Taking a Chance

While I was off staring into space, a young Doctor maybe my age entered carrying my Mother's chart. He pushed his glasses up from his nose to greet us as we all stood. He appeared thoughtful as he scanned the chart. I was hoping for any piece of news that was positive.

"Mr. Cramer, I'm Doctor Morton Frederick. I'm the cardiopulmonary surgeon on rotation this weekend. I've reviewed your wife's charts. Who are the other visitors here please?"

My Father quickly replied. "They are all family. This is my son Tim and his girlfriend Natalie." I had introduced Natalie as a friend to my Father last night. I suppose in his mind anyone that would accompany me from New York to Pittsburg under difficult circumstances qualified as girlfriend in his book. I couldn't argue with that logic. It did have a nice ring to it.

"Very well. As I'm sure the attending told you last night, your wife had a stroke. We can't determine the results until she awakens, but I can tell you the source. Based on the EKG, your wife has a mild heart condition affecting the mitral valve. When the valve doesn't fully close, there is build-up of blood that gets over-aerated via the lungs. It develops extra air bubbles if you will. When the valve reopens it allows the blood to flow again with the air bubbles suspended. As over aerated blood travels throughout her system an air bubble can lodge anywhere. In this case it lodged in her brain, and cut off the blood supply to a portion of it." The Doctor stopped, looking for confirmation from one of us that we understood what he had said. I nodded for him to continue before asking my questions. My Father and Nat looked at me like I was the teacher's pet understanding everything he just said.

The Doctor continued. "I can fix the heart valve relatively easily. It's an easy procedure as surgery goes. It would be best to do that sooner rather than later to prevent any more occurrences. I'm more concerned however about the lasting damage the original stroke may have caused. And of course we won't know that until she regains consciousness. My recommendation is that we proceed with the surgery this afternoon."

"Doctor, what are the chances that my Mother's condition will worsen if you perform surgery?"

"The procedure itself is very simple and done through insertion of an instrument through the artery in the groin. It is not invasive from a surgical perspective. It is successful 99 times out of 100. Only in rare circumstances would the procedure need to be redone. Although as with any surgery, there are risks of infection and anesthesia. But the positive outcomes far outweigh the risks."

"What if we don't go ahead with the surgery?"

"Not my first choice, but of course that's up to you and your Father. I can tell you that for sure if it is not repaired it will cause another stroke at some point."

That put the point of the spear to the heart of the question. It was a non-decision in my mind. I put my arm around my Father and Nat at the same time. I hugged them to me for support. "Dad, I think we need to go forward with the surgery." He agreed. The Doctor nodded. "I'll go make the arrangements. We'll talk about Mrs. Cramer's prognosis after the surgery. Please try to relax. I know that's not easy right now. This is a very straightforward surgery."

I could see tears in Nat's eyes. I think my Father and I were almost cried out by now. I let go of Natalie and hugged my Father. Nat reluctantly let go when I went to hug my Father, then put her arms around my back and we shared a group hug. It was better with her here, I had to admit.

The surgery was set for one o'clock Saturday afternoon. As the Doctor had said, it was without complication. She was back in her room by four in the afternoon. Now she was recovering from the anesthesia, the outcome of her stroke still unknown.

We all stayed right there in the room with her until about eight that evening. She hadn't changed condition remaining lifeless in the bed with lights and monitors beeping steadily. It was one of the most depressing times of my life. I felt utterly helpless. My stomach growled. It must have been a sympathetic vibration but it sounded like Nat's growled just after mine.

"Look, why don't we get something to eat. None of us can do anything for Mom until she wakes up. None of us has eaten since this morning. We've got to keep up our strength for her." My logic seemed to prevail. One by one we left the room my Father being the last.

I suggested the bar across the street would work since it was close. The nurses had our cell phone including Nat's. We stoically walked across the street to the bar. It looked like many of the hospital staff were here. Probably another shift change I guessed.

