Take It or Leave It

It is the opportunity that I have been waiting for. It is not that I did not get opportunities to be alone at home. But since both my parents worked out of home, I am never sure when they would decide to return home. That created a lot of excitement but I could never achieve the perfection which I wanted. That bothered me a lot. I also ended up doing much less than what I wanted to do. Mostly I finished early and remained alone for long, regretting all the time which I was wasting. But sometimes there were close calls and I barely managed to put things back in place.

I have been planning for today for quite some time. I knew my mother would be away for the day and return home only after a late dinner at a businesswomen's convention which she is attending today. The convention is at the other end of our city and she will not waste taxi fare even if she wanted to come home for some rest in between. My father is in another city today to attend a family wedding.

My preparation consisted of many small things which I have secreted away behind the undergarments in my wardrobe. I never left the wardrobe unlocked and kept the key always with me. Among my collection is a padded 36c size bra with matching black cotton panties. I have sewn another panty inside the new one and filled the space in-between with cotton at the right places to give me ample buttocks with the right curves. I have filled a pair of old socks with cotton and tied the two ends to form a ball. I have nipped off the extra portion of the knots and the two balls will serve as my breasts with knots doing the job of nipples. I believe better than cotton would be light small seeds like linseed. They give a shape which moves and jiggles better than cotton as we walk. May be, next time I will do that. I have also bought a black ready made blouse which fits me snugly. It is also a bit transparent so my bra outline will be seen. The saree which I want to wear today is a black silk one with a nice border. It is a pretty saree and I think I will look good in it. I have already noted where my mother has kept the saree and the black petticoat. I can take it out in no time. I should take care to put it back in the same way.

Though I am going to wear a saree, I do not like the idea having body hair. Last one week I have been secretly using wax to get rid of hair. As such I did not have much hair, but I had to struggle a little with my chest hair. Today I am quite proud of my clean midriff and smooth arms which will be visible despite the saree. I have even removed the hair around my thing! Last night I tucked myself between my legs and looked into the mirror. The mound looked nice and womanly. I felt good.

Just two days ago I had gone to a costumes company and taken things on hire saying I was participating in a college drama. The owner was quite helpful. In addition to a wig of short hair and a set of costume jewelry with clip on ear rings, he even gave me a pair of leather sandals with two inch heels.

I have taken stock of the cosmetics available in the house. I think I have everything that I might need. Last night I had steamed my face on the pretext that I was with a sore throat. I had done a home facial secretly late last night and I am sure my face is looking good. I even plucked my brow but that fact is now hidden by my specs. In a short while I will wear my contacts and my thin arched eyebrows will be fully visible. I must remember not to wear my contacts for the next one week.

I am sitting in our living room now. I am wearing my pajamas and long sleeved kurta. There are butterflies in my stomach as I look forward to the day. I can hear my mother getting ready. I don't know why she is taking so much time. The taxi has already come. She will be late if she doesn't hurry up. But I will not open my mouth. She may get angry and decide not to go at all.

Ok I think her coming into the living room now. I look up from my newspaper.

"Ok Suneil, I have kept food for you. Try to eat everything that is there. If you are going out lock up properly and leave the porch light on. Ok." she is smiling at me now.

"Yes mom. Have a nice meeting." I smile back at her.

Now I am going to walk with her and properly see her off.

She is wearing an expensive Dacca saree. I should try it someday! She also has a nice perfume on. Let me see if I can locate that one.

We have now reached the taxi. She is smiling once again at me as she gets in. I smile and wave out to her.

Ok that is it. I am all alone now. Whatever happens I am not going to attend to the doorbell. It is the convention in our house not to use a padlock. The main door looks the same whether there is anyone is at home or not. Since we have our own keys it does not matter to us.

Now I am in my room. First I wear my contact lenses. Now I am stepping out of my shirt and pant. As I put away my man clothes into wash basket, I look into the mirror to admire my smooth skin. I feel myself getting all excited. So let me move away.

The shower is wonderful. The soap glides over my body. I must avoid the temptation to reach between my legs. There a still a lot of time for that.

