Taking Charge Pt. 06

"Fuck," he moaned quietly.

Oh, Jesus, the feel of him inside me, so long and so hard. It had only been a few days that I'd gone without sex, but it felt like our first time, like he was almost too long, almost too wide, almost too fucking big. It felt so good, but not good enough. I needed more. Much, much more.

Lifting one leg and then the other, I planted my feet on the couch outside of his thighs, walking my hands up his chest behind me while his big hands cupped my ass. His cock had pulled back to just his crown, but when I lowered my body, oh my God. He was the perfect shape for this, his broad tip rubbing against that spot on the roof of my vagina over and over again. I wasn't moving that much, and I knew I was getting far more pleasure out of this than he was, but that was fine with me. I wasn't doing it for him. I was doing it for me.

I fucked the top third of his dick, using his member to stimulate that spot, taking my pleasure from him until desire suffused every part of me, swelled inside me and overcame me, shattering my mind and soul with explosive release that tore a scream out of my throat as my legs gave out and his cock impaled me to the fullest. Jake's hands cupped my breasts and I laid back against him, letting the climax rumble through me in pulsing waves of bliss. I rotated my hips, stirring my insides with his enormous cock, milking every second out of my orgasm that I could.

When I came back to my body, Jake was cupping my ass again, lifting and lowering me onto his colossal pole, fucking me. I wasn't finished with him yet. I got my hands on his chest and pushed back up, fucking my clasping cunt up and down the first few inches of his cock, taking my pleasure once again. Holy fuck, he just felt so good, so very hard. I'm not entirely certain when the tables had turned, but he was no longer a person. He was a thing, a device for my pleasure. I used him as such, used his cock to bring me screaming two more times until my body felt liquid and his cock was drenched. His hands were on my hips then, trying to pull me down, trying to fuck me deeper, trying to find his own pleasure. I figured he'd earned it.

I laid back against him with my head on his shoulder. Jake wrapped his arms around me and pinned me to his chest. I was trapped, helpless, his hips thrusting and pumping his cock slow and deep into my body, never pulling out more than halfway. I was delirious with pleasure, climaxing again. His hands were on my ass now, pushing me up while lowering his hips and dropping me down while thrusting up, fucking me fast and faster from crown to nuts, glorious cock just crashing into me, ripping through me, plunging so deep inside me and making me come endlessly. I felt him throb, swell, knew he was going to come, and like I said, he'd earned it.

Flexing my legs, I pulled my clasping cunt off his cock with a loud wet pop and spun around to straddle him, pressing my soaked vagina to his shaft and pumping my hips while jacking off the top half of his twitching pole. He pawed at my breasts and swelled in my hand, his cock primed for an epic explosion, the slit at his tip opening threateningly. And then it happened, this enormous column of white that just shot out of him with such incredible power that it arched high over him to hit the wall behind the couch. His dick lurched again and again, hurling hot semen all over his chest, neck, and even his face. Jake didn't care that he was coming all over himself. He just threw his head back and roared, pumping his hips and fucking his cock through my fist while I rubbed my slippery cunny against his shaft and managed to find a small but thoroughly satisfying climax for myself.

When it was finally over, his upper body shimmered with semen, a few large drops having found his shoulders too.

"Shit, Becca," he groaned.

I leaned over him and licked the cum from his huge ripped core, kissing and sucking his semen soaked chest and shoulders. I cleaned his neck with my mouth, then his jaw and chin, his cheeks, and finally I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth and letting him taste himself. Jake growled and wrapped his arms around me, forcing my tongue back into my mouth with his and kissing me so very deeply. It was almost like he was fucking my mouth with his tongue, and I was so lost that I almost didn't notice that he was lifting me, that he was going to fuck me again, that the tables were turning once more and that he was going to take me.

But this time, I didn't want to lose myself to him, because everything had changed. It hit me then, what I had done, the line I had crossed. Up until that moment, I had been the victim, in a way. I had never propositioned him. I had let him fuck me, let him take me. But today, I had taken him. I had knowingly and willingly climbed onto his cock and fucked him to my satisfaction. I could no longer claim any semblance of innocence. I was now fully complicit in the affair. I had finally, fully, and officially cheated on my husband.

