Surfacing Ch. 06

I frowned, digging up a tasty root I knew I could use for baiting a small snare trap I'd check later. I knew he was right about the inevitable escalation, but wasn't sure of his meaning, of "giving satisfaction." Could he be suggesting I submit so easily to avoid something more violent later on?

I rebelled against the very thought; my training assured I could continue on quickly, as long as I survived, and that event was not even remotely a certainty. Besides, where was the benefit in giving in at the first sign of intent, of rolling over and going limp? That was what one did if they wanted to die.

"I am surprised you could relate to that kind of need, apprentice. Sarilis mentioned 'castrated monk food'...and I do not get the impression you have much yearning for females."

"I have not been cut," the death mage said blandly, "but, like healing, procreation in necromancy is not a top priority or a talent."

I smirked; I thought it odd that someone may have no interest in sex at all, but given what little I knew of Auslan's fertility magic, perhaps this was the other side to that coin which provided balance in the world.

"Have you ever mated, Gavin?"

He shrugged as he gathered some herbage. "Tried it. It was...curious, I suppose. Messy. I don't understand how it becomes an obsession for so many."

I couldn't help grinning at his response, and as the Sun had finally set I could lower my hood to let my head cool a bit. "Likely, because it is messy."

I observed him for a moment, working a few things out. He was correct about the rivalry between two of opposite sex and similar function. But if it wasn't Kurn's boots in which he could stand...it had to be mine.

"I will ask, Gavin, why would you guess how Kurn may or may not handle the lack of control here, and that—in his mind—mating me might solve that?"

Gavin shrugged. "Power is power. Kurn's attempt to intimidate you is not unlike a parent lording over a child. A parent can deny them anything, or can overpower with force and injury, to get them to cower and obey. Kurn is searching for similar weaknesses against you and making it obvious."

That he was, and I briefly saw where Gavin was standing. It validated what Sarilis had said before of his apprentice's nightmares of and hatred for his sire, his "father." It gave me some impressions of his young life without going into specifics.

I was a bit surprised how much it could be so much like down below; were Humans so alike my own race, then, just shorter-lived and less magical, and therefore less subtle or patient? I certainly had plenty of evidence in favor of it just in Sarilis, Gavin, and Kurn.

Yet what of the various hints of the Godblood, of Tamuril's admiration of him, her willingness to protect him? What of his assumed forgiveness and compassion, his wanting to save other lives outside of his blood family with the powder she now had? There were also Gavin's words about a "purity of faith" meant to crumble a foundation, and what did that even mean? How did it compare to the clerics of Manalar itself that he was this kind of a threat to them?

I thought I understood that this Godblood lead a group of warriors as well, fighting men. It implied a balance of life and death, of power and influence that I could accept, but I did not understand how it might be compared to Kurn's overbearing leadership or Gavin's hints about his father's methods of gaining cooperation...

"I want to see what he chooses, and how," I said, finishing my snare trap and began another some distance away with the same, pale root. "I will watch, and will sleep apart and give little opportunity for surprise. You should be ready to move quickly out of the way when he bursts."

He snorted softly. "Indeed I shall."

"Will you sleep tonight out here with me, or back at camp?"

He hesitated, tucking a few plants and bulbs in his satchel. "I left my bedroll back there."

"Good. Perhaps I may ask for this first night what you observe? Future nights may carry too much risk, the longer he has to plot."

"Well. Now I know what you intend. Very well."

I nodded. "I will return for my watch."

After Gavin left with some edibles to cook, I searched for a suitable place to rest before my watch. I would have time to forage further and check my traps in the pre-dawn dark after my watch and as they continued to sleep; I had just enough time.

I took steps to cover my tracks and found a small hollow beneath some jutting rock that seemed previously used by animals. The scent was not so strong that I thought one imminently returning, but even if they did, my babies would be ready. There was only one way in or out, but it was easily defended; it would block the wind and dew as well.

I crawled in, removed my pack and belt but kept them near, and let my spiders set up a few small webs around the rocks, both positions from which to guard me and to capture their own meal. I sighed and got comfortable enough to drift into that meditative state right before reverie, when I'd see how dreams wanted to speak, if they did at all.

