Susan's Sales Meeting

And not to report it...or tell me, your husband! You knew better than that! At the conference, Natalie knew what was going on in your room. She tried to stop me from going there."

"Chris, no! Please believe me! She may have seen him go in, but had no idea of...what happened. Most people are afraid of Helmut; he really would pitch a fit if any of the company rules are flaunted. As to his e mail...it was just a hand job I swear..., please believe me! Helmut is a nut case, he can't admit failure! That's one of the reasons we had to get rid of him. He turns a project to shit and pretends he saved it from plunging deeper into the red. I've told you the truth, so help me god!" I diddled him with my hand, it was disgusting....I was scared...terrified."

"I don't know Susan... if you were so frightened and scared why didn't you report him? I mean he was dangerous. Certainly you had to realize if he didn't get what he wanted that time because of your period or whatever, and then he would try again. You were upset, sick and vomiting Saturday night before you left? Were you afraid he might try something? I mean if so... you allowed it to happen. You could have put a stop to it sooner, but you didn't.

Oh Chris I am so sorry, yes I know I should have. Even more so after the first time. I didn't want to cause a problem for the company and I thought I could handle him. He was getting fired because he was incompetent. In my head, I didn't want Abramson to think I wanted him fired out of revenge. I was terribly wrong and I am so sorry I caused all this pain myself. I will have to live with my actions...and inactions for the rest of my life. For that I am so sorry and please give me a chance, I love you and only you. I can't bear to think I could loose you or the kids

Well, I, for one, certainly need time. I'm struggling to understand.

The thing that helps me is that I do think your reaction when I came in the door was real. Or you deserve a fucking Oscar for talent I didn't know you had. You're.... you're a modest woman, and you'd never run naked down the stairs like that, especially in front of your co-workers. Never!

I don't know. Let's give us some time. No hurry for decisions just now."

This was a bit disingenuous of me. Wifey is very quick witted, which is one of the reasons I love being with her. She had time to work out her best argument, and I wasn't going to get anything out of her she didn't want to tell me. Part of me wondered if her reaction to seeing me that night was just the result of really quick thinking. Since he was leaving the company, he was disposable. It might have been casual sex, but if her marriage was threatened, she'd throw him under a bus in a heartbeat! Or do the same thing if it was under duress. The deed did not prove the motive!

In my work I often research historic properties, some changes in the buildings you can see looking at the stone work. If there was a pent roof along here...a doorway there, you can see traces of it. To do a good job, you have to go back to contemporary sources, newspapers, estate inventories, paintings and old photographs, to see what was there and may now be gone without leaving a trace. I had her computer. If her work output was as good as she says, the promotions were earned at her desk, not on her back. If the direction came from others, consultants and such, then maybe she had less of a role. Research her work product! It was late, work for another day.

The lawyer was good, I thought. She felt the wife had a clear case of sexual harassment and rape. The wife's story of Sunday night was that Helmut knocked on her door pushed his way in and assaulted her. The lawyer also said that it would be better for the lawsuit if we stayed married. I asked for a finder's fee if we introduced her to others with a similar situation within Great Gherkin Industries. We had a deal. Susan asked her about marriage counseling. Her answer and parting advice surprised me.

"Not my expertise but let me tell you a story. My parents were in the boat people exodus from Cambodia. They suffered literally unspeakable horror. They never talk about it to this day. While not nearly as bad as them, you two have also suffered a trauma. This is quite likely the worst thing that has happened to either of you in your lifetime. You should understand you're both sitting here as victims, you've both been harmed. Susan was raped; the two of you are one in marriage, so Chris was raped as well. Counseling is good for some people, talk it to death, but my best advice is to try what worked for my folks.

Return to the appearance of normalcy. Do with one another what you have always done. If you have date night on Friday, then you have date night this Friday. If it's sex during thunderstorms, and there is a thunder storm, sex it will be.

Don't talk about it unless you must, and then not in the house or car. Pick a place which you agree is the only place it can be mentioned. There and nowhere else! A park bench, by the telephone pole up the street, wherever. Susan has vowed it will never happen again, you both say you want to save the marriage. So! Keep to your routines and rhythms of life. Whatever's happening inside, put it in a box and screw the lid shut. Maintain the façade and it will become the truth.

