Summer of 1984

When he rolled off, he rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair again. "Jesus Christ, Matty, that was unbelievable."

"Better than fucking a woman?"

"I don't know about 'better.' But, certainly tighter. And, I couldn't believe I could go all the way in."

"So, you liked it?" I confirmed.

"Sure. What's not to like? Your ass is smooth and tight and warm."

"I liked it, too. A lot."

"Really? It doesn't hurt?"

"It hurts a little at first. But, then it's like magic."

"Well, I am a magician with my dick," he said, tousling my hair.

*****

Monday was our last day on the river. I woke up before John Mark. He was spooning me, and I could feel his morning wood in my backside. I pushed back into him.

"Easy, Tiger," he urged.

"Just once more, before we go, please."

"My mind is saying no, but my cock is saying yes," he said, pushing his erection into me.

We were already in position, so I just rolled my left leg over my right and waited for him to enter me. John Mark forced me over the rest of the way, kneeled between my legs, and dropped a large dollop of spit into the crack of my ass. I opened my legs and myself as much as I could, and he pressed into me smoothly. He was up on his arms behind me, in the same position he'd been in when I'd watched him fuck DeeDee. I used my ass to work his cock. He hit my button, and I insisted he "stay right there." He slowly ground me up, leaving my ass weak and wrecked when he drove in as deep as he could and filled me with his wet warmth. When he was finished, he lowered himself onto me, covering my back with his sweaty chest, and kissed the back of my head.

Gramps drove us home. John Mark and I were in the backseat of his 1977 Chrysler New Yorker, a beast of a car. I reached over and took John Mark's hand in mine. It was rough. He worked as a mechanic at his father's shop. It's all he had ever wanted to do. He had screwed around at Creighton and headed right back to his father's shop once he graduated. I liked the feel of his hand, which was much larger than mine. I gave it a squeeze, and I got a squeeze back. I put my head on his shoulder, he tousled my hair, and I fell asleep. I slept most of the drive home.

Fourth of July

My grandparents crushed me when they told me there'd be no weekend on the river for the Fourth. My grandfather had shingles, and he was in too much pain.

I had really been looking forward to it. I didn't think DeeDee would make it, and I wondered if John Mark and I would pick up where we had left off six weeks before.

I had graduated, and my parents had a small barbecue for my dad's side of the family to celebrate (my mom was a native Virginian and her family was all still there). DeeDee and John Mark were there. Pregnancy and her small, thin frame made DeeDee look like a snake that had swallowed a golf ball.

Of course, John Mark tousled my hair when he showed up. It was becoming clear that I was always going to be the baby, no matter that I was 18 and a graduated. That he (and he rest of the family) dwarfed me didn't help.

After cake, John Mark and I played catch in the yard. "Hey, Matty, I've been batting around an idea in my head. I know it won't be the same without Granny and Gramps, but what do you say you and I head to the cabin for the 4th?"

My heart leapt. "Seriously? That would be awesome."

"I can't leave until after work on Friday and I have to be back for work on Monday, but we'd have all day Saturday and most of Sunday on the river."

"I'll have to get clearance from the 'rents." Although I was 18, they constantly reminded me that, so long as I lived in their house, I had to live by their rules.

"Okay, let me know. . . ." I ran toward the house before he could finish and as John Mark let go of the ball, sending it sailing past where I'd been standing.

My dad said he and my mother would have to think about it. They did not like the idea of John Mark and me being "unsupervised." My plaintive "He's almost 25 years old and about to be a father" was met with stolid "yes, so maybe he should act like it and stay home and help his wife."

I was not optimistic, and I glumly told John Mark. "I'll take care of it," he said. He must have, as my dad told me as I said good-night and thanked them for the party that they were okay with me going to the river with John Mark, so long as we behaved as if Granny and Gramps were there. If they only knew.

John Mark swung his father's wagon into our driveway right at 6. We knew my parents would figure out some way to inspect the coolers, so we decided to keep them pure and get beer on the road. Sure enough, my parents pretended to be interested in assuring we had all we needed, so they intently went through both coolers. I think they were surprised (and disappointed) to find only sodas.

As we were about to pull away, my dad leaned in, tousled my hair, and reminded me, to "remember the rule." When we were on our way, John Mark asked "What's the rule?"

