Sweet Eternal Torment Ch. 01-02

To him she was one of life's few unexpected wonders. How had he lived without her in the past? He had all but given up the idea of finding the woman he needed. The chances had been miniscule from the beginning and the long years had worn away his expectations, leaving barren land in their wake. Hope had been lost and in this one night everything had changed because of her.

'Wasted time? We don't have expiry dates you know. Time is one thing we have plenty of. Besides, I don't think I want to live with you... There's no need to do that.' She felt a subtle change in his demeanour upon her refusal. –A change not dissimilar to the onset of disappointment. 'And in no way am I yours.' She added firmly.

'We can still perish, Catsy. I won't take no for an answer –I want you here.'

'But— Wait. If you're an immortal... How old are you?'

Her sudden interest in knowing something more about him made his lips quirk. Sure, she had asked her fair share of personal questions during the past month that he had acted as her 'Doctor' but now they meant far more. He found himself wanting to intrigue her. 'If I remember correctly the number will be two-hundred in four more years.' He stated his answer in a tone that held no inflection. To his satisfaction, her mouth opened in surprise.

'You're that old?'

Astounding her, he mused, could be a newfound entertainment for him. She truly had no idea what she had gotten herself into by setting her sights on him of all people. 'Yes I am that old. Is that okay?'

It wasn't okay but not for the reasons he would have supposed. The fact that he was several times her age was hardly blink-worthy. His age in comparison to hers only made him more mysterious to her inquisitive mind. The real concern to her eyes was the quality of the long life he had lived up until now. What with enduring such a long existence fraught with pain, boredom and the everlasting cold that plagued their kind relentlessly—Scott had to have gone mad along the way somewhere. Catsy knew she wouldn't have coped had it been her. She was only just scraping by already. It was no wonder he felt as if time had been wasted. The real question was; how far was she willing to indulge someone so potentially dangerous?

When tears welled in her eyes at thinking of his past she was thankful the room was so dim. The loneliness in him was a palpable thing. 'No, your age doesn't bother me but—' She wasn't sure how she could feel two such conflicting responses while near him. On one hand she feared him and bucked under his influence, and on the other she wanted to submit to his wishes. '—but you certainly do bother me all on your own.' She mentally cursed. She couldn't bring herself to say a kind word to him. –Even after that.

'Why? You can't have everything your way and you did come here.'

Taking up the opportunity, she rounded on him, 'because you're high-handed and already showing signs of being possessive without any good reason to be. Hell, that's after the idea has been in your head less than an hour! It would be unbearable to be in such close proximity to you all of the time. Imagine what you'll turn into,'

'Unbearable, huh?' He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed the red marks on his wrists where the ropes had been.

'Well... you know I don't mean unbearable exactly. I just mean that I probably wouldn't like it. –Not only that but there's a good possibility that you'd end up hating it too.' She sat up and kept track of Scott lurking in the shadows beyond the bed. He was pacing and though she couldn't be sure, she thought she could hear the faint sound of him grinding his back teeth.

'Yes. –Of course. Each of us is used to having our own space. I would drive you insane.' He had been rubbing the back of his neck but now he stopped and opened the door for her to leave. 'You can leave. If you want to see me or talk about anything, management can give you a copy of my weekly schedule.'

She finished putting her underwear back on and faced him, sitting back on the edge of the bed. 'And if you want to see me?'

'I'll find you.'

Her reply to the idea had hurt him. It was more than half obvious that it had, but he had to know that didn't mean she was opposed to being around him –not completely. He had to know. Except she was getting the inkling he was blinded to the fact by his own self-doubt. 'I'm sure you will. I can start spending more time in my quarters if you want. It'll make it easier for you to get to me when you need me.' She offered, standing. Her considerate proposal had him looking dumbfounded.

'I don't get why you'd—' He paused mid-sentence before going on with a different tack, 'Catsy, I don't want your pity.'

'It's not so much pity as it is an 'understanding'. I intend on being as accommodating as I can.'

'It's pity.' He maintained. She couldn't see his face due to the thick darkness that covered the edges of the room. The lamp on his bedside table didn't permeate the room much outside of a three-metre radius. It left over half the room blanketed by shadows. Therein lay the parallel to their short relationship thus far. She was always in the light- in plain sight for him to see, while he was forever veiled in the unknown dark. In truth, she was actually far more transparent to his eyes than she was yet aware of. As the knowledge would only make her feel more vulnerable to him he thought it wise to keep that information hidden for the moment.

'Of course, yes, part of it is. I won't deny that.' She also had to admit that she couldn't begin to understand what sorts of things he had been through in his life. Every estimate she made was based on her own experiences and she knew already that she was a very different person to him. For starters, he was a lot more patient and tolerant than she could ever be but she wasn't about to voice what she'd noticed out loud. That would be admitting she was going on assumptions alone and may well be wrong. –Being wrong was something she despised. 'If you have been through even a fraction of what I think you must have; growing up and living here at the centre, then it would be cruel and callous of me to deny what little I can do to help you. Not that I'm being selfless in all of this, mind you. I'm being quite selfish as well.'

'Oh yes?' His sceptical tone made her smile as she rounded the bed towards him and the bedroom door. She was pleased that she could lessen his foul mood so quickly and without much effort.

