Summer Solstice Ch. 02bymonamante©
This wasn't a discussion or a misunderstanding, we both knew where we stood and there was nothing to talk about.
"Fine. I'll have 2 tamales with Salvi cream please." Her smile was back.
"Then it's a good thing I bought extra cream."
The rest of the day went well. I left the subject alone and made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered, because at the moment it was true. We made love all night. She's so amazing and she knows my body so well. She appreciates my body and effort it takes to keep it looking good. No one has ever made me feel as special as she does, to her, I'm not just a means to an end.
Our Christmas was on Saturday. It was ours, hers and mine. For the time being you could say we were a family. We made dinner together and she loved watching me in the kitchen. Sometimes she would seem like she would get lost in some memory, but when I asked she just pretended it was nothing. She was happy above everything, she was happy and that brought a smile to my face.
When it came time to exchange presents, I went first. I had bought her a watch that she had seen over the summer in a magazine. I knew how much she wanted it, but never had a chance to get it. She loves watches just like some women love shoes or purses, watches are her thing. I find it cute, because in the this day and age no one wears watches anymore. You would be surprised by how many kids can't even tell time on a clock.
She loved it and mentioned that no one had actually given her a watch before. Every single one she had, she bought.
She gave me a pair of platinum, diamond stud earrings. Don't get me wrong they were beautiful, but I wondered why earrings. So I asked and her response was beautiful.
"When I'm gone, you and I will only have memories of what once was. You're special to me Katey. These earrings go on a special part of your body. This special part is your ears and when you wear them I want you to remember how it felt when you were with me and how a simple nibble could turn you on. Remember how this simple earlobe when touched can turn your world upside down, because that's what you do to me when I see you. My whole world is turned on its head."
Of course I was crying, almost sobbing. She always knew just what to say and she had put so much thought into something so simple. That night, I went to bed in the arms of my girlfriend. I loved calling her that, if only I could truly be with her the way she deserved. It wasn't hard to fall asleep in the safety of her arms. With her I felt at peace, it was never hard to sleep when she was around. When she wasn't around it was torture to be without her and I knew that I better enjoy this time. I would never again get to be with someone who cared this much about me.
Sunday we went to Church together, we woke up a little late so we decided to go the evening mass. I don't like going but she asked and I said yes without hesitation. Dinner was at Geoffrey's in Malibu, right next to beach. We wanted to spend time where it all started; this bitter sweet romance.
We had five days left and I was not ready for her to leave anytime soon.
Monday and Tuesday went the same. Unfortunately we had to spend another 2 days apart I had to go see some projects my company was working on and she had some stuff she had to get settled before going back home. I missed her throughout the day, but thankfully I got to come home to her. It got me wondering, how was I going to move on when she left at the end of the week.
I don't think one day goes by that I don't torture myself about being without her. Yet, here I am allowing her to leave while I stay. I tortured myself all day about it and would get excited when I came home to a house that smelled amazing, she was a great cook.
Seeing her in the kitchen looking domestic was irresistible. She can be many things and domestic is one of my favorites. When we were at the beach house, she was always in surf shorts and muscle shirts. The day she came home she was in dress clothes and my goodness she looked stunning. When she cooks she's so comfortable in jeans and a shirt and looks every bit as gorgeous.
I felt like a child playing house again. Only exception my friend wasn't playing my husband, she was playing my wife.
I would come home and go straight to hug her. Going up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist, I had missed her and she knew it. She always knew how to make me feel better, even though she had no idea what my day entailed. She read me like an open book.
Wednesday we spent the day together, we went on a date. We went to watch a movie in the afternoon and then dinner. Today I met Riley's high school sweetheart, the girl who spent everyday with her when she had no family. I had heard stories of them together but never wanted to meet her. I could see how much she loved her when she spoke of her and I caught a glimmer of love in her eyes. They were together for 2 years until the girl moved away to go to school.
I have to admit it was torture watching them interact. The girl was with her wife and Ri was not bothered one bit. I on the other hand was more jealous than I had ever been. They were so comfortable with each other that everything they did bothered me. From the hello hug, to the hand holding when she showed her the ring, to soft whispers in the ear remembering old times, to the good-bye hug.
