Surfacing Ch. 10

*Use me. Quench my thirst.*

I had not used it yet—not in practice or curiosity. I had not drawn it ever since Brom and Innathi had both pressed me down together, so that the ancient sorcerer could spread my legs apart and think himself successful in breeding me, so that he could use his "wild mage" on me....

Innathi had been correct, it had felt "wonderful," even as I hated the lack of choice or self-control, being just a breeding mare on my knees. She had wanted me to experience that, and clearly for her own ends. She was not so unlike her sister. I still worried that my unborn had not been completely protected from such powerful magic saturation, but at least I knew now that the baby was still growing. At least I was still hungry as ever and my breasts still tender to the touch.

Certainly Kurn's preferred manner of pressing me down would do far less subtle damage to my unborn. At that mental image, I became aware that my jaw was clenched and my hands fisted as I closed in on the camp. My chest seemed to bloom with heat as I thought that Soul Drinker could indeed have the Hellhound before I allowed that to happen. I would stab him with it a thousand times with it should he try again as he had at the inn.

So why not just do it now and prevent his inevitable stupidity? Why not just cut off the risk now that he had made his intentions clear? In the short term, I wanted him to face the Warpstone cult. His actions then would determine whether it was even possible to continue to Manalar, or even to Augran in search of knowledge of the mercenary.

I stopped in place next to a pollen-heavy tree as I fully realized the confused immaterial "plan" for what it was.

What about Gaelan? She was the whole reason I'd made the demand that I did at the inn! Assuming we destroyed the cult for her, how long could I linger in this area searching for my Sister with Kurn and the others hanging onto my back before I had to leave? What were the chances I would find her, or find out what happened to her, or whether she'd even made it across the Midway?

When I began walking again, more slowly and quietly through the trees and down the hill, I had a lot more to think about.

When I'd first left the Underdark portal on my way to Sarilis's Tower, I still had not realized in truth just how much unpopulated space there was out here. I had known the theory, but the reality was something else altogether.

Gaelan and I could have been a rise apart at many places and we would have missed each other. The lack of enclosed tunnels and true dead ends did not somehow make it easier to see farther in the distance as one might expect, or to track across the land. The volatile elements changed the Surface constantly, and irregular rates; not in abrupt shifts like in the Underdark. The sheer number of factors involved in unfamiliar forest was too much to even find a starting point.

I had only the end points for either Sister. What would I do when I reached them?

I'd had some thought in mind that if I were to be lucky enough to find sign of Gaelan, I could leave the group, track her alone, and meet up with her and they would never know why I left, and we could then move on ahead to find Jael near Manalar.

Yet I couldn't leave Gavin unless I wanted yet another powerful enemy. I could take him along, but doubted we would have much better chance competing with Kurn and Rithal for the honor of toppling Manalar, or much chance of avoiding capture, torture, and execution by Witch Hunters; or finding Jael safe and sound. And in that time, while *still* keeping my pregnancy and evading recapture by Brom, now helped by Mathias's spying and whatever else the sorcerer may have done besides fuck me into submission.

All in all, my original idea was a particularly stupid fantasy of success against odds as infinite as the Abyss. What had I been thinking? Did I even have a fraction of these same options now?

I was seeing more and more reason why going North now was simply a way to deal with a problem that had nothing to do with my Sister. I may have to kill anyone, except Gavin, who survived the Warpstone cult. I could not leave loose ends like these unstable Men behind me. It was far too dangerous just leaving Brom behind.

*Sso killl them all...nnow...*

*No, Soul Drinker.*

I needed them for the Warpstone cult. But that very well may be the end of their use, far short of reaching Manalar.

"What was that?"

I blinked and saw Gavin standing calmly by the horses, his hood actually down to expose his pale face and black, stringy hair; he was not too far ahead of me. He had climbed down from the overhang at some point and had been waiting between me and the camp. I remembered that he had taken the longer watch at the end of the night so he would be up now.

I also guessed that he had been able to see my living aura coming through the trees from a way off in the dark.

"What was what?" I returned.

"The flash of light and thunder. The sky is clear."

"Flash-bang stone," I said tersely. "Kurn has a few and decided to use one to punish me for an insult."

My ally nodded once. "Sounds foolish enough to be him. And you left him behind?"

