucky than you know."

Gaelan moved over to busy herself neatening my possessions on the long wooden table on the left, and I let it be quiet between us as I considered these things. Gaelan and Kerse had something in common: being used for the magical boost they give to a more powerful will, kept close at hand to their respective mistresses. Both were fairly unhappy about it...because they wanted...what? They look at me and want what I have? Which was what?

*...you get to go outside more.*

Meanwhile, those same powerful wills wanted me for their own reasons. Gaelan still did not know about the Duergar which had left a smear of himself on my mind, or about the...odd things that were happening to me because of it. D'Shea did, though, and....dung. Wilsirathon was starting to get an idea of it as well. She knew I was growing resistant to spells that affected the mind or will, and she knew I'd heard a telepathic voice.

Then there was Shyntre...also known to D'Shea, also very, very magical.

*...he is more yours than mine.*

What good would it do me to let Gaelan continue to think that I was in any better place than she was? Watching the different males on this last trip helped put some of these things into perspective.

I cleared my throat, waited, then cleared it again and waited until Gaelan finally turned around to look at me. "My apologies for taking your Feldeu just as our Elder was giving you more lead. I did not know before...and I did not mean to ruin those plans for you."

Her white brows shot up high on her forehead, and she again looked angry but mixed with that mournful hurt I wasn't sure I'd seen on anyone but her.

"You owe me something for it," she said through clenched teeth, her eyes somehow brightening. "You set me back years, Sirana, and put yourself forward. That wasn't our agreement!"

"Nor was it our agreement to move forward at the same pace," I said, "but I...I could only tell you that the Feldeu training was different for me than it was for you. My action was directly related to that."

She shook her head. "So what? You hadn't earned it but you still managed to...I don't even know how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"D'Shea told me you not only used it to pleasure yourself and on another Sister besides me, but also tortured another race with it! All in the same fucking cycle! Is that true?"

"Well...yes. Is that unusual? Jaunda does it."

"She's a Lead," Gaelan spat. "She's had practice. What practice have you had wielding a foreign appendage?"

I frowned. "With D'Shea, quite a lot."

My Sister shook her head again, but I understood it to be frustration rather than rejection. I saw her white teeth clenched and bared though she partly covered her face with her hand. Her entire body was tense.

"No, you haven't. Capturing you on the Hunt and knowing your body was the best pleasure I ever had with that thing," she said. "I have never peaked just from stroking, even if it feels good. It takes time, I've been told. And you managed to use it on another race...?"

Her expression betrayed some disgust which she reigned in soon after. "That takes practice as well, or an attitude like Jaunda's. New Sisters may get lucky and dominate an older one with a Feldeu like you did, but most also have to learn to overcome their natural reservation against other races!"

In that case, I think I cheated...I knew what it was supposed to feel like with a dwarf, thanks to Kain. It was possible I would not be so easily tempted with any given third race. I kept my mouth closed on that, however, and considered that D'Shea had told Gaelan quite a bit about my Hunt for Jael, hadn't she? That was curious.

"You claim I owe you something," I said. "Have something in mind?"

"Your agreement never to take anything of mine ever again. Until the moment you die."

*Or you die,* I couldn't help but think. Either death would fulfill such terms.

When I didn't reply immediately, she added, "And the next time we couple, you submit to me. Prove to me you aren't just wagging your tongue with that apology."

Next time. I half-smiled. "So it's a foregone conclusion that we'll couple again?"

"Yes," she said boldly. "Even if I have to take you."

My mouth expanded to a full grin and I chuckled; I loved the feeling of challenge that brought. Little angry Gaelan... "Could be fun."

I thought I detected a twitch of a smile from her, but she quashed it. "Well?"

I considered. "On not taking anything of yours, I must clarify that I will if I'm formally ordered."

She narrowed her eyes. "Meaning you can hint to a higher rank to order you to and get around our agreement," she said flatly.

