Surprising Dowdy Dani 2 - Again

The four reversed again. "I got one," piped Gary. "What's the largest gang bang for a man Porn star? Jon Dough had sex with over 55 women in one day, having 5 to 6 orgasms. We must each be close - to the number of orgasms anyway." Gary said Dani had NINE orgasms already and was sure there were more to CUM. I counted seven for me and four for Sue -so far.

In the next about-face, Whilma faced us and spoke up, "How about I add one? What's the most penis castrations? In 1300 BC, King Menephta defeated the Libyans and to celebrate, cut off 13,000 penises from the defeated army. An ancient monument to him lists the names of all the penis owners. You won't find THAT in your history classes. Beware boys..."

The next turnabout Jill took a turn, "ewwww! Something slightly more gentle... What's the most children birthed by one woman? Russian peasant, Valentina Vassilyeva, birthed 69 children in a total of 27 births between 1725 and 1765, including 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. The modern record is held by Leontina Albina of Chile who claims to have mothered 64 children, of whom 55 are documented. Who knows where the other nine are hiding or getting passports!"

"There's a joke about this, but I refuse to go there." Gary volunteered as the ladies turned. "What was the smallest human penis? 0.39 inches. That's less than ½ inch, so stop complaining, Dani. You have to wonder though, was that dick swollen or flaccid?"

During the snickering, the ladies turned again. Dani answered, "I never complained even when your friends called you 'pencil dick'. So What is the largest human penis? The official record is 13.5 inches (34 cm) long and 6.25 inches in circumference, measured in the early 1900s by Dr. Robert L. Dickenson. Not even swinging stud Bill comes close to that. I don't think I'd let anything that big near ANY of my holes!"

"Then you'll hate this." Bill responded, but waited for the ladies to make another dizzying turn. "What's the largest penis of any animal? Rorqual whales have penises that average 10 feet, and as much as a 1 foot in diameter. Hippopotamuses and elephants only have 2 foot dicks. Have we had enough?"

"One more, but I think you ladies have been good sports and may all walk normally now. What is the largest human clitoris? In The Sexual Anatomy, W. Francis Benedict mentions a 12 inch clitoris. How'd you like to deep throat THAT?"

"OK, now that's enough." replied Whilma. "Have you all been watching MANSWERS or what? We're just a block from the market. Do you have a plan, Al?" A young, naked, couple hurriedly crossed the street and paused to stare at us. We stopped and the woman stared at our stiff again cocks as her husband greeted Gary with a tease and asked if his plain wife knew he was naked on the street.

"See the sweet cheeks on the right end of the line of beautiful women? That's my plain, homely wife. Honey, you remember meeting the Scrods?" Dani turned toward us, perfectly timed with a sun ray breaking thru the trees and brilliantly lighting her exquisite, porcelain perfection. I expected to see a star twinkle on her gleaming teeth.

Whether from embarrassment or anger, a splotch of red ran from above her nipples to her brow. Instead of extending her hand, she took a defiant, confident, legs spread wide with hands on hips Wonder Woman pose and glared at the obviously inferior, yet pretty, wife. Addressing their rudeness, "Yes, I remember. You were among the first, whispering loudly, to nominate me 'dowdy Dani'. Thank you so much for spreading that moniker to all your friends. THIS is the dowdy me you couldn't see and will never touch, so fuck you!" Wow! The wallflower found her power. Now we knew why she was so red.

The girls hurried after Dani and Gary chided, "See what happens when you prejudge a frumpy book by its cover? You miss out on her perfection." He wheeled off after Dani, leaving us to chase him and ignore the embarrassed couple.

The girls hadn't gone far and were clustered in a group hug with Dani trembling among them. She was smiling, "That felt so good to slap their faces with their own gossip. But it was so unkind too. I don't want to be like them. Maybe I should hurry and appol..."

"Not yet Dani. Let them bask in their own misbehavior and give them time to learn a lesson from it. Then we can apologize together. I agree with you about living by the Golden Rule, but I think timing counts." That's the most profound and supportive thing I ever heard from Gary. Maybe there is hope for them. Dani sat on him and kissed him firmly.