We got a table. My Father sat on one side while Nat and I took the other. We all ordered a burger, fries and iced tea. The mood was somber. Nat held my hand under the table. I felt comforted by her proximity as well as touch. My Father just wrung his hands while we waited for our food. My Father cleared his throat. He took a drink of his tea composing his thoughts. His hand shook as he brought the glass to his lips. I guess he was just trying to take his mind off our situation.

"This is a hellava situation for us to meet isn't it Natalie?" I thought the question might take Nat a little off-guard but she stood right up to my Father with what I thought was a fantastic answer.

"Mr. Cramer, I appreciate what you must be going through with your wife. I had an aunt that passed away not long ago. Tim and I had planned to spend the week in New York. When he got your call last night I could tell the news wasn't good just like in my aunt's case. There was no question in my mind that I would be there with Tim."

"That sounds serious Natalie. Tim is it serious? Not that I have any opinion about it, it's just I've never heard your name before last night. I can tell you have feelings for my son. God knows you must, or you wouldn't have dropped everything to fly here last night with him."

I wasn't sure how to respond to my Father. On one level I felt myself falling in love with Natalie. If for no other reason than her sense of family. More importantly her sense of self-sacrifice of her time to support me was telling. My Father was right, what woman who doesn't have feelings for me, would pick up in a moment's notice during a crisis, to be with someone they hardly knew. Maybe Natalie's feelings ran deeper than I thought.

"Dad, Nat and I met about a year ago at a luncheon here in town. It wasn't until about a month ago that Nat and I got together to close the deal on the clothing store. She invited me up to New York so we could complete the sale and get to know one another better. I know I have feelings for Nat. Hell I guess if I admit to myself, I had feelings even as far back as that luncheon. I just chose not to act on them I suppose. I can tell right now, she's definitely someone I want to get to know." I replied confidently looking directly at Natalie. Nat blushed. It was the most open conversation we'd had about "us" since I had arrived in New York.

"Mr. Cramer..." My Father interrupted Natalie.

"Please Natalie, call me Jake."

"Jake, you and your wife have done an outstanding job raising Tim. Aside from Tim being very handsome, one of the first things that struck me about him was how he handled himself. He is a true gentleman. He opens car doors, restaurant doors, pulls chairs out for me. He probably rescues cats out of trees if the situation calls for it. I found after that first dinner when we discussed the clothing store, I missed having him do those things for me. I couldn't believe it myself after only one dinner that I would miss his gentlemanly ways, but I did. I genuinely liked him and decided to take a chance by inviting him to New York so we could finish the contract. I was hoping for more time with Tim to see if we could connect and become friends. While I know these are not ideal circumstances, I feel something for Tim I've not felt in my entire life. I'm not sure I know what it is to put a label on it, but I do know that I don't want to let Tim go without finding out."

My Father's emotions must have been all over the place. He started crying right then. "I only wish my wife – Suzy could see and hear this. God, she may never come back to us. What am I going to do?"

"Dad, Mom is a strong woman. You know it and I know it. She's coming back. Let's trust the Doctors and pray for the rest. Somehow it's going to work out."

Our food arrived. We ate in relative silence. Not much more to say about Mom other than we were all in her corner rooting for her. We walked back to the hospital. I checked in at the nurse's station and found the same crew from the prior night on duty. They recognized me. They reported no change in Mom's status since we left for dinner. I went back to inform my Father and Nat.

"Look there's been no change with Mom. Everything is still stable for now." I paused.

"I'm going to stay here tonight. You and Natalie go home to get a little sleep. Come back in the morning. I just need to be with her. God that woman is everything to me. Bring me some clothes when you come back tomorrow morning. Would you?"

"Sure Dad. We'll be back around the same time tomorrow. Let me just kiss Mom goodbye."

I kissed my Mother good bye. Nat hugged my Father. She was endearing herself to not only me but my Father as well I could tell. We left the room together.

On the ride home, Nat opened up a little to me. "You know Tim, I know this a very difficult time for you and your family. Somehow, I don't know, I feel a part of it, through you. It feels strange, almost like we're connected in some way. I don't know, I can't explain it. It must sound crazy. I feel like I can feel your Father's pain through your pain. And it hurts me when he's in pain the same as you."