"It was that or stay and kill him."

Gavin's pale face smiled in a way that looked particularly gruesome in the Moonlight; his eyes looked like deep pits in the dark before Sunrise, and his lips remained closed over his black teeth, giving the appearance of a mute, eyeless mask, framed by dark and unkempt hair, then he began to speak again, seeming less like a corpse.

"One of you won't live through this task, Sirana. There is too much volatile emotion between you, and it will only get worse as we get close to the chaos element."

"I am not volatile, Gavin."

"But you are with child. That tends to override utter calm in the face of threat, I understand. It will not be a pleasant experience for anyone, but know my Patroness still favors you to go to Manalar. We will have to kill the Ma'ab if they survive the cult. I'm sure Rithal and Mathias will work with us."

The similarity—and yet the contrast—to my thoughts just a moment ago was unnerving in a way. Gavin's suggestion was more reasonable, and mine had been more extreme, even though they both involved culling threats at a particular time and place.

But no, it hadn't been more extreme—Gavin was not aware of what Brom could do, and he wasn't aware of Gaelan or the mercenary I was supposed to research, or of Jael...

"Are you alright?"

I was covering my eyes as my head had begun to ache right behind my eyes, as if I was still feeling the effects of the flash-bang. I took a breath and exhaled, letting my hands drop and nodding as I opened my eyes again.

"You said tensions will only get worse the closer we get?"

Gavin nodded. "Why travelers go in circles, why hunters panic and never escape familiar lands, why confusion and disorder seems to reign near a homestone."

"Why did you not mention this earlier?"

"There has been no time to commune with the Grey Maiden properly until tonight. I understand, however, that Brom already gave you your best defense in the Elven relic."

Somehow that thought—while I knew it to be true—was depressing.

"What about you?" I asked.

"My link to the Greylands will anchor me better than you could imagine, Sirana. I will be fine. What my Patroness wanted to know was what we had to neutralize the homestone?"

I shook my head slowly. "Ahm..."

I had nothing. Lolth damn it, why hadn't Brom mentioned that, either? Or had he, and I'd just forgotten to follow-up? Or just didn't remember at all...

No. I couldn't start down that path.

I said, "Sarilis told me that the first time, he let my Elder handle the...'holy water,' that he thought they got the homestone."

"Apparently not," Gavin commented. "It might have helped for you to mention that earlier, the Witch Hunters carried such a thing, but then perhaps not. It didn't work the first time, assuming Sarilis is being truthful."

I shrugged. I never knew anything of Rausery's mission before; I had nothing to go on. "My Sister now is expected to use her magic and find another way."

"Vague and unhelpful."

"I know."

"Although if we are discussing magic, Sirana, you have the vial that Sarilis made for the pool."

"Won't I need it for the pool?"

"Maybe not. Perhaps, preferably not."

"Gavin. That is vague and unhelpful."

"Very well. I have a scenario for you. Sarilis wants us to throw it into the pool. It will then drive everyone nearby mad. What about us? We have no form of charm or protection given to attune us as 'non-targets' to any spell. If Castis had been halfway competent, he would have asked for an amulet or ring for him and Kurn, at least. I've been watching. They have no such item."

"You knew this at the time," I said, and Gavin smiled a bit. "But you and I figured your former master was sending us in hoping we wouldn't survive to come back to bother him."

Gavin nodded. "At this distance Sarilis has no means to actually control the result. Which means he just wants to disturb the flow of power in the region—"

"He told me exactly that."

"—and we are collateral damage, if we use the vials."

I felt briefly torn between which path to follow up on first: what the vial might do against the homestone, or what we would do if we didn't use the vial on Manalar's holy pool?

I shouldn't have been. Clearly, one was much more imminent.

"What would happen around the chaos element?" I asked, feeling anxious. "How could it be anything less disruptive than tossing it in Manalar's pool?"

"I have a theory, but need to study one of the vials to see if I am right."

He was suggesting that I hand it over to him; why was I not surprised?

"Tell me your theory first."

"Simply that what is inside the black vial is dangerous to magic. It's inert now, but once released it becomes highly unstable. When coming into contact with magic-rich objects, people, etcetera, it sets off a volatile and cataclysmic reaction. Magic funneled in attempts to halt the reaction are only likely to increase the intensity.