I shrugged. "I could. But I agree not to take any object of yours, Galean, nor to employ that workaround to achieve the same."

Bright copper eyes stared into mine as she gauged my sincerity; I stared back levelly.

"And?" she prompted.

I smiled. "I'll not make it easy...but you're invited to try to dominate me. I'll accept what you want to do to me for one eve if you catch my cunt with your fingers before I catch yours."

Evidently Gaelan considered that to be enough; she even looked a bit excited at the coming fight. She nodded. "Agreed."

The Red Sister closest to me in age and rank, my captor, my roommate...I was sure she wanted to kiss me then, or touch me, the way she looked at me. She did neither. I knew why; we were waiting for D'Shea, and we couldn't spoil anything she might deduce from my body only just returned from Wilsirathon's service.

It was a fairly long wait, and the tension between us increased slowly as we remained quiet and thinking our own thoughts. Gaelan's comment about my going outside more often played with my mind more; as I recalled, I went out more with her at the beginning of my training, after I'd been tested by every Red Sister, but it had become far less and even stopped within a few months. I was being sent out on my own, and I'd assumed she was out on her own missions as well.

Perhaps that was not the case. Where was she, then, the many times I'd returned to our room to find it empty?

We both straightened up when the door slid open and Elder D'Shea came through. She was dressed in her full reds and her face was set and serious. She nodded first to Gaelan then to me as she removed her cloak to hang it up, tugging off her gloves and undoing belt to add them to the wall. She continued undressing as she walked past us father back into her room. It would seem she was changing to her comfortable mage's robes.

"Gaelan, report," she said simply, and her subordinate spoke as she continued to change.

My roommate's eyes glanced briefly at me, I wasn't sure why, but when she spoke I had an idea.

"Some bruising healed from the inside, some topical healing done on her flank, no major injuries, though."

Ah , yes. They'd be talking about me like an object, without talking to me for the next while. It might've been more irritating except that I'd just spent the journey experiencing the same in all around me who tried to pretend I wasn't there. I also found it interesting; Gaelan had been giving me an exam and I hadn't realized it. So what did the blue glow mean when she—?

"Semen has been deposited in all three of her orifices within the last two cycles. The most recent was in her sex."

Of course. Neat trick.

D'Shea looked at me directly and I smiled, if a little tensely, and then she looked back to Gaelan.

"She has used both of her issued prevention draughts, but possesses two others not issued to her. She carried a bloodstone not previously issued, and a blue pendant around her neck. None of her equipment is missing." She listed it off.

I thought about the list and realized there was one thing missing...the cloth Auslan had used to tend Kerse's claw marks. Had I dropped it?

"Hold," D'Shea said to Gaelan, lifting her hands for her silence, and she was staring at me, had been the whole time Gaelan was talking. "What is it, Sirana? Speak."

"I had a white, blooded cloth as well, Elder. My blood, used to tend the wound on my side. It's not in one of my pouches?"

D'Shea looked at Gaelan, who shook her head. "No...I never found an item like that."

My first thought was that perhaps Gaelan was still angry and had taken something of mine in return...but D'Shea walked up to her subordinate and touched her, asking exactly that. Gaelan's response was honest; she didn't have it.

"I figure explaining that cloth will require some context?" D'Shea asked me.

"Most definitely, Elder."

"Which do you think mostly likely: you may have dropped it, or someone took it?"

I thought about it. I'd taken it from Auslan, put it in my pouch...I'd only pulled it out again to wipe Kerse's fluids off my face before putting it back and picking up Curgia in that nursery room. No one had gotten close enough to take it, unless...

Well, there was the one last time Kerse had mounted me—upon waking before we were to return to the Sanctuary, the very last of our arrangement. I'd been fully naked on my back; Shyntre had watched my gear as before, Wilsira had decided to include herself and straddle my face. But...no, I'd checked my equipment after the wizard had watched it, just as always. The cloth had been there then.

