Sun Hee Ch. 07

The next day was the same, only much harder. I was done with finals and Sun Hee had one more. I rationalized that the reason she wasn't messaging was because she was busy studying, but I knew that wasn't why. She didn't want to see me.

I spent the day stomping around the dorm driving Blake nuts. Several times I nearly texted her, even going to far as to type out messages before erasing them. But somehow I held on.

Then, that evening, I did something truly stupid. I went to the library to look for Sun Hee.

I wasn't spying on her, I told myself, never mind that she had made it clear she needed space and never mind that I moved stealthily through the second and third and fourth floors, careful not to be seen. But I couldn't help myself.

But she wasn't there.

Fighting a nameless panic, I checked again, moving systematically from floor to floor, checking all the back corners and study carrels. She wasn't there.

From there my loneliness drove me back to her dorm room where I tapped softly on the door. Jin Sook answered and shook her head side to side solemnly before I could even ask. She had nothing to say about Sun Hee's whereabouts. She either could not or would not tell me.

She seemed almost to pity me as she closed the door in my face.

A part of me understood this search would led me to a discovery I wasn't ready for, but I couldn't stop myself. My search widened. All the possible quiet study spaces around campus. The student center. The dorm lounge. Back through the student center.

Then I saw Sun Hee. Just out of the corner of my eye, but instantly recognizable. In the campus pub. At one of the back tables. With Reggie and another girl and guy I didn't know.

And Sebastian.

Her back was to me, but I knew it was her. I felt it in my bones.

Casually, awkwardly, I worked my way around to the other side of the pub to get a better look. They were all laughing together in high spirits, and Sun Hee wore a wide smile that showed off her clean white teeth. I hadn't seen her smile like that in... well, too long.

And they were drinking. Even Sun Hee had a beer in front of her, half empty. The night before her last final exam. I didn't know what was more astonishing, seeing her out with another guy or seeing her out at all instead of in the library like the good Korean girl she didn't want to be.

More astonishing was what Sun Hee was wearing. She had on this gold metallic halter top that fit skin tight against her breasts with no possibility of a bra, and the metallic material made her big tits shimmer in the light of the pub. The neckline plunged so deep that Sun Hee's entire cleavage was on display, not just the tops of her breasts but the entire inner sides as well.

I remembered this top. On impulse she had asked me to buy it for her weeks ago, but then decided it was far too scandalous for her to actually wear and in her closet it had remained unused.

But Sun Hee was wearing it now, and she looked unbelievably sexy sitting next to Sebastian. Clearly this was not a spontaneous study break. She had dressed for this. Her hair was done up, too, curled delicately around one bare shoulder. Her makeup emphasized her eyes and the red of her soft lips.

As I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the pub just out of their line of sight, feeling like a creeper and floored by the discovery of my girlfriend out with another guy, I remembered what Sun Hee had made me say to her while she was angrily edging my helpless cock. That Sebastian would see her naked tits.

All but naked, they were right there for him on display. And my body trembled with jealousy and anger and a strange kind of pained, profound arousal. My balls, heavy and aching from days of pent up sperm, shrivelled up inside me.

As I spied on them, I felt the ghost of her hand on my cock, edging me cruelly.

But they seemed to be just studying.

Beyond the scandalous was she was dressed, there was nothing inappropriate in their behavior. Sebastian sat close to her and there was a kind of intimacy between them, but they never touched or kissed.

Nothing flirtatious or improper as I spied on them, though the spying itself felt humiliating. I wasn't sure what to think.

Maybe they were just friends, I lied to myself. Sun Hee had a right to want her space, and she had a right to spend her time with other guys. And I trusted her. I wanted to. But at the same time, this revelation seemed to change everything.

I looked down at my phone and considered texting. What would she say if I asked her where she was right now? Then I looked back over at the table and imagined myself just casually walking over, acting like nothing was wrong, and joining them.

But I didn't. I did nothing.

***

The long walk home through the dark felt unreal.

And the night was restless and full of disjointed dreams and nightmares. Sun Hee and Sebastian kissing, locking in each other's arms. Sun Hee fucking him. Sun Hee in that gold metallic top, her cleavage blinding me. Sun Hee crying out in pleasure beneath him as he then looked up at me and laughed.

At some point during the night it felt like something was leaking out of me, and I woke feeling dampness in my underwear. Had a\I somehow cum spontaneously in my sleep? Was that possible? What did it mean that the possibility Sun Hee was cheating aroused me so much?

The next morning there was still no message from her. Nor later that morning. Her last final was over, and still I didn't hear from her. Instead of an ecstatic "I'm done, baby!" there was only silence.

By 2 p.m. there could no longer be any doubt. It wasn't that she was busy - she was avoiding me.

My roommate Blake and other friends who saw me asked what was wrong. What could I say?

It was almost dinner before my phone finally chimed, after two full days of silence. It was the message anyone in a relationship most dreads: "We need to talk."