"The result of this reaction is a 'pressure' wave, both a physical and spiritual one. Mages at the epicenter may become magically 'burned out,' unable to even cast the most simple of cantrips. Those unable to shield their minds would be rendered catatonic or homicidal. And this would be inside Manalar's temple, where the clerics and Bishops keep all their magic-born men in one place."

My anxious feeling had become an outright chill; it made sense and would result in exactly what we'd expect at Manalar. Even Brom had been wary of my holding that vial and threatening to open it in his inn. If not for the fact that it would have destroyed me and my unborn as well, that had likely been the only way that Cris-ri-phon might have been neutralized.

For the first time in centuries, he was truly threatened, and I hadn't understood the whole of it at the time.

And still I did not understand why he let me go, but I could not discount the nervousness the ancient sorcerer must have felt with three of those vials amongst us. He did not try to take them away, nor warn nor threaten us, but simply never mentioned them again after telling me to be "very careful."

"How could that possibly help against the Warpstone?" I asked quietly.

Gavin smirked. "The essential instability of Warpstone combined with the vial's magical instability? It may create a 'backfire' that cancels the two out with minimal damage to the surroundings."

"Or it may make it worse. You and Brom both said that focused magic was effective against the Warpstone. Something that makes focused magic unstable is supposed to make the chaos stable?"

Gavin shrugged and considered how to explain. "I spoke of focused will against the cultists, Sirana. They were once of solid form and order. We'd be infusing that order back into them, neutralizing them. The home stone, on the other hand...holy water reportedly didn't work. That is very focused, very orderly. Something volatile in essence, on the other hand, might. But I do want to study a vial first."

"You or your mistress?"

Another small smile. "Both. And while you mention it, I notice you avoid calling her what I do."

"Because the word makes no sense to me, but what you describe of her tells me that she is your mistress, if not your Matron."

"A few proper Drow words, I wager?"

"What else?"

"And what do they mean?"

I crossed my arms. "A female 'master,' I suppose is the best way to translate it for you. Just as a Matron would be the primary mother, the source of the bloodline and the family." "Ah. And the primary father?"

I shook my head. "There might be three or six of them, but the mother does not change, and there is no doubt as to the heritage through the mother."

Gavin's brows rose somewhat, but he did not comment on how many males might be around one female, especially a Matron. What he chose to focus on instead displayed a better understanding than I might have guessed.

"So sure of the heritage. I'd wager there could have been some infant-swapping in your race's history, Sirana."

Actually, that had crossed my mind when I'd been younger and had the ambition to become First Daughter of my former House even with a barren womb... I sighed, knowing better now how foolish that plan had been, too.

"Perhaps among commoners. But it is very difficult when the waiting is very long and you have no swollen belly to show for it. The Nobles make sure they are seen pregnant in public and likely every mage and Priestess can tell a real pregnancy at a glance, just as you can."

"Fascinating," he commented, and his eyes did lower down toward my womb again for a moment. "Are you a Matron, then?"

"No. My Matron still lives, and this is my first but with no House of my own."

"I see. So why does Patroness not work? It means 'female head of family.'"

"Because you also have a word for mother, but use the one for father instead. It is insulting when the mother puts many more resources into bearing young than the sire."

He shrugged. "Very well. Mistress works as well as Patroness, if you prefer to use it. I will have to ask the Grey Maiden, as my benefactress, if she has a preference. At least now I know what you mean when you say it."

Gavin looked toward the East, seeming to sense just as I did when the Sky had barely begun to lighten. "Hm. Where were we?"

I paused, thinking back. "The vial."

"Ah yes. We have perhaps an hour, Sirana. May I study it? I will return it to you prior to our departure."

I sighed. "Where will you be?"

"Amongst the Witch Hunters. I'll not likely be disturbed."

He had made a good case and I needed his council in all things magic, I knew it. I carefully removed the vial from its padded pouch and placed it deliberately in Gavin's outstretched hand.

He said with a nod, "See you when the Sun is up."