"Nat, I never meant for our time together to be spent like this. I just – I just have my Mother and my Father on my mind right now. Look, what I said before isn't the whole truth. Yes I have feelings for you, but what I admitted to myself before I said that was I thought I was falling in love with you. I don't want to scare you and this might just be the emotions given the situation, but you've shown me more love and support in twenty four hours, than I ever experienced with my first wife."

Natalie was quiet and didn't respond right away. I'm sure she was shocked at my revelation. We arrived at the house a few minutes later. Nat knew her way to the bedroom. I followed along locking doors along the way. I wanted to grab a few things so I could sleep on the couch.

"Where do you think you're going?" Natalie asked me.

"I'm going to make up the couch and sleep downstairs. Why?"

"I see your Mom's situation must have upset you more than I imagined. You're not thinking clearly. OK. Here is how it's going to be. Go take a shower, while I turn down the bed. You are sleeping in your own bed tonight. And guess what? This isn't open to debate. Oh and by the way, I'll be there right next to you. No discussion. Now Go!" Natalie barked liked she had when we were in New York preparing to come here. What a diamond I found with strength I could only imagine.

I went off to shower and shave since it had been over thirty six hours since I had done both. Fifteen minutes later I felt normal again. I entered my old room. The side lamp was on, but the overhead light was turned off. I was dressed in gym shorts and a T-shirt. Natalie was sitting on the bed with an arm full of clothes patiently waiting until I finished. She had turned the bed down and gestured for me to get in, then headed for her own shower.

In what seemed like record time, for a woman anyway, she returned to the bedroom in a T-shirt of her own and her short-shorts. Modest, but it was easy to see her breasts were unrestrained as she entered the room. I felt a twinge in my manhood. I was dead tired. I think Natalie sensed it as well.

"Tonight, we are going to sleep together and I do mean sleep. While the thought of jumping your bones is intensely exciting to me right now, you need some sleep. We'll have time for that other stuff later. Comprende'?"

"Yes Mam. I'll be good." Nat slipped under the covers pulling them up over both of us. I just laid back with my head on the pillow. I felt her hand on my chest as she reached over and above me while she kissed me goodnight. I can't remember her turning out the light. I slept like a log.

I remember having this intensely erotic dream where I was a sheik. There were beautiful harem girls all around with one in particular that was dancing over me wearing veils. The more she danced the more veils she shed until she was only down to one covering her face. Although the last veil was still translucent I could make out her face. Her face looked like Natalie. I came awake with a bit of start quickly reminding myself I was sleeping with someone. That would have been hard not notice since she was wrapped around me with her arm over my chest and her leg draped on my thigh. I now felt the effects of the dream or maybe it was my sleep partner. I was fully awake all over including my lower regions. I tried not to rustle too much, not wanting to wake Natalie, but she stirred.

Nat pulled her leg up into a stretch with her knee touching the bottom of my sack in an almost cat like stretch. She leaned forward kissing me, my eyes now fully awake. "Good morning sweetheart. And I like how you feel when I sleep with you. And I mean all of you. Let's check on your Mom." I sighed in quiet anticipation knowing any time with Nat was going to be great.

"I'll let my Father know we're on our way. Let me grab a couple of his things." I grabbed a fresh pair of jeans and clean polo shirt from my suitcase, while Natalie rummaged through her own suitcase for something to wear. I slipped off to the bathroom to change.

We met in the hall fully clothed. I got a change of clothes from my Father's room while Nat raced through her morning routine in the bathroom. She emerged fresh faced looking brighter than I felt even after having a relatively good night's sleep. I guess the events of the past thirty six hours or so were catching up with me.

"Let's pickup breakfast on the way to the hospital like I did yesterday. There is a little place your Father showed me. Besides, their coffee isn't too bad." I quickly agreed.

We piled into the car and I followed Nat's directions to the breakfast diner.

We bought almost a repeat of yesterday's breakfast with the addition of some fruit we could all share and a muffin for everyone for later. After yesterday's long day, there was no telling when we might get a chance to eat again after breakfast.