That night I was not happy and she knew it, she thought it was funny and cute.
As soon as we got home I went straight to my room to change, I needed a shower to calm myself, I had no right to be mad and I knew it. She on the other hand would not let me just torture myself. When I was in the shower she came in behind me and made me feel like the only person who mattered in her life. She always knew how to sweet talk me. This time she finally let go and showed me exactly what she felt, for once she didn't hold back.
"You know that could be you and I if you just gave me a chance." She was holding me in her arms as her body pressed up against my back.
"What do you mean?" I loved the comfort she gave me.
"You and me together with a ring on your finger." I was stunned she was never this forward with her feelings.
"You would actually want to marry me after everything I put you through."
"Of course, if you gave me the chance to make you the happiest person in the world."
"Why can't you be some asshole who just wants to get into my pants, who could care less about my feelings, why do you have to be so amazing?" She deserved better she was practically proposing to me and I had to turn her down. The tears swelled up in my eyes.
"Relax, honey it's okay, don't cry. I'm just one of the good guys that's all. Here how about I help you finish cleaning up and we can go to bed." Then just like that her emotions were gone, proposal forgotten.
I cried myself to sleep that night in her arms. I hated myself more than ever.
The next day was New year's Eve and again I left to my parents. I had half a mind not to go, however, this time Riley would be waiting for me at home so we could be together when the clock struck twelve. I went early and left early. No one cared too much since there were so many people at the house it was hard to notice my absence. I got home at 10, well let's just say that the new year found us in my bed making sweet love with champagne, chocolate and strawberries all over ourselves.
It was the best New Year I could have ever asked for.
Friday was spent in bed as well, we cleaned up but then found new food items in the fridge that we could get all over ourselves. She made me feel so special. In her eyes it was always just us, nothing else mattered. I always wondered how someone so young could be so wise.
She was leaving the next morning, so Friday night I made her dinner to celebrate her upcoming birthday.
"Honey, can I please come watch you cook?" She was being so cute.
"No stay in the room it's a surprise."
"Fine I just want to stay that I hate not getting to watch you cook." Now she was pouting those gorgeous luscious lips of hers.
"Don't worry the amazing food will make you forget."
When I finished with dinner, I set it on the table alongside the candles and the wine.
She hadn't really had a special birthday since her aunt had moved away. Her father was never much for any celebrations. I wanted to make it special just the way she was. I had gotten her a small cake from a Chinese bakery in Chinatown. She had once told me that when she was a kid her aunt had bought her cakes there. They were simple basic cakes, but since then, she hadn't had one. The cake was your basic cake with a strawberry filling and shaved almonds on the side. Nothing fancy, but so delicious, I had tried some at the bakery.
"Ri honey foods ready." Within seconds she was behind me, she really misses me when we're not together.
"Baby you made a feast."
"I wanted it to be special for my girl." I swear in that moment I think I felt her heart skip a beat and her breathing was thrown off.
"Just being with you is enough for me."
"Stop you're gonna make me cry. Here sit down."
Dinner went well, we smiled and laughed and she complimented my cooking and then it was time for cake. We took pictures setting up my camera anywhere to get pictures of us together. She cried when she saw her cake.
"You spoil me Katey, you've ruined me for other women you know."
"I hope not." It was then that both of realized our two week adventure was basically over.
She just wrapped her arms around me and held me close. I wouldn't have given up these two weeks for anything. I took her to my room where I had her present.
"Here I got you something."
"You didn't have to, having you near me this whole time was more than enough for me." We sat on the bed together.
"It doesn't mean I didn't want to get you something special."
"Thank you." As I went to sit next to her she made a spot for me right between her legs. "No come sit with me."
She opened the small box and found the pendant with a necklace. It was a white gold sun pendant, a circle with triangles for rays. On the back I had it engraved. "Summer 09" and underneath that. "R & K".
"I have no idea what our future holds, I don't want you to ever forget me. I know it may sound selfish, but I don't ever want you to forget what we've had."