And Susan? I do think you have some issues you may need help with...I have a name of a therapist you should see, or some other one of your choosing. Also you need the right sort of work to keep you occupied. Here is the name of a pastor who runs free English for non-native speaker classes. You're going to volunteer. And this woman," handing her another card, "she runs a soup kitchen. It's hard, hot work, and she always needs help. You are to do a minimum thirty hours, preferable more, of volunteer work a week helping people less fortunate than yourself.

Chris, you are to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, 12 hours a week. I want you both working fifty hours a week and more. If you come home tired from helping those with more problems than you have, you'll feel better, sleep better and brood less."

Trying to be normal was a problem. I kept seeing Helmut fucking her. Finely I did her doggie style, head down, face covered, with her ass in the air. That worked. I could get hard and take pleasure. For months the bile would come up in my throat, and I would swallow it to keep the peace.

The prescription to throw ourselves into work provided me the time alone to research her job history. Two days after the meeting with the lawyer, she was sitting in on English classes as a second language given by two experienced volunteer instructors, and I was examining the huge amount of data on the flash drive.

It was work, but I printed up her presentation, and went through it word for word. In essence it was Marketing Analytics. Identify your market, and then use the internet to reach them through their internet searches. So for example, people who cater large weddings. They are the market for fresh and frozen prepared snack items. She had put together a product line of these sorts of munchies mostly from other ingredients that Gherkin already used, and then researched what else these catering customers were also concerned with, and might search. For example, if someone had searched the key words, "food safety, catering", or "food safety off site." Or table top steam tables, or portable ovens, the list went on and on. People who used these words in internet searches at some point would see Gherkin advertisements tailored to them showing up on their computer.

Of course they worked with an ad agency to handle the placement of the ads and record and classify the responses. The pilot project was working very well, sales were rising rapidly, 10-15% per month, in a business where 5% per year was considered great!

Add to it emails requesting her attention and help on their product lines, meeting with key clients. They were flying clients in to meet with her! Marketing managers arguing who had the greatest need for her help, all that convinced me her successes were the result of her talent and hard work. Not even a hint of sexual interest from anyone, except Helmut. She clearly earned her promotions, no indication of wanton lust on her part, nothing that contradicted her story. So to go forward, I only had to accept what happened with Helmut, but other than that...made me think of the old joke, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

A few days later we got an anonymous e-mail with pictures and information about Helmut's injuries. Testicles damaged, one removed, contusion and torn skin on the anus, coccyx fractured, torn ligament in the knee, three broken fingers, six broken ribs, three teeth broken, two loosened. Jaw broken in two places, fractured eye socket, crushed nose, torn ear and nostril, concussion, sever bruising on the head and face. Contusions on the chest and side. We looked over the pictures together. He was unrecognizable.

"Chris, shouldn't we do this by the lamp post?"

"These pictures were taken later, besides the light is better in here.

Damn, girl! You beat the shit out of him! Look at that poor bastard. No wonder you heel's are bruised!"

"I have to admit, its justice! My dad broke his tail bone once, that hurts like hell...He was miserable, got addicted to pain killers and all."

I wondered about the coincidence, but one day after seeing the lawyer, Boss Swede called to ask for a meeting with us and our lawyer, if we wished, but in any case, he simply wanted to lay-out a proposed settlement and would provide a copy it in writing as well. Certainly he expected that nothing would be signed until her lawyer looked it over. He mentioned that, Helmut was fired outright with no severance pay. They had been planning to dump him at the end of the month; so they had all of the paper work prepared, they just moved it up a week.

Our lawyer couldn't be there but the meeting would be in her office and her colleague would be.

Boss Swede's offer was, in short:

Any likely settlement would bankrupt the company. We were welcome to look at their books; copies of the financial reports were in the back of the binder. Of course Susan knew that, but she hadn't seen the proof of it. Susan's internet marketing strategy looked really good, and the turnaround was beginning. The sales people loved it, began using it and the customers liked it as well. He wanted her to continue to work for them. Sign a three year contract with:

$40,000 bonus for work already done this year to date, a $100,000 signing bonus up front for a two year contract.

Salary equal to the present one, plus a 15% commission on all sales of the products she introduced or modified the first year with residuals for contract extensions of 10% in year two and 5% in year three.

That was the big picture, a lot of details as well. Our lawyer didn't know much about employment contracts and recommended somebody else to look it over.

They checked, the company was indeed in financial trouble, and recommended she get some company stock instead of a cash bonus. It would cut our tax bill and grow in value In view of the importance of the wife's contribution to the company, she should insist on an ownership position in the company.