I have wiped myself fully now. I dry my hair with a drier and comb it backwards.

I am now in front of my mother's dressing table. I have tied my towel around my waist modestly. I am not wearing anything else.

I take a little liquid makeup in my left palm and start putting it on my face little by little. I cover my ears and neck as well. As it dries on me I use a wet cotton swab to clean my lips and eyebrows where a few smudges can be seen. The make up looks a bit too shiny. I will pat a little talcum powder on it.

I have opened my mother's lipstick case. I think I will go in for the deep red one. I dab a tiny brush with lipstick and draw a border at the edge of my lips. Now I use the stick to fill the whole area. I think I will also use a little lip-gloss. It looks and tastes good! Ok that is done.

Now comes the eye shadow. A darker shade of brown on the top lids and a lighter one below. My eyelashes are quite long and nice. Anyway I can't use anything on them with my contacts on. But I can use eyeliner. I do that carefully. This is one of the toughest things. But it done and it is looking very nice.

Before I do anything else, I need to wash my hands properly. I do that and go to my room.

Now I pull out my collection from behind the undergarments. Without putting my arms through it, I hook the bra at my chest. I slide it back into place and now I put my arms through it. I knead my artificial breasts into shape and place them inside the bra cups. I adjust the nipples into their proper place and use a little cotton to obtain the right shape and proper fill.

I drop the towel from my waist and wear a condom. I wear my panties while keeping my thing pressed against my lower tummy. As I have a little cotton padding in the front of the panties as well my mound looks ok. But the wonderful thing is my widened hip with a round bottom. I can feel the woman in me coming out. I can't help looking at myself in the mirror. I am now a woman with smooth fair skin who is just half way through dressing up.

All this has taken a lot of time. I am beginning to feel hungry. But anyway let me complete my dressing up before I eat. I now wear the black blouse which sits snugly over my lovely breasts. I can see the outline of my black bra through it.

I again go back to back to my mom's room. I take out the black petticoat and the silk saree and place them on the bed. I wear the petticoat by sliding it down from my head. It rests on my wide hips. I smoothen it and tie the tape at my waist. In comparison to my wide hips and ample breasts my waist does feel narrow and womanly. I smile happily to myself. I now unfold the saree taking care to note how it was folded. I note the falls and determine the right side and start wearing it. I do it three times yet I am not happy. Ultimately I tie it the Gujarati way. Now I feel happy with the way it has draped over the curves of my body. To hold the pall in place, I have fixed it on to my blouse with a safety pin. The bra straps seem to peep out of the blouse. I have now put them through the button loops at the shoulder of my blouse.

Now I am walking through the house. In small steps I place one foot in front of the other. This causes some movement at my buttocks. I also swing my arms at the elbow and not at the shoulder. When I observe myself in the mirror I know I have the womanly walk now. I have been practicing this walk for over a month. I think I can do it without faltering.

Again I am back in my room. I comb my hair backwards and sort of plaster it against my head. Now I slide the netted cap of the wig over my head and fix it properly. As I tousle it the false hair falls to cover the cap properly and fall over a part of my forehead. Now the effect is stunning. Good hair does add beauty to a woman and I am as such beautiful. I have become more beautiful now. Now the woman in me feels the urge to check my face for any shortcomings in my make up. I use a tissue to smoothen out things. I go back to mom's room and apply a fresh coat of lipstick and purse my lips to spread it evenly. I now want to apply nail polish to my fingers and toes. I sit on my parent's bed and file my nails evenly. Then I apply red nail polish. It is going to be a lot of work to remove all this. But I have the time. While I replace the nail polish, I notice my mom's silver anklets in the draw. I wear them and walk back to my room. My anklets add to my womanliness as the tiny bells in them produce music as I move. They also help me to walk slowly with a nice hip movement.

Now the time has come for the ear danglers and a light necklace and bangles. They are made of silver and coated with gold. I wear them and go back to my mom's room to wear a black bind on my forehead.