***

When Sun Hee appeared at my door she looked small and quiet. A pall hung around her. I stepped aside to let her through the door, and she walked back into my room without speaking.

The scandalous gold halter top was gone, replaced by a thick and shapeless sweater. Her hair was a tangle, and she wore no makeup.

She still looked beautiful though.

She didn't say anything at first, just stood there looking awkward and sad, her shoulders hunched. I ached to pull her into my arms and kiss her, but I feared she would have pulled away. Maybe I should have anyway.

I was losing her. She didn't say it. She didn't have to.

I shifted about feeling deeply forlorn, my hands plunged into my pockets. I felt myself on the verge of tears.

Finally, she spoke. "I leave in two days. Sunday. Back to Korea."

Sun Hee reached into her bag, and her tiny fingers came out clasping the white cardboard box that used to hold my chastity cage. She placed in onto the edge of my desk off to the side.

"I thought you should have this," she said. Her voice was quiet.

It was the key, then. She was returning it. I didn't want it though. Profoundly I did not want it. That key was the only thing left linking me to her. If she gave it back...

My shoulders slumped

Sun Hee looked desolate, too. And guilty. Her eyes wouldn't quite meet mine, and her left foot swished in an awkward circle as she stood there hesitantly. "I guess... I guess I need to figure some things out," she said.

"Is this about Sebastian?" I asked in a small voice, barely audible.

My cock was already swelling intensely in its cage in anticipation of her answer. I couldn't understand why this emotion masochism turned me on. But it did. Profoundly.

"I don't know... yes... maybe."

My arousal grew incredibly intense. I thought I might orgasm in front of her. I was losing her to Sebastian, and the prospect both broke my heart and made me want to cum.

Quiet as she was, Sun Hee seemed aroused, too, in her own way. Her eyes were heavy lidded, and her breasts seemed full and heavy beneath her sweater. There was a heat emanating off her.

I suppose it all made sense. By locking me she had made be useless, and now she had set me aside.

"Part of me wishes I could keep you locked..." she breathed, her confession stunning both of us. "But it wouldn't be fair.

I nodded. I would have accepted anything to stay with her. I tried to find the words to ask her to keep the key... but she was already gone.

The door clicked quietly closed behind her.

***

That night became a bad dream of darkness and tears. I cried for hours curled up beneath the covers in the dark, sleepless and miserable. Even as my cock ached intensely, from simple soreness as much as arousal, I couldn't bring myself to unlock the cage. It was my last link back to Sun Hee.

And if I were honest, the pain seemed to take on an erotic undertone.

The key remained untouched in the little white box on my desk where she had placed it.

Besides, I don't know if it would have been possible to cum if I had tried.

The next day, Saturday, was little better. I spent the day in a melancholic haze of TV and pajamas on the sad little couch in our dorm. Blake and others kept their distance, giving me space to grieve. I did hear voices though, guys gathering in the hallway of the door, talking about the big party they were all going to, shouting and joking and exchanging bravado about the hot girls they were going to bang, Bake's voice along with them. I swear I even heard Sun Hee's name come up: "Was she single now... Yeah... Damn..."

Blake came in to find me and try to drag me off with them. "It would be good for you," he coaxed. "Get your mind off her."

What I couldn't admit was that going to the party with them would only make me think about Sun Hee more, wondering if she was there somewhere. With Sebastian.

Even the promise of getting blackout drunk couldn't get me off the couch. I was already well on my way with the beer in my hand.

As the guys left, eager to get laid, darker thoughts emerged. Sun Hee and Sebastian. Her soft body nestled against his. Her mouth eagerly seeking his. Where were they? Was she actually with him, or was it all my imagination?

The jealousy made me perversely aroused, and the arousal led to masochism. I got up from the couch and stumbled out, drunkenly, to find her. I had to know.

That's how I found myself outside her dorm window drunk and alone. Her window was dark. It was 10 p.m. Too early for her to be asleep.

The pit of my stomach clenched, and I struggled to breath through the pain.

I should have stopped then. I should have gone home. But I didn't. I went to the party.

The noise and chaos was overwhelming, faces familiar and strange crammed together in an orgy of relief and excitement to have the grind of the semester done and gone. Blake's among them. People were cutting loose, getting drunk to loud music, stealing kisses, and acting lewdly on what passed for the dance floor crammed into this corner apartment. Couples kissed in the corners and dry humped on the furniture.

I searched them all, my aching cock caged in a misery of jealousy and arousal. I kept imagining what I would do when I saw them. Imagined how it would feel. I steeled myself to find them together, but I hadn't prepared myself for the more painful possibility - that I wouldn't find them. They weren't there. And that knowledge left me few options.

She was in his bed.

The truth was I had no idea where she was or if she was with him now at all. But I wanted her to be. Some dark part of me that seemed to have sprung up from all her relentless teasing and denial wanted her to be fucking him. I reveled in her betrayal.