After some back and forth, they caved in: no signing bonuses, but get a 10% ownership stake in the company vested in one year, and more stock in place of bonuses in years two and three.

Susan told them we had to think about it and would get back to them in a couple of days. On the way home she said she wanted to talk to me. We put the kids to bed and went into the kitchen. We each had a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table across from each other.

Chris I wanted the talk to you privately first about the offer on the table. It is a great offer but I will gladly decline and look elsewhere if you prefer. Our marriage is on fragile ground right now and it is more important to me than either the job or the company. I will decline if you want me too. I am sure they would be willing to give me a great recommendation letter. I'm not even sure I want or can go back after what has happened. Don't get me wrong, I am confident I have the solution to the company's financial problems but...

"Sue Thanks for putting that on the table; it wasn't easy. You've proved yourself and your talent. You've a lot invested in the company despite the short time you've been there. It means a lot to me that you are willing to give that up for our marriage. "

"Chris I told you. I love you alone! I will do what ever I have to .... To make it right...no, that's wrong. I can't change the past. I want you and the children more that a career. That's what all this has taught me."

"Let it rest for now, come to bed...sleep on it. There's no need for a hasty decision.

For the first time since seeing her that night, we slept in the same bed. Of all the intimacies of marriage, I realized that gesture, habit, really, is what I missed the most. I lay awake for a long time, listening to her slumber, feeling her warmth. I wanted the Susan back, the one who sang to herself around the house, whose laughter at the dinner table was so infectious. She genuinely wanted my happiness. But my happiness came from her's. There was no one without the other.

Over coffee the next morning, with the kids out the door we talked.

"I was up most of the night. If you want to take this offer... its OK with me. It's your dream and you earned it based on what I know. Be a shame not to see it through. It hurts me knowing what you went through, but you're different from the experience. History is not going to repeat itself, and if it does...the outcome will be different.

In business vs. wife and mother, we had the balance about right, except for the last couple of months. If your job is going to require sixty hour weeks, you need to hire some staff to help. Make that a final negotiation point?

They agreed, she signed.

I think we realized that Great Gherkin was also a victim.

Going back showed she had a set of brass balls, as the saying goes. How many managers could accept that all of the employees had pictures of her naked? She was worried, I told her:

"What the hell, it's not much different than being on a nude beach."

"I've never been to one, have you?"

"No, but it's something different to look forward to, isn't it? While we're still young enough to be decorative with our cloths off."

She decided to ignore the events of that night. Not mention or discuss it with her colleagues or employees. If it came up, she simply cut off anyone who tried to bring it up. One idiot mentioned how nice her tits looked in the video! She slapped him leaving a mark that was still there the next day, and told him that was sexual harassment. If he was really that stupid, he should reconsider his employment with the company before others did it for him. Word got out, and that was the end of it.

Well it all worked for us. The pain didn't just disappear of course, but it slowly, steadily receded. We never did go to counseling. Like the lawyer suggested, we both accepted what had happened and put it aside. She realized how close she came to losing her family, made a real effort to please me, and she was happy with her life. I accepted she made a mistake, we both paid the price.

You might wonder what price she paid? Well, she lost my unquestioning trust in her for a real long time, and she was the cause of a hell of a lot of pain and anguish. Guilt like that does not sit lightly. Our marriage survived the blow, but another one would kill it, we both knew that. And having nearly ended our relationship, we now understood its fragility, and recommitted to each other. It was better than before because we understood what we had. The kids were in blissful ignorance of the whole deal, so life is good!

Isn't that the point of it all?

In so many of these stories I've read, at the moment when the spouse finds out about the infidelity, the other spouse says "Honey, it's just sex," "Honey I only love you," "I love you both," "Honey, I'm leaving you." My Susan's actions said "Honey I hate this son of a bitch more than you do!"

Her attack on Helmut was what convinced me that she was a victim. She knew then and knows now that she made a number of mistakes. She'll not repeat them. Six months to the day after that night, she went off the pill, and now we're expecting our third child!

Two years later the company's on a sound footing, and she got more shares instead of her bonus, at this point she has a 15% share of the business, and that ownership is worth a hell of a lot more than the cash bonus she gave up.

So Helmut was a bad thing that happened, caused us a lot of pain and heart ache, but in the end, our marriage is stronger for it.