"I'm supposed to behave as if Granny and Gramps are there."

"So, you have to get high, suck dick, and get fucked?" he asked, laughing.

"I guess so. I don't want to get in trouble for not 'remembering the rule.'"

I had assumed (and hoped) this "John Mark & Matthew" weekend would be a continuation of Memorial Day weekend, but I wasn't certain it would be. John Mark's question suggested I was not going to be disappointed.

"You still screwing around with Billy Jack?"

"Nah. I think I'm past that."

"What about your sister's friend, Julia?"

"Yeah, every once in awhile. I actually snuck out my window last night and fucked her on the patio."

"You're an idiot. If you had gotten caught, there's no way you'd be on your way to the river right now."

"What can I say? I'm 18. I think with my dick."

"Is she any good?"

"I don't really have anyone to compare her to. She's the only girl I've ever fucked. I come every time, so we're doing something right."

"How does she compare to Billy Jack?"

"She likes it more, so it's more fun. She begs for my dick. Billy Jack only let me fuck him if I insisted before I let him fuck me."

Talking about sex was making me hard. From what I could tell, it was having the same effect on John Mark.

"Do you go down on her?"

"Yeah, it's the only way she'll come."

"Do you like it?"

"It's alright. But, I'd rather suck a cock."

"Really?" he asked, drawing the word out slowly and inflecting at the end.

"Yeah. It's easier, and I like the taste of cock more than the taste of pussy."

"I'm not much of an enthusiast, either," he offered. "It's a means to an end. I have to eat DeeDee's pussy before I can fuck her. So, I do. But, in and of itself, eating pussy doesn't do much for me."

"How are things with her?"

"Miserable. The baby's pressing on her bladder, so she's uncomfortable all the time. She was a little bit of a bitch before. Now, she's a fucking nightmare. I can't do anything right. That's one reason I wanted to get away. Being at home sucks ass."

"So, no sex?"

"Are you kidding? She avoids me like the plague. If I even hint at sex, she insists I'm selfish and self-centered. I've been exiled to the spare room. She needs the whole bed to herself."

"At least in there you can jack off in peace."

"I know, right?"

The conversation seemed to bring John Mark down. There was something bubbling just beneath the surface of him. I wanted to know what, but I decided to be patient.

With the stops, we got to the cabin around 9. It was too late for supper, so we grabbed some chips, opened Budweisers, and headed to the porch with John Mark's bong (thank God my parents had not gone through his bag like they had gone through the coolers).

There was no ambient light. I leaned back and stared at the sky, bright with stars. The cicadas were only beginning to chirp. They'd be deafening in a few weeks.

We got really high and a little drunk. At about 11:30, John Mark stood up and announced it was time for bed. I followed him in.

"I'm older, so I'm taking the bedroom," he announced. "You can have the couch."

I was gobsmacked as John Mark turned and headed down the hall. It was all I could do not to cry.

I angrily opened the coffee table, pulled out a blanket and a pillow, and started to ready the couch.

"What're you doing?" John Mark asked, leaning against the hallway door.

"Going to bed."

"I was kidding, dumbass. You're staying with me. That's why we're here."

I floated down the hallway. We undressed, John Mark to his birthday suit and me to my briefs. As I climbed into bed, John Mark said "You may as well take those off, too. You're not going to keep them on for long." I did. We were naked in bed together for the first time, the room dark except for the bedside lamp.

"Aren't you going to turn the light off?" I asked

"Nah. I want to be able to see you."

I was on my back as John Mark rolled into me. Our faces were close. "We should do this properly," he said, lowering his face to mine and kissing me. I opened my mouth to his, and we kissed deeply. As we did, he moved his rough hand over my hairless body, eventually taking my dick in his hand. I was so excited, I came almost as soon as he touched me.

He had to know, but he didn't act like he did. He kept groping and kissing me.

"I can't wait to fuck you," he said.

"You don't have to wait," I promised.

I was under him, so I wrapped my arms and legs around him and tried to welcome him in.

"Hold on a second," he said, scrambling off the bed and grabbing a tube of lube out of his bag. "I think this'll help," he said, lathering his cock and my ass.

I was desperate to have him inside me. I grabbed his slippery cock and guided it to my opening. He slid in and slowly fucked me. I asked for "faster" and "harder" but got only his slow, methodical pace. He was teasing and toying with me.

