Sweet Talk Ch. 04

Chapter 4

He was gone. Had he even waited to see if she would say yes? Why should he, it was obvious that she would be there no matter what time he set. After all, he was only treating her like the bimbo she had wanted to become. She was just relieved he would be on tomorrow, although she wished they could spend more time chatting – it was Sunday after all, and she couldn't get enough of his hypnosis. Now she was alone and suddenly her life felt empty.

Lily Anna decided to go to bed. It had been a long and exhausting day – filled with pleasure. It was hard for her not to feel abandoned knowing he wouldn't be online tomorrow morning. She wanted the night to pass so that they could play some more. As she headed off to the bedroom she thought about all the pleasure he had given her that day. She wanted to feel that arousal again, just to reassure her that those powerful pleasures were not about to be lost to her. She needed them now. Her fingers descended towards her pussy to stroke it. They played with her outer lips and dipped inside the hot warmth radiating from her core. She went and pulled on her pyjamas and her hand caught one of her breasts. She held it feeling its weight, pulling at it, pinching her nipple slightly to tease herself. It was such a sweet sensation that gave an echo of what she had felt before. She headed into the bathroom as her other hand slipped beneath the elastic. She could feel the wide bare skin of her smooth mound and she scratched lightly at her clit, looking at herself in the mirror. She wanted to feel horny again, and just going to bed felt such an anticlimax. She stared at herself and thought about the way he had manipulated her and made her decisions and how turned on she had been by it. Her hand picked up more urgency as she determined to raise her level of excitement further.

Returning to the bedroom, Lily Anna sat on the end of the bed opposite the mirror. Her hand was buried beneath her pyjamas and she was struggling to resurrect the powerful feelings that had overwhelmed her earlier that day. Yet the more she tried to reach her goal, the more difficult it seemed for her to achieve. She pulled at her pyjama bottoms and sat staring at her naked pussy with her fingers urgently working at her clit. Every time she saw herslf shaved down there, she felt exposed, her wetness glazing her pussy lips, the dull enticing ache inside. Ooh, she wanted to cum, just once more before she slept.

Lying on the bed, Lily Anna's hands were kneading her breasts. She stared up at the ceiling trying to summon erotic fantasies, yet somehow she could not be swept along by them, transported to a place where she was able to stop holding herself back. She felt so stupid just lying there fingering herself and getting nowhere. Her frustration sobbed its way out of her as she kept trying to tell herself to give up and go to sleep. Yet she couldn't tear herself away from her desperate desire to feel that release just one more time. She felt stupid for not being able to reach orgasm, and even more stupid at not being able to give up and go to sleep. She wondered what people would think if they saw her, all sweaty, lying naked on her bed, legs spread and furiously working her pussy and yet elusively unable to cum. Yet as this thought floated through her mind, it brought a sudden intensity to her arousal. Instinctively she focused upon her lack of self-control and imagined the room filled with friends and colleagues stabding over her, watching her demeaning performance. The less control she had, the greater their shocked disapproval, the faster the rush towards orgasm became. Lily Anna lay on her back, her fingers working furiously between her legs, no longer trying to cum but desperately in need to feel her impotence. Once again as she tried to reach that pinnacle, it illusively retreated. She felt dumb – whoever heard of someone wanting to cum but not being able to do so. She was angry with herself, and she felt desperate. She needed another trance, she needed this hypnotist to make her cum. This time she started to think of how she had relinquished control to him and how he pushed her and the more he pushed, the more she conceded. He must imagine her as an inexperienced teenager, someone just discovering sex, always wanting more; and this time she came. Not one of the best, but at last she felt the peak come and pass as she lay on her stomach on the bed and moaned into the counterpane.

Lily Anna was exhausted from her efforts and having finally achieved her aim, she closed her eyes. Suddenly she felt transported to a warm summers day. She could see the branches of trees whispering overhead as they rocked and made her drowsy. The sunshine fractured through their silhouetted branches. She could feel the warmth of the sunshine caressing her face. The image seemed far too real to be a dream. She had been here before, but she couldn't quite capture the memory. She could feel the support of a hammock enveloping her, rocking her slowly to the left and then to the right. Finally she remembered the visualisation, but at that same moment she heard the rustling of leaves and started to relax; her realization of what was happening had arrived too late. As she drifted into her dreamy state she started whispering through her mantra of commands, fastidiously allowing each to sink into her mind before moving on to the next. Slowly she felt each command was being seared into her brain, the boundary between them and her own thoughts obscuring.

