Sun-hi

About her......

She was from the far east. From a country ravaged by decades of war that now simmered with a truce that had been put in place before she was born. She grew up there but had been drawn here to the US by the prospects of a better life. Her family wasn't poor, but they weren't rich either. There was a large gap between the have's and the have-not's.

Like many third world countries, the rich in her country made sure that they remained rich and in power. Her family and others like them didn't have much of a chance to climb up the economic ladder. She knew that the opportunities for her were going to be few and far between if she stayed there.

She had come to the US with her boyfriend from her home town. They were in love with each other and wanted to make a new future for themselves. Soon after settling she discovered that she was pregnant. Happily she informed her boyfriend of her pregnancy. She had hoped that he would be happy also as they had often talked of their future hopes and dreams, and part of that conversation involved having a family. However a week later, she woke up to find that he had left and had taken all his things with him.

She was devastated beyond belief! How was she to fend for herself and her unborn child? What was she to do? What will become of her? Left alone in a strange land. She spent at least a week depressed and listless. But one morning she awoke feeling that something was different. Placing a hand on the slight bulge below her stomach, she couldn't help but feel happy for the new life that was growing in her womb.

With a growing resolve, determined to protect and nurture her unborn child, she went to school and learned rudimentary English quickly in order to find employment. She found others like herself. Others from her home country who came before her for the same reason; for a better life. From that group came opportunities for employment. She took the jobs that were offered and soon found her niche as a night bookkeeper at one of the larger hotels in downtown San Francisco.

She gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She was overjoyed and took to motherhood with a passion. The years passed by quickly as work and tending to her daughter's needs occupied most of her time. She was recognized for her hard work and intelligence, and was promoted to be the manager of the night shift accounting department. After several years, she was promoted again, this time to be the overall manager of the hotel's accounting department. Not just because of her skills and hard work, but also because of her ability to work with others and the compassion she had for the people who worked with her.

Her daughter was smart and did well in school. Determined to please her mother, she graduated at the top of her high school class and went on to become an aeronautical engineer. Prior to her graduation from college, she choose to accept a position at a highly regarded aeronautical design company in Arizona. She had been highly sought after and interviewed extensively by others. She was definitely on her way.

About me.....

I grew up in southern California. My grandparents immigrated from Japan and settled in the San Bernardino valley and worked as farm laborers. Indentured to the land, theirs' was a hard life however they were determined that their children would have a better future. They saved and bought farm land. Built a farm for themselves. Prospered and raised their children. My parents did the same along with one of my uncles. Bought adjoining property and added to grandpa and grandma's farm. Worked hard. Prospered and raised me and my cousins.

I was sent off to get my college education. As my father told me, "you should have a job that keeps your hands clean!" He kidded me often about my soft hands however there couldn't have been a prouder dad in the world the day he saw me graduate with my degree in accounting.

I immersed myself in my new occupation; getting my CPA license shortly thereafter, then working for one of the major national accounting firms. I focused on proving my abilities and didn't let anything else distract me. Moving my career forward became my obsession. It wasn't unusual to find me working 6 and 7-days each week.

I took positions that no one else wanted. I saw it as a way to prove to myself that I had what it took to become successful. Auditor in Redmond, Assistant Audit Manager in Sante Fe, Audit Manager in Spokane. No accountant in their right mind would make a career out of doing audits. The work is mind numbing and tedious, yet I took those assignments when they were offered.

This caught the eye of a regional director in San Francisco and one day he called me in to have coffee. That was a turning point for me. He became my mentor as well as my champion. He put me in charge of the San Francisco office and made me a partner shortly thereafter. I worked hard and was amply rewarded. My mentor was proud. My parents were proud. I was happy.

Unexpectedly, my world was turned upside down one day when my uncle called to tell me that dad had a heart attack and was in intensive care. His prognosis was uncertain. I heard my mother crying in the background and knew that it wasn't good.

