Taking a Chance

Natalie was a very confident woman. She didn't back down. She saw something she wanted and was decisive about getting it. If that's how she felt about me, then it was a forgone conclusion from her perspective she would have me or at least do her best to be with me. Why? It certainly wasn't about money. The business transaction that brought us together, was funded by her company. Perhaps she got a bonus for closing the deal. But there wasn't anything directly related to money for her in taking a chance to get to know me better. I sat still puzzled as Natalie brought two cups of coffee in on a tray with cream and sugar. I guess she remembered I liked both from our dinner a few weeks ago. She sat on the couch a safe distance from me, and kicked off her shoes to tuck her feet under her.

"Thank you Nat. And again, dinner was fantastic. You really are a great cook."

"Thanks Tim. So are you up for a picnic in Central Park tomorrow?" Nat asked excitedly.

"You bet. Sounds great and I think the weather will be gorgeous. They are calling for highs in the mid-seventies which will be perfect. Let me know how I can help." I replied.

"Excellent. Now that tomorrow's plans are hashed out, let's talk about why you're really here." Nat looked sternly at me while sipping her coffee. I felt a shiver run down my back just from her tone and facial expression. I knew she was kidding however.

"OK. I'll play along. Why am I really here? Let me guess. You're secretly a vampire and going to wait until I fall asleep tonight to indoctrinate me? No that's not it. You're really hosting a Tupperware party and everyone is expected to place an order? They are going to pop out of the bedroom any minute now." I retorted with my own playful banter.

Nat laughed, "Not hardly. But you never know. Seriously, there really are no nefarious reasons Tim. It's really simple: I like your company. Let's just enjoy the week we have together."

I relaxed into the couch. I could do that. I could for once in my stuffy banker's personified life, relax with a gorgeous fun woman and just enjoy it. "Nat I would like nothing more than to do just that. So tell me all about Natalie Goldman. I want to know if I need to sleep with the garlic tonight." I laughed.

"Well we talked about our divorces, which by the way, was very freeing for me. So thank you for that. You've met JJ, you know about my work. What would you like to know?" Nat lobbed the ball right back at me. I could see this might be a little bit like cat and mouse, where I was the mouse.

"Well we could start with where you grew up, brothers, sisters, Mother, Father, or I could just kiss you."

I think Nat was a little startled. "Ah, well, yes I could tell you all about my family I suppose." She stammered. She didn't really say yes or no to my implied question, so I leaned forward and kissed her on her soft warm lips lightly. She set her coffee cup on the table while backing away from the kiss. Her eyes filled with fire. I wasn't sure if she was mad or full of lust by her look.

"Oh Tim, do you have any idea how badly I wanted you to do that?" I didn't, but I had wanted it too. I had no idea why. It just felt right. Now I was afraid since it was what we both wanted it was going to go too far too fast. Her eyes glanced at my lips and I could tell she wanted more. I leaned forward and kissed her again with more urgency, while placing my arms around her shoulders to hold her. She felt really good. Her skin was soft but her musculature underneath was firm from whatever her exercise routine was. But as her lips parted her tongue briefly snaked out meeting mine. It was electric. My tongue came out to play as well. I felt it. I was sure she did too. Just like that spark, when our knees touched at the bar in Pennsylvania. I pulled her close to me as we broke the kiss. Maybe we could be more than just business associates. Maybe friends or even more.

Nat just buried her head into my shoulder. She put her arms around my chest as we held each other. It felt safe for both of us I guessed. It did for me. I felt happy for the first time about another woman since my divorce.

"I had no idea, but I knew I wanted to kiss you when you left Pennsylvania last time. I hope it wasn't too forward of me?" I answered her question with one of my own speaking very softly into her hair.

"God no. Just hold me for a while Tim. You just feel so good. Better than I imagined or hoped. You smell delicious too. I don't want this moment to end."

I scooted over closer to her on the couch without breaking contact with her. With as much passion as was raging within both of us I suspected it could have been a short trip into either of her two bedrooms. I think we both felt the carnal lust pulsing through our veins. I thought back to the conversation we had about taking it slowly while watching things develop. Still thinking that was the right path I settled down to relax. The wild endorphin rush of kissing someone passionately for the first time subsiding, although the warmth of peacefulness remained.