*****

Mathias was still asleep; I could hear him snoring softly even before I topped the rise to the camp. I believed Gavin by now that whatever Brom had given the skin hunter had taken its toll. Rithal and Castis were talking quietly amid the scent of breakfast, and I overheard general talk on the likely distance we might be from our target and how soon Kurn might be back, but they went silent just before I appeared at the edge of the rise.

"Elf," Rithal acknowledged, though Castis said nothing.

"Three days, Rithal?" I asked. "You truly think so?"

"Greetings and good morn to you, too," the mage muttered, and I laughed.

"Do not correct me on decorum, fire-spitter," I said. "You should be correcting Kurn on his ill-fated obsession to bed me and save him another injury."

The stocky dwarf frowned, bushy red eyebrows drawing down. "Ye didn' go near him alone, did ye?"

"Did you not hear thunder or see a flash of light?"

Castis rubbed his face in exasperation. "You did. Gods, Sirana, you are just like the tricksters of legend. You must make it as difficult as possible for mortals so you can giggle from the eternal shadows."

I shook my head, feeling astonished at that comment. "Or maybe laughing is the only way to respond to some absurdities, given enough time."

"I'm betting that you did not have to go near him at all."

"And in placing that upon me, you are saying he is not in control of his responses to me in proximity."

"You are provoking him."

"That makes him a mindless beast."

"No, it doesn't."

I smiled. "I slaughter beasts who act mad, Castis. If he is no beast, let him prove it, whether I stand near him or not."

"Eh, eh, shut it," Rithal raised his hand and scowled at us, then looked at me. "We could be two days instead o' three, dependin' on how the weather holds and our speed."

As well as how we fared against the influence of the chaos element, if Gavin was correct. The sudden overlap of the discussion—of the very proximity of something making one mad—struck me as especially foreboding. Soul Drinker would ground me, Gavin said, as a magic object highly-focused, and Gavin and Castis had decent chances. Kurn's sword and Rithal's axe might help them. Mathias was most vulnerable, unless he was hiding something.

Now would be the time to mention this, right?

Kurn tromped back into the camp about then, the tiresome conversation nearly started over again from when I'd first arrived, just add more insults and innuendo about mating habits and the voiced temptation to kick the bounty hunter to get him up. Mathias slept all the way through it with me watching him, until the Sun rose, paining my eyes, and Gavin emerged from amidst his Witch Hunters.

When the apprentice could not gain our attention easily, he lowered his hood and stood patiently. Somehow seeing Rithal's ruddy face go completely white, then take on a greenish flash somehow, as he stared up at where I knew Gavin to be standing was something I had not ever expected to see in the sturdy dwarf's complexion. The Ma'ab eyes soon followed and widened as well, and I knew for certain what Gavin had done.

I looked over my shoulder and saw the last bit of grey disappearing into the void-black of his face, the only color and anything obviously moving was the icy-blue of his irises. The sclera had not changed back to white, whether in shade or Sun, and Gavin had just shown them with his face the same transition that I'd watched yesterday with his hands.

"What by Kaaz Tehren are you?!" Castis asked in a pitch that made me wince and actually startled Mathias awake.

"Fuck..." the bounty hunter muttered groggily, looking around but more in the direction of Castis's voice. "What the...fuck....?"

"Tha's a good question," Rithal said quietly, making clear effort to keep his voice level, unlike the mage.

Kurn just shook his head, his nose wrinkled with disgust as he looked Gavin up and down.

Surprisingly, Gavin looked at me. "How would you describe it, Sirana?"

I lifted a brow at him. "You want me to answer?"

"If you please. You are not afraid. Why not?"

I expelled a breath and gave it some thought. Indeed, why wasn't I afraid? Because I knew him quite well by now. Of more immediate concern, though, why should the others put away thoughts of expelling him from us? What might convince them? Mathias was awake now and his eyes were as round as I'd ever seen them, but interestingly, the rest of his face was without expression.

I had a thought then looked at Rithal. "Gavin is a messenger. He carries back to Manalar what they have made of him, and of others."

Rithal considered that and looked up again at Gavin, perhaps not because he wanted to but to see what I might.

"He looks like a reaper, a harvester o' souls in the underworld."

I smiled. If only Rithal knew about the black shard that had been Jacob's soul. As much as the group had argued about the interrogation at the death, neither Mathias, Brom, nor I had shared what Gavin had actually done.