I had my staff cancel all my appointments and caught the earliest flight out, only to arrive as they pulled the life support from my father's lifeless body. My father who was the foundation of our family. The rock of my family. My mother's husband. My dad; my best friend. He was gone. Gone from my life.

I was in a daze but somehow functioned enough to go through the motions and made the arrangements for his funeral. Family and friends came from all over. It was a time to grieve as well as to reconnect. Mom decided to continue to live on the farm as all of her friends were there as well as several close family members.

I left to return to San Francisco several days after dad's funeral. I was still hurting from losing dad. Yes he was getting old however he was otherwise in good health. I guess it was just his time. I had never thought of the possibility that he would eventually die. He was always there for me; for us. It was hard to accept.

On a whim, I decided to take a rental car up the California coast highway, up to San Fran instead of flying back. I soon found myself driving the winding road along the cliffs and beaches that mark the coast line. The drive was very therapeutic as it gave me time to think. I found myself thinking of how enjoyable it was to be with my mother and other family members again, even though the occasion was a somber one. The closeness of family felt good. It felt right. It was something that was missing in my life. I wanted to feel good again. I longed for it.

No matter all the successes in my professional life, there was a large, gapping hole in my personal life. There was no one to share it with. There was no family to come home to every night. There was no one to celebrate joyful occasions with. No one to cry and be sad with. No one to love and no one to love me. I felt hollow and empty. The family and friends that gathered after my father's death brought these feelings to the surface. I felt incomplete.

The Plane.......

About a month after my father's funeral, I had flown to Atlanta to attend a national conference for managers and was on my way back. The conference had ended on a Friday giving others an excuse to play tourist in Atlanta if they felt like it. However I've been there many times and just wanted to get back home.

Travel plans had me make a stopover in Denver to connect to a flight bound for San Fran. We had deplaned and I made my way to the new departure gate to wait for the flight to San Fran.. As I scanned the holding area for a seat, I couldn't help but notice a strikingly beautiful asian women who sat by herself. She was dressed modestly yet very tastefully. A soft pink sweater top, white jeans and sandals with a light tan overcoat in her lap. Her beauty radiated from her and intimidated me.

I took a seat several rows away, however situated myself so I could watch her while not being too obvious. I felt guilty but also thrilled at the same time. What was I doing? I'm not a stalker! But she was so beautiful.

She had her laptop out and I could see that she was hard at work. A flight agent came up to her to give her a boarding pass. I saw her smile and could see that she was saying something to the agent. The agent turned to return to her post and I could see that she was smiling also. Most travelers treat flight agents with indifference at best. Whoever she was, she must have treated the agent very nicely in order to get the agent to smile.

I sighed. I would love to meet this attractive woman however its not something I knew I could do. I couldn't just walk up to her and introduce myself. That would seem too forward. In the past I wished I had the courage to do just that but it just wasn't who I was.

I, who hadn't dated since college, now found myself unable to take even a first step towards meeting this beautiful woman. I wasn't exactly a Casanova in college however I did manage to keep a semblance of a social life. I was never one to put on weight so I remained fairly trim. I wasn't that bad looking I guess. I had hit the big "4-0" several years ago so the grey hairs had started to make their presence known. Some things can't be helped. Well, what do I do? What do I want to do? I felt pathetic and miserable.

I was thankfully rescued from my depressing thoughts by the airline's announcement of our flight. As I gathered my things I glanced over in her direction one last time and, by chance, briefly caught her eye. My shyness prevailed as I broke eye contact and shuffled over to the gate. I don't know if I was embarrassed or afraid. Probably both. Oh well, the story of my life. Too focused on work, so unsure of how to conduct myself around women. Especially someone as beautiful as she was. She was probably married or in a serious relationship anyway. Someone that good looking wouldn't stay single very long.

I was assigned to an aisle seat in the Business Class section. Upgrades are one of luxuries that I let myself enjoy when I travel. Perks of the job. And the aisle seat provides me with a little more room. No sooner had I been seated then the subject of my day's fantasy appeared next to me!