"You have to speed up," I insisted.

"No. I'm going to slow-fuck you," he insisted. And, that is exactly what he did, introducing me to the concept of deliberate, single speed fucking. He never sped up, delivering long, languid strokes that had my entire body tingling by the time I reached down, grabbed my dick, and yanked a load out all over my stomach.

Finished, I could work on John Mark. I clenched and unclenched my ass as he slid in and out of me. He hit my button, and I arched my back, my balls and feet and hands all clenching. My entire body was aglow when John Mark finally came, way too long after entering me. His cock popped out, and I could feel him leaking out of me. He collapsed onto me, damp with sweat. I hooked my arms and legs around him, and he buried his face next to mine. I ran my hands into his hair and massaged his scalp. He raised up, kissed me, and insisted we move to the shower.

In the shower, we made out under the water until we were both hard again. John Mark pushed me toward his cock, telling me he wanted to fuck my face. He wasn't kidding. Once I had his cock in my mouth as deep as I could, he held my head completely still and slid in and out of my mouth. He was in my throat, but I had no control over what was happening. I was helpless.

I wanted to jack myself off, but I had to brace myself with both hands just to balance myself against the assault on my face. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, John Mark pulled his dick out of my mouth, jacked it a couple of times, and unloaded all over my face. As he did, he said "I love watching my cum spray." That was enough for me. A few jerks of my dick and I coated the shower floor.

When we were back in bed, I told John Mark to lay on his stomach, as I was going to rub his back. He thanked me, and I didn't tell him it was more for me than it was for him. I wanted to touch every inch of him.

I did. I started at his neck and worked my way up and down his arms, along his sides, and all over his back, alternatively licking and kissing and rubbing and tickling. I moved to his soccer ass, knowing that my desired destination was now in sight.

"Spread your legs a little," I urged.

When he did what he was told, I lowered my mouth to his ass and delivered his first rim job. I thought he might protest, but he didn't. I went after him greedily. I didn't much care for eating pussy, but I loved eating ass. John Mark's was nice and hairy, a man's ass.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

"I do . . . . I really do. I'm hard as a rock."

"Prove it."

John Mark rolled over, and he was, indeed, hard as a rock again. I took him in my mouth, this time exerting the control I lacked in the shower. I milked his cock hard and long. When he warned me that he was "getting close," I took him as deep as I could and shoved my spit covered finger in his ass. He yelped, shuddered, and unloaded deep in my throat.

As he came down, I went back to work. This time, I started at the bottom and worked my way up. I licked and kissed and rubbed his feet and legs. When I got to his crotch, I raised his legs and ate his ass again. I sucked his balls. I licked and kissed his softened cock, his stomach, and his sides. I sucked each nipple hard. I moved to his neck. I finished at his mouth, kissing him hard and long.

I collapsed onto him, spent. I was tired, and so was he. He wrapped his arms around me, and I fell asleep on top of him, cheek to cheek, chest to chest, crotch to crotch.

*****

When I awoke, it was pouring down rain. John Mark was in bed next to me, reading a book. There was coffee and a tube of toothpaste on the nightstand.

"What's the toothpaste for?" I asked.

"When we finish our coffee, we can use it to fix our breath," he said. "That way, we won't have to get out of bed if we don't want to. The weather sucks, so I thought we should try to stay in bed all day." Generally, I hated rain. Today, I loved it.

As John Mark read, I drank my coffee and basked in the peace of the morning and the promise of the day. As soon as I finished my coffee, John Mark pulled me to him, and kissed me deep and long. The kiss felt like it lasted forever, as our tongues danced with each other. When we finally broke, I was light-headed, and John Mark simply said, "Wow." I settled my head into his chest, and we both dozed off.

When I woke up, I was pleasantly surprised that John Mark was sucking my dick. He wasn't great at it, but he did fine for a first time. As I got close, I knew I should warn him, but I really like coming in people's mouths. I cannot imagine eating a girl out and then stopping just as she's about to come. It seemed rude. Pulling off just as a guy is about to come seemed equally rude.

I stayed silent, bucked, and unloaded in his mouth. I felt him gag a little as I did, but he kept going, finishing me off completely. He pulled off and smiled at me.

"How was that?" I asked.

"Better than I thought it'd be."

"I fucking love doing it."