I didn't cry. I thought I would, but the tears never came. Jake must have sensed my inner turmoil. His wide crown was pressed to the mouth of my vagina, poised to take me, but he lowered his hips and let me be. I hung my head and let the gravity of the situation roll over and through me. I accepted responsibility for what I had done. I accepted the guilt, the blame. But perhaps even more importantly, I realized something else.

I had done it. For the first time in my life, I had been the aggressor and succeeded at it. I'd wanted pleasure, and I'd taken it. Yes, my marriage was a wreck and I was fucking my husband's best friend, but I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't feel ashamed. I felt...empowered.

I pushed up onto my arms and looked at Jake. His big blue eyes looked back at me. Everything was different. The rules had changed. I looked down at Jake's handsome face and knew that I was in control. I wasn't helpless to him anymore. If I wanted him, I would take him. Simple as that. And something else clicked too. Something he had said days ago. Something that was quite possibly critical to why my marriage was falling apart, and I was pretty sure that I knew how to fix it, or at least how to try, but I needed time to think. Possibly a lot of time.

And with that realization, Jake smiled crookedly, sweetly, almost bashfully. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

I nodded, frowning sadly. It was sad, really. But I was thankful, because inadvertently, Jake might have just saved me.

Jake reached up to cup my face in his big hand, to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

"What do I tell him?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'll take care of it."

I leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth, being careful to avoid a small drop of semen that I'd missed. He tried to kiss me fully, but I pulled away. It was wrong now. I couldn't kiss him anymore. I couldn't fuck him anymore. It was over.

I stroked my hands down his handsome face, gazed into his eyes, then I left him to take a shower, pack a bag, write a note, and hit the road.

Chapter 20

I need time to myself for a while. This is as much my fault as it is yours. I should have told you how lonely I was. I should have told you how much I needed you. I should have shown you. By the time I tried, it was too late. You pushed me away, so I am away, discovering myself, understanding my needs. I don't know when, but I will be back. We have a lot to talk about, and you have a critical decision to make, to keep me or not. I am more than your wife, Ryan. I am your woman, your other half, and I am incomplete without you. But I can learn. If I must, I can continue to discover myself without you. I can have what I need with anyone I wish. I choose to have it with you. But not yet. Do not call me. Do not come find me. When I am willing, we will talk. I expect you to be ready.

With Love,

Rebecca

I like to imagine that Ryan cried when he read my note, that Jake had to wrestle the phone out of his hand to keep him from calling me. I had my cell with me, but he didn't call. Either he respected my wishes, or he couldn't muster the courage to violate my wishes. I prefer to believe the former.

I spent the next three and a half months at our cabin in Colorado. I wasn't entirely alone. My girlfriends filtered in now and then, for a few days at a time. I brought them all up to speed, of course. They kept me apprised of their lives as well. It didn't surprise me to find out that Jake was doing just fine. He was fucking both Carole and Jody on a regular basis, as well as Mrs. Biddleston. Susan, for her part, had kept her distance from him, though she was tempted. I couldn't blame her. Jake was gorgeous, the perfect specimen, an alpha male, and he knew his way around a woman's body.

I didn't miss him. The sex, sure. More to the point, I missed sex in general, but I had a lot of free time over those three and a half months to experiment with my body, to discover pleasures I'd never known before. In fact, my new favorite toy was an amazing vibrator with a rotating tip and an anal stimulator. I felt like a new woman, comfortable with my awakened body, and I was so very eager to explore it further with a partner. I had more than enough opportunities to do that in Colorado. There was no shortage of hunky young men out there, and they were more than willing to keep a woman like me company. I think they sensed the change in me too, or rather, they sensed the potential of a wild night free of guilt. I was tempted, to say the least. But aside from my toys, I went without.

Until November.

"Rebecca?" Ryan said breathlessly when he answered the phone.

"Come to the cabin," was all I told him, then I hung up.

I hadn't given him any warning at all. In a way, this was the first test I had planned for my husband, to see if he would drop everything and come to me. He passed. He arrived late the next morning. A foot of snow had fallen the night before, atop the foot already outside. He didn't use his key. He knocked. I answered the door in a turtleneck sweater, jeans, and fur-lined boots with my hair pulled back in a French braid.