"Nat, remember when I said we need to take it slowly?" She nodded her head on my shoulder. "I still think we should, but please don't believe for a minute, that I don't have feelings for you or I didn't love that kiss. As first kisses go, it was right up there at the top of my list. Probably even the very top." I grinned as I said those words, knowing, she could feel my body language expressing my true emotions.

"Tim, I know I'm not a teenager any longer, but I felt my knees go weak from that kiss. My God, I've never felt anything like it. It was like I was floating outside of my body watching a Bogart and Bacall movie while they were kissing." Pulling away from my shoulder, she continued almost in lawyerly fashion. "So, just to summarize, you have my explicit permission to do that again anytime, frequently I'm hoping." She giggled. She had a great laugh. I decided I wanted to hear her laugh more.

"Nat, you have my word as a gentleman to do that often." I beamed at her. We both sat back on the couch grabbing our coffees as we went. Nat picked up a remote and turned on a stereo somewhere in the condo. There were speakers all throughout the condo singing soft tones of "Moon River." For now, we both seemed content to just sit together on the couch enjoying our coffees.

"I'm going to go change in to my jammies, if it's OK with you Tim."

"OK, I think I'll do the same."

We both retired to our respective bedrooms to change. I hadn't had a chance to inspect the guest room or unpack, so took a few moments to look around at the surroundings. Tastefully decorated as I would have expected, with a queen size bed, dresser, small walk-in closet. Colors were a muted pastel green with darker green accents on the comforter. There were photographs of Natalie with friends, male and female hanging on the walls. Of the pictures taken with her female friends, she seemed open, alive, uncaring almost. While those pictures with her and male friends appeared closed, guarded and suspicious. I wondered why? I had to admit a slight twinge of jealousy while staring at the pictures of her and her male friends. Why was that I wondered?

I changed into some cargo shorts and a T-shirt. I was already sitting back on the couch when Nat joined me. She had changed into a long T-Shirt, with white short shorts, but still maintained her modesty. I was glad she chose the more modest attire so she didn't fan the flames any more than they already were. It would have been so easy earlier to get wrapped in the heat of moment with her, ravaging her on the couch. As she sat down, my phone chirped while vibrating in my pocket.

I took out my phone holding it up for Nat to see, and answered it mouthing, "Sorry" to Nat.

"Hello. Tim Cramer speaking." I didn't even bother looking at the caller ID.

My Father came to life, although he sounded very strange to me.

"Tim, your Mother had a stroke. We're at the hospital now." He broke down in desperate sobs. Trying to pull himself together he finally continued. I mouthed, "My Dad" to Natalie. "They don't know if she is going to make it. We were sitting in the living room watching TV. She said she felt a little dizzy, then passed out." My Father was racing to get the words out. My mind was racing to comprehend what he was saying. Natalie was biting her lip, by now understanding since I hadn't said anything the information being relayed was not good. "I called 911. I didn't know what to do. The ambulance arrived in about ten minutes. We've been at the hospital a little over an hour. I just finished with the Doctor. I had to call you. Tim, she might not make it." He broke down again crying openly over the phone.

"Dad, Dad... please. Look I'm up in New York, but I'll get a flight home as soon as I can. Tonight if possible. Please try to hold it together. I'm on my way. Call me if anything changes. I love you Dad." I pressed the end key, as my Father was still crying.

My phone was in my lap. I just sat there stunned.

Natalie had already gone into her bedroom returning with her iPad. "We need to get two tickets home right away. I'm on it." Natalie announced.

That shook me a little. "Nat, I need to get home as soon as possible, you don't need to go." I said a little less enthusiastically than I felt.

"Bullshit. If nothing else, I'm going because I want to be with you to support you. You need support right now even if you don't know it." She angrily spat back at me, causing me to recoil a little at her forcefulness.

"Look, I'm a low maintenance girl. I keep a bag packed in my bedroom, in case I need to fly out for business. I'm all set to go anywhere on a moment's notice. You haven't even unpacked. Go grab your things and we'll take a taxi to the airport. By the time you're ready I'll have a flight and taxi on the way. GO!" She barked.