I now collect a black shiny handbag from my mother's collection and go back to my room. I place in the bag my lipstick, my compact, some tissues and money. Now I wear my high heeled sandals and stand up. The bag is slung from my shoulder. I check myself in the mirror and know that my transformation into a woman is complete. I will walk through the house and catch glimpses of me in various reflecting surfaces to make sure I look completely natural.

I am satisfied that I look every inch a woman. I am also very hungry now. I leave my bag on my bed and walk into the kitchen. I heat some idles in the microwave. I put them in a plate along with a little chutney. I break the idly into small pieces, dip it lightly into the chutney, put it into my mouth and try to eat it slowly without too much noise. I think I am doing it in gentle womanly way. I immediately wash the plate on eating and put away the balance food properly.

I now come to the living room and smoothen my saree as I slide into the sofa. I take care to keep my legs closed as I sit. I switch on the TV to surf the channels. Now I see a song from Raju Ban gaya Gentleman. I imagine myself as the heroine and become excited.

I switch off the TV and go into my bedroom. I take off my sandals and leave them near my bed. I swing my legs up and gently hit the bed. I pick up a long cylindrical pillow and hug it. I can feel my hero on top of me. I help him to move up and down on me. Now I can feel him inside me as I reach my orgasm.

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" Sunaina wake up" I hear my mother's voice. But why is she was calling me Sunaina? Have I fully become a woman? Now I hear my mother whispering," I think you can hear me. Just get up normally and don't be surprised that I am at home. There are visitors in the house and I don't want them to know anything; ok."

I take a few minutes to open my eyes. Mother is not in the room and the door to the room is closed. I can hear voices outside. It is all coming back now...

Now I know that my mother has seen me fully dressed. She is not mad because there are others at home. She is pretending that I am Sunaina for the sake of others. Now my heart is beating fast. What will happen to me now? How can I face mother. Looks like I had slept off after all the excitement. Let me first check how I look. I walk up to the mirror. Not too bad. Despite having got up from bed I look very much a lovely woman. Hey this note here seems to be for me. Yes! It is from mom.

Dear Sunaina,

I think that it is the right way to call you now. No! I am not angry with you for what you have done. In fact I think you have dressed yourself up very nicely. But I have a ticklish problem. At the convention I got to know a lady from Delhi. During recess she fell down and dirtied her clothes. Since her son has driven her down from Delhi; I suggested that she could go over to our place to change into one of my sarees. We have been here for an hour while you have been sleeping. They have seen you sleeping. It is only courtesy that you should say hello to them. You can't suddenly become my son now with painted nails and all. Anyway I told them that you are my sister's daughter who turned up after I left and even said I was annoyed with my son for leaving you alone and going away.

Darling, I am not opposed to your desire to be a woman. But the matter should remain only within the family. If you come out now and prove that you can deal with strangers as a woman, then dad and I will help you become a woman fully. If you don't do that and remain inside the room, you should never again dress up as a woman.

If you decide to come out now, do refresh yourself and come out as a radiant young woman who is confident of herself. I want you to come out with us and be a woman till tomorrow morning to say the least. That is the time when Vijay and his mother Jaya will be leaving for Delhi. Are you unto it?

With all love and support,

Your mom

Can I do it? I love my mother. I can't let her suffer throughout life with the thought that her only child is incapable of meeting life's challenges. I am in the bathroom to check my eyes for any signs of sleep. Little work with a tissue and compact has me right. I take off my saree. I take off my panties and remove the condom. I sit down to relieve my bladder. I wear my panties again tucking in my thing between my legs. Again I tie my saree properly. I adjust my wig and brush it. My mother is outside is outside. She says," Are you there?" "Yes aunty, I am coming out in a while." I call back rather loudly but in a slightly higher pitch. I have practiced that well and I sound good. "That is my girl", my mother called out. I can sense happiness in her voice.

I open the bathroom door as noiselessly as possible and come into the room. My mother again is not in the room. As I check myself in the mirror, I hear a knock at the door and my mom comes in smiling. I lower my eyes as I turn to face her. I can also feel my cheeks burning. My mother walks up to me lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. "Are you composed now? I mean what I have written in the note. Are you ready for the challenge?" I meet her eyes and say in an undertone," yes mother! I can do it!"