*****

If I had to pick a moment that surprised me most when I awoke, just barely able to see the larger Moon straight above me, it was when I rediscovered muscles in my thighs that I had not been aware of for decades as I crawled out of my den. I felt how sore and strange I was as I first started walking. It felt like tight, leather straps had replaced some of my most intimate muscles of inner thigh; it would take some time to stretch them out again.

This was thanks, I realized, to the broad back and belly of Gavin's mare, which I had needed to cling to like I'd had an enormously round, standing Draegloth between my thighs all day. Another thing to which I should get acclimated quickly.

I took my time walking back, truly enjoying the sight and smells of the clearly defined landscape. I could see so much better at night, and the temperature was like comfortable Underdark quarters at the moment. It would get much hotter when the Sun rose, and just keeping my eyes open would be very taxing.

All so the horses wouldn't break their legs and my travel companions would not get lost in the dark.

If our destination was as far as they said, and if the mounts would indeed speed our journey and conserve my own energy, it would be worth it. I had the possibility of catching up to my Sisters who may be on foot, and I had the best opportunity I could ask to learn more of the Surface, more of the queen's sought mercenary, and more of Sarilis than Rausery could ever have guessed when she'd sent me out.

I sneaked up on the camp, kept my senses open for wards or any traps or alarms. I wanted to see how much they might trust the apprentice's watch, and how well they could detect someone like me if necessary. I did not have time to comb the whole camp now, but I would when I took over Gavin's place.

I sensed a ward from Gavin himself but he also left a spot close to the horses where it could be bypassed. I wondered about that. Did the beasts hate being so close to active magical energy? Would they serve as their own alarm on that side?

There was another ward set by Castis, but much closer to him and Kurn. That was good to know. The two were sleep near Mathias and closest to the banked coals. Rithal was a bit farther away, on his back and unmoving but for the rise and fall of his chest.

The three that normally wore armor were all without it at this moment, and it was interesting to see they seemed to shrink—either only a bit, as with Mathias and his stiff leather pieces, or a notable amount as with Kurn and Rithal. They still wore clothing, but it made me reflect that, in valuing flexibility and stealth, my armor did not really increase my width or breadth. They could all still tell my true shape if the cloak was not blocking, while theirs was masked a bit even without a cloak.

I'd known they made more noise all the time regardless of dress, as they were used to it, but without the armor, some might have the ability to be quieter.

I considered just breaking Gavin's ward again as I had before, but the next moment questioned whether it was worth the energy, or the inherent risk. If I walked next to the horses...well, Kurn's stallion was separated from the rest and tied to a branch three trees over as being more obviously aggressive. The gelded and mares might not mind me so much, but I could see the stallion trumpeting an alarm just stepping close to the others...

And what was the trouble if he did? It was my watch, and I was rested. It might teach me something.

I made just enough noise for two of the beasts to swivel their ears back in my direction; the dark stallion raised his head and whickered low, eyes probably not able to see me clearly but nostrils flaring wide to catch my scent. I murmured a few, low words I'd once crooned to the guarro as I'd approached it in the Underdark, and while the stallion pranced his hooves in the dirt, the rest just shifted their weight and looked about.

Gavin lifted his head and looked in my direction in response to the movement and whuffling breaths of our mounts, but he wasn't looking right at me. He couldn't see me yet....though that changed rapidly as soon as I stepped beneath his mare's head, electing not to walk behind as I'd been warned they had a mighty kick if startled. He straightened and I could tell he had identified me.

There was no real firelight, I wore my cloak, and I was standing several running strides away. Was his night vision that good or was he certain of my size? I wouldn't have been, were I in his place...

He said nothing as I approached and sat down beside him, resting my back against the log they'd dragged over for such a purpose. We watched each other for a few moments, and finally I smiled.

"Guessing it was me?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "I could make out your aura by the horses."

I frowned and had to wonder about that. Part of my training in the Sisterhood was controlling my whole being for stealth, including my mind, my focus, my energy... if I was failing utterly at that, why had no magic-using Drow sensed my aura when I was sneaking up on them? What was different about Gavin's sense than those of the Underdark?