It was one of the most fitful, erotic nights Lily Anna had ever spent in her bed. Her dreams were filled with hypnosis and erotic suggestions. She dreamed of herself naked surrounded by people she did not know; all of them fully clothed. She was fingering herself uncontrollably and they were chatting and ignoring her, as if this was all natural, as if she was of no consequence. When they did acknowledge her, they took pity on her, patting her head and calling her a good girl. The words circled around in her head. Twice during her sleep she came as her fingers stroked her pussy and squeezed her breasts.

The next morning was bright and Lily Anna awoke to find herself tangled in the covers, two fingers swallowed in her pussy with the taste of her own juices on her lips. Sometime in the night she had pulled the bedcovers over her naked body. She smiled at the thought that she had slept naked, it was not something she would normally do. There was a kind of naughty pleasure that made her tingle as she watched herself and how she was changing as a result of this hypnosis. She felt calmer this morning and wandered from room to room thinking about how she was going to spend her day until she got another chance to chat with the author online. She had several hours to get some housework done, and the knowledge that she would be hypnotised again later that day gave her a thrill that energised her as she worked. Lily Anna slipped into her pyjamas before wandering around the flat. It did not feel unnatural to her not to get fully dressed, perhaps as she had slept naked, putting any clothes on seemed enough.

She didn't seem to register as she worked that her hand drifted either to her chest and squeezed her breasts, or down towards her pussy. Her hand kept casually tugging at her pyjama bottoms, as if they weren't on quite right. Each little tug revealed a little more of her panties as she walked about the kitchen. As she fixed herself some breakfast, her hand would brush lightly yet purposefully against her unprotected breasts. It felt different, good.

Lily Anna went back into the living room and before she sat on the couch, she decided her pyjama bottoms were too distracting and she yanked them down to her ankles before kicking them across the room. She sank into the couch thinking she would watch some TV while she ate. Flicking through the channels, Lily Anna sat with her legs crossed, but after a while she uncrossed them, and sat with her knees pressed together. Little by little, the gap between her knees opened as she absent-mindedly surfed. Lily Anna decided there was nothing worth watching and switched off the TV. She gently started stroking her pussy through her panties with one hand while she was eating with the other. Her hand moved to stroke her breasts also, but they were constricted by her shirt, so in one swift motion she pulled it over her head and sent it flying across the room. Her breasts felt the chill of the air and her hand stroked them to keep them warm. She felt the pull as the skin stretched towards her active fingers. It was a nice sensation that absorbed her concentration, the feel of her fingers sliding around her mounds, the gentle warm touch against exposed flesh. Next Lily Anna started yanking at her panties, kicking them to the floor in a pile with her pyjama bottoms. Her bald pussy came into view inviting her hand down and around the ridge between her exposed thighs. Her deft fingers started to toy with her opening and her head tilted against the back of the couch. She shifted her weight to bring her thighs forward. Her other hand rose up kneading her breasts. Thoughts resurfaced from last night of wanting to feel the need to cum. It felt so good to feel this way. Her arousal was growing as she gave in to her need for this pleasure. She was sure she would cum soon.

Minutes passed, though, and Lily Anna's arousal kept growing as she pushed her fingers into all the spots that would usually get her off. Nothing happened. She pulled, pinched and twisted her nipples, but her mounting arousal failed to peak. She added fingers: first two, which was her usual, then three, feeling the tightness and pressure it caused at her opening, but still no release.

Finally, when she couldn't think of anything else, Lily Anna returned to what had worked last night. She concentrated upon how bad this had to look. Her clothes scattered all across the room, her legs splayed like some oversexed slut. The words came naturally, and yet should have felt shocking. Was this what she had wanted to become? She rebelled, she would lose her job and everyone's respect at this rate. She wasn't this pathetic. She had to stop now!