"That is my girl! Now listen. I am telling them that you had come here for an interview in the morning and will be leaving tomorrow. I will also say Suneil got called away for a cricket match in a nearby town and will be back only tomorrow. I will explain your similar names by saying you were born within days of each other. Now about your dress! For the "interview" saree was ok. But for going out with us you need to change...." Mom pauses.

"What are you saying mommy. How can I come out as a... as a girl. Won't people recognize me?"

"No my dear! You are looking every bit a girl. With your nice hair, trimmed eyebrow, made up eyes, full red lips, painted nails, nice breasts and buttocks and a narrow waist, all your friends will see only a desirable babe...." Mom grins broadly as she says this.

As she finishes I start hitting her playfully on her shoulders with my fists." Please, mom! I will say hello to them but let me stay at home."

" No way my dear! I think it is for your own good. Once you go out, you will gain confidence. Before your father returns, I want to be sure that you really want to be a girl. Only then I will be comfortable talking to him about helping you out. So no more discussion. This bag contains a pair of jeans and a nice top which I had bought for your cousin. I think it will fit you. You could wear your Nike shoes which are under the bed. But do wear your socks before you wear the jeans..."

Having said her piece, mother is leaving the room. I am excited at the idea of wearing normal teenager dress. I take off my saree, blouse and petticoat and leave them folded on the bed. I pull out the contents of the bag. Now I know why mom wanted me to wear my socks first. It will be nearby impossible to pull up the socks into these slim fit trousers. So I sit on the bed in my bra and panties and Wear my socks. My peal comes in the way, so I take it off. I also take off my jewelry and the bindi. My image in the mirror looks funny. I smile and pick up the light blue jeans and start sliding it up my legs. The jeans hug my legs and buttocks. As I zip up, I find that the top of the jeans is below my navel. That is because it is a hipster. Oh mommy; what you have done. I am going to look sexy in this thing. I hope this guy Vijay is not a leech.

The top is no less sexy. It is pink, loose fitting, sleeveless and translucent. It has imprints of a plant with tiny flowers all along the hem. The flowers of the plant are at breast level with a caption "Mountain Flowers" printed boldly across the chest. Now that I have worn it, it feels it is rather tight around my breasts with the caption held taut my melons. I am sure no one will have any doubts about which mountains the caption was referring to. To conclude my dressing I wear my shoes.

Now I walk to the mirror. I can feel my buttocks swaying, the muscles of my smooth legs rubbing the fabric, my navel is seen briefly through the fabric and the caption sways a bit with the movement of my breasts. The outline of my bra appears and disappears as I walk. As I swing my arms at the elbows the shiny smoothness of my swinging arms is lit by the flashes of the red painted nails.

Having checked my face in the mirror one last time, I take a couple of deep breaths to gather courage and step out of the room. There is no one in the passage. I tip toe to the kitchen and drink a little water. As I put the glass down, mother comes in and hugs me and kisses me on my forehead.

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"Darling! This is Jay aunty and this is Vijay." I say hi to Vijay and turn to shake hands with aunty, Vijay is sitting in one of the single sofas while aunty is sitting across on one side of a double sofa. Aunty gets up to hug me and says, "Oh dear! You are so pretty. Seeing you, I wish I was young again" She starts laughing as I take an instant liking to her.

While aunty hugs me, mom has sat down on the other half of the double sofa, leaving me with no choice but sit on the single sofa next to Vijay. As aunty releases me and asks me to sit down, Vijay gets up from his seat to let me pass with a gesture of his hands. He smiles at me as I pass him closely. I realize that I am about six inches shorter than him and quite frail compared to his athletic build. I can sense that he too is impressed with my looks. Now I feel confident.

As I sit, mom looks at me and blinks once. I notice her opening and closing her legs slightly. I understand and bring my legs together.

"So how was your interview?"

"Yea Ok"

"What post'

"Oh! Front office in a hotel"