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I saw him enter the boarding lounge as I was waiting for my flight in Denver. I was returning from a visit with my daughter in Arizona and was in the process of having my seat upgraded. I thought why not. I had scrimped and saved and put my daughter through school and now she was on her own and earning more than I was! Perhaps I deserved a little pampering now and then!

Anyway, as the ticket agent handed my upgraded ticket to me, I caught a glimpse of a middle aged, oriental man taking a seat several rows away. He was dressed casually yet quite nicely. On the slim side yet not skinny, with a touch of white at the temples. It made him look very handsome.

I just caught him looking at me and he quickly looked away. Is he interested in me? Will he look back at me?

My visit with my daughter was fun. After she left for college, I was lonely. It was the first time since Kira was born that I was left by myself. My visit helped to relieve the lonely feelings, however only while I was there with her. Now I felt lonely again. My duties as her mother had changed. Kira must now live her own life and so must I.

I returned my attention to the tax analysis worksheet that I had been building and tried to complete it before they called my flight. Not difficult work, just something that I have to do for the hotel owners each month.

As I completed it and returned my laptop to my travel case, the airlines began boarding my flight by calling passengers by row numbers. I stood up to gather my things and while doing so, glanced over in the direction of the oriental man. Our eyes met as he looked at me also! I smiled at him. I felt my heart race for an instant however he quickly looked away and walked to the boarding gate. Oh well. He's probably married. Most of them are.

I joined the line boarding our plane and saw that he was ahead of me by a good dozen or so people. I lost track of him after he walked down the jet ramp. Oh well Sun-hi, you're a middle aged woman with a grown daughter! Act your age! I chastised myself.

As I entered the plane, I was directed over to Business Class seating. At least I could enjoy my short flight back home. The upgrade wasn't that expensive yet the seats would be much wider and more comfortable. And the agent was able to get me a window seat! I was going to enjoy this flight.

As I neared my seat, I caught a glimpse of my seat mate! Oh my God! It's him!

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"Excuse me, may I get to my seat?" she asked with a slight accent, while pointing to the window seat.

"Oh, yes. Ah, um, excuse me. Ah, let me get up so you can get in." I stammered, completely flustered!

"Thank you so much." She laid her hand lightly on my arm to thank me as she smiled.

As I stood in the aisle to make room for her to take the window seat, the light fragrance of her perfume made my mind jump. As she settled in, I offered to have a stewardess hang her overcoat for her.

"Thank you. You are most kind." She said, again with a smile.

After that matter was taken care of, I returned to my seat and buckled in as we prepared for the flight. Our flight attendant came by offering blankets and pillows. My seat mate accepted both and thanked the flight attendant. I accepted a pillow myself and felt compelled to thank our flight attendant also.

As our plane pushed back from the terminal I introduced myself, "uh, hello. I'm sorry if I didn't introduce myself earlier. My name is Tad." as I extended my hand to her.

She took my hand in hers, looked directly into my eyes, smiled and replied, "Very nice to meet you Tad. My name is Sun-hi." Her hand was tiny, soft and warm. Her fingers so delicate and dainty. I think it was at this moment that I was smitten with this lovely, desirable creature that would be sitting next to me for the next hour or so.

"Tad is an unusual name." she observed.

"Yes, I'm named after my grandfather, Tadashi. It's a Japanese name that means 'Correct'." I replied. "I guess my grandfather must have been a stickler for being right." I chuckled.

"Nothing wrong with being right!" she laughed. "Well my name also has meaning. In my home country, Sun-hi means being cheerful and of goodness."

"Very fitting name. I noticed how you always have a smile for everyone and how everyone couldn't help smiling back at you!" I told her.

Her eyes twinkled, "Thank you Tad. It makes me feel good to make others smile and help them enjoy life just a bit more than they otherwise would."

"Where do you come from?" I asked.