But those thoughts, instead of calming her down, now pushed her over the edge. Her body began to spasm. Pleasure began to flood through every nerve ending. She grunted in response to the flow of erotic charge sweeping her body. Then just as it seemed to end, she felt a dull ache grow that told her of her need to feel it again.

It was an undeniable urge that kept Lily Anna's fingers moving inside of her even after her orgasm. She had never before kept on fingering herself. It was a rush, such a weird sensation. Her fingers moved faster, even though her arousal was fading. No matter how hard, how fast, or where she touched, she could not cling on, her arousal drifting inexorably away from her. She was reaching out in a vain attempt to hold on to it, passion denied.

She had lost control. She didn't want to finger herself. She had to finger herself. This was too slutty. She wasn't like this. Tears welled up in her eyes as her arousal returned in full force. Why was she getting off on this? Again, the more ashamed, the more out of control, the more like a sex-crazed slut she felt the more her arousal grew, her horniness becoming that much stronger. Her orgasm this time was just as strong, if not stronger than before.

When she did finally cum, she pulled herself up from the couch. She did her best to ignore the ache she felt inside again. She loved to be horny. She loved to cum. Why was she denying herself? The thoughts streamed through her mind. How could she go to work tomorrow when she was behaving like this? How would she get her work done if she had to keep running off to the ladies' room every ten minutes to yank down her panties and feel the oozing juices slither over her active fingers? How long before people would notice her telltale aroma? The pit of her stomach sank through the floor.

It took every ounce of will Lily Anna possessed to pick up her clothes and put them back on. She suddenly didn't seem to like wearing anything, but she knew that was just her sex drive talking. If she didn't wear them, she would spend the entire day playing with her already sore pussy. To take her mind off her sex she started to tidy and clean the house. She wandered from room to room, wary of her mischievous hands. As she entered the bedroom, she saw herself in the mirror. The girl that looked back wasn't the girl she would see each morning as she got herself ready. This strange reflection had a wanton look about her, she was acutely aware of its sexuality. The body stood more erect, exentuating its curviness and the clothes succeeded in teasing rather than protecting. She could see the points of her nipples pulling at the material. Without a thought, Lily Anna pulled the shirt over her head to inspect them further. To the touch, Lily Anna could feel the wetness on her hands evaporating in the warmth radiating from her breasts. Lily Anna couldn't help but fondle them some. They were a perfect handful for her, and today they felt so sensitive, so firm.

Lily Anna pushed her thighs together, trying with all her might to deny the fire that burnt inside her. The movement made her notice that her panties were wet: from her current arousal or her previous cums that she hadn't bothered to clean up, she wasn't sure. Lily Anna bent at the waist, pulling her pyjama bottoms and panties down in one swift movement. As she glanced back into the mirror she could see her hot swollen pussy lips glistening with invitation. She could not find words to describe how much she needed to cum again, but she had to stop herself. In a huge effort of will she pulled her clothes back up and went over to the bed. Stripping off the wet sheet, Lily Anna put them into the washing machine and started the cycle. She looked at the clock, there were hours to go. Her mind wandered thinking about hypnosis and how electric it all felt. She could never imagine ever feeling this turned on. Her eyes had been opened to a new world, and she could not get enough of it. She knew she was captivated by the newness of it all. This desire felt just as overwhelming. She just wanted to cum so much. She couldn't help herself. She leaned back against the washing machine. The more she thought about limiting it, the more she wanted to just strip off and fuck her cunt all day long. The words running through her mind were so dirty, so slutty. She had never talked or even thought in this way before.

This author was changing her, and she wasn't sure if this was even a change she liked. If she couldn't even resist changes she didn't want, what would happen if... Hundreds of scary, degrading, and humiliating scenarios rushed through her mind, of being made to cum in public, of people laughing at her as she displayed her cunt, wet and wanting, her juices oozing down her legs, her cunt lips invitingly open, unable to close her knees or hide her lust. The word cunt circled around inside her head, as if unable to flee, and she felt trapped with it, and it drove her arousal to fever pitch the more she thought of herself as a cunt. She came, explosively; her knees buckled, and she fell. She could not catch herself as, without realising it, one hand had crept back inside her pyjamas and was locked in the ritual ministration of her pussy. The other hand squeezed her tit, mercilessly pulling and pinching at her little nubbin.