I wasted no time gathering what little I had unpacked, thinking about the last time I saw my Mother. It was a month prior at the monthly barbeque. She and Dad hosted one almost every month when the weather was warmer, for the neighbors, plus a few of their close friends. Family was always invited. I decided since I hadn't seen them in a few months it would be nice to drop in for a visit. My Mother was always trying to fix me up with one of her neighbor's daughters. Not that I minded. My Mother and Father always had my best interest at heart. I chatted with them, had a beer, some barbeque and quietly excused myself, kissing my Mother and Father on the cheek as I left telling them I loved them both and would see them soon. That had been five weeks ago now.

I gathered up and repacked my bag after slipping on some jeans for traveling with a fresh polo shirt. I emerged from the bedroom, suitcase in hand, looking for Natalie.

Nat came out dressed in jeans, with a pullover NYU sweatshirt carrying her suitcase. "Cab should be arriving any minute. I got us two tickets on the last flight out tonight from LaGuardia to Pittsburg. It leaves at eleven. We'll have to hurry, but I think we can make it. C'mon, let's go downstairs to the lobby to wait for the cab. I'll call my girlfriend Karen to take care of JJ."

We quickly exited her condo, locking up on the way out heading for the lobby of her building. By the time we got downstairs, the cab was waiting. It was five after ten. The cabbie put our bags in the trunk while we got into the back seat. "LaGuardia as fast as you can!" Natalie shouted as the driver was getting into the cab. He slammed into drive wasting no time accelerating away from the curb.

It took us forty minutes when Nat was driving last time. I hoped the cabbie did as well or better. It was going to be close no matter how quickly we got there.

He pulled up a short twenty-five minutes later in front of the USAIR terminal. Nat had downloaded the boarding passes to our respective phones during the cab ride.

We grabbed our bags literally running, each carrying a bag in one hand, while holding each other's hand through the airport through to security. At this time of night on a Friday, it wasn't crowded. I was grateful. We sailed past security to the gate. We walked onto the plane with ten minutes to spare.

After we stowed our bags, we took our seats. I let out a pent up breath of air in a sigh. Natalie grabbed my hand. It felt wonderful. It was comforting. My thoughts were jumbled in my mind. I had just started to get to know a charming beautiful woman, but now my Mother was at death's door. There wasn't much I could do for my Mother at this point. Her care was in the hands of her Doctor's. I was however, very appreciative of the woman sitting beside me holding my hand. I squeezed her hand, nodding my appreciation to her in unspoken terms. She seemed to understand.

Nat smiled at me, "Tim, we made the flight. Try to relax a little until we get there. You must have a thousand thoughts running through your mind. Try not to dwell on them until you know the whole picture. I'm here to support you."

"Thank you. You're right I do have mind full of mush right now. But I do know I'm grateful to you for being here." I realized I hadn't told Nat what happened to my Mother, so I explained it to her. She just nodded her understanding of the facts relayed by my Father.

It was a quiet flight for both of us. I was in my own little world thinking of all the possibilities and scenarios regarding my Mother. I had no idea what Nat was thinking, but she seemed perfectly content to pass the time without idle chatter. That seemed to speak volumes of the type of person she was – mature.

We touched down at the airport in Pittsburgh about thirty minutes past midnight Saturday morning. We were on our way to long term parking to retrieve my car when Nat said, "Tim, I had time on the plane to think about things. You didn't ask me if I would go. I just told you I was going. I know I can be too focused on the outcome of things. I tend to push forward even though it might seem to others that I'm just a bull in a china closet, but I do care. I care about you. I would understand if you had second thoughts about me being here. It was just my first reaction to supporting someone I care about."

"Nat, thanks. I'm glad you're here. Enough said. OK?" I was still stressed over the situation and hope Nat didn't take my terseness as a lack of approval for her to be here.

"OK, I feel a little better. Thanks."

We arrived at the hospital a little after one Saturday morning. My Father was in the room with his head resting on her bed, holding my Mother's hand when I walked in.