"Perhaps I dropped it on the journey back, Elder," I said. "I don't see the opportunity for someone to take it. It would have only been a few marks ago; I had it earlier."

"I'll send a team out to retrace your path," she said. "It's unlikely...if it had blood on it, it may have been found quickly by many things, but we will try. Anything else they should know of this item?"

"Mm. Some semen stains. I used it later as well."

D'Shea left that for the report with context as well. She plucked out a basic map from her scrolls, had me show her the path the carriage had taken, and summoned one of the teams to give them their assignment. It was done with high efficiency and the three of us were soon alone again as before.

"Alright," D'Shea sat down to be comfortable and left Gaelan and I standing. "If you please, Sirana. Start from the beginning."

It was one of my most difficult and convoluted recitals...if I'd thought Jael's Hunt was bad, this was worse. It started out well enough; I'd taken D'Shea's knowledge and advice and my time meeting the Priestess for the first time at Sanctuary went well enough. My Elder did not seem too surprised when I mentioned Shyntre had been asked to come along. She listened avidly to the details of the journey, of the tortured and poison Drow whose body I'd burned, and of arriving at House D'Verin.

She was clearly disappointed in me that the wizard had gotten the best of me and that allowed Wilisrathon to make her arguments for better protection and surprise me with Kerse. As it continued, I found that I couldn't answer many of D'Shea's questions, either because I hadn't been able to trust my senses or because I hadn't been witness to it. My Elder reprimanded me quietly on several points of the agreement—those points that I had already reflected upon and wanted to blame on some magical influence from the Priestess herself.

"That may be the case, but you see how dangerous she is now, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes, Elder, I do."

"Is Kerse the only male you coupled with? Gaelan's magic says you took semen in your mouth and backside as well."

I felt my face heat up. "He is, Elder. Those times were such that I did not have time to allow a prevention draught to take effect. It was necessary."

D'Shea nodded. "I believe you. Gaelan, did your exam include a pregnancy test?"

"Um...no, Elder."

"It is always the next step in procedure when you find semen in the birth canal," the Elder said tightly.

Gaelan and I had begun discussing other things at the time.

"I'm sorry, Elder."

"Do it now. As I've shown you."

Gaelan approached me and got down on one knee in front of me, gently placing her right hand over my womb while holding my hip with her left. She closed her eyes and started chanting.

"Keep going, Sirana," D'Shea ordered.

"Mm? Well—"

"Ignore Gaelan and continue your report," she said emphatically.

"Yes, Elder."

D'Shea listened intently to my interaction and arrangement with Shyntre, her face not betraying much besides the interest in the intrigue itself. In the middle of it, Gaelan removed her hand from my belly button and stood up, shaking her head in the negative as she moved back.

"Not right now, at least," D'Shea commented. "We'll test again later on. Continue."

So I hadn't caught while on the trip; and the only chance now was if my last potion had failed somehow. I liked my chances, and continued describing events.

There was one point where I deviated in my report; I'd already given so much lurid and intimate detail, admitted so many mistakes by then, that when I portrayed my visit with Auslan as very similar to my previous visits with him, downplaying just how inquisitive he'd been about my presence with the Priestess and never mentioning the information we'd traded...D'Shea didn't notice. It would seem I did not give away any tells.

As a result, D'Shea knew I was extremely curious about Shyntre, but didn't know that I knew he was birthed by someone in the Sisterhood. She also didn't know about Auslan's connection to the wizard. I left out the part of them talking in the garden entirely. Soon enough I reached nearly to the point where we would leave House Itlaun to return here, and my Elder called back to an earlier point.

"The Consort was able to save Curgia's life?" D'Shea asked with some skepticism.

"Yes, Elder. Do I take it that this is unusual?"

"Not unheard of for a Consort also to be a healer, but..." She considered. "Auslan was never reported before as having the ability. This is good to know. Did you witness the process?"

"No, Elder. I was summoned by the Priestess and required to leave the room."