Gavin broke my thought with, "You did not break the ward again."

"Having it will help you sleep better, yes?"

"I doubt that was your major concern."

I chuckled softly. We both went quiet as Mathias shifted in his sleep, waiting for the night sounds to return to the foreground before saying anything further.

"What do you do to 'suppress' that aura?" I asked.

Gavin's dark eyes blinked at me in the night. He considered, but shook his head. "Save that for the road. Too complex to explain it all now."

"I will hold you to that. What about the eve? Anything notable, and is there food left?"

He gave me an odd look but shook his head. "They ate it all. It wasn't much, I prepared some rabbit and a bird, and vegetables. No large event. Some question where you were, I told them I did not know but you would return on your own. Mathias let Castis handle your pendant. He looked disconcerted when he tried to cast a spell, one of identification, I believe, and then handed it back. It's curious. Not just a stone, but neither of us sense magic."

I smiled. "Hm. Anything else?"

"Nothing that wasn't posturing."

I nodded. I knew how quiet and observant Gavin was from the Tower; I could put value in what he saw or heard and that he chose to share. He was also smart enough to hold something back if he wanted, but it would take some time to be able to see those voids in whatever he said. I could only work with what he gave.

Which meant it would be important to offer something useful in return, so those doubts he'd expressed the night before we left would not cloud his future judgment. If ever balance was important for me with an ally, it would be on this journey with this particular Human mage.

"The stone should not harm you if you touch it," I whispered to him. "It is active, though it is not for mages to use."

The necromancer's gaunt, shadowed face remained focused on me for several moments before he nodded and turned back to watch the Ma'ab sleeping.

"Well?" I nudged. "I am here. Sleep."

He made a face I thought was fairly eloquent even without words; a skeptical brow and a doubtful twist of his broad mouth. I understood; the one did not necessarily encourage the other, and it made me smile. Nonetheless, he gradually bedded down on Rithal's side of the fire but still apart from him, and tried to return to the sleep that had been interrupted by third watch.

I waited some time in silence, patience as eventually the horses settled and the breathing of all five males made their regular patterns. I shifted my watching location to be just close enough to Castis so I could prod at the boundary of his ward and discover its nature.

Of simple repelling. No feeling of illness or fear, anger or temptation to encourage a loss of caution, to cause a distraction or loss of memory. Between Castis and Gavin's wards, I was rather surprised how simple they were compared to those in the Drow City I had confronted almost every cycle in some form.

And yet Gavin could still see my aura. Could Castis?

I was not going to attempt to break the Ma'ab mage's ward this night, though I suspected that I could, and fairly quickly, too, if the need somehow outweighed the risk of a miscarriage—and with this kind of simple ward, that risk was lower than most Noble Houses. Still. It would have to be a life or death necessity, which was a possibility with the Ma'ab.

Regardless, there was no reason to be so reckless tonight.

My stomach began to cramp in hunger well before my watch was finished. I nibbled on what I had collected prior to lying down in the unused den, and I waited out the Moons' nightly travels across the Sky. It became a little colder, and eventually it was time to wake up Rithal.

I approached very carefully. His eyes opened before I touched him and he looked over to his left since I wasn't so foolish as to hover right above him. He grunted acknowledgement and sat up, his fuzzy red beard and wild hair seeming to blaze beneath the Moonlight.

Though I considered staying and learning more of this dwarf, what drove him toward Manalar perhaps, the need for fresh sustenance to preserve my stores was more important right then.

"I will return at sunrise," I murmured, and left by way of the horses again.

The dwarf watched my back with suspicion until I disappeared into the forest to check my traps.

*******

My pattern of keeping with Gavin during the day and going off on my own at night annoyed Kurn and kept the other three on edge. It also prevented me from making any contact at all with Mathias, who still had my sapphire.