As she hit the floor, she took a bump on the head. She lay there a little dazed, more from her orgasm than the knock she had just had. She lay wondering what her co-workers would think if they could see her right now. The pain from her fall barely subsided before all Lily Anna wanted to do was slide her fingers back inside her hot snatch, to show them how turned on she felt by her desire wrenching restraint from her. She had to get moving, she had to get out of here, get her horniness under control. If she could just get out the door; it was just too easy to finger herself in the privacy of her home.

She seized the moment to throw on some clothes and stormed out of the house. The sun was bright and she shivered lightly as she felt the dampness from her manic efforts evaporate in the glare. Being out among other people definitely helped. It was not that her thoughts escaped from her pussy, but she could not bring herself to finger herself anywhere in public. The fact she was wearing her pants also helped – the less access the better. She went off to the mall and decided to spend the day shopping.

Out here, the world was normal, routine. She sat in the park and watched children playing, mums talking, couples wandering engrossed in each other. It was all so everyday and she felt relief to be back amongst it. The darker world that drove her into situations where she was visibly out of control, in which she craved displaying her need to others, that drove her legs apart…this world started to recede. She felt her pulse starting to slow, she could breathe a little more freely, she could rationalise. She knew she wanted to be part of this outside world, she wanted to make a success of her career; she wanted to be a mum and a home-maker; to have choices where she could decide what to do with her life. She wanted to have kids and ferry them to sleep overs and between activities; she wanted a husband to care for and who would care for her. She wanted security. All this represented to her success in life, and she wanted people to see her as successful. Who would envy her the humiliations she had fantasised over?

Yet somehow she had awoken a fire within her, one that consumed her. She was being eaten up from within. She had experienced something unnervingly more potent, a tempestuous energy that had rocked her, a turmoil that simultaneously threatened to choke her and make her explode in sexual energy. These people, she reflected, living out their normal lives could not even conceive of such consuming power, of forces once unleashed subjugating a person with wanton desires. For them life was safe, a ship drifting in a placid ocean of glassy blandness. Lily Anna sat and pondered about what their success was. Were they just successfully congratulating each other on escaping their own monster? Did they understand what they had denied themselves? By limiting the possibilities and feelings, restricting them to what became manageable, they could forego such immense fear and pleasure for feelings of security.

It was as if the two worlds, seemingly far apart, were locked in an intimate embrace within each of us. We sanitise our sexuality, confining it, never allowing our passion more than a castrated appeal when we allow ourselves to feel sexy: the prudish covering of the top-shelf magazines, sex on Sunday mornings, unspoken longing and missed opportunities. Little wonder that by comparison our orgasms seem so muted. Yet the sleeping giant within, once awakened, would never be denied. Lily Anna knew that she had opened a door when she had allowed herself to be hypnotised, a door that gave access to her monster within to step through and grasp her whole being. She craved these powerful feelings, the helplessness, the lack of control that would otherwise prevent her body being wracked by feelings so intense, so corrosively erotic that they would forever pollute her. She hated craving them, because a normal mum could not feel such intensity – it burned her, it carried her up into the skies, flying high and free towards the sun with wings of wax. She wanted normality, but she craved those feelings that made her more alive, charged her body with 1000 volts.

Lily Anna sat on the bench feeling her pussy on fire and the palpable struggle that raged between her desires. She felt safe in the open, reassured by experiences so routine they comforted her. Perhaps we limit the power of our sexuality because we are so exposed and vulnerable. Like lovers who, once spurned, cannot trust so easily again and so never allow themselves to let go. She caught herself looking at her watch, wary of the time not to miss her appointment. She knew that as she felt more safe, she also felt more frustrated, wishing her author was there making her slip her fingers into her unencumbered crack, forced by her own acquiescence into situations that erotically charged her, becoming lost in that world of sensation. She wandered through the park realising that while she looked like everyone else, as normal as they, she felt apart from them. A distance had crept in. She was leaving one world and heading towards another. She was not happy about that, she knew she was losing something – many things, but it was inevitable. Her monster could not be denied, and the more she struggled the more she wanted to give in.