"Good for you both. Now let's get to our Nude Day pinnacle. Bob isn't much to look at, but the meat he hides behind his apron is impressive. It's long and thin, perfect for raiding rump roasts - that means YOUR rumps. But(t) since you won't be fucking or licking, well, I'll leave it to you to figure how to get free meat from him. With four of you, let's try for thick kielbasa, long link sweet sausage, small neck Genoa salami and.... hmmmm... we'll let him suggest something else." We stood at the entrance to the market, debating if we should really take this last step when another naked couple walked past us and entered. When a few naked singles, male and female, entered with little notice of us, we went in.

Far from a SUPERmarket, it was still bigger than a country store, it still had a produce, general goods and a deli/butcher section with a small grill. Brenda, co-owner, worked the checkout counter. She was in her early 50s, blond/sliver hair, very pretty face, average body and height with sagging D-cups and well-stretched nipples. Her ass and skin were still tight and though her pulchritude was gone, she was still desirable and a delight to watch. Bob, her other half and business partner, was the butcher. In his early sixties, he was chubby yet muscular, short, grey haired and balding with a moderate beer belly. He was an affable and horny male, still 30 in his head, but no ones' idea of an idol. His biggest attribute, he claimed, was in his pants. Once a year he got to show it to everyone and he says that gets him some action. Brenda was beyond jealously, he crowed, not sure if that were praise worthy.

Jill wondered, "What does he like? How do we approach him?" I explained that during a poker night, while drunk, he boasted that while he liked the taste of sweet and tangy, wet pussy, he preferred to drill in dark wells and didn't care if they were male or female. He laughed, telling us that asses are all the same except for some extra hair on men. He said his long dick was ideal for popping anal virgins. When we tried to ignore him, he dropped his pants and showed us. That's how I know it's really big. He also said he liked the taste and musty smell of back doors.

Brenda took wary notice of the four beauties and three stiff dicks moving past her counter. She had to wonder why we all had green pony tails securely attached to us. Though noting the produce possibilities, we headed straight for the butcher. Bob was bent over a display case to organize the chilly contents. His sagging bare ass didn't compel a second look. "Heya, Bob! What's cooking?" He turned to greet me and was shocked at the line of beautiful, naked women looking at him.

"Al! So good to SEE you, All of you. And you all too. Celebrating Nude Day too I see. This is the first year I've seen you in the buff. Looking good! And Sue, wow! You look even better naked than in that loose little bikini you wore at the pool. Vah vah vooom! I know Bill and Whilma from our block party, still looking hot. I can't wait for our August party. I know Gary from our card nights and the track." Giving his stiff, tall dick a stare and pointing at it, "I didn't know you cared. I'll deal with YOU later, or Brenda will. But I don't know these two goddesses. You look just like that dancer on TV, Julliane Hough?"

"Yes, this is the divine Jillian, Julliane's local clone and YOUR delivery girl. This other porcelain knockout is..."

"I'm apparently locally known as dowdy Dani, Gary's pathetic wife and a FREQUENT customer here." she cut in, annoyed.

Bob struggled to stare only at her face, twisting his lips, neck and eyes to recognize her. After blocking her stunning body with his hand under his eyes, he gasped, "Dani!?! Holy s.... WOW! You... BRENDA, come look who this is. Jeez you look so different, so spectacular naked. I never would have guessed.... and your being so shy too." He swallowed noisily and gaped several times while assessing her from head to toe. "Dani, you are stunning." Brenda gasped when she recognized my own sweet Pygmalian. "I'll never see that dowdy image of you again even if you overly enclothe your magnificent charms anew." His suddenly, hugely tenting apron testified to his sincerity.

"OK, Bob. I believe you and will forgive you if you can help us out. We needed something for our grill and thought of you." Dani flirted and teased. "I've never seen your apron stand so far from you. I guess it appreciates what it sees too." She pointed directly at his bulge then ran her finger down his apron and out along the hidden prick. It visibly surged and flapped the apron. "Is all that for meeeee?" she said as her finger reached the tip. He gasped when she squeezed his glans and his eyes crossed. Brenda bruskly turned away, whispering something about his being in good hands.

"Oh, doll, what can I do for you? Anything you want. I don't see any money, so I bet you want to barter something. What are you offering?" Right to the point.

Jill sidled next to him and stroked his exposed nipple, thus inviting him to stroke and pinch hers and Dani's. He glared at us as he fondled both beauties. "We actually have a delivery for you in exchange for enough meat to replace them in their crates. Whilma and I are each smuggling a twice baked, twice seasoned potato. It is a special delicacy since it's been marinating in our special sauce. I bet that's worth a small fortune to you. Dani and Sue are each heating a sweet yam in their smuggle ovens for you and Brenda to enjoy, if you know what I mean."