And there he was, black hair, brown eyes that shimmered the instant he saw me, small but full lips parted with a sigh of relief. He had just a little stubble on his jaw, having not shaved that morning. I chose to believe he was too eager to get on the plane to come see me to bother shaving. He was wearing a heavy coat and a knit cap, dusted with fat snowflakes.

"Hi," I said quietly.

He swallowed. "Hi."

I moved out of the way to let him in. Ryan stomped the snow off his boots and took them off just inside the door, then closed the door behind him. I took his bag to the bedroom and rejoined him, watching him as he took off his hat and coat, hanging both of them up on the rack beside the door. He wore a turtleneck sweater too, brown to my pink, and faded jeans that he'd had for years, his favorite pair.

God, it had been so long since I'd seen him. Maybe that's why he seemed so much more attractive that day. He was strikingly handsome, in a way that Jake wasn't, more sensual than outright sexy, but instantly, I wanted to take his clothes off, to see the rest of him. I'd be taking my clothes off soon enough anyway. I could have just answered the door in my preferred attire, but I didn't want to shock him. I figured it best to ease him into the new me, in a manner of speaking.

Maybe it was thinking of Jake that did it, but I realized that I didn't know my husband's body as well as I should. I was intimately familiar with almost every inch of Jake's body. We'd been married for years, but by husband's body was still a mystery. I'd gone without for the entire time I'd been here, and my body was a tightly coiled spring of wanton need. It was a struggle to keep from attacking him right there.

"Wow," Ryan said softly, making me blink and focus my gaze on his, which was a kind of a wonder. "You haven't looked at me like that in years."

I blushed, a little embarrassed, but mostly ashamed. Ryan never lied. If he said I hadn't looked at him with such obvious desire in years, then I hadn't. Seemed I was more culpable in our failing marriage than I'd thought.

"You look good," I told him.

He smiled bashfully and sighed. "You look perfect."

I blushed again. "Why don't you go sit by the fire and warm up. I'll get you some coffee."

I didn't wait for his reply, heading off to the kitchen. When I came back with coffee for both of us, Ryan was sitting on the thick fur rug in front of the fireplace. He'd taken off his sweater. A grey thermal shirt clung to his upper body. I had to blink to refocus my gaze, to be sure that what I was seeing was real.

"Have you been working out?" I asked, sitting down nearby and handing him his coffee.

Ryan grinned bashfully again and nodded. "Jake's been dragging me to his gym. Said it would take my mind off things."

That certainly explained things, like his arms and chest bulging beneath his thermal shirt. He wasn't big like Jake, and he'd always kept himself in good shape, but God, Ryan lookedcut.

"Did it work?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Just kept me occupied. Helped me sleep though."

I nodded and my gaze broke from his, traveling down the muscles of his neck and shoulders.

"He said you'd like it."

I blinked and looked up at him. He was staring at me intently, gauging my reaction.

"Do you?" he asked.

I nodded and looked down into my mug of steaming coffee. I'd rehearsed 'the big talk' in my head for weeks, everything I wanted to say, needed to say, but suddenly, my mind was blank and my tongue was tied.

Ryan reached out and touched my knee. His voice was strained. "I've really missed you, Becca."

"We're not in a good place," I muttered.

He nodded and swallowed. "I know."

"You read my note," I said, looking up at him. "So you know where I'm at. I need to know where you are."

He looked away. For a moment, I feared he was shutting down, but he surprised me.

"I started noticing...other women," he said, swallowing in the middle of it. "Noticing me, I mean, about a year ago." He was staring at the fire, frowning. "I liked it, at first. But it bothered me. I shouldn't have liked it that much. I shouldn't have wanted them to notice me."

He was practically describing my own experiences. In the absence of his attention, I had come to survive on the attention of other men.

"You wanted me to notice," I said.

Ryan nodded. The reflection of the fire danced in his dark eyes. He looked sad, forehead creased with a frown and his jaw tight, but somehow, he was more attractive than he'd ever been. I knew what he wanted right then. He wanted to be held, for me to tell him that everything would be okay. But I didn't know if everything would be okay. Maybe it would be though, because I felt horrible. That I had ignored him as he had ignored me was something I simply hadn't considered before, and it cut to the bone. If both of us were hurt, we might be able to heal each other.