With that, Sun-hi started telling me about the land where she was born and raised; South Korea. It was interesting to learn of that country from the perspective of someone who actually lived there. Not from some sterile text book whose pictures were taken a decade before the book was printed.

She spoke fondly of the memories of her childhood and the family that she left behind. Her only regret was that she didn't return to visit more often. And, besides her daughter who now lived away, that she had no other family.

Her last remark about the absence of family struck a chord in my heart. I could relate to the loneliness that she felt.

"Sun-hi, you might think that I'm just making up a line, but I know what you mean about being lonely." With that, I recounted my life through my father's death and the drive up the California coast highway that gave me the time to think and realize how empty my life was. I was depressed again.

"Tad, please don't be sad," Sun-hi said. "You still have many years ahead of you."

"You're right Sun-hi. I need to do something to change my life otherwise I'll continue to be unhappy."

"Good thought Tad. What do you want to do? What will you do first?"

"Well, to start, and I hope you don't think me too forward or rude, but how about having dinner with me tonight or tomorrow night?"

"Oh......" she paused and looked away from me.

Oh boy, did I mess up. Damn! Can't even say anything without putting my foot in my mouth. Smooth, Tad. Very smooth and very stupid! I berated myself.

"Sun-hi, I'm sorry if I'm putting you on the spot. Let me retract that question. Please forget that I asked." I could see that it had made her very uncomfortable.

The silence was deafening. "I'm sorry Sun-hi. Please forgive me." I apologized again.

"No Tad, no apologies are needed." Sun-hi replied. "I wasn't expecting that question and I want to take a few minutes to think about what I wanted to say to you. If you will let me, may I give you an answer when we land?"

"Sun-hi, I was out of order. Please. No answer is necessary. I'm sorry that I asked the question."

Thankfully, our conversation picked up again. I learned of her work as the manager of her hotel's accounting department and she learned of my job as manager of the San Fran office of the national accounting firm. It was a serendipitous moment when she told me of her work. Such a coincidence.

To my relief, we dropped back into an easy and comfortable conversation once again and it made the time go quickly. I was also relieved that the tension between us was gone. All too soon the flight attendants were announcing our arrival and reminding us to bring our seat backs into their upright positions. Landing was a non-event as it usually was, and we stood to gather our things before deplaning. The stewardess came forward with Sun-hi's overcoat and we were ready to go.

As we began walking out of the plane Sun-hi turned to me and said, "Yes."

"Huh?"

"Yes, I'll be happy to have dinner with you tonight."

"Sun-hi, thank you but I want to make sure that you know that you can also say no without hurting my feelings."

"Tad, I too must make changes in my life otherwise I will also be lonely and unhappy. And I think that maybe having dinner with you will help me start making changes."

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Sun-hi;

I enjoyed talking with Tad. What a strange name but it fit him. We talked about our lives and I was surprised that he was a manager for a large accounting company. What a coincidence that we are both accountants! But he is big time compared to me.

And he's nice. I can tell. But there's also sadness around him too. He seemed depressed when I told him of missing my daughter. Then he told me his story. It was sad in a way however not something that needed to remain that way. I could see from what he told me that his life was his work and it didn't leave much time for anything else. And it looked as if he just realized it after his father died.

He agreed with me that he needed to change his life. That he needed family in his life. Then he asked me to dinner! Oh my God! What do I do? I don't know what to do..... Tad's apologizing for asking me, for putting me "on the spot," he said. What do I do?

I told him that I needed a few minutes to think about his dinner invitation. Again he apologized for "being out of order." He knows that he surprised me with his question. He's trying to be a gentleman. I like what I see so far.

I thought about his dinner invitation the rest of the trip back to San Francisco. Although he and I were just talking about anything and everything, I was still thinking of his invitation.

Like Tad, I also needed to change my life now that my daughter was on her own. Perhaps now was a good time. I think Tad won't do something that I would worry about. He seems too much of a gentleman to me. He's been very polite and nice. He's handsome also. What do I have to loose?