'Well I know you get mighty busy around here. And while I understand your need for uh... companionship, I know that isn't enough to make me worthwhile company for you on any other level. I'm sure I'd be a complete bore! I know how you tried to avoid me where possible while you were posing as a Doctor. Fortunately enough for you, I could never be a clingy woman so I have that going for me.' She chuckled. What she was talking about was only one of many issues to her mind. The thought of spending a lot of time with this man in the future was giving her a prickly, wary premonition of what was to come.

Scott didn't know what to say to that. She really didn't know? He had certainly tried to deny his attraction, which was why he'd stayed away where possible, but he had looked forward to their run-ins all the same. He wasn't sure if he was thankful or irked that she still hadn't seen through his actions to how much he prized the time he spent with her. With most other people he would scarcely make eye contact let alone respond to what they were saying. He only dealt with those around him in the most necessary ways and to keep himself occupied. The idea of her or anyone else being clingy was yet another alien concept. It was ironic to his mind that he now sensed that she'd rather not be around him.

But she was increasingly hiding parts of herself away from him somehow. She was foggy to him; shrouded in a protective mist. How was that possible? He could read most people with flawless accuracy.

Before continuing on out of the doorway and into the hall she paused and turned to him. Leaning up on the tips of her toes she kissed him lightly. His arms closed and tightened like vices around her when she made to pull away. His eyes closed on a sigh as though he was a dehydrated man getting relief from the summer sun. His hunger was already fast replenishing itself. He kissed her with a great deal more passion than she had bestowed upon him with her kiss. The new rampant thudding beat of her heart satisfied him—made him feel proud that he could summon it with a mere kiss.

'Stay.' He asked firmly. He hadn't meant it to sound like an order but in that instant it had seemed vital that she not leave him tonight. He knew the chances of being able to get back to sleep without her beside him were minimal. He would have regretted not trying to keep her close.

'Haven't you had enough for one night?'

'No. I don't think that's possible.' She felt daft for asking what now seemed like a rhetorical question. The difficulty came in reacting to such an emphatic answer. She found herself unable to take it lightly. Her eyes had grown as used to the dimness as they were going to get but Scott's expression was inscrutable and it told her nothing. Instead of being a casual statement it was beginning to come off as vaguely threatening. It was a promise. He wouldn't be letting her avoid him as was her wont to do.

When she didn't reply straightaway he spoke again, 'does that bother you...?'

'Does what bother me?' She'd been sidetracked by the intent behind his words.

'–How much—and how often—I want you. Catsy, I want you to stay with me tonight.' He gripped her arm as he said the words. She flinched under his touch. What he'd said must have done more damage to her than what was outwardly visible because now she seemed jumpy. Half turning, she put her free hand on the door handle to pull it closed behind her. There was a not-so-subtle message contained in the way he tightened his hold on her rather than releasing her. 'How will you get used to me if you start running away every time I pull you close?'

'You're over-dramatising this Dr. Naughton.' His lips kicked up at the ends at what she had called him. He allowed her to pull her arm away.

'You still insist upon calling me by such a formal title after sleeping with me? I thought you were over it.'

'I don't know what gave you that idea. I haven't known you long enough to be so relaxed with you.'

'You were more than happy to call out my first name when you came apart in my arms, love.' He smirked at how profusely she blushed. Catsy obviously didn't recall what she had said at the time but he wasn't likely to forget. That moment was forever carved vividly into memory. After all, he had never experienced anything quite like it in his life. –Seeing and feeling this most precious woman as she found the ultimate pleasure and gave herself so fully to him. Feeling that only once simply wasn't enough. And next time he wanted to feel her shatter several times before he surrendered himself. His eyes glazed. The very idea of it made his blood pound as he recalled the addictiveness of it all. He proceeded to grimace at how early on in the game he had been snared. In the past he'd been cautioned on how immortals could so easily become obsessed with the physical side of their existence once it was unearthed. Naturally, Scott had been in denial about being susceptible to the same pitfalls as his lower-rated comrades.

But he was no idiot. He could already view himself objectively and he knew the addiction had set in, even though the obsession side of things hadn't assailed him. Not yet—but if he could help it, he wouldn't ever let that happen.

'Oh, uh—I didn't mean to... Sorry Dr. Naughton but it is getting late and I still need to shower. If I stayed here I don't think I'd be getting much sleep at all.' Catsy didn't stay for any longer than the time it took for him to incline his head stiffly. With a flourish, she left.

Left to her own devices, Catsy gave in to the tears when the water hit her. A shower was precisely what she had needed to bring her back down to earth and now that she was back, she was awake to the devastation Scott would be sure to reap upon her ordered life. The thought of him carrying out a relentless pursuit of her; terrified her. Everything that was her would be lost to him, she just knew it. And it was all her fault. She never should have done something that invited such danger. The truth of it was exposed now that Scott wasn't around to bog down her thoughts. The revealing light of hindsight and rational thought was illuminating the horror of reality quite nicely.

Catsy's entire life would be different from here on in regardless of the different perspectives she tried. –All seemed hopeless. Perhaps she was exaggerating the extent of her dire circumstances but it didn't feel that way; not to her. Emotionally she was a wreck. Lately she had been noticing with increasing clarity that she could trust no one. Having to add just one more person to the list of people who would take every opportunity to use her to their own ends would be the last straw. The worst part was that this man could use her in a wholly new way she had never been used in before.

What was she supposed to do about that? The truth was; she could do nothing because she could be forced against her will in the instance of her refusal to comply. The best she could hope to do would be to accept her fate with passable grace. –She just wasn't sure who she would turn into if she did.