"I'm pretty sure I'll never love it."

"I bet you will. You'll become an addict."

"I'd take that bet," he said.

As we talked, John Mark maneuvered himself between my legs. He said, "I want to fuck you again. How do you want me to do it?"

I surprised him. "Take me from behind." He did, flat on me, and deep in me. He intertwined his left hand with mine. He slipped his right hand under my right arm and held my face. I put my right hand in his hair. He was blanketing me. It was the most intimate lay of my life.

It rained all day. We left the bed only to use the bathroom, clean up, grab pot or beer, or get a little bit of food. We napped on and off to reclaim our energy. We spent the rest of the day sexing, insatiably. I sucked John Mark. He sucked and fucked me, taking instruction well and getting better each time he took my dick in his mouth.

At about 8 p.m., I announced that I was pretty sure I was not going to be able to walk the next day. John Mark responded "Then I'll carry you."

I asked, "Does that mean you're not finished?"

"That's exactly what it means," he said, preparing to take me again.

I don't remember who finally gave in and called it a night. But, whoever it was had to have done so out of sheer exhaustion, because neither of us seemed capable of stopping voluntarily.

*****

We slept late on Sunday. When I woke up, John Mark was again reading, and there was coffee on the table again. I sat up, grabbed my coffee, and leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. When our coffee cups were empty, I asked, "Are we going to get out of bed today?"

"Only to leave."

"What are we going to do until then?"

"Something a little different," John Mark said, rolling into me, pulling me flat, and kissing me. "I want you to try to fuck me."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"It only seems fair."

Remembering the brutality of my first time (Billy Jack hadn't cared that he was taking my cherry and he had ridden me hard without much preparation), I took John Mark gently. I started by rimming him and then opening him with my fingers. I lubed him inside and out. I lubed my dick as much as I could. I told him to make sure he kept breathing. I entered him slowly, allowing him to signal when it was okay for me to give him more. When I was all the way in, I stayed as still as I could until he was adjusted to my dick and was ready for action. I moved in and out of him slowly, no matter how much I wanted to buck like mad. When I came, John Mark was hard. I stayed inside of him and jacked him off.

When I was finished and settled next to him, I asked him what he thought.

"Well, just when I thought I was going to make you stop, the pain eased a little. I'm not sure it ever felt good, but it made me hard, so there must have been something to it."

"I probably shouldn't have taken you on your back the first time. I think on your side or stomach may have been easier."

"Now you tell me," he said, sarcastically.

"I wanted to be able to see you," I said, seriously, and echoing his words from Friday night.

"I love you, too, Matty."

"I didn't say 'I love you.'"

"Yes, you did. And, I love you, too."

We stayed in bed until it was time to leave. The furtiveness of Saturday was replaced by slower, more deliberate sex. John Mark fucked me twice, and I fucked him once more. We also 69'd for the first time, which was my first time ever for that. The reverse angle was perfect for getting John Mark all the way down my throat. We fell into perfect rhythm, him up when I was down. We came at the same time.

As we drove home, I asked John Mark if he thought he was gay. I was surprised by his, "no, not at all" answer.

"Then what is this?"

"Weird shit. I mean, I've never been attracted to a guy. I've looked at guy's bodies and dicks, but just out of comparison. I've never thought, 'boy, I'd like to kiss him' or 'boy, I'd suck that dick.' I've never fantasized about a guy, like when I jack off or fuck a girl. I just never have. So, I have to think this is just about you. I mean, I don't think I'd have ever fooled around with a guy if I wasn't horned up and awake when you tried to feel my cock that night."

"Maybe you were just bored," I offered.

"I dunno. I don't think you fuck a guy out of boredom. If you do, I doubt you keep doing it. And, I doubt you start making out with him. I think the kissing takes this a different direction."

"Maybe it's just because the sex is good," I offered.

"Well, it is really good. Like mind-blowingly good. Like, 'holy shit, this is what it's supposed to be like good.' I think I had my biggest orgasms ever this weekend. But, like I said, the kissing seems to take this a different direction. It's more than sex now, at least for me."

"It is for me, too," I assured him.

"I watched you sleep last night, trying to wrap my mind around what's going on. And, I was just really happy to be here, with you. So, I wondered if a guy can be straight and fall head over heels for another guy. Because that seems to be where I'm headed with you."