I whispered quietly after closing the door, "Dad, it's Tim." My Father's head rose from the bed. He looked at me with glassy eyes. I could tell he had been crying. It broke my heart to see him next to my Mother with lines, tubes, monitors, and gadgets everywhere crowding her space in the small room. He gently let go of my Mother's hand motioning we should talk outside. I bent over and kissed my Mother's cheek while speaking softly. "Mom, it's Tim. I'm here. I love you Mom." She didn't respond.

Nat was outside waiting on one of the chairs, when my Father and I emerged. I knew this would set my Father back a little seeing someone he didn't know, so I quickly made introductions. Natalie held onto my Father's hand while I made the introduction. He seemed to take comfort in having a female touch.

My Father relayed the same story he told me previously on the phone to both us with a few less tears this time. I assumed before he was still in shock, but had time to process things in the past few hours. My Mother's prognosis was certainly not positive. Until, or if, she awakened there was no way to assess the damage the stroke had caused. They had done multiple CAT scans to pinpoint the section of her brain that had the clot, but could only guess at the degree of paralysis to some or all of her right side based on the location. Sadly, in the case of stroke victims, there are no warning signs. Some are mild, others debilitating, yet others so massive, they might lead to death.

The Doctor had assured my Father she was in no pain, although I struggled with that concept, since I couldn't know her state unless I talked with her, which seemed highly unlikely. The Doctor said she could awaken at any time, but couldn't give any specific timeline.

I asked my Father to take Natalie home to get some sleep, while I stayed with my Mother in the hospital. Neither Natalie nor my Father wanted to go at first. I stood firm that I would notify them the minute her condition changed in any way. I could see the worry on my Father's face, along with the concern on Nat's face. I shrugged leaving them both standing in the hallway to decide.

Nat stuck her head in the doorway about two minutes later and quietly said they were going to go. I came to the door. Nat brushed a hair out of my eye. She kissed me on the lips. "I'm going to take your Father home. He's like a zombie. I think I convinced him he was no good to anyone in his condition."

I nodded. "Nat thanks. You can sleep in my old room down the hall from my parents. Dad will show where it is."

"We'll be back first thing in the morning, but you better call if anything changes." It sounded like she was speaking to me like my Mother. It caused me to get a little glassy. I kissed her forehead and thanked her for being with me. She squeezed my hand as she parted.

Returning to the room, I sat with Mom much the same way my Father had, my head down, holding her hand. I'm sure I dozed off several times throughout the night. Since it seemed the nurses were in every fifteen minutes to check something it was an extremely long night.

My cell announced a text about seven in the morning. It was Nat, asking if there were any changes. I replied that things were unchanged. Nat and my Father had been up since about six. They were going to bring me a change of clothes.

They arrived about thirty minutes later with breakfast. It was shift change at the hospital, so the nursing staff going off duty, meets with the oncoming shift to ensure proper instructions have passed between them during a group huddle at the nursing station. Nat, my Father, and I sat in my Mother's room eating our breakfast sandwiches drinking coffee.

My Father was the first to speak. "Have we seen a God Damned Doctor in here yet this morning?" He asked a little angrily.

I knew my Father was just venting. It would be better to absorb his venting than mirror it back to him. "No Dad. But they are doing shift change now, so I would expect someone soon. Mom hasn't changed since last night. I've been here the whole time. I've spoken with each of the nurses and they all indicated she's comfortable for now." My Father looked at me like I had lost my mind. Nat looked concerned at the exchange, but gave me a brief smile indicating it was the right course of action to take with my Father.

No one in our family had a great deal of experience with Doctors or hospitals. Our family had lived a relatively trouble free life health-wise. My Mother of course had me and my sister in a hospital but that had been well over thirty years ago. Except for my Father visiting my Mother on the birth of their children, neither one of them had seen the inside of a hospital since. All good as far as I was concerned, but it left my Father in a state of continuous agitation due to unfamiliarity with the surroundings. Understandable.

My Father was not a patient man to begin with. He never liked to wait to be seated at a restaurant, for more than five minutes even if he didn't have reservations. He bulldozed his way through life like he and my Mother were the only two people that existed. Everyone was to be at their service. My Mother, the much more patient of the two, did her best to corral my Father's impatience, with modest success. I'm sure if the inevitable happened and my Mother died, he would be next to impossible to control. I wondered if I inherited those same traits. Time would tell I suppose, but it didn't seem like I had.