"Do you still want me to?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me with a different kind of frown, unsure of what I meant.

"Notice you," I added.

"More than anything," he said so softly that I almost didn't hear him. But then he smiled crookedly. "Well, almost more than anything."

The suggestive undertone was unmistakable, and my heart fluttered in my chest. God, how long had it been since he'd flirted with me? I'd forgotten how cute his boyish grin was too, and infectious. We just sat there grinning stupidly at each other for a while, and it felt like we were college kids again. I also forgot howdangerous that grin of his was. It was the grin that seduced me the very first time I saw him, the grin that tempted me with carnal thoughts that had never preoccupied my mind before. He was the first boy that I dreamt about being with, and it was because of that grin.

"Are you hungry?"

He shook his head.

"Tired?"

He grinned again and shrugged. I could tell he was tired though. The cabin had warmed back up, so I set down my mug and got up.

"Wait here," I told him.

He frowned again and watched me leave. I went to the bedroom and took off my boots and thick socks, then got the shower going. If there was one investment I was glad that Ryan made in our cabin, it was the tankless water heater. When I went back to the living room, I found Ryan sitting in the chair beside the fireplace. He stood up at my arrival, a polite habit of his.

"Taking a shower?" he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

I held out my hand to him. He looked at it, then at me. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out at first.

"I thought...you want me to...?"

I just held my hand out. He swallowed and pulled his hands out of his pocket, then reached out and took mine. I turned and brought him with me to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and I turned around. God, he looked so nervous, like a deer caught in headlights. I guess he was, in a way, and I was the big scary truck barreling down on him. Taking a step towards him, I unbuckled his belt and opened the fly of his jeans. He was holding his breath when I pulled his thermal off.

My God, he reallyhad been working out. He was gorgeous. His upper body was so tightly muscled, and if I wasn't mistaken, Jake had talked him into getting a tan. I couldn't help but glance down at the short hair that formed a narrow trail from his navel and under his jeans, wondering if he was tan everywhere. Jesus, his abdomen was even more sharply defined than Jake, a full eight pack, from the looks of things. I ran my hands over his stomach, exploring his body, just to be sure I wasn't imagining it. I smoothed my hands up his chest. He wasn't bulky like Jake, but God, his body was sohard!

"Becca?" he said tentatively.

I shushed him gently, caressing his chest and stomach while kneeling in front of him. I unlaced his boots and took them off, then his socks. I pushed my hands up his thighs and dug my fingers into his jeans and boxers, then pulled them down. I took my time, revealing his nakedness inch by inch. The sharp V of his torso meeting his pelvis made my mouth water, and I couldn't help but stare at him. His semi-hard shaft was coming into view, but his lower abdomen had my full attention, the full eight-pack abs and the tightly muscled crease where his thighs met his body, wanting to trace it with my tongue. I kept myself in check and held his jeans and underwear against the floor so that he could step out of them.

When he put his foot back down, I couldn't help myself. I wrapped my arms around his legs and pulled him into me, and I hugged him. My cheek pressed against his warm shaft and he took a sharp breath. It had nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with just missing my husband, and I told him.

"I missed you," I murmured.

He didn't say anything, but he put his hand on the back of my head and stroked my hair. I could feel his pulse through his shaft, and I lost myself in the feel of his maleness against my cheek, his smooth helmet resting in the hollow of my throat. He was so different from Jake, but more than that, he was so different from what I thought I knew about him. I was momentarily overcome with the desire to explore him, to reacquaint myself with his penis, a part of him that I should be intimately familiar with, being his wife and all, but wasn't familiar with enough by far.

Turning my head, I let his shaft brush along my cheek and lips, then I gave it a soft kiss. He took another sharp breath and his hand tightened against my head when I kissed his penis again. He didn't know it, but I was where I wanted to be, on my knees in front of my naked husband, ready and willing to be used, my mouth an eager receptacle for his cock. I think he would have let me take him into my mouth too, but I wasn't dressed for the occasion, so it would have to wait. Besides, I didn't think he was ready for that.