We arrived at the hospital a little after seven in the morning. I know my Father must have been exhausted. I gingerly entered the room to find him asleep in the chair right next to the bed holding my Mother's hand. The scene touched me for sure. Nat was right behind me. We decided it might be best to eat breakfast out in the hall this morning to give my Father a break from the room for a few minutes. I gently roused him from his sleep. He looked up sternly at me, quickly putting the pieces back together acknowledging he understood where he was and why I was there while looking at my Mother with a question in his eyes. I just shrugged not knowing anything more than he did. I motioned with my head for him to join us outside the room so we could talk.

Once outside the room, Nat had set all the food and coffee out on our make-shift breakfast table of chairs in front of each of us in the hallway. He thanked her while I went off to check with the nurse's station hopefully just prior to shift change. I found Cathy, the same nurse that had spoken to me last night still on duty. She indicated relatively little change in my Mother's condition, but her vital signs were improving. Her heartbeat was stronger, respiration more even, and blood pressure stable. I was thankful for her update and told her so.

I returned to our breakfast table to relay the news about Mom's condition. "She's stable and improving." I summarized without going into details. We went back to finishing our breakfast.

As Nat and I were cleaning up from breakfast, Dr. Frederick made an appearance. He pushed his glasses up on his nose again like yesterday but this time he actually smiled at us. "I think your wife Suzy is making progress Mr. Cramer. Her vitals have improved, which is excellent. It's still too early to tell, but her condition has definitely improved. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, too early, but I'm pleased with her progress and the results of the surgery." He finished with a smile again.

I felt somehow buoyed by his remarks. It might the first time in two days that we received good news. I hoped so for my Mother's sake, and my Father's.

My Father hadn't said anything, so I replied, "Thank you Doctor. Is there anything we can do? Or just wait and see at this point?"

"In cases like this, the body goes into a healing mode to shield itself from further trauma. It needs a settling period to make sure when it awakes there is no more trauma or the initial cause of the trauma has passed. I wish I could give you a more definitive timeline, but I just can't. I'm sorry. The hospital has all your contact information, why don't you just go home and let us continue to care for your Mother. There really is nothing you can do for her. I promise, we'll call you as soon as anything changes. At least consider it." And with that he was gone.

I looked at Nat, then my Father. Nat looked encouraged, my Father looked defeated. I guess I felt numb and helpless. Nat picked up with her take charge attitude.

"C'mon guys, let's take care of you so you can take care of her when the time comes. Let me drive you home so you can get some rest. I'll stay awake to catch any phone calls that come in." I looked at my Father and he looked at me through tired, weary eyes tacitly agreeing to Nat's suggestion. We each said goodbye to Mom in our own way.

Arriving home, Dad headed for his room. I guessed he would want a shower and shave like I had the night before so I left him to it. I wanted a little alone time with Nat.

"Nat, I need to tell you how much I appreciate you being here with me. It means the world to me. It really does. Anytime you want to or need to go home, believe me I'll understand. This is much more than anyone would have thought a first date entailed." I smiled trying to add a little levity to an otherwise very tense moment.

"Tim, let me help shape your thinking here, since you still seem a little out it. I'm here of my own free will because I too seem to be caught up in this whirlwind called your family. Any man that loves his family as much as you do, deserves at least that much support from a friend. Right now, I consider myself that friend." I started to respond when Nat held up her hand in a gesture that she wanted to finish. "Look, life is precious, it's here, it's now, and happening in the present. What you shared with me last night about thinking you were falling in love with me, sealed the deal for me. I'm in this for the long haul. I don't care about anybody else, as much as I care about you and your family right now. Call me crazy. Call me a lunatic. But if you think for one minute I wouldn't, or couldn't be here with you right now, then you are the one that's crazy. What I'm trying to say Tim, is I'm crazy in love with you. So much it seems that I feel your pain vicariously. I feel the pain of your Mother and your Father through you. Sure I see it firsthand with your Mother lying there, and your Father's anguish as a result, since I've been here, but when you hurt, I hurt. I can't explain it. But I can tell you I don't like it one damn bit when everyone is in pain."