"So it's only what you overheard the Matron telling the Priestess."

"No, Elder, you'll recall I heard Matron Itlaun ask a servant to wake him and bring him to her. I saw him touch her forehead and he behaved like he intended to take some kind of action. This was whole marks before that conversation."

"Of course. And you never saw the stillborn?"

"No, though I did see Matron Itlaun's face when she referred to it. It was not pureblood, you know it wasn't."

"I know. But you didn't see it dead."

I breathed out. "No, Elder. Wilsirathon chose to interrogate me then before she fell asleep."

"And you handled that fairly well, but for the Priestess using it as an excuse to send for you later..." She sighed. "Were you making up the reason for the disruption to prevent Wilsira from suspecting her son's lack of control?"

I paused. "Not...to the best of my knowledge, Elder."

D'Shea looked a bit surprised. "You are not sure."

"I thought I felt a voice like I've felt before with Lana, and the wizard's blue pendant was glowing briefly. They did happen simultaneously, and the gem was struck by a psionic attack previously."

"That may still not mean what you think it means, Sirana."

"I understand, Elder. But the timing was notable."

"But with a ritual happening at the same time..." D'Shea shook her head. "It's impossible to know for sure what happened. How certain are you that Kerse climaxing is actually what disrupted it?"

"Very certain. The voice disappeared shortly before Kerse broke his guard and reached for me, and I talked with him while pleasuring him, you recall. He said she wanted planar names. Curgia screamed and I felt the magic fall apart as Kerse's seed spurted all over my face."

Gaelan covered her mouth with her hand at the mental image.

"Which brings us to the cloth used to clean you up that's now missing," D'Shea said, tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair. "What had you intended to do with it?"

I shrugged slightly. "Throw it away, eventually. I just didn't want to leave it behind in Itlaun's garbage."

My Elder nodded slowly. "Generally a good idea."

I got the feeling there was something she wasn't saying. Again.

"The bloodstone," she said now. "Gaelan, bring it to me."

Gaelan did, and we both watched as D'Shea turned it over in her hand, studying it, whispering an odd word here and there, the fingernail on her thumb scraping at the specks of my blood that yet remained on it. She did not take her eyes off it even when she spoke on a different topic altogether.

"Shyntre gave the pendant back to you when he saw it had been changed," she said quietly.

When she said nothing more, I responded with an equally quiet, "Yes, Elder."

"What do you think of him now, Sirana?" she asked. "Given how it was the first time between you."

I had to be very careful here. "He's still as he was—intelligent but overburdened with anger. He resists providing answers, it makes me only more intrigued. He despises us and I would like to know why."

"Are you asking?"

Why not?

"Yes, Elder. Why does Shyntre hate the Sisterhood so?"

My Elder smiled, her eyes still on the bloodstone. "Have you seen Jael yet, Sirana?"

That was taking an abrupt sharp turn in the discussion, wasn't it?

"No, Elder. Is she still with the Sisterhood?"

"She is. She'd had a harder time than you, I dare say, since a few of the Sisters aren't convinced she should have been saved. Rausery and Qivni both, however, are two of those who changed her mind, and it has made all the difference. I believe they are very pleased with her, even if she is still naked most of the time and she rages against us still."

As much interest as this held for me, why were we suddenly discussing our newest recruit when we had been discussing the wizard from my trial...?

D'Shea's eyes finally flicked toward me, and she was still smiling. There was a connection in the conversation that I was missing. I listened to my intuition again; how much I had learned that might suggest to me...

Oh.

"The Sisterhood tested Shyntre in some way?" I asked.

I'd never actually told her that Shyntre had revealed to me he knew of the Feldeu; she'd been too annoyed with me at the time, having been surprised to hear I was at the Tower from the headmaster Phaellous himself. I had also kept back that I knew of a blood connection, just for now, until I had an opportunity to follow up with Auslan again. Then I would find a way to bring it up to her.