She was crying holding me close. Her tears were rare, she never showed her emotions. She didn't say anything except for thank you.
I turned around between her legs kissing her soft and slow. I wouldn't be rushed and I wanted to enjoy her one last time. I caressed her stomach first, so soft and smooth. She worked her hands up and down my thighs, tracing them with her nails.
I went to her neck to bite and nibble her sweet spot, right where you would feel for a pulse. If I was a vampire she would be mine. She dug her nails right into my thigh, making me release her neck.
"Did I bite to hard, baby?"
"No, sorry I just couldn't resist. You can continue I'll retract the claws."
"Thank you." I went back to her neck and she resumed that tracing of my thighs.
I started working one hand down to her inner thigh as the other held me off the bed. She let out a moan as I cupped her sex. Working her hand between my thighs. I liked this idea of cumming together while being able to look into each others eyes.
Once she had her fingers inside me I was lost, I was hers. I bit down on her bottom lip and pulled. She had the most luscious, soft and pouty lips of anyone I had ever seen. The were usually so pink and alluring. When she would put lipgloss on, I would always get lost staring at her.
Her touch was soft and tender. Pulling in and out and playing with my clit she knew how to work me up. With two fingers inside me her thumb on my clit and one finger tracing my backside, she had me at her mercy. I was dripping wet and ready to cum for her. Everyday we spent together I learned more and more about how amazing it was to be with this woman. We stayed this way until we both orgasmed together. Looking into those beautiful hazel eyes getting lost in all the love that she exudes.
The rest of the night was just as amazing. It was tender and sweet love. No rush, no lust, not tonight, just love.
Her flight would leave at 10 and by the time we were done it was 6. We showered together and she went to finish packing.
By the time we had to leave I was an emotional mess. I knew it was over. We couldn't have done anything to prolong this end. Either we went for it or we ended it. I could be her friend and she could be mine but we could no longer be lovers.
We both had to move on because we had no future together. Not the way we wanted. I would go back to being the daughter who pleases her parents and she would go off to bigger and better things without me.
I can't say that I haven't thought of what life would be like with her. Ultimately, I come back to those dreadful words, being disowned. I never did tell Ri about that, I didn't want her to feel bad. I had so much to say to her but the words never came out and the ride to the airport was silent and dreadful. My eyes were almost shut from so much crying, I could barely drive. She just sat silently next to me, holding my hand as she stared out the window. We finally arrived at the airport and she jumped out to grab her stuff. I stayed inside knowing full well I had no energy to try to get out.
She came around to my door as she had 4 months ago. This time I got out of the car and she was waiting for me to say something, anything, but all I did was sob.
"I'm going back because I have to. I'm leaving because I know you would never ask me to stay. I'm saying good bye my love, again leaving everything with you. I need you to know that I'm moving forward with my life. If you ever decide to see me again I will not be the same I will be a different person. I will be the person we both need me to be, your friend. I don't want to lose you and would endure years of sadness as long as I can hear you speak to me. But from this day forward I no longer wait to hear the words that ask me to be with you. I waited long enough and I know now that this is the end."
She was wearing sunglasses so all I could see were the tears falling down her cheeks. I couldn't even bring myself to move them and look one last time at those beautiful eyes.
"I will always be here for you even when you move forward with someone else. I ask that you never forget me either." She handed me a small box that was open. Inside was a beautiful white gold ring with a large garnet stone in the middle framed by diamonds. "It's not an engagement ring or anything, it's a simple ring that has my birthstone. Only you and I will know that with this ring, I will always be near. It was mine, I got it for myself when I turned 18, I want you to have it and promise to never let it go."
She kissed me and walked away. I grabbed her hand this time she would not just leave. I took off her glasses, allowing myself the last moment with those hazel eyes.
"I Love you, I know now what true love is and unfortunately what it means to have a broken heart. I'm sorry my love for hurting you. I'm sorry for not being stronger. One day I hope to be half as strong as you are. Until the day I take my last breath you too will always have my heart."
I kissed her one last time and she left. What had once started as a summer love, was all ending on a cold winter's day.