"Spuds? You're offering me spuds in exchange for meats?"

"Special, unique spuds." Sue joined the seduction. "As if basting in our personal sauces weren't enough, we each had the additional juices from a beautiful policewoman applied to our bounty to help slide them inside our smuggler boxes." I'm afraid they showed all their cards too and may have shifted the power to him. No, there's one bribe left before the negotiating ramps up. "If you're not interested in inspecting our boxes, we can go to another butcher and offer... ourselves." Sue squeezed his pointy apron and he shivered.

"Well, just give me a minute. What are you looking for exactly?" Knowing his poker tactics, I felt I had to cut in and be plain.

"Bob, if you haven't guessed by now you're too dense to make a fair exchange. These four beauties have been marinating those spuds in their pussy juice for you with an extra spicy helping of cop pussy. While we can't allow you to fuck or lick them, we'll get you right next to their wet flesh. Besides just swapping the spuds for some meat, we'll let YOU dig them out of these beautiful, tasty honey pots right here. You can let your customers watch and increase your sales too. You'll at least get to taste five savory pussies that I can swear to you, all taste divine. Digging out the spuds will also coat your fingers with their freshest sauces and give you wet dreams for weeks. If that doesn't make your dick drool, we have nothing to discuss. While we don't have health certificates, I can swear we're all healthy and clean."

"I like what you have to offer, but my wife and my business get nothing out of this. I can't sell these grubs, though I could get a very good price for them if I could. I wonder if I could raffle them... no, I think the health codes still apply. How can I increase sales?"

Whilma piped up, "Brenda would share in our baked vegetarian and organic banquet. I KNOW she likes to eat pussy; she's had mine often enough. If that's still not enough, how about we add some fresh baked carrots?"

"Is that what those green ferns are hanging between your legs? They must be in your asses. Is that seven of them?"

"Yes, all seven. We'll let you remove those too. I told them how much you like ass. We'll, ummmm, even let you finger all seven of us there. Well, four of seven? And YOU can fill our holes with your... meats. Deal?"

"Not yet. There must be a way to ....ahhh maybe if we can use your bodies to advertise until we close. Yes, that's it. Signs on all your bodies posed so they bring in customers. We can figure it out."

"Not until closing! How about one hour and we have a deal?"

"Not long enough. I need enough time so people can call friends to come see the sale too. Two hours minimum!"

"Agreed!" We shook on the deal and began brainstorming. "How about we put Bill in the front window with a sign for hot sausage?"

Bill said "I'll need a stool and some fluffing if you want me to stay stiff for two hours!" Brenda volunteered to help fluff him, IN THE WINDOW.

Bob offered, "Let's put Gary outside the store, rolling back and fort with two signs. One on his chest saying "Volunteer inside for Meals on Wheels." The second on his casts with just a big yellow arrow curving up to point at his shlong. Ohh, and a copy of the chest sign on the back of the wheelchair. What about YOU, Al? What can we do with you? Hmmmm, how about a narrow sign for your chest saying 'Big Juicy Meatballs! Not me, see Bob.' You would walk all around the store and steer people to me. And that covers the men. I think you three should leave the carrots in you. The swaying greens will catch some eyes and interest. Now four raving beauties. How can I use you?"

I began to wonder if it were even possible to stuff enough meat in us to make all this worth our time and efforts for TWO fucking hours. "Why don't we stand one woman by the entry with a sign that says "Welcome. Don't forget to check our clams"? Dani can do it so she can meet even more of her rude neighbors and shut them up. But there's no part of her beautiful body I'd want to cover. Let's put the sign on a stick so it would be above her head and let her beauty shine."

"Yes! Jill could be at the checkout counter with a placard that says 'did you find everything OK?' The double meaning isn't too obvious. Maybe the back of it asks about your high margin items, 'tacos, cookies, milk, cream pies?' Too much? Nah!"