On the other side of the coin, I had little trouble staying reasonably clean and fed with the resources available in the mountains, and much less energy was wasted on bickering or contests of will—something Rithal commented on during the fourth night, to which I fully agreed. Our pace remained consistent with the warmer weather broken only by a few small rainstorms, and Kurn's patience seemed further extended by the fact that there did indeed seem to be a visible pattern to me on which he could rely.

As a result, Gavin was able to stay in the camp most nights and give me a few insights on what was said when I wasn't present and they thought the apprentice couldn't hear. We both knew Kurn was still watching and crouching like the mountain cat I'd once observed take a fawn that wandered too far from its mother, though I believed I preferred this over the possible alternative of the Hellhound learning more of my training or how my mind worked. I could respond to a spring out of darkness; I knew I had less defense if they learned to turn my own impulses against me.

At the same time...I also lacked the opportunity to discover some of those same impulses in my adversary. Back at the Tower, Kurn had wanted me to be wary and ever watchful on the long journey, perhaps believing the stress would wear me down. I noticed that, while our pattern certainly kept me expecting something sooner or later, I almost looked forward to it just to break the boredom.

The reason I did not make the first move was, as always, the demands on my limited energy, my quick hunger, and the safety of my unborn. This kept me patient and reigned in my impulse to prod the sleeping giant for entertainment. It was worth it to me to maintain the predictability for now.

The one thing I did discover once was Kurn's practice at dawn, before he knew if I had returned or not. It had been good timing for me; I possessed an abundance of edibles, had had my fill, and had time to spare before the others usually got up.

Kurn was wearing only his trousers and boots, and some dark red pendant hung aroud his neck, which he had kept well hidden before now. His lack of dress offered a very good look at the impressive musculature beneath the hide and metal. I could also see an uneven, faded brown tone to most of the paler skin of his torso, as if...what? I wasn't quite sure. As if he changed color, like some of the reptiles on the Surface? In response to what? Perhaps Humans burned by the Sun turned the peeling skin brown instead of grey...

I watched him from shadows, and a bit of distance away from the camp, as he moved with his heavy, two-handed sword, moving in deliberate guards, arcs, swings, and rolls. They were practiced moves that would be fairly difficult to engage directly because of his reach and the power behind the swings. One true strike, and someone my size would lose a limb. His strength afforded him more speed than such a heavy weapon should allow, though I wondered how long he could maintain such a fight.

It had been quite a while since I'd watched any gifted male fighters. Prior to seeing my blood sister dead, I'd known a handful of male Drow with reputations as I had trained intensely in martial groups, though there had been far fewer at Court, and then he had been treated more as an act capable of entertaining tricks. Even being suitably dangerous, some Nobles still chose to disregard him as only good for breeding or pleasure or entertainment.

Wasn't that familiar, given the subject of my spying?

It would be plainly foolish for me to take such an attitude here, though Kurn had to have a weakness. Endurance? Accuracy? Patience? I did not especially want to be in the middle of a conflict before I would find out, but that might be the only way to know.

Unless I tried to woo him instead. The thought made me smile, even though revisiting the concept of how the Hellhound might find me useful still seemed like too much risk for too little rewar—

"Ku's ummat," the Hellhound rumbled, breathing heavily as he stopped his practice.

I smirked. I would have to ask him what that meant sometime. He'd said it once before when I'd surprised him in the great room at the Tower.

Kurn had broken a sweat and he ran a hand through his shorter, black hair as if to get it off his forehead. He was scowling as usual as he stepped to where his belt hung with his shirt in the nearest tree. He sheathed his blade in its separate scabbard, but left the belt and shirt hanging as he breathed in deeply and deliberately, his nostrils curling, before he let it out again. He did this a couple more times; it seemed part of a habit or ritual.

I had expected him to do as he did next: to take the few moments to listen about him and look for watchers, to convince himself that he was still alone. I stayed still and quiet in the branches, and when he turned back to his tree trunk, I knew he hadn't sensed me.

I anticipated next that he would don his shirt and weapons and to return to camp, where I would meet him and we'd be on our way. But that wasn't what happened. Instead he loosened his trousers and only when he turned did I realize he had developed an erection sometime between the start of his practice and now. I straightened. This was a break in routine.