Defeated and alone, I stumbled home. I drank more in the darkness of my room, trying to fall asleep. Idly, I thought about reaching over for the key and jerking off, but I wasn't even sure I could get hard much less cum.

Sometime later, maybe an hour, I heard voices at outside door. It was Blake, and some girl was with him. They giggled and shushed each other, trying to stay quiet in that way that drunk people do that only makes them louder.

The door opened with a bang, and I heard them both stumble around. Then the softer click of his door. They whispered together, and then fell silent.

The silence stretched, and I may actually have drifted off into sleep.

But then a soft, high pitched gasp pierced the silence. Then another. The low cries of a woman in pleasure.

Blake's bed began to squeak, barely audible through the wall.

My cock twitched awake. The excitement of hearing this girl's soft cries of pleasure aroused me, but without consciously realizing it, I was visualizing this girl as Sun Hee. In my mind it was Sun Hee naked on the bed, her legs spread wide for sex. It was Sun Hee crying out as the cock first pushed inside her. It was Sun Hee's tiny body making the bed shake and squeeze.

I didn't realize that's what my mind was visualizing at first, but when I did realize it, it made me instantly even more aroused.

The sex noises from next door grew louder. The unknown girl was starting to moan louder now, breathy and urgent. Was this how Sun Hee sounded, I wondered? Did Sun Hee cry out like this? Was Sun Hee moaning like this at this very moment, somewhere else on campus?

My roommate started to grunt, and I imagined it as Sebastian. I imagined it as Blake, too.

I imagined Sebastian pushing inside my girl - my ex-girlfriend now - balls deep and bare and making her moan with pleasure for his thick cock.

My hand reached down to the plastic cage, helpless to stimulate my caged cock which was now swollen with need.

Their sex accelerated. The girl was crying out in pleasure now.

I couldn't help myself any longer. I scrambled up to my desk and fumbled for the small white box Sun Hee had left behind there. The key looked so empty and alone inside.

A quick jerk of the lock and a fumble with the cage, and suddenly my cock was free. Free after so unbelievably long, aching in the fresh air and shockingly hard and erect. I couldn't believe how hard I was, even as my heart ached with the pain of Sun Hee leaving me.

A muffled cry echoed through the wall, followed by Blake's grunt and shout. Whoever this girl really was with him must be a hot fuck, and whatever they were doing sounded intense and wet and urgent.

But in my mind I heard only Sun Hee. As the feminine cries of pleasure mounted, as they came louder and faster, I knew this was what Sun Hee had been needing. What she had been desperate without in the weeks and months we had been dating since I had been unable to fuck her.

My hand fumbled at my own cock as I jerked myself in rhythm to her moans. I wanted her to feel good. I ached for it. After so long going without for me, I wanted Sun Hee to get fucked good. I wanted her to feel good. I wanted her to cum!

Sun Hee cried out louder, and Blake was giving it to her good. Fantasy and reality blended and blurred. I could hear his body pounding into hers and felt the vibrations through the floor.

I saw Sun Hee as though she were right before me, her body tensing up, her legs pushed up over his shoulders, her fertile tits pressed into his chest. She cried out harder now. Screaming. Her cries filled the room and echoed through the hall.

I remembered what Sun Hee had said about the difference between being me licking her to orgasm and her being fucked to orgasm by a real cock. This was the difference, and it was profound.

My hands brought me to the edge of spilling as I thought about it. It was so profoundly humiliating and yet so profoundly exciting. I wanted this for her.

Then, as the girl swelled into orgasm with Blake, as I vividly imagined Sun Hee's impassioned orgasm in the arms of Sebastian, her cries of pleasure cutting loose as Sebastian's bare cock pierced and captured her pussy, I spilled.

It was the most profound - and devastating - orgasm of my entire life. My own cum leaked and sprayed from my penis, flooding across my abdomen and down my thighs, while I heard the manly shout of orgasm through the wall, his sperm pumping deep into the woman's womb again and again and again.

And as I came, I cried.

The heartbreak of losing Sun Hee, the masochistic arousal of it, the humiliation of it - all of it left me feeling spent and disgusted. Emptied.

The voices through the wall returned to whispers and quiet noises as the new lovers kissed and cuddled in the afterglow of their passion. Sun Hee somewhere was surely doing much the same, naked and intimate in Sebastian's strong arms. My woman claimed by him now. Claimed, and lost.

I cried alone in the darkness, still sticky from my own spill. And somehow, strangely, still aroused.

Drunk and heartbroken, it was well past the early hours of the morning before I finally fell into fitful sleep, and when I finally woke the next morning it was twelve minutes past 11:00.

Sun Hee's flight would have already taken off, and I had missed it. She had already left for Korea. Sebastian's cum still deep inside her.

She was gone.