"Al, how about we put Sue inside the last display case? I just cleaned it and people will have to walk past the full cases to see her. No, her ass is far too tiny for what I want to push. Let's put Whilma in there, curled up on her side with her curvy ass nearly against the glass so folks can really see it. I want to push my new Kobe Big Mac using her big beautiful buns as my burger buns. With her knees curved away, I can use her ass cheeks and thighs to build my super burger. Crisp lettuce under a fat 1/3 lb. Kobe patty (half cooked for display and reusability), slice of sharp cheese, two thin organic tomatoes, topped with kosher pickle slices. We won't offer the 'special sauce'. $9.99 for the organic Super Big Mac, $15.99 for the demo model! I bet we sell a lot of demo meat. I'll even make a show, while the patty is cooking, of wiping her ass, holes and thighs with alcohol swabs before I build the next floor model. It's probably best to remove her carrot though the extra green would look nice, but not in this case. I think I'll put a little sign by her tits, 'Don't forget your milkshake!' Ouuuuu, I'm liking this. Oh, I forgot the seeded buns... a little warm butter rubbed on her cheeks will hold the sesame seeds on her buns. One more sign just for the FDA might say 'While sanitized for your protection, floor model food may not be consumed.' " He took a close-up photo of her ass so he could later make it into an oversized poster to leave up long after our two hour stint was over.

"OK, Bob, just Sue left. Maybe we can use her thick labia to form an organic, veggie sandwich or taco? We'd have to brace her so she could lay on her side with a knee up and wide open so everyone could analyze her pussy, I mean your sandwich! That butter trick will keep poppy or sesame seeds on her large lips. Let's use a large spinach leaf, or two as a holder for layers of tomato slices, soy cheese and sprouts. After folding the leaf around the layers, we can slip it in her tempting trough as a unit. We can leave the carrot in her and spread some of the greens under her other lip. It should look attractive if anyone can take theirs eyes off my wife's perfect pussy. Since she'll be accessible, there should be some hand sanitizer by her. I'm sure someone will stick a finger in her to 'check' the contents and her sauce. Hmmm, can you charge for that? If we shave her labia and frame a photo so her clit doesn't show, you can get away with a poster of her 'Natural Sandwich' and leave it up all year."

"I don't think I can charge for poking your wife. That would probably be some kind of Vice crime. So, which of MY delicacies needs to come out now? Obviously Sue's yam and... Whilma's carrot. Let's get Gary's carrot too since it isn't helping anyone. Brenda, would you boil some water? Thanks, love." Gary shifted forward and pulled his out as soon as Bob asked for it. Brenda made the signs while Whilma bent over for Bob - over a chair near the entrance where anyone could watch. He twisted and pulled, but had to dip into her wet oven and lube the hole. When it still wouldn't loosen, he used his tongue and fingers to get inside her and pry while biting the greens and pulling. As soon as the carrot appeared, it easily shot out of her ass and knocked him on his. Her butt hole slowly closed, so he rushed his tongue inside with a finger to hold it open. Brenda took the musky root from him and dropped it into the briskly boiling water with Gary's. She returned to catch Bob deeply licking her anus and her labia. "Honey, take my apron off so it stays clean. I have to fuck this pretty ass real soon. She and Bill are the only one's we can fuck and eat. Let's take her spud out now so I can get in her pussy first. Brenda, why don't YOU dig into her pussy for the spud while I keep two fingers in her ass? I can help you push it out from back here." Her big tits had a slow pendulum look as they swung heavily with her shifting. The thick potato moved freely, but took some work to get it out. It cracked and slipped before Brenda trapped it with a finger from each hand. Bob pushed from behind and Whilma's fat labia stretched and gaped open enough for the spud to stagger out. I'd imagined they would slide out easier than that. Brenda held it high to a scattering of applause. She smelled and licked a finger, giving Bob the other one. Then she sniffed around the spud and licked it in two spots before taking a big bite of the lukewarm veggie. The customers gasped. She passed it to Bob and he did the same sniffing before he too took a big bite. Bob said, "There's a line where the sweet scent shifts a little. I bet that's where the cop's juice went. The spud is delicious and savory. I wouldn't mind a little more sauce." Brenda dipped a finger in Whilma and swept for more juice. Since the spud had apparently absorbed nearly all her juice, Brenda volunteered that she would have to make her cum. "I can help with that." said Bob. He looked around and saw no kids so he replaced his two fingers with the head of his cock. Brenda had two fingers in their block party mate and one circling her clit. As her three fingers worked on Whilma and her husband pushed his ten-incher fully into Whilma, she lapped the trapped woman's cunt. Bob pounded her anus harder and she began to gasp. Bill was about to stuff her face with his cock, but remembered he had to keep it stiff for two hours so he backed away frustrated.